Chapter 40
“I’m surprised she didn’t refuse,” Hope said.
They were sitting side-by-side on the steps of the veranda, a spot they’d adopted as theirs. The two of them had somehow fallen into the habit of ending their long days here, quietly enjoying the gathering night and the satisfaction of knowing they’d made it through another crazy day.
Kade chuckled, enjoying the warmth of her arm as she brushed against his side. He knew he was lowering his defenses and falling in love with Hope Jackson. All the reasons he’d had for keeping her and all women at bay now seemed inconsequential. He could trust Hope. She wasn’t a Caroline. She was not living a lie.
Knowing he was moving their tenuous relationship to another level, he placed his arm around her shoulder, drawing her closer.
“Kade?”
“Shhh.” He buried his face in her hair, smelling the delicate herbal essence of her shampoo. Like the woman snuggled against him, the scent was pure and sweet.
Hope felt her doubts ebbing, replaced by a knowing that right here, right by this strong man, was where she needed and wanted to be. Mentally, she shoved aside the ‘if only’ thought haunting her. The dreaded envelope still rested on his desk buried under a pile of mail he hadn’t had time to open.
I can’t let the fear, the knowing of how Kade will react when he opens that background check and finds out the truth about me, steal these precious moments. I deserve at least this much. I’ll take anything he’ll give me and cherish it, so when he does look at me with disgust and hate in his eyes, I’ll have something to remember. I’ll have something to ease the lonely nights and days when all I can think of is this man and this ranch I’ve come to love. The long nights filled with ‘if only’.
I could sneak into his office and destroy that hateful envelope, but I’d be compounding my dishonesty. I have to talk to him and explain my lies of omission. I must take the chance that maybe he’ll understand and that he’ll see how much I love him. I have to hope he’ll forgive.
“Kade,” she forced his name from her lips. “We need to talk.”
“We do, huh? Seems like that’s all I do when I’m sitting here beside you. When all I want to do is this.” And pulling her closer, he gently raised her face to his and pressed his lips against hers.
“And this.” He kissed her again and again, deepening each kiss, drinking her sweetness. “Aah, Hope,” he whispered. He trailed fiery little kisses down her throat and back up again to her face.
“It’s never the right time for us, but soon it will be. Gran’s coming home tomorrow. I have to get her settled, then nothing, and I mean nothing, will stop or get in the way of me telling you how I feel. Will you wait? Will you listen?”
He asked the questions, his heart beating too fast, anticipating her answer. The silence stretched. Why was she taking so long? Had he pushed too soon? Maybe she didn’t feel the same way. Damn.
Slowly, he got to his feet. It was too late to take back his words.
“Kade,” she tugged at his sleeve, stopping him.
“I’ll wait. I’ll listen, if you’ll do the same for me.”
Her response was puzzling. Of course, he’d do the same. Hadn’t he just showed her how he felt?
He placed his large hand over her slim one, covering it. “Why wouldn’t I?” Then with a voice so low Hope could have imagined his words, he said, “I’m falling in love with you, Hope.” And with that declaration echoing in the still night, he left her shaken and alone, thinking of, and dreading, the day when he’d rescind those words.
~ ~ ~
It had been two weeks since he’d sat beside Hope and told her how he felt. Gran had come home the next day, and all the quiet talks and evenings spent companionably discussing the boys and the day’s events had ended.
They were on their fourth nurse, and she was threatening to quit. Gran fired the first one, claiming she was too bossy. She fired the second because she was too slow. The third was let go because, “She bustles around like she owns the place.”
Their sweet-natured Gran had turned into a termagant. Little pleased her. The only glimpse of her true self was when the little Cool boys were sitting on her bed jabbering away about their day.
Caleb reminded her of a younger Kade, assuming the worries of the world, while Isaiah was a miniature Morgan, way too serious for his young age. Jesse, now Jesse was a different story. He was probably the neediest of the three. He was always afraid this dream bubble of a life would burst. He tried to work hard enough so that the Double K couldn’t do without him. He wanted to be indispensable, and thus guarantee a home for him and his brothers forever. Instead of assigning him chores, they had to remind him to lighten up, enjoy being fifteen, and enjoy the ranch and the security it offered.
