My phone ringing drags me from a heavy sleep, dreaming of a time when things were easier. But when I glance at the screen, I know as much as I’ve run away from that life, it’s never let me go. Swiping my finger over the screen, I press the phone to my ear only to hear my brother’s voice. “Rick.”

“Callan.” I utter my brother’s name groggily. My voice heavy with sleep from dreams of the past. Pushing off the bed, I glance at the time and notice it’s far too early for him to be calling. As I head into the kitchen, I question, “To what do I owe the pleasure of a call from you?”

“Do you remember why you left?” he questions in that rich English accent that’s heavier than mine, his voice deeper, and I know he’s angry or frustrated.

Even though I’ve been in America for so many years, I still hold onto mine as if it’s the only link I have of my old life. “How could I forget, brother?” I bite out harshly, earning me a dark chuckle from Callan.

“I have news for you, and it’s time to get back at the man who stole everything from us.” His words have my mind reeling, and I’m suddenly awake. A memory assaults me violently as I shut my eyes, willing it away. But it never leaves.

“Carrick.” The voice comes from behind me. I recognize it instantly. The man who raised me to be this monster. Don’t get me wrong. I love him, he’s my father, but deep down I wish he’d chosen a different life for me. Something other than becoming a man so feared around the country that an utterance of my name sets someone into panic mode.

“Dad.” I turn to him, shrugging on the suit jacket for my sister’s wedding. I don’t want her marrying that asshole, but with the money they can bring to the organization, the marriage is sealed. This life is not something I’d wish on anyone. That’s why I plan to leave once the nuptials are over. I’m flying to America where I can be normal. Or at least try to be.

“I need you to finish a job for me. Tonight.” That’s not a request; it’s an order. My father doesn’t ask permission. He also doesn’t allow anyone to refuse him. Especially his sons.

“I want to leave once it’s done. I’m taking Aurora with me,” I tell him, knowing he’ll have something to say since he doesn’t like my choice in women. However, he can’t dispute our relationship since she’s the daughter of his business partner. Also, she’s the first and only girl who can handle my dark needs.

“I think you’re making a mistake, but . . .” His words trail off as he places his hand on my shoulder, offering it a squeeze. “I’m always here for you. Family first and forever.” The utterance of our motto is enough to have guilt weighing heavily on me. The tattoo on my back that I got when I turned eighteen burns my skin now as realization hits that I’m about to walk out on the family I’m meant to stand beside.

“First and forever,” I respond, nodding as he offers me a smile and leaves me in the dressing room. The music that filters through the open door is my signal, so I make my way out to the back of the church, finding my sweet sister smiling at me. Her arm through our father’s, her long, flowing white gown trails behind her.

The march into the church is planned to the T. When the priest starts his sermon, I lose focus. Something in my peripheral causes me to turn. When I do, I notice the glint of black metal. Instinct has me diving for Cayleigh first. My body cocoons her as the shots are fired.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

I lose count how many thunderous bullets zip past me, and in the maelstrom, I can’t see my father. I can’t see Aurora. My heart hammers in my chest, threatening to break through. People are panicking. There’s chaos everywhere, and I see red splattered around me, on me.

Screaming echoes in the emptying church, but I can’t move. Protecting my sister is the only thing I can do. I don’t know how long I lie there holding a sobbing woman in my arms, but when the silence hangs heavy around us, I lift my head, turning my gaze to the door now swung wide.

Bodies. Blood. Death.

This is my life. It always will be. I need to leave tonight. No more jobs.

“Are you okay, Leigh?” I turn to my sister whose make-up is racing down her cheeks in black trails of emotion. She nods, but her lower lip trembles. “I need to see who’s hurt. Stay down,” I order. Pulling my revolver from my holster, I rise to find a massacre.

“Rick!” A shout comes from my left. My brother and father are there, safe. Caked in blood, but alive. When I meet my father’s gaze in question, he shakes his head.

I drag my gaze to the place I didn’t want to look, but I force myself to. Aurora is lying in a pool of crimson liquid. Her body lifeless. Her eyes closed forever. I drop to my knees as the anguish settles around me, dragging me into a dark abyss of sadness.

