Chapter 3

 

 

“Let me guess, Barb—you’re going out with James again. Am I right?”

Barbara rolled her eyes and put her pearl earrings on, the ones her grandmother had given her as a graduation present. She was standing in front of the mirror in the bedroom, ignoring her roommate, Lily, who was lying on her own bed, eating cookies. Barbara studied herself in the mirror, smoothing down the turquoise dress and wondering whether the neckline was too low, too revealing.

She would have liked to ask her roommate for her opinion on the cleavage issue, but since Lily had a rather unorthodox way of dressing, Barbara thought it better not to get Lily’s input.

Although Lily and Barbara had only been sharing the room for three weeks so far—Lily had moved in the day after Barbara met James—the two women had become friends in record time. Luckily. Because sharing a small dorm room could be rather suffocating. But living with Lily was utterly uncomplicated. Which made Barbara wonder what had happened between Lily and her first roommate to cause Lily to be reassigned to another room so quickly. A lot must have happened to culminate in such an altercation in one week, Barbara guessed. But, so far, she’d only ever seen an approachable, reasonable, and utterly considerate Lily. When Barbara was studying, Lily put on headphones to listen to her music or took a walk so she wouldn’t disturb Barbara. What was even better was they had the same taste in movies, which had already led to a few cozy movie nights. Just like in high school, they’d lain in their beds in pajamas, munching on pizza and staring at the small TV set that Lily had brought from home.

Only three weeks ago, Barbara had been extremely frustrated with how lonely she felt without a roommate and with how difficult it was to make friends. But then Lily had invaded her room.

And then there was James. After their magical encounter three weeks ago, she’d seen him every day, and tonight they were going on a real date.

Staring anxiously at her reflection, she brushed back a strand of her dark-brown hair. She didn’t want to admit to Lily that she was nervous, because it seemed ridiculous even to her, for she saw James every day anyway. Only yesterday afternoon, they’d crossed paths in the library and had gone on to share a table, where they’d sat in quiet harmony, each studying for their respective classes. And the day before that, they’d gone to the football game together, sitting side by side in the stands, arguing cheerfully about whether the team’s offense or defense had better players. After the game, James had walked her home, and the entire way, Barbara had waited for James to finally kiss her.

But it hadn’t happened. Instead, he’d asked her out to dinner tonight.

There was no need for her to be anxious. She’d gotten to know James rather well, and she felt very comfortable in his presence. And yet …

She pressed her lips together and thought for a moment—before jolting upright and checking if she’d smeared her lipstick. Nope. Everything was as it should be.

Staring into the green eyes of her reflection, she coyly asked herself whether she should tell Lily that this was her first real date.

Of course, she’d gone out with boys in high school, but those had been boys, and they’d taken her to the movies, or the mall, or classmates’ parties. She’d never gone out to a fancy restaurant with any of them.

Plus, there was the fact that though James was only a year older than her, he appeared much more grown-up and mature than her former dates. She was also irritated that he still hadn’t kissed her. The boys in high school had been so impatient to make out with her in the car on the way home and maybe slip their hands under her shirt. If it hadn’t been for the way James kept studying her, giving her his undivided attention, Barbara might have suspected he didn’t find her attractive at all.

But, no, Barbara knew he was interested, otherwise he wouldn’t have asked her on this date. It was not knowing what he expected from her that made her nervous.

Maybe he expected her to sleep with him on the first date.

That thought not only served to make her blush, she also shifted her weight uncomfortably. She was sure she wasn’t the only Stanford student who was still a virgin at nineteen, but she didn’t want to advertise that fact. If you dared to tell anyone you were a romantic who just wanted to wait for the right person to experience your first time with, they’d call you old-fashioned. These days, people were quick to label you a prude if you graduated from high school still a virgin. Heck, Barbara was the only one of her high school girlfriends who hadn’t lost her virginity on prom night—at the latest.

But Barbara’s prom date had been Tyler Peterson, a boy she’d been friends with since kindergarten, and who was scared to death of her big brother. It would have been impossible to sleep with him that night—since he’d kept her at arm’s length, even when they’d danced. If she’d wanted to sleep with him—which she hadn’t—her skittish date would probably have run away screaming.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

Barbara’s gaze flicked back to the mirror, and she met Lily’s inquisitive eyes.

“Nothing,” she assured her roommate quickly, before grabbing her lipstick and stuffing it in her small evening purse.

“Are you nervous, or what?”

“Of course not.” Barbara frowned, fumbling with the clasp. “Why would I be nervous?”

