Chapter Nineteen

 

 

The next day I awake alone, which isn’t unusual. Kenan tends to visit the towns and check in with his soldiers as early as possible, sometimes before first light.

I stretch my legs beneath the soft sheets and languish in the warmth of the sunlight streaming through the window. Beyond the greenery of the mountain, there isn’t a cloud in the light-blue sky.

A servant knocks and delivers breakfast. I’m disappointed it’s not Heggal, but I still smile and thank the short, pale Ghessan whose name I don’t know. I suppose I should ask Heggal for the other servant’s names. Maybe if I call them by their names, they will finally speak with me.

After breakfast, I shower and don an orange gown with sheer silk layers. The skirts rustle around my legs like a gentle wave as I hurry down the steps. I’ll join Heggal in the garden until Kenan returns.

Tonight, two of the commanding soldiers in his troop are joining us for dinner, along with their mates. I’m excited by the prospect of entertaining guests, even if I won’t be able to understand their tongue. Kenan has promised I’ll eventually catch on to his language, but I’m starting to have my doubts. The syllables all run together into an unintelligible stream of deep, grunting noises.

Fortunately, a Kleaxian scientist on another continent is developing a translator that, if implanted in one’s brain, will allow a human to communicate with a Kleaxian. Kenan isn’t wild about the idea of me getting an implant in my brain, but I’d had difficulties in my required Spanish classes in high school. I barely passed them, in fact, and not for lack of trying. If not for high marks in all my other courses and the help of my father’s step uncle, I would’ve never had a shot at Harvard.

I spot Heggal moving through the garden toward the force field. He’s probably headed for the berry patch outside the invisible barrier. I run to catch up so I can bid him good morning. Before he crosses into the forest, one of his gloves fall from his pocket.

“Heggal! You dropped something, my friend!” I snatch up the glove and hold it out. “I wish I could pick berries with you this morning. It’s such a lovely day.”

He turns around with a smile. But that smile immediately vanishes and he pales further, to a deathly shade of white. I stare at him with wide eyes and my stomach drops to the ground.

Before I even peer over my shoulder, I know Kenan is standing behind me.

Watching. Listening.

Catching me as I disobey a rule.

My gaze locks with the furious dark eyes of my mate. That fierce, unforgiving look reduces me to a puddle of terror. Oh my God. He’s caught me speaking with a servant. For a reason he’s never explained to me, I’m not allowed to utter anything besides “come in” or “come back later” after a servant knocks. I’ve never thought about the reason for the rule much, other than he doesn’t want the servants touching me or getting inside my mind.

“Kenan, I…” My voice trails off.

He moves in front of me and grasps my chin. “How do you know his name, Laylah?”

Liquid fear churns through my insides. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kenan so angry. His eyes darken further with icy rage. My hands shake at my sides, and it’s all I can do not to collapse on the ground, my legs are trembling so.

“I-I don’t know,” I say. If I admit to having daily conversations with Heggal, the servant will be sent away. “I must have heard you call him by his name.”

The fingers pinching my chin squeeze tighter. His eyes narrow and his nostrils flare. The vein on the side of his thick neck bulges. He looks scarier than in the visions Heggal showed me, when he threatened to kill the doctor.

He’s caught me lying, and he’s none too pleased. I know I should’ve told the truth, but if there was any chance of not getting Heggal in trouble, I had to take it.

“How long have you been speaking with Heggal? Has he touched you every day?”

Tears cloud my vision and my heart beats a frantic rhythm inside my tightening chest.

He grabs my shoulders and shakes me hard. My teeth rattle together and I’m momentarily dizzy.

“He’s my friend!” I scream, clutching onto Kenan’s forearm. “He’s my friend, and you mustn’t send him away.”

He drags me onto the patio and shoves me into a chair. “Stay there and don’t fucking move. If you move from this chair, your beating will be so much worse than I’m already planning. I mean it. Don’t fucking move.”

Raw fury emanates from Kenan’s tensed muscular form. His eyes are livid, all black with rage and no hint of the bottomless purple depths I’ve come to love staring into.

Emotion has my throat clogged so strongly, I can only nod. I’m quaking so hard I doubt I would be able to move anyway.

