ADAM
When I said I felt helpless earlier - well that’s nothing to how I feel right now. I’m standing in the doorway watching her break down. I want to give her this time to be with her Dad but I can’t stand by and watch this. She’s got her head on his chest as I approach her. She lifts her head as I stand behind her.
She turns to face me - the look on her face completely breaking my heart. I wouldn’t say I’m hard hearted but I’m not sappy either but seeing her in pain kills me! If I could take it from her I would and stand in her shoes but seeing as I can’t I’ll be here to take the brunt of it.
I take her from the room as Christine goes in. I need to get her out of here but I don’t know if she’ll let me or want to. “Do you want to go home?”
“No.” she sobs. I talk Taylor and Todd into going home and I stay with her, it’s no use all of us being here. She hugs them both, Taylor walks back up to her saying something quietly in her ear, she nods as she wipes her tears. She kisses her and hugs her again. She pulls away and walks towards me.
“I’ll pop around tomorrow, just text me when it’s okay to stop by.”
“Will do thanks Taylor.” She hugs me and kisses me then they make their way out of the ward.
The next two hours are the worst moments of my life. I thought it was bad when Chris was in here but sitting here watching someone say goodbye to a loved one is the hardest thing ever. We’re waiting on his personal possessions and then I can finally take her away from here. I can take her home and look after her like she needs.
A while later a nurse approaches Christine and passes over a clear bag with some items, it’s got his watch in and his wedding ring. He didn’t have anything else on him, it’s hard to believe he’s only been in almost two days. Once she signs everything she needs to we’re walking from the hospital. Christine just needs to wait for the death certificate.
The next week passes in a blur of tears and heartbreak. I try to soothe and comfort Darcy as much as I can but she’s on shutdown. She’s preparing the funeral as her Mum is in bed. Yet again she’s taken on the role of the provider and it kills me to watch. I’m at my wit’s end as how to help her. She hasn’t spoken about him since we came back from the hospital. The door to the bedroom has been shut and the only time Christine has gone in is for clothes. She won’t sleep in there which is understandable - I can’t imagine how much pain she’s in.
She’s sleeping in the spare room for the time being.
I’m tidying up while Darcy is having a shower upstairs, I pick up her handbag to put it on the furniture so I can hoover up as it drops upturned. Her purse, other bits and pieces fall out - girly things! A box drops out - a rectangular box. I bend to pick it up as I see the word ‘pregnancy’. What the fuck? I pick it up and read the box. It’s a pregnancy test. I pick it up and look at the front. I stop what I’m doing and head upstairs, I sit on the bed with the box in my hands and wait for Darcy to get out of the shower.
I’m still holding onto it, looking at it when she walks in the room. She stills when she sees the rectangular box I’m looking at. “Hey.”
“Hey. Is there something you need to tell me?”
“Um, I’m not sure.” She hesitates as she answers me. I pat the bed for her to sit next to me. She sits down stiffly.
“So?” I put her hand in mine. “You can tell me.”
“I haven’t done one at all yet. I’ve had that since the day my Dad died. I forgot about it totally.” She looks at me but a frown takes over her pretty face. “That was in my bag.”
Feeling the need to explain myself, I don’t want her to think I was snooping. “It dropped out of your bag when I picked it up so I could clean. It was on the floor staring at me, when I realised what it was, I came up here.”
“I would’ve told you I promise. I just haven’t thought about it.”
“It’s ok, you’ve had a hard time, you’re still having a hard time. How long have thought you may be pregnant?”
“Over a week. Taylor made me buy that.” I turn my body to her so I can look her in the eye.
“You know I love you right?” she nods, “how about putting me out of misery, you know I’m not the most patient bloke around.” I smirk as Darcy sniggers.
“Don’t I know it.” with a raise of my eyebrows, she gives me a small smile, that’s the most I’ve had in a week, but knowing I put that smile there makes me happy.
“Okay. I’ll do it now.” I rub across her bottom lip with my thumb. It’s the first time today she hasn’t cried, but I’m expecting them, it’s also the first time she’s really eaten anything. “I love you, Adam. I’m sorry I’ve been such a mess.” Bending my head, I place my lips against hers and kiss her softly.
“I love you too, so much with every piece of me,” kissing her again a little bit deeper, I pull back from her. “You’re not a mess, you’re grieving and you can take as long as you want to. You’re allowed to grieve and I’ll be here every step of the way; in everything we have to go through. As long as I have you I’m happy.” Rubbing my nose with hers, I say against her lips, “now go pee on a stick… and find out whether I’m going to be a Dad or not.”
“I’m going!” She puckers her lips and kisses me then leaves the room.
My hands go to my hair, the panic sets in, my heart beats a little too fast and she’s taking forever to pee! Who takes this long to pee?
I’m about to shout her as she walks from the bathroom with a stick in her hand. She sits down next to me. “Now we wait for three minutes.”
This is going to be the longest three minutes of my fucking life….