“That’s what I’m wondering,” Lily said. “You’ve been spending more time with James than your books lately, so what could you have to be nervous about? But you seem awfully … well … anxious … Maybe excited?”

Barbara took a deep breath and threw Lily a slightly annoyed look over her shoulder. “First of all, I do not spend more time with James than my books. And second of all, I’m not anxious.”

“Of course not,” Lily said with obvious amusement. She stuffed a pillow behind her back and crossed her hands behind her head. “So tell me what’s going on.”

“Nothing.” Barbara shrugged one shoulder to show she was taking it lightly. “I’m just a little pressed for time. I don’t want to make him wait when he gets here …”

“Okay, let’s ignore the rule that men should always be made to wait a few minutes when picking you up for a date—and jump right to the fact that your dream guy isn’t due for fifteen minutes. You still have loads of time to stare in the mirror like a doomed mink at a fur farm.”

“Wonderful image. Thank you,” Barbara mumbled. “And he’s not my dream guy.”

“Oh, please!” Lily uttered another amused laugh, which added to Barbara’s irritation. “Every time you look at him with that dreamy expression, I hear a Disney song in my head.”

Barbara threw her purse on her bed and turned around to face her roommate. “You’re not helping at all.”

“Aha! Sounds like there is something going on!” Lily waggled her eyebrows, apparently thrilled to be on the right track. “Already trouble in paradise?”

“Lily!” Barbara shook her head and slowly sat on the edge of her bed.

“What?” Lily raised a nonchalant hand. “You guys are so perfect together, it’s scary. James is the ambitious student with perfect hair—not to forget his impressive pedigree—and you’re not only the prettiest girl on campus, but also something like the Princess of Connecticut. Every time I see you two together, I automatically think of Jackie and John F. Kennedy.”

Barbara felt a blush invade her cheeks. “Stop …”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if your fathers were sitting in an old-fashioned parlor somewhere, negotiating a marriage contract for the two of you.”

Barbara was beginning to get truly frustrated with Lily’s chatter. “James and I are not a couple, and you know it!”

“Oh, come on, Barb.” Lily wrinkled her nose. “You spend all your time together, James accompanies you right to this door every single night, and now he’s invited you to dinner at this totally posh place where they charge a small fortune for a bowl of soup. Of course you guys are a couple.”

Barbara crossed her arms, feeling insecure. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean? What is it that you don’t know?”

She took a hesitant breath. “I don’t know if we’re together.”

Lily shook her head. “Why do you say that?”

Barbara stared at the ceiling as she shyly confessed, “James hasn’t … erm … He hasn’t asked to be exclusive yet.”

“He hasn’t asked to be exclusive yet?” Lily echoed with a chuckle. “Jesus, Barb! Is that what people do in your circles? Ask to be exclusive? Do they get down on one knee, too?”

Embarrassed, Barbara shook her head furiously. “Oh, forget it!”

“Aw, don’t be like that,” Lily continued in a much more sympathetic, patient voice. “It’s obvious to me that you guys are an item. Nobody needs to ask to be exclusive to make it so.”

Barbara licked her lips and gave Lily a dubious look. “We’ve only known each other three weeks.”

“So?” Lily gave her a wide grin. “I formally predict you’re going to end up as Mr. and Mrs. James Campbell one day.”

Barbara rolled her eyes. “I’m nineteen, Lily!” She groaned. “Isn’t it a little early to be thinking about marriage?”

Lily shrugged. “I have no idea how it works in high society, but movies tell me the daughters of rich barons are often married off at that age.”

Barbara grabbed a pillow and flung it across the room. It landed on the side of Lily’s head. She grabbed it and hugged it to her chest with a giggle.

“You’ve been reading too many of those old Victorian romance novels,” Barbara chastised her roommate. “My dad wouldn’t think of marrying me off to anyone, and my mom would disown me if I got married at nineteen.”

Still giggling, Lily said, “Okay, I forgot what our problem was again …”

“The problem,” Barbara snapped, “is that I have no idea what James expects from me!”

Lily wrinkled her nose. “What do you mean expects? He wants to constantly be where you are, he’s invited you to a fancy restaurant, and he only has eyes for you, Barbara. It’s obvious he’s fallen for you.” In a sarcastic tone, she added, “And I don’t mean he stumbled and fell on his face, so don’t even try to play dumb.”

Barbara didn’t reply but lowered her head and absently studied her suede peep-toe heels while in her stomach butterflies did happy somersaults.

