Chapter Fourteen

 

 

The wind picks up, and Kenan guides me away from the gravestone.

I’m chilled to the bone and shocked to my core. My mind reels with the possibilities of how Ellonia died and why Kenan has decided to reveal where his first mate is buried. I hope and pray he didn’t kill her. Kleaxian males aren’t allowed to kill females, but perhaps being a prince makes him above the law.

If I learn he killed her, my heart will shatter beyond repair.

Despite all he’s done to me, I’ve never been able to hate him, and I don’t want to believe he’s that cruel and twisted.

We return to his estate, and he leads me to our bedroom, where I’m certain he’s going to hurt me. His mood is a black starless night, and I don’t think any amount of reasoning will penetrate his darkness.

He strips off my wet gown, leaving me naked and colder still.

“Do you think I killed her, Laylah?”

He tips my chin up and gives me no choice but to gaze into his eyes. Are they the eyes of a murderer? Well, yes. I’m certain he killed human males during the attack on the Stargazer. But killing a defenseless female is completely different. I can forgive him for defending his way of life and eradicating the human invaders, as he calls them, but I can’t forgive cold blooded murder.

“I…” Pausing, I try to step back, but he jerks me forward.

“Be honest. Do you think I killed her?”

“Kenan, please, I—”

“Answer the question!”

“Yes!” I should lie and say no, but the truth is, I think he got angry and beat his first wife to death one day. I think he’ll do the same to me, if I displease him enough. So I don’t lie to him because, if he senses I’m lying, he might hurt me worse than he already plans to. In my peripheral vision, I spy the belt on the floor, and a shudder winds through me.

He releases my chin and backs away. His eyes are sadder than I’ve ever seen, so sad I wonder if he might start crying. Even if he regrets killing Ellonia, and even if it was an accident, I can’t possibly forgive him such a violent and merciless act. A numbing sense of dread spreads over me, a shield to protect my heart from breaking. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to develop feelings for Kenan in the first place. He plucked me off a spaceship after conquering my people, considering me nothing but the spoils of war.

He stares out the window for several long moments, before finally turning to meet my gaze.

“I didn’t kill her, Laylah. We were bonded together. She was my mate and I loved her very much. But she kept disobeying my rule about not walking alone in the forest. Her childhood home was at the bottom of the mountain and there weren’t any dangers in the forest there, and she refused to listen when I spoke of the predators that lurked this high on the mountain.” He gestures to the outside. “The force field hasn’t always been around my house. It’s a new installation.”

“I-I’m so sorry, Kenan.”

God, I feel awful. For his loss and for thinking he murdered his mate. A mix of remorse and utter relief washes through me, and I lower my head as tears prick in my eyes. The numbing sense of dread has melted away, leaving my heart once again unprotected.

“It’s my fault she died, though. I should have punished her more severely the next-to-last time she went for a walk alone. There are bears and huge cats on the mountain. They rarely approach a Kleaxian male, and won’t approach people in groups, but they sometimes pose a threat to a lone female. Ellonia wasn’t much taller than you. It was early in the morning when I heard her screams all the way from town. A bear was attacking her, and though I managed to tear the beast off her and snap its neck, she died before I could rush her to a doctor.”

His eyes are so haunted and so desolate I move closer and capture his hands. I brush his hair from his face and try to think of the right thing to say. I’ve never been good at knowing what to say. After my brother died, I used to spend hours in my room, trying to think of the magic words that would make my mother stop crying. But I learned words can’t help ease grief, and neither can making wishes on stupid fucking stars, only time and quiet companionship can.

“So, you see, I can’t promise not to punish you harshly, Laylah. If I believe an especially severe punishment is warranted, then that’s the punishment you will receive. Your safety and wellbeing is important to me. I won’t lose you, Laylah. I won’t fail you the way I failed Ellonia.”

Though Kenan’s softly spoken declaration fills me with dread and sends my heart sinking to the floor, I at least understand his reasoning, and I don’t think he’s an absolute monster for issuing such a frightful promise. He actually believes he could have saved Ellonia if he’d beaten her harshly enough after she first disobeyed his orders. If he’d beaten enough fear into her.