Gran knew she was being a royal pain in the butt. She railed at how quickly she tired, her pain, and her helplessness with only one arm to serve her. And she hated the fatigue and worry lines on Kade’s face, put there by her injury and his new responsibilities.
She knew her oldest boy. And she knew he was in love with the gentle Hope. She also knew he could be unbending, especially when he felt deceived. Should she violate Hope’s confidence and tell him of the woman’s unfortunate and unfair past? No. She couldn’t do that. All she could do was make it from chair to bed and gripe about her darned arm.
“Ida, you awake?”
“Well, I am now,” she snapped.
“I thought we’d have a cup of tea together,” Hope said, placing the tray on the bedside table. “I want you to sample these oatmeal cookies I made and tell me why they turned out hard as a rock.”
Gran had to smile. Poor Hope. Cooking and baking wasn’t her strong point. The food was edible, but only just. The men and boys ate what she served, and what they could, without hurting her feelings. But later they brought out their secret stash of munchies, and the three men and three boys crowded into Kade’s office and filled up on the goodies, while openly discussing their last meal and Hope’s determined attempts.
“Let’s sit in the chairs by the window, Hope. I’m sick of this bed. At least sitting up I feel like I’m getting better.”
“But you are getting better, Ida. The therapist says you’re making great progress.”
“Well, it’s not quick enough,” she said in her new querulous voice. “I wonder if she knows what she’s doing. Maybe a different therapist.”
“Now, don’t start on the therapist. You know she’s good. Time’s your enemy. Another few weeks and you’ll see even more improvement.”
“Another few weeks and I’ll be a basket case. And,” a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, “so will all of you.”
Hope laughed. “Well, you are being a bit of a challenge. By the way, the nurse gave her notice.”
“Good. Clumsy woman. Couldn’t abide her in the room. She was rough, Hope. Pulled my arm too much when helping me dress.”
“Hmm. Probably because you scared her to death.”
“Now, Hope, don’t you start.”
“Of course not. Now, try a cookie. They’re a surprise for the fellas.” She watched hopefully as Gran tried to take a bite.
“They’ll be a surprise all right,” Gran mumbled as she attempted another bite.
The smile on Hope’s face fell. “I’ll never learn. I follow the recipes, and still nothing turns out right.”
Gran dunked the cookie in the hot tea and popped it in her mouth. “Not bad, Hope,” she said around the mouthful. “They’re good dunkers. I always have favored a solid dunker.”
“I might as well throw them out. At least the chickens are eating well.”
Gran took another bite of tea soaked cookie. “Good taste. A little dry. How much flour did you put in them?”
“Just what the recipe said. I did add a little more because I put in three eggs instead of the two it called for. The two were so small. I’d scrambled the larger eggs for breakfast. When I put the first pan of cookies in the oven, they ran together—one large runny cookie. So, I added more flour and,” she grimaced, “more oatmeal.”
“Honey, you have to follow the recipe.”
“You don’t.”
“I’ve been cooking and baking most of my life. I can just tell what’s needed by looking and smelling.”
“I’m hopeless.” Shoulder’s drooping, Hope took a sip of tea.
“Have the boys been complaining?”
“No, but there are sure a lot of leftovers.”
Gran chuckled. “Stick to your recipes, and keep an eye on what you cook.”
In a low voice Hope said, “Smelled the scorched eggs this morning?”
“Smelled and tasted ‘em.”
“Ida, we need to hire a cook.”
“Wouldn’t be a bad idea. Three boys and our active Maddy is quite enough for one person. You didn’t sign on for all that.”
“No. But I’m loving every minute of the day.”
“And the lanky owner of the Double K?”
Hope ducked her head, a crimson flush on her cheeks. “I’m afraid that, too,” she whispered.