“I really don’t see why you’re so concerned,” Lily said, stretching out on her bed. She put another cookie in her mouth and mumbled through the crumbs: “The guy who’s going to knock on that door in a few minutes is super nice, damned good-looking, and has a great ass—”

“Lily!”

“What?” Lily rolled her eyes. “Even a blind gal couldn’t miss that. Plus, I’m sure your parents will be beside themselves when they meet your charming boyfriend, whose father just so happens to be one of the most eminent people in Virginia.”

“I don’t care one bit whether James’s dad has money or not.” Barbara sighed, fed up with always hearing about how high-society her roommate thought she was. “That’s not what matters.”

“Right.” Lily tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear and gave Barbara a confidential wink. “What matters is whether you like James, if he worships the ground you walk on, and whether he’s good in bed.”

Barbara jumped. “Lily, you … Do you have to say stuff like that all the time?” She grabbed her purse in agitation.

“For heaven’s sake,” Lily groaned. “Don’t take everything so seriously, Barb. I didn’t say you have to tell me whether he’s good in bed, did I? You’d obviously not be up for that. Message received.”

Barbara looked away, taking a deep breath. She was hesitant about whether to discuss this with her loud-mouthed friend, but she couldn’t hold in her agitation anymore. “Can I tell you something?” she asked. “But you have to promise not to make a big deal of it.”

“Ugh, I can’t promise you that, but I can try.”

“Lily, please! I’m serious!”

Her roommate raised her hands defensively, already giggling away. “Alright, okay. I’ll be serious from now on. Okay?”

Barbara swallowed hard. “He hasn’t kissed me yet,” she confided.

“What?” Lily looked at her like she’d just declared she was going to shave her head and join the convent. “What do you mean he hasn’t kissed you yet?”

“You said you wouldn’t make a big deal of it,” Barbara reminded her, already regretting bringing it up.

“Does that mean you haven’t slept with him yet?”

Barbara squinted at her roommate. “What do you think?” She ran a hand across her forehead.

Speechless, Lily stared at her. After a minute, she shook her head. “What is going on with you two?”

“What do you think is going on?” she barked at her friend, feeling suddenly defensive. “We’re getting to know each other!”

“The best way to get to know each other is to make out and then see each other naked,” Lily said matter-of-factly.

“Sometimes I ask myself why I don’t smother you with your own pillow one night,” Barbara murmured.

“Well that’s because you like me, because I brought a TV, and because I give the best advice for your love life.”

“I really like James,” Barbara insisted, ignoring her friend’s jokes. “I don’t want to rush it.”

“You wouldn’t be rushing anything making out, Barb,” Lily said, her voice unusually sympathetic. “If I were you, I’d make out with him all the damn time.”

“Thanks, I feel so much better now”, Barbara grumbled.

“You’re welcome.”

Thankfully, before Barbara could be tempted to confess to her roommate that no boy had ever seen her naked, there was a knock on the door.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Barbara looked up from her menu and studied James across from her. Their table in the elegant restaurant was set beautifully, and he was focused on his menu, which gave her the opportunity to study him without him noticing how enraptured she was by him tonight.

Befitting the occasion, he was wearing a white shirt with a dark sports coat over it, and his hair was artfully tousled. The drive to Half Moon Bay had taken half an hour in his BMW, and now they were sitting here in this exquisite Italian restaurant right beside the sea, enjoying the view and a beautiful sunset, faced with a selection of delicacies that all sounded fantastic.

She couldn’t think of a more perfect date, and yet Barbara had to force herself not to fidget in her chair. Lily’s words kept echoing in her head.

“Do you have any idea what you want?”

When he looked up, Barbara lowered her own gaze in record time, dropping them to the menu in her hands with ostensible cool. She didn’t want him to notice she’d been studying him as if he were a tempting slice of exceptionally rich cake.

“Mm … Everything sounds delicious.” She looked up slowly and met his eyes. “Do you know what you’re having?”

He blinked and put down his menu. “Do you always answer a question with a question? Or are you doing it to confuse me?”

Perplexed, Barbara lowered her menu as well, letting her left hand fidget with her glass of water as she blinked at him. “I’m confusing you?”

The dimple in his chin deepened as he grinned. “And another question for an answer.”

Barbara blushed. “James …”

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. “I think I’ll have the swordfish, if you must know. And I’m not just confused by your question-answers. I’m also flummoxed by the fact that I almost hit the guardrail several times on the way here, all because I couldn’t stop staring at you.”