Not for the first time, I wish I was wired like a Kleaxian female, perfectly used to being subservient to my mate and accepting of harsh punishments. Life on Tallia would be so much easier. My heart aches and I wonder if I’ll ever adapt to Kleaxian customs.

“Kenan, what happened to Ellonia isn’t your fault. It was an accident. You tried your best to save her.”

He stiffens and glares down at me. “If I’d given her a severe flogging the first time she went for a walk in the woods alone, instead of spanking her, perhaps she would still be alive.” He closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them, his pupils have dilated almost completely, a sight I haven’t beheld since the night he claimed me. “The human in me caused me to be too lenient with her. Though I’ve no specific ancestral memories from my human forefathers, I have a sense of what it is to be human. Humans are so much weaker and softer than Kleaxians. Compassion is a human weakness.”

“Kenan, you must remember that while you’re half-human, I’m all human. The thought of a spanking unnerves me, let alone a flogging so harsh it draws blood. Please understand I’m not Kleaxian. I know I’ll never see Earth again and I must strive to make the best of my life on Tallia, but I can’t flip a switch in my head and accept you have the right to beat me bloody, even if I gravely disobey you in some manner. I’ll never accept that, Kenan, and I won’t apologize for it.”

Backing away from him, I turn and slowly amble to the window. Like the wind, the drizzle permeates the force field. The cool, tiny droplets enter to caress my face and mingle with the wet warmth of my tears. I run a hand through my damp hair and turn to meet Kenan’s stone cold gaze.

“Do you know why I took you from the Stargazer, Laylah? Why I took you instead of another female?”

I give a small shake of my head. Anxiety quickens my pulse. We’re having a hell of a conversation, and I fear the outcome. What if he decides to demonstrate his seriousness and whips me until he draws blood? I shudder at the prospect and wrap my arms around my center.

Kenan crooks a finger at me, gesturing for me to come closer. Leaving the window, I return to stand in front of him. “Why did you take me?” My question escapes as the faintest whisper, barely audible over the breeze.

“When I looked upon you lying on the floor, the noise of the battle faded and I only saw you, something deep and primal inside me calling out to approach your petite form. Even before I turned you over and glimpsed your beauty, I felt tight in my chest thinking you might perish if I didn’t get you medical help soon.”

He grasps my hands and holds them to his chest. The coldness is long gone from his eyes. Instead, his gaze vibrates warmth, and the tension from moments ago is already melting away.

“I sensed you were meant to be my mate, Laylah. I raged inside at the thought of another male claiming you, and when I picked you up in my arms, so small and light, yet clinging to life like the stubborn girl you are, my heart felt full for the first time since…since Ellonia’s passing.”

My pulse quickens and I swallow hard, so overwhelmed by his confession that I can’t form a single word. Relief swarms my heart. He could’ve kept his reasons for taking me a secret, even Heggal couldn’t have shown me such a vision. But he’s professed and painted an intimate moment I had no hope of discovering on my own.

He has literally laid his heart bare before mine.

When he leans down to capture my lips, I don’t resist. His tongue delves into my mouth and he kisses me hard, possessively. I clutch onto him and kiss him back with the same sweeping force. I need him now, desperately crave a physical connection to seal the remaining fissures between us.

Pulling at his waistband, I try to remove his pants. When I fail to work the clasp open, I settle for pushing his shirt off. His muscles ripple with the movements of undressing, and he breaks the kiss long enough to strip his pants, boots, and tight underwear off.

I ache to feel his hugeness inside me, claiming me, making me his.

He doesn’t make me wait long. After carrying me to the bed, he spreads my legs and sinks deep into my pussy. I cry out in ecstasy when he starts thrusting in and out, holding my hips as he fucks me fast and hard. The sounds of primal mating fill the room, along with the scent of my growing arousal.