Heggal doesn’t attempt to run away from Kenan, but in my mind I’m screaming for my friend to run into the forest and get far away. But he only bows his head slightly upon his master’s approach, looking adequately chastised. Kenan grabs him around his throat and drags him into the house.

I clutch the arms of the chair and sob.

What if Kenan doesn’t simply send Heggal away? What if Kenan hurts him, or, God forbid, kills him?

I don’t hear screams coming from the house, but then Heggal can’t utter the smallest noise, not even a gasp. I asked him once, and we had a good laugh over it. As I sit here and cry, guilt ridden for causing probable pain, or worse, to one of my only friends on Tallia, I can’t remember why it was funny. But I remember giggling and sensing the tickle on my brain as Heggal joined in my laughter.

All the vibrant colors of the forest fade to black and gray.

Covering my face as my sobs deepen, I don’t think I’ll ever laugh again, let alone smile. I’m going to lose Heggal, and Kenan is going to beat me. The image of the woman covered in bruises and with thin red welts from the town flashes in my conscious, as well as the picture of Katrina lying unconscious on the bed, her eyes swollen shut and the sheets stained red. Will he flog me bloody? Use his fists?

I jump when a hand closes over my shoulder. It’s Kenan, and he’s panting. Whatever he did to Heggal caused him to expend a great deal of energy. I send up a prayer for my gentle friend who didn’t deserve the violence visited upon him.

“Where’s Heggal? What have you done with him?”

He yanks me up by my hair and his lips brush across my ear. “Heggal’s condition is the least of your worries, little human. You not only disobeyed an order, but you lied to me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with speaking to a servant!” I scream. “He’s been kind to me. He’s showed me things. He showed me what happened after the attack on the Stargazer, when you carried me to a medical tent. He showed me how anxious you were over whether or not I’d live!”

The hand in my hair clenches, making my scalp burn. “Heggal wasn’t there. Anything he showed you could have been made up. His kind are great deceivers. It’s why they were conquered long ago and sold into slavery.”

“You threatened to kill the doctor if he didn’t save me! I saw it in my mind. Did that not really happen?”

He jerks my face toward his. His skin is dark-red and splotchy. I’ve never seen it this shade before.

“Yes,” he says, in a strangely quiet tone. “It did really happen. However, he wasn’t there to witness it with his own eyes. To possess that memory, he slid his mind into someone else’s. Someone else who was there that day. Probably one of my soldiers. He must have briefly touched the soldier who flew the hovercraft up the mountain after the attack. The man came inside for a while. But it’s no matter. I will send Heggal far away after he wakes up.”

His words make my blood run cold. “After he wakes up? My God, Kenan, what did you do?”

He doesn’t answer, but he finally releases me. I rub the back of my head, my scalp still screaming in pain. “Walk upstairs to our bedroom and strip off your dress. Kneel on the floor and await my arrival.”

“Kenan, please. I only lied to you now because Heggal is my friend, and he said if you found out we communicated you would send him to serve your relatives on a faraway mountain. Don’t send him away, please.”

“I should have beaten you harder that first time you disobeyed me, Laylah.” A cold darkness enters his livid gaze. “If I had beaten you harder, we wouldn’t be standing here having this conversation, and you wouldn’t have dared to lie to me.”

I shudder and try to retreat, but my legs are too weak to manage a single step. I know he’s seeing the ghost of his dead mate in my disobedience. He’s thinking if he doesn’t punish me badly, as severely as he should’ve punished her for taking unchaperoned walks in a forest full of bears and wildcats, I will one day meet a similar fate to Ellonia’s.

His fists clench at his sides and for a moment I think he’s going to knock me to the ground. But he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When his eyes open, he says, “Go to the bedroom now, Laylah. If I must ask again, I can’t promise I won’t drag you upstairs by your hair.”

I don’t remember walking to our bedroom, but I soon find myself standing in the middle of the room, divested of my dress. I’m in a nervous trance. I don’t want to accept this is my reality and I’m about to endure a terrible beating from Kenan. Hot tears stream down my face. If he makes me bleed, or covers me in bruises, or sends Heggal away, I’ll never forgive him. My world will remain forever dark.