Her eyes widened, and she felt her lips part to form an “oh.”

His blue eyes sparkled with admiration. “You know full well that you always look amazing, but this dress …” He left the sentence unfinished.

She felt unnaturally hot, her skin tingling all over, and she nervously shifted in her chair under his intense gaze. She should have felt self-conscious, but strangely enough, that wasn’t how she felt at all. Instead, she whispered coquettishly, “Are you trying to flatter me?”

“Are you in doubt of that?”

“Now who’s answering a question with a question?”

“Good point.”

“Ha!” she exclaimed triumphantly.

James surprised her even more when he reached across the table and took her hand in his. With sudden gravity in his voice, he murmured, “You look wonderful, Barbara. I’ve been meaning to tell you that since I picked you up.”

The lump in her throat and his fingers intertwining with hers conspired to confound her.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “You look great yourself. I’ve been meaning to tell you, too.”

His soft smile did strange things to her stomach. Unfortunately, the romantic moment was interrupted by the waiter, who asked if they were ready to order as he refilled their water glasses.

James freed his fingers from hers and motioned for Barbara to begin her order. Much to her embarrassment, Barbara was so confused that she had no idea what she wanted, so she parroted the first thing on the menu. It didn’t really matter—she didn’t think she’d be able to swallow anything anyway. She was much too anxious, sitting here with James, not knowing where the evening would go.

Fortunately, James was suave enough to save the table conversation as soon as the waiter left. “How was your presentation?”

Barbara took a sip of water. “Fine,” she replied, in a voice that was still a bit breathless. “The professor was satisfied, at least. I passed.”

He uttered a sigh of disappointment. “So that means we won’t be running away with the circus?”

“Not right now, but who knows about the future?” she said cheerfully. “After all, this is only my first semester. So how was your exam?”

James rolled his blue eyes dramatically. “Don’t ask.”

“Oh.” Barbara made a face. “That bad, huh?”

“Worse,” he admitted. “I hardly remember a word. I think I need to go back next week and pretend I hit my head. That would be an acceptable excuse for forgetting everything we talked about, right?”

She knit her brows. “Why don’t you remember what he said?”

“Because I wasn’t listening very closely.” He shrugged. “To be honest, my mind was miles away, thinking about our date tonight, and I couldn’t concentrate on anything my professor was saying.”

Her eyes were wide now. “You mean to tell me you were nervous about this date?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it nervous.” He licked his lips. “It’s just that …”

“What?”

He raised both hands. “It’s stressful for a guy when he wants to impress a woman.”

Her heart beat in her throat, and she felt unspeakably dumb for asking, but she had to. “Why do you want to impress me, James?”

“Because you’ve come to mean a lot to me, Barbara,” he said, looking completely sincere, “and I want to be with you.”

It was hard to keep her cool after such a confession. “You want us to be together?”

“Isn’t that obvious?”

“That was answering a question with a question again,” she whispered hoarsely.

“Touché.” The corners of his mouth curled into a smile. “Yes, I want us to be together. Actually, I can hardly focus on anything else lately. I’m constantly thinking of you.”

Barbara opened her mouth and then closed it again, unable to find her voice. Finally, she was able to murmur, “I feel the same way.”

His answer was a wide grin.

She took a deep breath, feeling the urge to make a similarly sincere confession. “You’ve come to mean a lot to me, too, James, and I wasn’t sure …” Barbara stopped herself, afraid of embarrassing herself.

“What weren’t you sure of?”

She shook her head and offered him a weak smile instead. “Never mind.”

“Come on, Barbara.” His blue eyes rested on her face. “After I’ve bared my soul to you, you can’t leave me high and dry.”

She replied with a nervous giggle. “You put that nicely.”

But James wasn’t about to be distracted. He nodded at her. “What is it?”

“Nothing, really, it’s just …” She wrinkled her nose before leaning forward. “We’ve been seeing each other for three weeks, but you haven’t …”

“I haven’t what?”

Her shoulders sagged, and she exhaled the breath she was holding. “You haven’t kissed me one single time, James. I’ve been wondering if there’s something wrong with me.”

He heaved a sigh. “Oh, Barbara. Nothing’s wrong with you. Absolutely nothing.”

Was she imagining it, or was James really embarrassed?

He seemed to be searching for the right words. “Fact is … I’m a frat guy, and I know how bad our reputation is.”

Barbara raised her eyebrows. “I have no idea what people think about men in fraternities, James.”

