CHAPTER 14
Everyone was ready to go by the time I got out of the shower, so I ran a dot of gel through my wet hair and threw on some clothes. The skinny jeans Braden had requested, a royal blue v-neck tee that showcased my new body, and steel-toe biker boots, all courtesy of Kage’s credit card back in Vegas. I tied my necklace back on and joined the others in the living room.
“I thought you guys wanted to party,” I said, feeling more energetic than I had in weeks. “Let’s go. I need a drink.”
I didn’t have to tell them twice. Everyone was stuffed into Braden’s car within sixty seconds, and we were on our way. The club was standing room only, but within minutes a group got up to leave, and we commandeered their table.
“I’m buying first round,” Braden announced, and we all stared at him.
“Did Hell freeze over or something?” I asked. “First you wanna act all concerned back at the apartment, and now you’re buying drinks. Did something happen to you over the summer? Because I don’t even feel like I know you.”
“Yeah, well the feeling is mutual.” He frowned, and for the first time I saw that maybe I actually mattered to Braden. He’d always seemed about ninety percent narcissist, ten percent decent guy. His caring side was something I’d never seen, even after three years of rooming with him.
Maybe I was actually the narcissist. I hadn’t given much thought to how my actions might affect the people I called friends. Hell, the only person I’d really been talking to over the past two weeks was Dr. Washburn, and most of our conversations had been strictly work-related.
He’d debriefed me on my Vegas experience, told me that my performance review from Mr. Santori had been “satisfactory,” but that Kage had emailed him a glowing letter of recommendation to be added to my file. I’d smiled and thanked Dr. Washburn, and after that it had all been about homework.
Twice he had asked me if everything was okay. I’d pasted on a big smile and assured him that it was.
I was getting good at pasting on that smile when I was cornered, and it didn’t get much more cornered than sitting at a table full of well-meaning people in the Collegiate when all I wanted to do was go home and read. Unfortunately, I knew I was in for hours of this torture. Braden ordered beers all around. I said I wasn’t in the mood to drink, then proceeded to finish every drop of my beer in under five minutes. Then Trey had the waitress set another in front of me. As soon as I’d drained that one, Miranda brought me another on her way back from the restroom.
Everyone besides Braden seemed wary of me, reluctant to speak more than a couple of words. I felt like the guest of honor at a leprosy fundraiser. Everyone wanted to help, but no one wanted to get too close. Layla was especially quiet, and I began to wonder what she had said to everyone. I also began to wonder why she was sitting next to Trey, and why they got up to dance when one of Layla’s favorite songs came on.
As they twisted and hopped around each other on the dance floor, I turned to Braden. “Am I missing something?”
Braden looked sheepish and took a deep pull from his beer bottle. “Yeah, I figured you would have noticed before now. If you’d come out of your room at all—”
“Layla and Trey?” I interrupted.
“Well, yeah. They’ve been talking for weeks.”
Miranda reached over and covered my hand with her own. “You’re not upset, are you, Jamie? We weren’t sure how you’d react.”
I couldn’t help it. I started to laugh.
“So this is why everyone has been tiptoeing around? You guys thought I’d find out my ex is dating my roommate and go all suicidal?”
Braden shrugged and smiled. “Or homicidal. I mean two exes in one week getting with another guy…”
I slid my hand out from under Miranda’s and finished off my third beer. Then I shook my head, watching Layla laughing and dancing with Trey. “They look happy,” I said. “She needs a real solid kind of guy, and that’s exactly what Trey is. They’re perfect for each other.”
“Really?” Miranda looked back and forth from the couple to me, as if trying to figure out what she was missing. “Most people would be a little pissed if their roommate went out with their ex, even if they weren’t still carrying a torch for them.”
“I’m not most people.” I waved at the waitress and indicated my empty beer bottle, then turned back to Miranda. “Layla didn’t think I’d be upset, did she?”
“Actually, no,” Miranda admitted. “She said you’d be cool with it, but the rest of us weren’t sure. You’ve been acting so distant. We thought it might be because of that.”
Braden said, “Jamie’s got a lot more on his mind than that.”
I chuckled, thinking what a messed up situation it was that I couldn’t confide in anyone about what was really bothering me. Everyone thought they knew, and the only person who had any idea what was going on with me was the actual ex I was pining away for in secret.
The waitress brought my fourth beer of the night, and I went to work on it. Layla and Trey made their way back to the table, their faces flushed, and I got up and motioned for Trey to follow me toward the door. Every eye at the table went wide, and all of the color drained out of Trey’s face. To his credit, he didn’t hesitate. Just got up and followed me.
When we were a safe distance from the table, I stopped and turned to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He flinched. “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I think you and Layla are good for each other. You have my blessing, so don’t worry about it, okay?”