Sorrow envelopes me so thickly each breath becomes a struggle. I feel like the woman in the calling song, though I’m mourning the loss of the mate I thought I had, rather than a death. All the happiness I’ve found on Tallia with Kenan has come to an end. The rest of my life will be cloaked in misery.

The echo of footsteps coming up the stairs sends me scrambling to the floor. I kneel and wait in horrible anticipation. Each heavy footfall makes me flinch. When the door slides open, I don’t dare look up.

Kenan’s strong presence fills the room. His boots pause in my vision, and my gaze travels up far enough to glimpse the implement he’s holding. I expected a long whip, but it’s short and looks flexible. Like a riding crop. I gulp.

Tension radiates from Kenan as he looms above me. I hear a clinking sound and, finally, I look up. Gleaming silver manacles hang from the ceiling. Our eyes meet, and my heart sinks at the firm look of resolution he’s wearing.

He isn’t going to change his mind, no matter how much I plead or fight. I might not be able to fight him—given his size and strength, what’s the point?—but I can still beg for leniency. I cling to a final thread of hope he will realize what he’s doing is wrong.

“Kenan, I beg you, please just spank me. I know I disobeyed you, and lied to you, but I’m so very sorry. Please don’t whip me with that.” I sound weepy and pathetic, but I feel even worse. My heart teeters on the edge of deep canyon, and if he locks the manacles around my wrists and takes the crop to my back, it’ll fall into the gorge and shatter into a thousand pieces.

“Heggal probably knows everything about you there is to know. All your secrets, all your happiness, and all your sorrows. A Kleaxian female would never dare touch a Ghessan, and I thought I’d made my orders clear enough the first time. I’m your mate, and I expect you to obey me when given a rule. That rule was given to protect you. I don’t want a Ghessan snooping around in your mind. If he has sinister plans, and, yes, a long time ago Ghessans tried to rebel against their Kleaxian masters, he could have gotten vital information from you, had I discussed any confidential Kleaxian matters with you. Had I known you were inclined to disobey this rule, I would have banished all Ghessans from our home.”

“Heggal is harmless, Kenan. I swear. He has a good heart.”

He gives a snort of derision. When I look down, he places the tip of the crop underneath my chin, forcing my gaze back to his. The implement is cool against my skin, and I shiver so hard I half-wonder if I’m going into shock.

“Have any of the other servants communicated with you?”

“No, they haven’t.” Time to be completely honest. “I’ve tried speaking with them all, and all but Heggal have ignored me. I swear I’m telling the truth.”

“Stand up.” His command is sharp.

“Don’t do this, Kenan, please. I beg you. Spank me instead.” I can hardly see through the flow of tears. “Or whip my breasts with one of your belts, please, Kenan.” I can’t believe what I’m asking for, or that I actually mean it.

When he lifts me up and locks my wrists in the manacles above my head, one at a time, my heart teeters closer to the precipitous edge of that canyon. I have to stand on my tiptoes, the manacles hang so high from the floor.

I’m stupid for loving Kenan. So fucking stupid. He’s a monster. He’s the big scary bad man from the movies who’s completely irredeemable, despite being occasionally charming. Monsters can be charming and beautiful. I know that now.

No matter how hard I fight, I’ll never be the brave heroine I used to believe I was. I’ll never escape him and save the day. Saving the day would mean making it back to Earth, with all the other taken human women at my side. And that’s impossible.

He pulls a contraption from his pocket that looks similar to the devices the doctor ran over me in the tent. Hovering it in front of my stomach, he crouches as he reads the device. When he stands up, he says, “You’re not with child right now. I didn’t think you were, since your aura should turn a darker blue if you get pregnant, but I had to make sure.”

I suck in deep breaths and pray for a miracle, pray for Kenan to have a change of heart, an epiphany that if he goes through with this, our relationship will be changed forever. Damaged beyond repair. There’s a flicker of regret in his eyes as he moves behind me, but before he disappears from my vision, the firm resolve returns.

“You’ll get twenty.”

“Are you going to make me bleed, Kenan?”

“You didn’t fear me enough to obey me, and now I must make sure you never, ever tell a lie again, Laylah, let alone deliberately break a rule.”

“Please,” I beg, one last time.

He doesn’t heed my sorrowful plea, and I hear the sickening whoosh of the crop before the line of fire spreads across my back. I scream, and then the world goes black.