I can’t breathe. My hand has a grip on the gun. It’s the only thing keeping me grounded. A harsh cry rips from my chest, right from my very fucking soul. An anguished, pained sob as I stare at the woman I love lying dead on the ground.

I pull her into my arms. Her lips are parted slightly as if she was trying to say something. A bloom of hope unfurls itself like a flower when she stirs, her eyes fluttering.

“Tigress,” I murmur, hoping this is all just a bad dream.

“I’ll love you always.”

Her final words fall from her lips, and that’s when I know I’ve lost the only woman I’ll ever love. She falls limp in my arms. I don’t cry. My eyes are dry as I take her in, but the ache in my chest is unbearable. Irreparable.

Anger, vengeance, and guilt grips me in that moment.

And I vow on the altar in the church I was baptized in, I’ll find my revenge.

Slamming my hand on the counter top, I growl out down the line at my brother, “What the fuck did you call me for?”

“News, Rick. Calm yourself down, fecker,” he curses as his accent reminds me I’m no longer where I should be -- with my family. “It’s time you finished this, Brother. Moran had a man inside the church before we even arrived that day. We’ve got him here, but his son is in Chicago. He’s on business, unassuming. It’s time you got revenge. An eye for an eye, Rick.”

When we couldn’t find the asshole who killed Aurora, I walked out. I didn’t give up, but I couldn’t put myself through the agony of knowing I couldn’t avenge her murder. That led me to packing my shit and moving here. That’s when I found a life in the darkness. I found pleasure in as many women as I could. They all mean absolutely nothing to me because they’re not her.

I play.

I fuck.

And I close myself off to everything around me. It was only when I found Eva that I found myself caring. Not in the way she wanted, but we both got what we needed from each other at the time.

I can’t love another woman after Aurora.

“I’ll make sure the asshole pays. Give me his details.”

“Listen to me, Rick, this man is worse than his father ever was. He’s young and stupid, but he has an army of guards with him. I—”

“I can handle myself, Callan,” I tell him. My voice rising in frustration. I’ve taken down men worse than that fucker Moran. If my brother thinks I’m not capable, I’ll show him I’m more grown up than he ever was. When I left, my brother, who’s only a year older than me, took over the family business of making sure men paid for their sins. But I know my father had more underhanded dealings than he let on. And I have a feeling the shooting was revenge for something my father did.

Everyone here in my new life knows me as Carrick Anderson, but none of them know my true name—Carrick Aedan O’Leary. Our family goes back centuries in Chicago, linked to the Irish mobsters, and that’s the reason I chose to come here.

With my father’s property development organization based in London, that’s where I spent my younger years, allowing me to easily hide my accent on jobs. Once someone hears the Belfast accent, they’re more likely to be wary because Northern Ireland is known for the dangers that lurk beneath the shiny veneer. And since I’ve been here, it’s easier to hide my ancestry. One reason was to move on, the other was to find my own way without the O’Leary name holding me back.

“I’m just warning you, arsehole.”

“I know,” I tell him. Watching the thick coffee drip into the cup, I envision making the asshole bleed. Soon I’ll be watching his blood drip from my fingers. “I’ve been waiting for this and have much more at stake than you have, Cal. Just send me the details, and I’ll see to it he’s dealt with.”

A sigh greets me from the other end of the line. “I’ll send it in a few minutes.”

“How’s Leigh?” I ask, missing my sister as I wonder how things would be if I hadn't walked out. If her fiancé wasn’t murdered in cold blood.

“She’s . . . I don’t know, Rick. She’s still struggling.” The agony in his voice startles me. “Her job is good, distracting, but it’s when she’s alone. I hear her crying at night. She still has those fucking nightmares.”

“I’m buying her a ticket. She’s going to stay with me for a while,” I tell him, making up my mind. I wasn’t there for her the way I should’ve been. I need to make this right.

