“Oh God, oh God, oh God!” I whisper frantically as I flip Aden over. Then I’m panicking because I flipped him over. Would that cause more damage? Isn’t there a rule about not moving someone? Or does that only count in car wrecks? My shaking hands go to his chest and I feel tears stinging at the back of my throat and in my eyes. They explode when I feel his heart beat underneath my hand. I look at him through the streams of tears that are running unchecked. His forehead looks swollen already, bruised and there’s blood running from it.

“Aden. Aden!” I yell, shaking him, even as I’m wondering if that’s the right thing to do. I have Jack inside. He’s napping but I can’t be out here this long. I have no idea if the baby monitor even carries this far! I don’t have my cellphone. I have to call the paramedics. Oh God. He’s going to sue me.

Even as I think the words, I feel guilt. I should be worried about Aden and how bad he’s hurt—not about being sued. I can’t help it though. I feel real panic. Then I realize I threw something at him when he was close to the pool. I essentially caused this accident. After the screaming match in front of that woman, could they get me for murder if he dies? Or attempted murder? Assault? Oh my God! Could I go to jail? I have Jack! I’m panicking. Pure unadulterated panic. I know it. I feel it, but what I cannot do is stop it. If Daria was here she’d slap the shit out of me. I’m too much of a wimp to do that to myself.

“I’m so sorry!” I cry as I get up and run back to the motel, leaving Aden alone. I have no idea if I’m doing the right thing—it feels wrong, but I also know that it’s the only way I’m going to get him help.

I run all the way back, I can barely catch my breath by the time I push through the front door. I grab the cordless phone, still moving so I can check on Jack. It takes me three times to dial 9-1-1. It finally connects.

“9-1-1. What’s your emergency?”

“Aden! He fell by the pool. He warned me about that railing, but I hadn’t had time to fix it. I swear I was going to!”

“Okay Ma’am. What’s the victim’s injuries?”

“I don’t know! He’s unconscious! I couldn’t get a response from him. But he’s still breathing, I swear! I didn’t kill him!” I cry stupidly, and the panic is taking over by this time. “Why did I move out here to run a motel? I ruined everyone’s lives by moving out here! Jack’s, mine and now I’ve probably killed Aden, or he has some kind of brain damage. I was insane! I know nothing about running a motel! My mother told me I was too stupid to run a business. Why did I listen to my Aunt Ida Sue when she told me I should do it! She said I had my Aunt Edna’s genes! She said I’d be great! She said I’d take to it like a pig takes to shit! What does that even mean?” I cry out. I truly have no idea that I’m talking out loud, until the woman interrupts me.

“Ma’am, I need you to calm down. Can you tell me if the victim is discolored at all?”

“Victim? Why are you calling him a victim? This was an accident! Aden would tell you that himself if he could talk!” I yell in my fear-filled haze, even though I was pretty sure Aden wouldn’t agree at all. If he survives he’s probably going to sue me, or press charges and laugh when they hang me.

Oh God. I just moved here. Do they still hang people in Idaho? I mean, that’s too barbaric right? They’ve had to give that up now. They protest these days if you breathe wrong. Surely hanging is out of the question. Idaho does have the death penalty though… I think. Shit. I don’t know. Can you get the death penalty for things like this if he dies? Probably. I mean I can’t afford a lawyer! I’ll get railroaded! What will happen to Jack?

“Ma’am, did you hear me?”

“What?”

“I asked if the victim—”

“He’s not a victim! His name is Aden!” I insist, really she’s starting to unnerve me with this victim talk.

“Does Aden seem blue, or discolored at all?”

“Not besides the bump on his head. At least not when I was out there. I came inside to get my son and to call you.”

“Take a blanket and cover him in case he goes into shock. I’ve already dispatched an ambulance, it should be out there soon.”

“Okay. I can do that. Please have them hurry!” I cry, suddenly being sued seems like the least of my worries. I can’t let him die. Jail would be bad…epically bad.

I grab a blanket off my bed and then go back to get Jack. He’s still sleeping, but luckily he loves to be awake, so he doesn’t make a fuss at all when I reach down to get him.

“Mommy pway wif Jack?”

“In a bit, little man,” I lie. Mommy wants to crawl in a corner and cry.

We make it outside and I stand Jack carefully on the ground.

“Jack don’t run away. Stay right here. We’re going to take care of Aden.”

“He sleeping,” he says as I cover Aden with the cover. Is it my imagination or does he look blue? I put my hand back on his chest and feel only mildly reassured when I find a heartbeat.

“Yeah, he’s sleeping, sweetheart.” I hold Jack close, crouching down by Aden to wait for the ambulance.

When it comes, they ask a bunch of questions.

“Did you move him?” one asks, and that’s the question that bothers me the most.

“I turned him over. I was afraid not to. Was that the wrong thing to do?” Christ, one more thing to worry about.

“It’s fine. We’re going to take him to Parkview Central emergency,” he says. I nod, watching as they load Aden up in the ambulance.

Jack cries immediately when they slam the doors shut.

“Daddy!” he cries, causing both paramedics to turn around and look at me.

“You can follow behind us to check on your husband.”

I freeze. At first I’m not sure what he is talking about. Then it hits me. They think Aden and I are married.

“Oh I’m not. I mean we’re not…” I’m talking to air though because they’ve already jumped in the cab and are taking off, with the siren ringing in the air.

“Pwitty!” Jack squeals excitedly clapping his hands as he watches the ambulance’s lights. I watch it going away with a sinking feeling of panic.

I walk back to the hotel and dial Daria. I’m doing my best not to start crying again. I don’t want to worry Jack.

“Daria? Can you watch Jack for me?” I ask, feeling horrible because she’s watched him more this week than she ever has.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I feel completely lost and like I’m barely hanging on. I need to get a grip and think about things logically, but right now I’m having a lot of trouble with that.