He rolled his eyes. “There’s this cliché about frat guys trying to score freshmen, trying to get laid and all that based on bets and stuff. I didn’t want you to think I was that kind of guy.”

Perplexed, Barbara studied his serious, unbearably handsome face. “Are you saying you didn’t kiss me so I wouldn’t think you’re a womanizer?”

“It means I wanted to get to know you and didn’t want to give you the wrong impression.”

Barbara found that wonderfully old-fashioned and romantic, so she couldn’t refrain from giving him an enamored smile. She felt several hundred butterflies test their wings in her stomach, and she leaned back, bewildered by their situation.

The handsome blond man across from her seemed extremely mature for a twenty-year-old as he studied her now with a thoughtful expression. “And why didn’t you take the initiative and kiss me?” he asked impishly.

Feeling relaxed now, Barbara took one of those wonderful warm breadsticks from the basket in the middle of the table, where it stood with a small bowl of olive oil for dipping. She nibbled on it a bit before murmuring, “I don’t think we’ll never know now.”

“I’ll get my answer eventually,” James promised as the waiter bent between them to serve their appetizers. “Just you wait.”

With only a smile for answer, Barbara dug into the tuna carpaccio.

The ensuing dinner couldn’t have been any more relaxed. They put their heads together across the table, enjoyed the delicious food, and shared a heavenly chocolate cake for dessert, alternating with one fork while giggling like crazy about a story James was telling.

Outside the restaurant afterward, waiting for the valet to bring James’s car around, he carefully draped his coat around her shoulders. The late evening air on the coast was, indeed, crisp, and Barbara’s heart beat wildly as she thanked him. Then she surreptitiously buried her nose in the collar of the coat to inhale its pleasant scent, the fabric feeling wonderfully warm on her skin.

They drove back to Stanford in comfortable silence. Strangely enough, Barbara no longer felt nervous or tense, even though she was now anxiously waiting for James to finally kiss her.

She kept his coat on until they reached the door of her dorm room, loath to return it even then.

“It was a beautiful evening,” he said.

“Yes, it was,” Barbara agreed, leaning against the door so they faced each other in the hallway, staring into each other’s eyes. “Thank you so much for the invitation.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“And thank you for the coat,” she added, raising her eyes to meet his yet again.

“It looks better on you than me.” James put a hand on her cheek and brushed his thumb down her cheekbone as he stared into her eyes with an intensity that made Barbara hold her breath. When he took a step closer, bringing him so close that every fiber of her body was focused solely on his warmth and seductive scent, she lifted her face toward his and closed her eyes.

Moments later, she felt his lips on her own, and she could have melted right there and then, for his touch set off all manner of fireworks inside her. It took all of her strength to stay on her feet, and she couldn’t fathom how a simple kiss was able to throw her off kilter like that.

James’s lips brushed hers gently, sucked cautiously on her lower lip, and finally claimed all of her mouth, his tongue licking her upper lip.

The sweet kiss, the hammering heart, the electrifying tingle that ran through her entire body—all of it conspired to make Barbara emit a sigh of longing. Snuggling up against James, she put her hands on his shoulders. She felt dizzy, his tender kiss striking her to her core. She tasted him and returned the kiss with mounting enthusiasm, until he finally thrust his tongue into her mouth and kissed her deeply.

She moaned and clutched his shoulders, feeling as if she was about to dissolve into sheer bliss, when he wrapped his left arm around her body and pulled her tightly against the hard planes of his own.

Barbara had no idea how long they stood in the hallway, kissing like they were never going to stop, oblivious to the world around them. But somewhere in the building, a door slammed shut, and then the hammering pulse of bass music started to shake the floor, and they broke the kiss, pulling away reluctantly, both of them panting.

Her heart was still racing.

She gingerly put a hand on his chest, right over the spot where his heart was beating a wild tattoo, and felt immense satisfaction that his heart was racing just as fast as hers. She didn’t want to let him go now—wanted to go on kissing him forever—but she had no choice. It was time to say good night.

His voice was very hoarse as he asked, “Will I see you tomorrow?”

Barbara’s knees were still shaky. She took a lurching step backward and nodded breathlessly.

“Okay, good night then,” he whispered, before leaning forward once more to press a good-night kiss to her lips.

He left the coat on her shoulders and turned around to glance back at her at least ten times as he walked down the hallway, toward the building’s exit.

Barbara felt as if she’d burst from the bliss coursing through her. She clutched his coat, stepped into her room, and leaned against the door in a daze. Ignoring Lily’s inquisitive stare, she vowed never to return this coat.