Morgan
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
For a moment I sat in the car looking out the window, wondering if I was daydreaming. The house I left in the early hours that morning had somehow been transformed. No longer were the gutters falling off, and the broken screen door wasn’t leaning against the side of the garage. Nope, all of that had been fixed or replaced.
There were flowers, bright, colorful, cheerful flowers. The sun was beginning to set and the glow was still barely peeking up over the tree line, highlighting the house and making everything appear spotlighted. It had been years since I had seen it look even half this good.
The fact there were guys camped out all over the front yard made it even crazier. Guys I knew. The last time I’d seen them was when I was yelling at one of their brothers while they all stood around looking at me like at any moment I would explode.
Now they were all laughing and carrying on with my father and Marcus. Isaac, Red, and the twins, all behaving as if they had known my family forever.
I exited the car and moved across the now trimmed front lawn looking around in awe, just taking everything in. “Looks good, huh?” I looked up to see Marcus smiling back at me. All eyes were now on me.
“How did this all happen in one day?” I asked, still feeling like at any moment I might wake up.
“We’re badass like that,” one of the twins said confidently, and I couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled in my chest.
“We got skills,” the other one added, only making me laugh harder. I don’t know what was funny—if it was because I was in a state of shock, or that I was just extremely tired and the idea that a bunch of college guys showed up at my parents’ house and revamped the years of neglect. I just know I felt I couldn’t control my reaction.
“That’s not all we’re good at,” again one of the twins said. I honestly needed to figure out which one was which one day. “We tricked out Toby’s ride too, check it out.”
I spun around when I heard a little beep of a horn. I fully expected to find Toby sitting behind me, but instead I found my mother in Toby’s wheelchair. Or at least I think it was Toby’s chair.
“Isn’t it great?” she said with a huge smile. A bigger smile than I had seen on her face in, well, I couldn’t even remember seeing one that big.
The play chair no longer could be classified as plain. They had given it turtle power, so to speak. It even had a matching ninja turtle flag, which stuck up about three feet above my mother’s head. The armrests were covered with a faux fur, green no less. The foot pegs were now two oversized turtle feet and there was even a plaque, Boy Ninja Toby, in big bold letters.
More laughter spilled from me. “It’s amazing, I bet he loves it.”
“He drove it around the yard until the battery was almost dead,” my dad added.
I could feel the lightness around me. Like years of tension and stress that was weighing on my father had been lifted in a matter of one afternoon. It was overwhelming.
“Where’s Toby?” I asked, because I honestly wanted to see the happiness on his face from his new gift.
“He’s sleeping,” my mother said as she carefully climbed out of his chair. A feeling of disappointment hit me. “But there’s more,” she said as she waved me toward the house.
I followed her, wondering what else there could be.
“You have to be quiet,” she said in a hushed tone as she walked toward the hallway that led to Toby’s room. As we got closer, I could see green lighting that I knew wasn’t something he had before. I imagined his lamps were swapped out and replaced with green bulbs or something. Never, though, did I expect to see what I saw once I stepped inside.
Scanning over the room, I felt as if my legs had weakened and I used the doorframe to brace myself. One wall had been transformed to look as if it was made of brick. In the center was a huge three dimensional hole. One that looked as if it was dripping water.
“It’s the sewer entrance from the Ninja Turtles,” my mother whispered.
I could see it now, and she was right. It was the neatest thing I had ever seen.
Toby’s flatscreen had been mounted on the wall and his old television stand had been removed. In its place was a desk with shelving units on both sides. The desk was the perfect height so his chair would slide right up to it. Green lanterns were hanging throughout the room, and I looked closer, trying to figure out just what they were made of.
“It is actually a light fixture. Xavier and Marcus hooked it up, and instead of keeping the regular clear globes, they painted them with a green paint. When the lights are out, it gives off that green glow.” When she mentioned Xavier, I began scanning the room until my gaze landed on the bed. It had also been changed and was adorned with a Ninja Turtle comforter that matched the bedroom. Only it was the body that lay curled up next to my brother’s that I couldn’t look away from.
Xavier looked huge in the double bed. His broad shoulders and wide frame made Toby seem so tiny in comparison. The image took my breath away, I swear.
“He did all this,” I said without looking away, “didn’t he?”
“Yes,” she said, telling me something my heart already knew. “He’s been here since a little after lunch, and so have his friends.”
A silence settled over us, allowing me a few moments to gain control of my emotions.
“I know you’re upset with him,” my mother began. “Yesterday was rough, but he did all this not because he had to, but because he wanted to. Not everyone goes to this extreme to make up for one simple mistake.”
Again a small silence before she continued. “I know Toby is your weakness, because he’s mine too, but do you think it hurts more because he let you down too? Because you expected more from him?”
“I did expect more,” I said without hesitation.
“Sometimes being hurt by those we love hurts so much more than if it was someone you barely knew.” The realization of what she said hit me.
“I do love him,” I told her, feeling the burn in my chest.
“I know you do,” she assured me. “But does he?”
I shook my head as I remained in the same spot leaning against the door jamb.
“Maybe he should,” my mother said just before she leaned in, offering me a sideways hug before stepping out of the room.
She was right. I knew she was.
I carefully pushed off the doorframe, moved toward the bed, and knelt down at Xavier’s side. For a moment I just watched him sleep. He took a deep intake of breath, followed by a gentle, relaxed exhale. It made me second guess interrupting him, but I knew I needed to.
I lifted my hand and slowly traced the top of my finger over his jaw. He began to stir. When he repositioned himself and started to breath evenly again, I decided to take it one step further. I leaned over him, my mouth hovering above his, and pressed my lips to his, offering him a soft kiss. As I began to pull back, his hand cupped the back of my head and he brought his lips back to mine.
I gave in, letting him control the kiss. Our lips moved with one another’s as if they had been doing that very things for years. “I love you,” his words vibrated against my lips and my own began to tremble. “I’m sorry I disappointed you. That is something I never wanted to do, and I can assure you I will never do it again. You mean so much to me.” I lay my head on his chest, tucked my face against his neck, and took a moment to calm myself. I was so very close to crying.
“Thank you,” I finally spoke, my throat burning, “for everything.”
He rubbed my back soothingly as I continued to keep my face tucked in closely to his neck. His chest rose and fell beneath my cheek, deep even breathing that I found also soothed me.
“You should have seen his face when he rolled in here after Marcus and I finished,” Xavier whispered softly. I lifted my head and rested my chin on his chest looking up at him. The glowing light of the lamps above made his face completely visible. “I get it now,” he confessed, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. “I understood before, but now I truly get it. The joy from his happiness.” He lifted his hand and brought it to rest over his heart. “I felt it, that deep uncontrollable ache, from simply witnessing his happiness. It was an amazing feeling.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, thinking of the look Toby gets when he is happy. That wide eyed, open mouth expression. His arms moving up and down as if he’s trying to fly away followed by that screeching squeal of delight. Though some might find it too much to handle, I thought it was one of the very best sounds in the world. It meant he’d been reached, that place deep down within him had been found and that uncontrollable excitement had taken over.
My heart ached, so deep, and I loved it.
“I love you for doing this for him,” I said as I opened my eyes. I found he was looking back at me, with a look of awe on his face. “I love you for being the man you are, and for loving my family as much as I love them.”
Before he could reply, I leaned in once more and pressed my lips to his.
No amount of thanks could ever touch the depth of what he’d done. Not only for Toby, but for my parents too. There was absolutely no way to explain just what his actions meant to me.