Lincoln

 

“You’ll be coming back soon,” I said to Etta.

Still, I found myself waiting for her to respond to me like she’d move beneath the sheet and suddenly be alive once again. For a few minutes, I sat on the cold concrete with the strand of hair pinched so tight between my fingers it hurt.

“Not long,” I said. “Not long at all.”

I watched her, waiting for her to move, waiting for her to sit up beneath the sheet and embrace me. When I felt the chill rise through the floor up my legs, I knew it was time to get up.

Walking over to the machine, I stood in front of it with a sense of reverence. Even though it was of my own making, it felt that I was regarding some ancient structure created by otherworldly beings.

No one knew of its existence apart from me and Norma and there came such a feeling of power from it that I felt myself grow dizzy. Yet the hair never left my grip.

The machine came to life in a flurry of icy blue lights that glowed its unique shade of indigo onto my face. In that moment, it lit up my eyes. It lit up my entire life with the possibility that I’d see her again.

Deep within its core sat the mechanical heart that would pump life into the clump of cells I was to introduce. Sterile and untouched, it sat surrounded by glass and lights, waiting to be penetrated by the hair shaft. I slid it inside and with great reluctance, pulled my fingers away.

A moment later, I was closing over the door, pressing the great purple button and listening to the hissing sound of the processor. Fuck, I thought. It’s really happening.

The blue lights floated over the sheet on Etta’s body like a portrait of some ethereal, electric night time.

“It’s happening,” I cried, falling to my knees. “It’s happening, sweetheart. You’re coming back!”

The lights danced where her face was supposed to be. Soon, I’d be kissing it again and feeling the softness of her skin.

“Norma!” I called up the stairs. “Normal it’s okay. I’ve fixed everything!”

I ran up the stairs, taking the steps so fast I tripped twice, skinning my knees on the rough wood.

“Norma!”

She must still be asleep but that was okay. She’d wake up to the greatest news she’d ever receive.

“Norma?”

There was still no sound. I moved into the kitchen ready to see her sleeping body on the floor but she wasn’t there.

“Hey, Norma.”

I looked up at the clock and realized I’d been down there for six hours already. How did that happen? I was just… gone for a moment.

“Norma, shit I’m sorry I left you there for so long. Norma!”

It was then that I looked up and saw the door to the patio was open. Outside smoking, I thought. That’s where she always is. The door was only slid open enough to fit Norma’s small, elderly body and as I pushed it all the way open, I realized how exhausted I was and it fell back with a clatter. 

I had grown weak these last few months, and weaker still over the last couple days. Now I was running on nothing but rum and adrenaline. As I stepped outside, I could see my reflection in the windows, could see just how skinny I had gotten. My ribs protruded from my sides like a landscape of ancient rocks.

“Norma? Are you out here? I have something…”

I saw something else in the window. It was moving in the pool behind me.

“Hey? What are you doing out-?”

Norma lay on her back floating in the center of the pool. I assumed she’d climbed into the water to cool down but still sedated by the valium, she’d simply rolled over onto her back and fallen asleep.

“It’s getting really cold out here,” I said. “You better come inside. I have the most amazing thing to show you.”

She said nothing and I took a step forward. Kneeling down, I attempted to reach out toward her in an attempt to pull her to the poolside. It was then that I saw how the emerald green water had become discolored around the perimeter of her body.

I leaned in closer and saw the blood pouring from her wrists, cascading down into the pool from her pale, fragile arms.

“Norma!”

I jumped in and slapped a hand to her throat. There was no pulse, no movement of her breathing.

“Wake up. Wake up!”

But I saw how much blood there was. It was soaking into my shirt, pouring down the sides of my body and turning the water around me crimson.

“Fuck. FUCK!”

I shook her, pointlessly and her body sloshed in the water. Something cold and sharp brushed against my foot. Looking down, I saw something glint beneath the water. A razor blade, one of my own she must have taken from my bathroom.

I stepped over it as I pulled her up onto the ground. All the blood had been drained from her so that her skin looked like the whitest alabaster.

“Kiss Etta for me,” I said as I stood up. “I have to go back to work now.”