Surprise and relief washed over his features, and he adjusted his glasses and smiled. “Seriously? You don’t care?”
“Not a bit,” I admitted. “In fact, I’m glad of it. I was worried she’d end up with some loser jock.”
When the two of us returned to the table, Trey was all puffed up and confident. I felt warm inside, probably because I was already a little tipsy. I held up my beer and looked around at the faces of my friends.
“To Layla and Trey,” I said. “I think it’s great.”
Everybody laughed, and Layla winked at me, acknowledging our secrets.
I was still nursing my fourth beer, trying hard to not get hammered, when I heard my name called. I glanced up and saw someone I hadn’t thought about in months.
Someone I recognized from the gym. Specifically, from the shower in the gym.
Cameron leaned across the table, smile blazing, looking even more handsome than the first time we’d met. “It’s been a while, Jamie.”
“Cameron. Hi. I’ve… uh… been out of town.”
“Riiight…” he drawled. Then he gave me a brazen once-over. “Jeez, you’re looking buff. I almost didn’t recognize you.”
“Thanks.” A blush crept over my cheeks. “I’ve been on a special workout, and I’m eating right now.”
“Well, you sure haven’t been eating in our kitchen,” Braden said. “We thought you were starving yourself.”
“I don’t eat at home,” I said simply.
I didn’t tell them that I actually ate at a little diner several blocks from the school, or that I was eating grilled chicken and green veggies and sweet potatoes, or that I’d found some expensive organic shakes that might actually pass muster with Kage. I may have been depressed, but I’d made a promise to him that I wouldn’t starve myself again, and I was going to keep that promise.
“Come show me that body,” Cameron said boldly, his sparkling smile still in place. “I want to compare what you look like now to what you looked like before. Maybe I can take some pointers.”
I pushed my chair back and slid out, glad to move that particular conversation far away from my friends. Nothing had happened with Cameron, but it sure felt like it had. Because I’d been thinking it, that’s why. I hadn’t been able to admit it at the time, with the nakedness and the water and the smell of Tom Ford body wash. But the attraction to him, to the whole idea of being with a guy, had been an elephant in the locker room with us that night. And it was all Kage’s fault, because the moment I’d met him, something cracked wide open in me. Something I knew I’d never be able to force shut again.
As I made my way around the table, I caught Layla’s gaze. She didn’t even try to disguise her suspicion. I just shoved my hands in my jeans pockets, ducked my head, and kept on moving. Cameron led me out to the parking lot and to his car, a sleek black Porsche.
Everything about him was sleek and sparkling. His blond hair, perfectly preppy clothes, the heavy gold watch that gleamed at his wrist. He really was great looking.
“Nice ride.” I ran my hand along the spoiler as I rounded the back.
“Get in,” he said as he climbed in behind the wheel.
“Wait, where are we going? I can’t just leave my roommates.”
“They’re busy. And from the looks of it, you were the fifth wheel. Am I right?”
“Well, when you put it that way… Yeah, I hadn’t really noticed, but I guess I was the fifth wheel.”
He laughed and cranked the car, and I slid into the passenger seat. “Since they’re busy, does that mean your place is empty?”
I stared at him, unsure of what to say. What was happening here?
“My roommate has a girl over,” Cameron explained. “That’s why I was out tonight.” He drove to the edge of the parking lot and stopped. Then he cut his eyes over at me and smiled. “Which way?”
“Right,” I said. Then I fired off a text. “Kage, please answer me. I really need to talk to you. It’s important.”
I guided Cameron all the way to my apartment, my conscience screaming inside my head for the duration of the drive. I don’t even know how I managed to hold up my end of the small talk. When we pulled into the driveway, I just sat there. It was my own place, and I didn’t even want to get out and go inside.
I checked my text messages and confirmed that Kage had still not replied. While I was sitting there frowning at my phone, Cameron came around and opened the door for me. To make matters worse, he reached in and pulled me out by the hand. It was seeming more like a date by the second. After almost two weeks of moping and being unsure and feeling unwanted, it felt good. And that was bad.
“Cam—”
He cut off my words with a kiss, pushing me gently against his car and draping his arms over my shoulders. I wanted to stop, but instead I leaned toward him and kissed him back. It was the first time I’d ever kissed a guy besides Kage, and it felt awful, like my insides were knotting up. I pushed him away and gave an embarrassed laugh.
I checked my texts again. Nothing.
Fuck.
He took me by the hand that wasn’t still clutching my phone like a lifeline, and he pulled me toward my apartment. I fished the key out of my pocket and unlocked the door. Then I led him to my room, because it didn’t feel right to be flaunting him in the living room, even if there was no one there to see him. The bedside lamp was the only one on, and it cast a romantic glow, making my room look more attractive than it did in the harsh overhead light. I was glad of that. Cameron probably lived in a penthouse suite or something.