“You sure you want her in your shit? Since you didn’t want me there?” His chuckle grates my nerves. My brother knows what sort of kink I enjoy, only because he’s the one who walked into the club and told me that he’s here for the pretty women. He’s an asshole. So am I. But at least I admit it.

“Send her over. I’ll take care of her,” I tell him, picking up the coffee cup now filled with dark liquid. Taking a sip, I revel in the heat and bitter taste.

“If she gets into—”

“She’s a fucking grown woman, Callan. If she wants to do something, I’m not stopping her,” I bite out angrily. I know Leigh. She’s sweet, beautiful, and this life won’t appeal to her. And if it does, I’ll cut the fucker’s dick off who comes near her.

“Yeah, you say that now . . .” he warns, his words tapering to a silent warning.

Sighing, I question, “Is that all you needed?”

“Aye, see you soon, brother.” He hangs up before I have time to respond with a fuck you too. We’ve had our fights growing up, but I know Callan is the only person who will forever have my back.

Dropping my phone on the marble top, I head back into the bedroom. My body tingles with anticipation of finally making the fucker who killed Rory pay. I don’t remember a time when revenge didn’t flow through my veins, and I can’t recall a moment when vengeance wasn’t at the forefront of my mind.

The only time I ever had any semblance of normalcy is when I’m fucking. My mind is blank. This is the only reason I’ve spent the past few years indulging in women. As many as I can because the memory of Aurora burns me every moment of the day. She was the only woman who could disarm me. Her long, flowing, honey-blonde locks reminded me of strung silk. And her eyes, the color of jade, seemed to always pierce the armor I wore so savagely.

Heading into the bathroom, I turn on the double showerheads, and I step under the cold spray. It jolts my system harshly, readying me for the day ahead. Running Sins is part of my life now. Along with Mason, my partner, we have made a living by allowing people a safe place to harness their darkest desires.

Closing my eyes, I allow the now scalding water to cascade down my body. Moran is so close I can taste his blood on my tongue. It’s been years coming. After he went underground, we searched high and low. He’s evaded us for far too long. A smirk tilts the corner of my mouth at what’s to come.

Once Callan sends me the information I need, I can plan and ensure Aurora’s death is not in vain. What happens after that, I don’t know. Sadness claws at me. The memory of her still fresh in mind as if she’s with me right now.

Shaking the feeling off, I close the taps and step out into the chilly room. I glance in the mirror, taking in my naked form. The scars of the past dot every part of my chest, abdomen, and my upper thigh. All from fights I’ve had before. From an ugly past, which I hope doesn’t follow me into the future.

* * *

When I glance up, I notice it’s almost six in the evening. The day has passed by, and when Callan’s email came through at midday, I set in motion my plans to corner Moran. Pushing up from my desk, I stalk toward my office door, pulling it open to find a tiny blonde with her back to me.

I’m guessing she’s one of our new barmaids standing there like she’s lost. Mason must have hired her. I step out of my office, pulling the door shut behind me.

“What the fuck do you want?” I grunt out harsher than I expected. When she spins around, my breath is knocked from my lungs as jade orbs pin me with a glare so ferocious I feel it like a punch to the gut. As if a ghost is standing before me, all I see is her resemblance to the woman I lost.

She doesn’t respond at first, which grates on my nerves. Her small chin juts out in confidence, and her eyes narrow as she regards me.

“I asked you a fucking question.” I expect her to cower, but she shocks the shit out of me when she squares her shoulders, meeting my gaze dead on.

“I’m Peyton. Should you really be speaking to Savannah’s best friend like that?” she retorts hotly, and I find for the first time in years my dick gets hard for a woman with hair the color of gold and eyes the color of green gemstones.

“Why are you standing at my door?” I ask, ignoring the fact that she’s just told me who she is. Savvie is going to have my balls for being rude to her friend, but I don’t give a fuck. I eat up the distance between us as I step closer to her, and the scent of orchids hits me right in the nose. When I lean in, her fragrance only intensifies. She lifts her eyes to meet mine. The heat of them burns me right to the fucking core.

