“I should have my head examined,” I growl under my breath, stomping away and slamming the door for good measure. “The woman is just infuriating. I was only trying to help her by pointing out something she needs to get fixed. Just like every other woman on the planet she had to overreact. This is why I quit fooling with them. They make such a fucking drama out of everything. I’ve never had to deal with women much. It’s been easy… more like business than anything else. They have something I want and I have something they want. Hell, Hope is the first woman who manages to get under my skin. She actually fights with me. Still, maybe that’s her angle. I keep forgetting she crawled into my bed, she’s playing a game just like all the other women in my life—she just has a different playbook. That’s all it is.

Now if I could just forget what we did in that bed. Fuck, I woke up last night stroking my cock and I swear I could smell her scent all around me and her taste on my lips. I awoke desperate, needing more from her. So desperate, I almost marched over to her place and took what I needed. I was pretty sure she would give it to me…well I admit, it was probably closer to fifty-fifty. I was stupid for staying here another night. It’s accomplished nothing. I should have been long gone with Clancy, Idaho and a certain woman with warm caramel hair that reminds me of apples in the fall... in my rearview mirror.

With a sigh that feels like it was dredged from the bottom of my soul I head toward my room. I feel older than dirt lately and being here for some reason makes me feel older. I never thought I’d find myself in this shape at this point of my life. I’m at the age now where I envisioned a home, a good woman and being… settled.

That’s a fucking joke.

The only thing I’ve settled is that women are evil and life is a fucking bitch.

I demanded Hope supply a television in the room earlier and she brought one in here that looked like it could be the very first ever made. I was genuinely surprised it wasn’t black and white when I turned it on. I fall back on the bed, and turn it on, but within thirty minutes of sifting through the channels I’m bored to tears. Too keyed up to do much else, I slip out of my clothes and into my swim trunks. They’re still a little damp from yesterday, but it doesn’t matter. They will get wet in the pool anyway. I tag a towel as I head out the door, throwing it over my shoulder. I’m shocked when I see Hope by the pool with her son.

“What are you doing?” I ask stupidly, since it’s pretty clear what she’s doing. She’s got swim trunks on her son and she’s wearing a very modest navy blue one-piece swimsuit. I can’t remember seeing a woman wear a one-piece suit. It’s usually a bikini and the more skin it shows the better. What Hope is wearing shouldn’t be sexy. I’ve seen dresses that show more skin than she is right now. But she might be the sexiest thing I’ve seen. Except for the color, she kind of reminds of the babes from Baywatch—that old stupid television show I enjoyed puberty with.

“Swimming?” she asks, looking up from the small round soaking pool that is about five feet away from the actual pool. She’s sitting down inside the circle with her son on her lap. He’s splashing in the water and playing with what I would assume are bath toys.

“I thought this was for guests,” I ask, still shell-shocked and I’ll even admit that I shouldn’t have put it like that. It didn’t exactly come out like I meant for it to. I’m too busy trying to control my stiff cock to pay much attention. You would think I could control my fucking hormones at my age, especially with her son here.

Apparently not.

“My son wanted to play in the water. Do you have a problem with that?”

“No, of course not. It just seems…”

“What?” she huffs and I get the feeling that with this woman I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

“It just seems unusual I guess.”

“Maybe if we were open for business, but like I’ve said time and time again—we’re not open.”

“I can come back later if you want?” I ask, and for the first time in my life I’m unsure of what to do around a woman. That’s not exactly true, it seems Hope is always throwing me off my game. Not that I ever had much of a game. There was never a need for it when women had a tendency to fall on my dick.

“It’s fine,” she sighs out, saying it in a way that I’m pretty damn sure that it’s not fine, but I shrug it off. If she wants me gone she should have the balls to tell me. Although I’m damn glad she doesn’t have balls.

I walk into the pool, as Hope goes back to talking to her son. The silence between us is strained, at least on my end. It occurs to me I don’t really know how to be around a woman where sex is not on the table… and one who has a kid.

I pretend to be floating and absorbed in being alone. Yet, I find myself listening to the two of them play and laugh. I’ve not really been around kids before. I’ll be turning forty next year, and I’ve never really wanted kids. My parents didn’t really want anything to do with me, and I made up my mind never to be the absentee parents they were. Which truthfully led to the decision never to have children. I had a career, a busy life and there was just no room for children. Listening to Hope talk to her son and the little boy’s laughter, I can’t help but wonder if I missed out on something.

I watch out of the corner of my eye as Hope pulls a sponge out of the pool and then squeezes it over Jack’s head. Jack throws his head back, laughing in this adorable tone. He’s actually laughing so hard that his whole body tightens and shakes with it. The sound of his laugh does something to me. It gives me this strange feeling in my chest and I can’t hide my smile.

“Mommy,” he laughs again and this time he wraps both his little arms along the side of her neck and hugs her tight letting his head lay down on her chest. I watch as Hope’s face goes soft and she lowers her head against him. It’s a private moment and I feel like I’m intruding, but I can’t look away. I forget I’m supposed to be floating and minding my own business. My body scrapes against the far end of the pool where the net was leaning, at the edge of the concrete, against one of the loungers. My hand hits it and causes it to splash into the pool—on top of me.

“Shit!” I growl, embarrassed as the net and long blue aluminum pole it is attached to, crash on my face. My chin getting the most of the hit and the metal leaving it stinging.

“Shit!” Jack mimics and my face jerks around to see Hope frowning at me.

“Do you mind not saying those words around my son?” she growls, and then after giving me a look to freeze icicles on my balls, turns her attention back to her son. “Jack, what did Mommy say? You don’t say those kinds of words,” she admonishes, but Jack’s not really paying her attention and instead his little hand is pawing at her breast.

“Hungry,” he mumbles.

I definitely know that feeling kid.

I force myself to turn around and busy myself with putting the net back on the edge of the pool, trying to keep myself from watching the two of them—and pretty much failing.

“Stop that, Jack. You know better,” she whispers quietly. I turn to watch as she pulls his hands away. She’s blushing. I’m not sure I’ve ever known a woman who actually blushes. Her cheeks turn a bright pink.

“Mommy! Got to pee! Got to pee!” the kid yells, splashing the water with his hands.

“Okay honey. Give mommy a second to get your toys,” she says, already stacking the toys in a bucket she has sitting close by.

“Mommy pee!”

“Okay. Okay little man, let’s go pee,” she laughs getting up. She picks him up easily. She leans down with one arm, in a move that I would have said that was impossible, but somehow she makes it look easy.

She walks away, not bothering to say goodbye. I stand there watching them and the silence left behind them makes me feel strange.

Almost… Lonely