Once we were in my room, Cameron pushed the door closed and locked it. He took my hand again and backed me toward the bed. Everything was happening so fast, I couldn’t react properly. One minute I was in a bar, the next I was being pushed down onto my bed and my shirt pulled up over my head.
“Oh, yeah,” Cameron breathed, running a hand down my abs. “You’ve definitely been eating right.”
“Wait.” I held my phone out between us, as if it could protect me. “Stop.”
“I’m sorry.” He backed away, still holding my shirt. “Am I moving too fast?”
“It’s more like I have a boyfriend.”
“Oh, shit.” He dropped my shirt like a hot potato and stuffed his hand into his pockets. “I’m sorry. God, I feel stupid. It’s just… When we met at the gym, I wanted to ask you out, but I was such a chickenshit. I had you right there in the shower beside me, and I just let you walk away. I told myself if I ever saw you again, I wouldn’t make the same mistake. Guess I just got a little carried away.”
I took a deep breath and fell back on the bed, feeling conspicuous without my shirt on. “This situation is so jacked up.”
“Yeah,” Cameron agreed. “Listen, I’ll go if you want me to. I can drive you back to the club.”
“No, don’t go. It’s not your fault I was giving mixed signals. I do find you attractive.” I checked my phone again. There was no text from Kage. “Dammit, why won’t he answer me?”
“Who?”
“My boyfriend. I’m trying to text him, and he won’t answer me. I don’t know what to do.”
Cameron sat down beside me on the bed. “Maybe he’s busy. I’m sure he’ll answer when he gets a chance.”
“You don’t understand,” I groaned. “I’ve been texting him for two weeks, and he won’t answer me.”
Cameron was silent, and I could tell he was thinking I was delusional. He was probably trying to figure out how to break it to me that if my boyfriend was ignoring me, he probably wasn’t my boyfriend anymore.
“I know what you’re thinking,” I said. “But I’d like to at least hear it from him before I get with someone else.”
“Do you want me to call and ask for permission to fuck you? Because I assure you I will.”
Even as distraught as I was, I couldn’t help laughing at that. “Even if you did, he wouldn’t answer. He hasn’t been answering my calls, either.”
“Maybe he’s blocked your number.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he bit his lip and winced. “Sorry. That was insensitive.”
“No, maybe you’re right.” I took a deep breath and decided to tell Cameron more than I’d told anyone. “Okay, here’s the deal. My boyfriend is sort of a celebrity.”
Cameron raised his eyebrows as if to say I was full of shit.
“No, really. I know that sounds pretentious, but I don’t mean it to be. I just want to be able to tell someone, because I’m gonna lose my mind if I don’t.”
Cameron nodded and gestured for me to proceed.
“My boyfriend is in the public eye, so we’ve had to keep things quiet, you know? Well, I was pretty much living with him all summer, but then I had to come back to school. I got on the plane two weeks ago, and I haven’t heard from him since. Then a few days ago I found out he’s supposedly been engaged to a girl for about a month.”
“Wow, that’s harsh. No offense, but why are you still calling him your boyfriend?”
Tears burned at the back of my eyes, but I willed them away. “Because he said to trust him. That was one of the last things he said to me before I left. We got tattoos of each other’s initials, and we had a ton of great sex, and he said trust him. What can I do?”
Cameron pulled his phone out of his pocket, and I watched as he punched in *67. “Give me his number,” he said.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m gonna find out if your number is blocked. If mine goes through, we know he’s got you blocked. I dialed star-sixty-seven, so he won’t be able to see who’s calling.”
I had to admit, especially in my half-inebriated state, it sounded like a good idea.
I gave him Kage’s number, and he entered it. Then he switched to speaker phone, and we listened to the ring tone. My heart was pounding. It rang five times, and then stopped.
“Hello?”
Kage’s voice. My heart stopped altogether.
“Hello?” Cameron said. I waved my arms wildly, silently begging him to stop, but he didn’t. “Hey, I was just wondering if you’d mind if I go out with Jamie.”
There was silence on the phone for a few tense seconds before Kage spoke again. His voice had taken on a darker tone.
“I dare you,” Kage said. “You think this is a game? Let me find out your dick has been anywhere near him, and I’ll give you gender reassignment surgery free of charge.”
Cameron and I just stared at each other with matching horrified expressions. Just when I thought Kage wasn’t there anymore, he spoke again. “Jamie, are you there?”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Then I heard a text notification on my phone. No pretending I wasn’t there after that dead giveaway, because he knew my notification tone by heart.
