Chapter 12
In the days which followed the Duke of Hillington’s visit to Dandridge Hall, Ella’s life took a distinct turn for the worst. When she had returned to the hall that late afternoon, tearstained and entirely upended by her impromptu meeting with the Duke, Ella had made her way directly upstairs to hide away in her own chamber.
She had washed and washed her face in a little cold water which remained in the bottom of the jug on the washstand until the swelling around her eyes had all but departed.
An hour before they were due to take dinner, Ella finally rose up from her bed where she had been laying staring at the ceiling for more than an hour and wondered what she would wear.
When there came a light tap at the door, she thought it would be Violet come to help her get ready.
“Come in,” she called out brightly, keen to see the young woman who seemed to be her only real friend.
“I just wondered where you had been all afternoon,” her mother said a little frostily as she entered the room.
“Oh dear, I thought you might be Violet.”
“I beg your pardon?” Her mother stopped dead on the spot.
“Forgive me, what I meant to say is that Violet is ordinarily on her way to me at this time. I had thought that you were she coming to get me ready for dinner, that is all.” Ella was furious.
How dare her mother march into her room with her feelings on display when she had treated her own daughter so very cruelly? Did the new Countess of Dandridge have no idea at all?
“Oh, I see. Well, she will not interrupt us. I have put her off.”
“Interrupt us?” Ella said cautiously. “Interrupt us in what, Mama?”
“In the little talk that you and I so desperately need to have.” Ariadne arched her eyebrows in a way which seemed to indicate that Ella, and Ella alone, was somehow at fault in all of this.
“Well, what is it that you have to say?”
“I wanted to talk to you about this afternoon. This afternoon at tea , I am sure you understand.”
“Yes, this afternoon when you dismissed me from the room as if I were a servant.”
“Ella, I did no such thing.” Her mother laughed lightly as if to cover up for her crime.
“That is exactly what you did. You sent me from the room in such an obvious and shameful manner that the Duke could not think anything other than I had been dismissed. Not only did you embarrass me, Mother, but you embarrassed yourself.”
“I will not be spoken to like that, young lady.”
“And is that it? Is that all you have in response to my accusation? Presumably, you have no plausible explanation for your appalling actions?”
“ My actions were not appalling, my dear. But your own, on the other hand …”
“My own?” Ella rose to her feet, her hands flying to her hips. “Please do tell me what it was that I did wrong that you needed to eject me from the room and humiliate me!”
“You were spending a little too long talking to the Duke, and you knew very well that his reason for being here today was not to see you, but to see your stepsisters.”
“I did not spend too long talking to the Duke, Mama, I simply responded to his questions. And I did not demand an introduction, even when your husband so rudely did not make one. It was the Duke’s own actions which sought to rectify his host’s poor manners, not mine.”
“Your stepfather merely forgot that you were there. It was a simple oversight.”
“A simple oversight? No, it was a nasty, insidious way of putting me very much on the outside of this family. He has done it before, and you have seen it, Mama. Why must you defend his actions?”
“Because he is my husband,” Ariadne said with an exasperated sigh.
“And I am your daughter! Does that count for so little?”
“You are just being dramatic, my dear.”
“No, this is not drama, Mama. This is hurt, this is sorrow.”
“Oh, for goodness sake,” Ariadne sounded as if she were at her wits’ end. “But you should not have made yourself so important this afternoon at tea.”
“Make myself important? And how, pray, did I do that?”
“By telling the Duke that you had been unwell.”
“And what was I supposed to say when he asked me why I did not attend the masquerade ball with my own family? Should I have simply told him the truth? Should I have said that my stepfather said I may not go because he was so intent that Patience and Georgiana be given a better chance of finding themselves wedded to the Duke? Should I have been as honest as that?”
“Your stepfather did no such thing.”
“Yes, he did, and you, as always, assisted him. You yourself said that it would overcomplicate things if I were there too; you know you did.”
“We would simply have been too large a party; that is all. And your recent determination to vex your stepfather had not helped in the matter. I did not want you causing problems of any kind at Hillington Hall.”
“When have you ever known me to cause problems anywhere? Why on earth would I?”
“Perhaps you would like the Duke for yourself?”
“I do not, but if I did, would it not be the done thing for my own mother to support it? Do you not want the best for me? Have you not always wanted me to be married away to a wonderful title and a fortune?”
“Oh, so now you decide that this is what you want.”
“No, I am simply pointing out your dreadful double standards, Mama. And I am also pointing out the fact that you have now decided to put Patience and Georgiana, two dreadful young women with appalling manners and no blood tie to you, above your own daughter. How could you? What would my father have said about this?”
“Oh, please do not bring him into all of this,” Ariadne scoffed. “It is his fault that you are as you are. I do not want to hear his name mentioned since he has left me with such a great problem.”
“I can hardly believe I am hearing this, even from a woman like you, Mama.”
