“I didn’t realize I had so much stuff.” I’m not really speaking to Elliott. It’s more a comment on the state of the beautiful bedroom I now call mine.

Elliott nips a kiss against my sleeved bicep. “It’s fine. It’s good to have you here.” His hand wraps around it and tugs me in as we survey the growing catastrophe.

“I’m thinking I should have cleared some room so we had somewhere to put at least part of what you moved in.” I hear the guilt ring through my words.

“It’s OK. Where shall we start?”

Elliott turns and walks toward the doorway. “I started clearing you space in here.” He gestures into a spare bedroom by jabbing his arm over the entrance.

“Huh?” Why is he making space for me in a different room? Isn’t the idea that we’re sharing?

“Yeah, I thought this way, all your things can be together.” I’m not sure if he’s sensing my disconcertion, because his smile is too bright.

“OK, but I’m sleeping next door with you right?”

“Sure.”

“So, why are my things stuffed in another room?”

He pauses. “I’m not sure. I just thought it would be easier.”

“This isn’t about what’s easy El. It’s about us sharing our lives, not shoving one of them off into a spare room.”

“Oh...” He fidgets, and I stare without moving a muscle.

“Is this how it’s going to be?”

“What?”

“With me shoved to the side, effectively dispersed to another room so I don’t cause any undue mess?” My hurt catches in my voice and Elliott notes it with a bite of his bottom lip. My room has that smell of a place which is used infrequently. I’m being dumped where it’ll cause the least amount of disruption.

He tugs me until I nestle against him. “I didn’t think about it like that. I wanted you to have enough space to lay everything out as you’d like without having to work around me. Something of your own.” His voice is soft.

We both pause, taking in the wires which can be so easily crossed. Moving in together is so easy and romantic in your head. The reality is quite a different story.

Elliott clears his throat. “How about this? You move your stuff into here because I don’t have anywhere else for it right now so it’s just easier and then we’ll knock this through so that our room becomes a suite?” He leaves me and heads back to the bedroom, standing side on over the threshold. “Look.” He waves his hand again. “It backs onto a vacant wall. We can smash through and have a huge, combined dressing area that we both share.”

It seems like the most sensible plan. And it will be nice to make some changes to the place so that we’re in our home rather than me moving into his, which is exactly how it feels right now. I chew the inside of my mouth, not yet ready to give up my sulk, but at the same time not wanting to ruin what should be an exciting day.

“OK, that sounds like a plan.” I walk over to the small wardrobe and open the door. It’s still half full with boxes and winter coats. “Elliott, you haven’t even cleared out the place you wanted my things to go!” My volume is raised and I’m standing with my hands on my hips staring.

“Oh, it’ll take two seconds. Come on.” He bustles past me and hauls out the jackets. “These will just move to the room down the hallway.”

I stand alone. It’s only for a second, but it’s one of those which stretches. I had not expected someone who claims to want me so much to make so little effort to welcome me. I try to shift the feeling I’m imposing myself on him, but it lingers like a bad smell.