“I’m here for Savvie, Carrick,” she bites out angrily. Her delicate hands press against my shirt, pushing me hard, causing me to stumble backward. Fucking bourbon. “She told me you’re an asshole, but I didn’t take you for such a dick.” Her voice is melodic, and even though she’s just insulted me, I can’t help but want to hear more.

“You have a fiery little mouth. Rather than standing in my club talking to me like that, I can put it to better use.” I smirk when her cheeks bloom with a gentle rosy hue. What she said about Savannah has me pondering why the girls have been talking about me.

Savvie is one of my best friends by default since she’s Mason’s submissive. But it’s her personality that makes everyone around her feel the need to be good. She’s always there, just waiting for you to do your best, but in my case, my worst. The beauty that’s stolen more than just my partner’s attention but his heart, too, is something of an enigma.

With her sensual curves, long, flowing, white-blonde hair, and her striking blue eyes, she’s every man’s fantasy. But it’s more than that. She has an air of authority, even in her submissiveness. She exudes a fierce personality that makes her a handful.

I stalk by the petite woman glaring up at me, but when I head down the hallway, I hear her shoes click behind me. “Why are you following me?” I question harshly, not wanting to look at her, because my heart can’t take it. She’s the spitting image of Aurora, right down to her sassy mouth.

“I’m looking for Savannah. Can you please take me to her?” I stop at her question. Turning to face her, I smirk. My mouth curls into one of those signature grins that seem to appease any woman. She said please. That’s how I like my women, obeying and respecting me.

“Seems like the feisty little minx can be a tamed kitten?” I quip, facing her completely. She’s about a head shorter than me, and I wonder what it would feel like having her body above mine. It’s the first time in years a blonde has grabbed my attention like this.

“Don’t get your hopes up. I’m only asking because I was taught manners. Something it seems you’re lacking.” Her response makes me chuckle. Sweet, sexy, and sassy. I love it.

“Clearly you don’t know how to respect a Dominant.”

“Ah, so that’s why you’re acting like an asshole. You know, Carrick, being a Dom doesn’t give you the right—”

I break off her tirade by grabbing her face, crashing my mouth on hers, feeling her lips mold to mine. Her lips open on a gasp which I swallow, licking into her sweet mouth, tasting every inch of her delicious flavor. The hint of mint and lemon seems to intoxicate me, making me drunk on just the one harsh kiss.

Finally, I break away from her to find her green eyes glistening with both desire and burning with anger. She rears back, and her hand makes contact with my face in a slap which stings her more than it does me.

“Don’t ever kiss me without my permission,” she scolds me with anger hanging on every syllable. I watch as she grasps her hand, rubbing the palm in circles. A smile cracks on my face as she glowers at me, possibly wanting me to shy away, but she has no idea who she’s dealing with.

“I never ask permission for anything I do, Pet,” I tell her, leaning in to brush my lips over her ear. “And let me make one thing clear. The next time you attempt to slap me, I’ll spin you around so fast, bend you over anywhere we are, and spank your sweet little ass so hard you won’t be able to sit down for weeks. Do you understand me?”

I don’t wait for her to answer. Instead, my tongue darts out, trailing along the shell of her ear, causing her to shudder in response. I shouldn’t be doing this. She’s a distraction. A ghost I have no reason to be kissing. But deep down I wonder if she’s here for a reason.

“Good girl,” I utter, then turn to walk away. She doesn’t follow. She doesn’t say anything more, and I saunter into the club with a smile on my face. My chest feels tight with the reminder of the past, but there’s also a lightheartedness to the banter. I’ve missed a woman who gives back, and perhaps my soul feels released, free from the cage for a moment. Confusion settles around me as I head to the bar and order a drink.

Almost eight years, and I’ve never had such a need to take a submissive back to my room and show her exactly what I’d like to do to her. Savvie didn’t tell me her friend was visiting, but now that I know, I can’t wait to see more of the little minx.

Dylan sets my drink down, and I offer him a nod. “Thanks,” I tell him as I lift the glass and press it to my lips. The club is full already, and it’s not even seven yet. I wonder if the little blonde will want to play, because my dick is hard, and I’d love to sink it deep inside her tight body.