Helena runs out of the bar, crying her fucking eyes out. I’m left with a bloody and bruised face, body, and ego. I run out with Halloway not too long after, mostly because the cops are surely on their way. What I really want to do is go back in that building and show them who’s boss, but really, the fight was unfair to begin with. Halloway and I are SEALs. We can take on anyone who comes our way.

We end up driving miles out, toward an old lake we used to drink at. Lucky for us, we have a few beers in the trunk of his car. It’s a time to reconnect, a time to rediscover our roots. Of course, bar fighting will do that to a SEAL. At least, it will for anyone who was in our platoon.

“Fuck, I’m all banged up,” I whisper as I open a can of Coors. I drink it quickly, and roll the cold can around my face. “I’m getting old. This shit is starting to hurt more.”

“What is? Heartbreak?” Halloway chuckles softly, but his tone is sad.

“Ha, I wasn’t thinking that, but you’re right. Heartbreak does hurt more,” I admit. “I just can’t believe the woman.”

He nods and takes a small sip of his beer. “You heard her though, right?” he asks. I raise a confused eyebrow. “She said Judy brought her along, and that it wasn’t her fault. It was just one of those wrong place, wrong time situations.”

“I’ve heard that a million times,” I say, staring out at the ice-cold lake. It’s started to freeze over, but it’s not exactly solid yet. There’s an urge in me to jump in, to just say, “fuck it,” and see what happens. However, I sit still and keep on staring.

“Yeah, but I think she may be telling the truth,” he says. “Judy is wild, man.”

“Wild? She’s a teacher. How wild can she really be?” I ask him. “Every time I see them together, they just gossip. Sounds like typical girl shit to me.”

“Nah, man. Like, she’s crazy. That’s why I like her. ‘Cause I’m off my head, just like her,” he laughs. “Seriously, I bet she dragged her to that bar and made her talk to that guy. She didn’t seem like she was having a great time.”

He’s right. She did seem a bit out of character. “He had his hand on her arm,” I protest. “Did you see it? If you saw it, you’d understand my anger. He touched my girl.”

“I thought you two weren’t dating,” he laughs. “I thought you two were just fooling around.”

“You know what I mean,” I spit against the grassy dirt.

“I think something’s going on with you, man,” he says to me. It infuriates me. Who the hell is he to talk to me about issues? I stand up and chuck the can of beer into the lake. I instantly regret doing it, however, and grab a large stick and fish it out. “See what I mean?” he asks.

“I kind of flipped on her the other day,” I admit, kneeling down. I rub my face in my palm and breathe out, until a calm washes over me. Of course, that doesn’t last too long. “God, I’m so fucking arrogant. I’ve kept too much from her. She thinks I’m a saint.”

“What happened?” he simply asks, ignoring the rest of my outbursts.

“She grabbed my plaque of medals,” I say. “It made me lose my shit. I don’t know why. I just didn’t want her to see it.”

“I hear ya,” he says, finishing his beer. “I don’t like it when people bring it up either. They’ve got all their notions about what it is to be a soldier, but in the end, they have no fucking clue what it’s like. It’s a tribe. Things happen. Some of them are commendable and some of them, well, just aren’t. The medals and all that shit are just for show. It’s for the rest of the world to gawk at.”

“Yeah,” I laugh. “Accessories. When I got them, I was pretty fucking proud. I thought I would wear them all the time, and for a while, I did.”

“Ha, remember how many women used to flock over to us when we wore our uniforms out? I swear, it was the biggest pussy magnet in the whole fucking world,” he says, thinking back.

“Hell yeah, I remember. It was fun while it lasted, but after a while, I just started to feel bitter. You know?” I ask.

“I know,” he says, nodding plainly.

“And like, now I just want to be a normal person. I want to repair people’s homes and make people feel good in that way. I want to go home after a long day of work, enjoy a beer, and be like any other person in the world. I want to watch TV and have a wife. I hate to say it, but I want to ignore that part of me,” I say. I feel like I need to clarify myself, though. “It’s not that I’m embarrassed or ashamed of being a SEAL. I wouldn’t do anything different if I could. It’s just that I’m done with that part of my life. That was then. This is now.”

“Man, women seem so complicated sometimes, but I think men might be the hardest creatures to read,” he laughs.

“Fuck,” I laugh too. “That’s true. I don’t want to admit that, but it’s damn true.”

“I think you have your answer,” he says. “I don’t think it has to be over between you two if you don’t want it to be.”

“How so?” I ask. “Pretty sure she hates my guts.”

“Nah, she’s just embarrassed and a little frightened,” he says.

“I guess, man.”

“Look, just apologize to her. Buy her some pretty flowers. Do something nice for her. And tell her what you just told me. You’ll be fine,” he says.

“You think?” I ask him.

“Man, I know so. Judy’s tryin’ to teach me. I guess she’s taught me some shit. After you’re done telling her the honest truth, there’s no way she won’t be back, around your cock and screaming your name,” he says, clapping his hands loudly.

“I hope you’re right, man. Helena is the best lay I’ve ever had,” I admit. “She’s always the sweetest flower in all of Canton. I miss her.”

“Don’t get too sappy now,” he says, eyeing me. “I still need a partner to get in bar fights with.”

“Halloway, you know I’m always down for a good fight,” I laugh. We both clink our cans together and finish another round. Things are a little weird right now, but I’m starting to have hope that it can be better.