Part of me wants to believe Kenan will never truly hurt me. Part of me thinks he’ll never give me anything worse than a belt whipping, despite his threats otherwise. I sense the goodness in him and the turmoil of having the full ancestral memory of one race battling against the faint senses of another. It must be hell for him at times, and maybe I have a full-blown case of Stockholm Syndrome, but I’m so thankful he’s the male who carried me off the Stargazer, rather than a full blooded Kleaxian.

He claims me in a rough frenzy.

He’s never pounded into me so hard, but I welcome each quick thrust because it’s him—the very alien who threatened to kill a doctor if he didn’t save my life—and in this moment of dark truths, we need each other.

We climax at the same time, our lust detonating like a supernova on the edge of the galaxy. I moan as the wave of pleasure lifts me higher and higher, beyond the stars, and he emits his loud, Kleaxian growl that makes the air vibrate around us as his seed fills me up. He pulls out slowly and gathers me in his arms, and his gentle embrace calms the what ifs from racing through my mind.

Right now, in this endless moment, I’m safe in his arms.

His eyes glow with affection. I love it when he stares at me in this fashion, with pure tenderness in his otherworldly gaze. In times like this, I can pretend he’ll never hurt me.

Someone knocks, probably Heggal trying to deliver our breakfast, but Kenan orders him away.

I relish the blissful aftermath of our joining, but, as my strength returns, so do my worries about Kenan’s threats of severe punishment. He basically professed his love for me, but how can I ever love him in return when I must also fear his wrath?

The images of the beaten Kleaxian females haunt me when I close my eyes, and I still can’t fathom how they willingly display their markings in public.

Kenan sits up and urges me to get dressed again. I select a new, dry dress and meet him at the door. He’s wearing his trademark black pants and black shirt with cut-off sleeves. He told me once that’s how his soldiers dress, and those in the town wearing all black were his warriors, trained and ready to fight or keep order should the need arise, though he claimed there would be no fighting or trouble in the foreseeable future, now that the human males have been vanquished. Heggal had basically told me the same thing, on my first morning on Tallia.

We venture to the dining room, where a small spread awaits us on the table. The servants are nowhere to be seen, and we help ourselves to the prepared breakfast dishes. Kenan even allows me to take a sip from his steaming mug. Though it smells a bit like coffee, it’s a thousand times more bitter and doesn’t taste like anything I care to put in my mouth again.

He laughs as I gulp down two glasses of water to abate the awful taste. “Perhaps, the next time you’re naughty, I’ll make you drink a mug of ghea.”

I wrinkle my nose. “I think I’d prefer a spanking.” The moment I admit it, my face heats. The last time he threatened to spank me, when I’d been about to hurl water in his face, the warning had made everything below my waist achy and hot. But I know the curious excitement from a threat is likely different from actually enduring a spanking.

 

The rest of the day passes pleasantly enough. Kenan takes a hovercraft to a town in the foothills for several hours, and, in his absence, I walk the wide perimeter of his estate, within the barriers of the force field on the stone paths that connect the various patios, of course, and have a few interesting conversations with Heggal.

I decide he must be the bravest of the servants because none of the others attempt to speak with me through their telepathic touch, and most won’t even look me in the eye. By now, I’ve said hello and told them all my name, several times, but none have dared to respond.

Though I’m glad for Heggal’s company, I worry what will happen if Kenan discovers we’ve spoken. Heggal remains adamant I never tell my mate of our conversations, but what if he walks into a room when the servant is touching my arm and surmises what we’re about?

It’s a risk Heggal’s willing to take, or he wouldn’t have touched me in the first place, but I hope if Kenan ever discovers us talking, he won’t actually send Heggal away to work on another mountain. Just as I would be devastated if Joanna stopped visiting every other morning, as she has taken to habit, I would be heartbroken if I never saw Heggal again.

When Kenan returns from town, he carries a huge box off the hovercraft. I meet him on the patio and greet him with a kiss after he places the box down. He gathers me in his arms and kisses my forehead. A soft sigh leaves me and I breathe against his chest.

“What’s in the box?”

“A present for you, little human.”

I step back and eye the massive box, excitement building in my chest.