Chapter 31 - Zach

Harper’s knee is bouncing up and down as we sit in the waiting room for her name to be called. I’ve never seen her like this. My Harper, usually so poised and collected, is a nervous wreck. She spins her head around and I see a hint of true fear in her eyes. Her soft pink lips part and she takes a deep breath.

“Will you come into the room with me? You know, for moral support?” She takes another breath and her eyes mist up. “I know it’s pathetic, I’m sorry. You must think I’m ridiculous.”

I put my hand on her knee and it slows to a stop. “You’re not pathetic or ridiculous, Harper. Everyone needs a bit of help once in a while.”

She nods. I watch as her eyes dart from the hallway to the doctor’s offices, to the receptionist, to the other patients.

This is the woman who just led our team to deliver an extremely difficult and complex proposal under an incredible time crunch, and who did it without showing any hesitation. She’s got the respect of her peers and employees, and yet she’s afraid of a routine doctor’s appointment? It doesn’t add up. There must be something she’s not telling me. She must have had a bad experience, maybe when she was a kid.

After what seems like an eternity, Doctor MacDonald appears in the hallway. I’ve been coming to see him for the past ten years, and I don’t think he’s changed at all. His shock of white hair is still a bird’s nest on his head, and his wiry white eyebrows wiggle on top of his friendly blue eyes. If there was ever a doctor who gave off the Grandpa vibe, it’s Doctor Mac. I can’t think of a better man to take care of Harper, especially when she’s so nervous.

“Harper? Harper Anderson?” Doctor Mac calls out as he scans the waiting room. Harper jumps up and starts walking before turning towards me. She holds out her hand and I stand up slowly, taking it in mine. Her hand is cold and clammy.

“I hope you don’t mine if Zach comes in with me?” She asks. “I’m a bit nervous.”

“Not at all,” Doctor Mac says as he nods to me. “Good to see you again, Zachary.”

His office is just like any other. There’s an anatomy poster on the stark white walls, and jars of cotton balls and tongue depressors lined up on the counter. I sit down in a chair and Doctor Mac motions for Harper to sit on the blue plastic bed. The paper crunches as she sits down on top of it, and the doctor takes a seat at his computer. It’s cramped with three of us in the small room.

“Now,” he says in a smooth low voice, crossing his hands on his lap and turning towards her. “What seems to be the issue?”

Harper explains and the doctor keeps asking questions. Her hands are gripping the edge of the bed so hard her knuckles are turning white. I can see a vein in her neck pulsing as the blood pumps through. Her lips, usually full and pink with a beautiful soft curve, have turned into a thin line across her face.

All I want to do is sit next to her and put my arm around her. It kills me to see her like this. Finally Doctor Mac grabs a small jar from a drawer and takes it out of its sterile packaging.

“The bathroom is just down the hall to the left. If you can, fill it up to the line here,” he points to a line three quarters of the way up. “Otherwise just get as much as you can.”

Harper grabs the vial and nods.

“Good luck!” Doctor Mac says cheerily. I grin. He does have a gift for unwavering good humour. Harper glances at me before heading out the door. She closes it softly and I turn to Doctor Mac, who’s typing notes on his computer.

“Do you think it’s serious?”

“No way to tell,” he replies. He types a few more words and then presses one last button with a flourish before turning towards me. “But she’s walking and talking so I’d say she’s in fairly good shape.”

I chuckle. “I’ve never seen her so nervous!”

“Us doctors are a scary bunch!” He replies just as the door opens. Harper holds out the jar with her yellow urine in it. Looks like she was able to fill most of it up, and I silently tell her good job.

Doctor Mac snaps a blue latex glove onto his hand and grabs the jar. He slips it into a clear plastic bag and stands up.

“We can run a few tests right now, so if you don’t mind waiting five or ten minutes, I’ll be right back.”

“Sounds good, thanks Doctor,” Harper says, sitting back down on the examination table. Doctor Mac nods and slips out the door. I stand up and take a few steps until I’m standing in front of her. I put my hands on either side of her arms and give them a squeeze.

“It’ll be ok. He’s a great doctor.”

“Yeah he’s nice,” she says with a weak smile. “Sorry, I’ve just had bad experiences at the doctor and now they make me nervous.”

“I get it. I’m here for you.” She nods, and I continue. “You hear me, Harper? I’m here for you. I’ll take care of you, no matter what.”

Her eyes lift up to mine and I feel a surge of emotion in my chest. Butterflies crash around my ribcage and stomach as I watch the sparkle in her green eyes.

“You mean it?” She whispers. “You’ll take care of me?”

“Always.” I take a deep breath. “I care about you, Harper. More than I’ve cared about anyone in a long, long time.” Ever, maybe. “Plus, I’ve never had anyone tell me I have a cute man bum, and that’s worth hanging onto.”

She smiles and her eyes mist up. Her arms find my waist and she pulls me in closer. I hold her in my arms until her trembling body calms down. I stroke her head and place a soft kiss on her brown hair. Even when she’s nervous and sick, she still smells like roses.

With Harper in my arms in the doctor’s office, I know in my heart that I was telling the truth. I’ll do anything for her.