“What exactly do you mean by that?”
“Well, you have never been particularly loving, but I would never have expected you to stoop so very low.”
“This is ridiculous; I cannot speak to you when you have no capacity for reason whatsoever,” her mother said and began to turn to leave the room.
“Ah, and now I know finally that I have hit a nerve. For why else would you be running away?”
“I am not running away, I just recognize the pointlessness of this conversation. You really need to have a good long think about what you have done and what you can do to repair it.”
“Then it will not take me long, Mama, for I know that I have done nothing wrong.”
“I will have your dinner sent up to your room this evening,” Ariadne said and continued towards the door.
“I would have expected nothing less,” Ella said with a somewhat unladylike snort. “After all, it is not as if you now see me as one of the family, is it? I wonder that you do not send me down to the cook so that I might eat at the servants’ table.”
“The way you are behaving, I am sorely tempted.” Ariadne turned and fixed her with a glare. “But I do think that it might be a good idea for you to take your meals in your room for a while.”
“It seems that I have played into your hands, Mama.”
“What exactly do you mean by that?”
Ella studied her mother for a moment, wondering if she had ever looked at her with quite that level of animosity before. It was true that Ariadne had never been warm, but she had always been dismissive and a little self-centered, not cruel and so very unjust.
But it seemed to Ella that life at Dandridge Hall was taking a little toll on her mother, as well as herself. Ariadne did not look quite as young and healthy as she had done before. There was darkness around her eyes, and her skin seemed just a little drier. As far as Ella could see, they were the signs of a sleepless night or two.
Ariadne was certainly well turned out, better than ever before, and that was the truth. She had not held back for a moment when spending her new husband’s money on gowns and all manner of adornments. In truth, she had been indulging herself in an almost shameless way since they had arrived. But perhaps that all came at a cost she could never have imagined.
Ariadne was having to keep her daughter down to keep her husband happy, and it seemed that her new husband was not quite so easy to please as he might have led her to believe in the days when he was courting her.
Well, if the new Countess was experiencing a little discomfort here and there along the way, Ella thought that it was nothing more than she was due.
“I think my comment very neatly brought you to take further steps to keep me on the outside of this family. So, I am to eat alone from now on, am I? I am to only eat in my own chamber?”
“No, you may take breakfast downstairs as normal since you always seem to be up before the rest of the household.”
“Oh good, then I will not be in anybody’s way, will I?”
“If you are intent upon feeling sorry for yourself, Ella, then I might just as well agree with you.”
“You might just as well agree with me, Mama, because it is true.”
“I have had enough of this now.” Ariadne turned her back on her daughter, and Ella could not help thinking that she had turned her back upon her in every way.
Ella did not say another word, she simply watched her mother glide out of the room with her exaggerated poise and elegance.
Once again, Ella climbed onto her bed and lay staring up at the ceiling. She did not cry, for there were no more tears left. She felt devastated nonetheless, devastated that her own mother seemed almost to wish that she did not exist.
As much as she did not care for the company of any of the household, to be excluded from sitting down and taking meals with them was something that she found peculiarly painful. She was to be denied their society unless she crossed their paths at any other time in the great hall. How dreadful life had become, and how very quickly.
In the days which followed, Ella forced herself to get used to her new routine. While she ate in her room as instructed, she did not spend too much time over it and did not stay seated afterward to aid her digestion.
Instead, Ella made sure that she always left the room immediately she had eaten and settled herself somewhere in the hall where she could not be ignored. She would not shrink and become invisible just because everybody around her silently demanded it.
At every opportunity, Ella made her way into the drawing room, not to particularly be in the company of her stepsisters or her mother and stepfather, but to let them know that she was alive. She might not have chosen to live in that dreadful mansion, but now that she was there, it was her home. She would not be confined, and she would not be made ashamed and so uncomfortable that she would hide away in her own chamber. No, she would be a silent thorn in their sides; ever-present.
And, wherever possible, Ella Winfield would make a little mischief. She would take adventure when it presented itself and, if her family continued to ignore her as they seemed to be doing, she was sure that she would get away with it.
After all, how could any of her adventures be known if nobody was looking at her? If nobody paid her an ounce of attention, maybe she could find a way to help herself. Maybe this signalled a freedom of sorts? Albeit a very different sort of freedom and one that she would not really have chosen for herself.
But still, she would have to make of life what she could, for it seemed certain now that she would never be introduced as part of the family at any evening events.
In fact, Ella was certain that she would never be invited; never welcome to partake of the joy and excitement that was her stepsisters’ by right.
And, while she had never given it a great deal of thought before, Ella realized that such sanctions would make it very difficult for her to find a suitable husband for herself, and therefore, a life elsewhere.
But she did not allow the idea that she would become an old maid and trapped within the dreadful walls of Dandridge to make her low; instead, it only made her more determined.