“Baby, I know you’re there,” he said quietly. “You’re fucking up, but I forgive you, okay? I’ve been very patient with you since you left for school. I know this is hard for you being apart, but it’s just for a little while longer. Just please don’t do something that will be harder to forgive.”
“I haven’t done anything,” I blurted. “Cameron’s just a friend.”
Cameron’s eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped open, and he looked like I’d just ratted him out to the cops. He made frantic slicing motions across his throat, the universal sign for cease and desist, but in this situation, it might be what Kage was going to do to him.
“Just a friend. That’s good.” Kage let out a pronounced sigh. “Do I need to ask you to trust me again?”
“Yes.” I should have said no, but I couldn’t. I needed to know that he still cared enough to ask.
“Please trust me,” he said, and the note of pleading in his voice sounded genuine.
“Okay.”
“Now…” His voice switched from gentle to menacing. “Am I going to have to hurt someone?”
“No, I’ll be good. When am I going to see you again?”
“Baby, I gotta go.” He clicked off and left me alone in my bedroom with Cameron, who looked a little freaked out.
“Dude, you told him my name. Are you insane?”
I fell back onto the bed and sighed, feeling like one of those girls in the movies right after the dreamy guy finally asks her out. What had happened to me? I’d gone from unapologetically commit-o-phobic to rom-com heroine in a few months’ time. It was pathetic, and it made me smile.
“Don’t worry about it, Cam. He won’t mess with you now that I explained that we’re just friends. He can be reasonable.”
“Yeah, because threatening to castrate someone is so reasonable. I don’t know why I was ever worried.”
I laughed, unable to sustain a negative thought in my head after hearing Kage’s voice.
“Who is he, anyway?” Cameron asked. “You said he was famous or something.”
“I can’t tell you who he is.”
“Oh, so I’m not even allowed to know who’s going to give me a sex change? That’s really fucked up. He could walk up to me on the street, and I’d be like, Hey, what’s up? Then he’d pull out a butcher knife, and bye-bye dick.”
“He’s not going to hurt you. He was just being jealous. You know how jealous boyfriends get.”
He huffed. “No, Jamie, I don’t. But if you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay. It’ll just be on your conscience if I lose my manhood for no reason.”
I could tell by Cameron’s tone that he didn’t actually believe Kage’s threat any more than I did. He was just trying to get me to spill the beans on my mysterious boyfriend. And I was tempted. I needed to share with someone.
“I’m not telling you, Cam.”
“Fine, but listen. You can trust me, okay? I have no desire to out anyone. I don’t care if he’s the President of the United States. I don’t care if it’s the biggest movie star in Hollywood. I would never tell your secret.”
I sighed, reached into my bedside table, and brought out the magazine with Kage and Vanessa on the cover. I tossed it onto the bed beside Cameron.
Cameron grinned. “He’s in this magazine?”
“He’s on the cover of it.”
When Cameron finally got over his shock and had stared at Kage for what felt like forty-five minutes, he said, “You’re shitting me.” I just looked at him.
He flipped through the entire article and memorized the details of every picture before handing the magazine back to me.
“Wow, he’s hot.”
I laughed. “Really? That’s all you’ve got to say? How about, Jamie you’ve really gotten in over your head with this one?”
“Nope, just pretty much he’s hot. That’s all I’ve got. It’s a bit overwhelming, and I must say a bit hard to believe.”
I punched him in the arm. “You think I’m lying?”
“No. But I wouldn’t put it past you to be messing with me.”
“Why would I do that? You just talked to him.”
“I just talked to someone.”
“Fuck you, Cameron. I just confided in you, and now you’re calling me a liar.”
“Not a liar. Just possibly a really devious prankster.”
“Oh, what an idiot I am. I have pictures of us together. Irrefutable proof.”
“Now you’re talking. Let me see.”
Cameron looked on over my shoulder as I opened my phone and saw the text notification I’d received while we’d been talking to Kage. I clicked on it out of habit, and what I saw there was very odd. There was no phone number associated with the text at all. The space where it would have been listed was blank.
I opened the text and discovered a link that contained mine and Kage’s names and what looked like a date. Maybe the text was from Kage after all. I clicked on it.
What came on the screen next defied all logic, and yet it was there. A clear, high-quality video of the first time Kage and I had slept together. It wasn’t the whole thing, only about a ten second snippet playing on a loop. But it was loud and raunchy and hot, and it put me right back in the moment.
“What the hell,” Cameron said, laughing. “A picture would have worked. Jesus.” He didn’t pull his eyes away from the screen, though. Neither one of us could. At that point, I didn’t even care that Cameron was in the room. I was only concerned with two things: reliving the hot scene, and wondering who had sent it.
Was this a message from Kage? Had he been secretly filming us the whole time?