Cam’s mouth. That’s what I want on my clit instead of this vibrator.

More than his mouth. I want his hands and fingers. His teeth and tongue. I want to feel the crush of his weight on top of me. See the whisper of his eyelashes as he closes his eyes to kiss me. Hear the sounds he makes when he comes.

I want a lot.

But you can’t always get what you want. Wait, isn’t that what the Stones sang? I think so. Now, I’m singing it too. Another song to add to my karaoke list should I ever endeavor to try that again.

At least I can say that I have checked numbers one, two, four, seven, nine, and ten off my list. Oh, and Maggie agreed to let number eight slide.

1. Wear a bikini ✓
2. Have sex with someone you don’t know ✓
3. Fuck on the beach
4. Join the Mile High Club ✓
5. Get drunk and let someone else worry how you’re going to get home
6. Give a guy the best blow job of his life and make sure he knows it
7. Get a vibrator ✓
8. Don’t plan your day for the next thirty days
9. Take a nude selfie ✓
10. Read an erotic romance novel in public ✓

I’m counting the almosts.

Why not?

There are no rules about it, after all.

As for number nine, I took a nude selfie this morning. It’s on my iPhone. Not that I will ever be sharing it with anyone. That is a big, fat never.

List. Oh, list. I’m more than halfway there. And I already feel so much less uptight. It really is working.

My vibrator is working, too. Every single one of my nerve endings is on fire. I’m so close. Almost there. Almost. A little more. Just a little more. I push up the hem of my sundress. Adjust my stance. I already tried this naked on my bed. The outcome was dismal. I tried it in the shower, again to no avail. Now I’ve taken my panties off, I’ve got one leg up on my desk, and I’m going to town with this damn thing.

Okay, I must be doing something wrong because it’s now ten in the morning and still no orgasm.

Trying really hard to get in the zone, I almost topple over when “Like a Virgin” blares through my open window.

Turning the damn contraption off, I fly over to the window.

Oh, my God!

Cam is lying out in a lounge chair in his yard. Shirtless. Reading a book. Wait one minute. I open the screen to the window and lean out. Farther. A little farther still. Any more and I’ll be a pile of flesh on the rooftop of Maggie’s outdoor patio. Without cause, the small hot-pink device in my hand slips out, and down, down, down it goes, landing right in our backyard.

You have to be kidding me!

Not worried about that thing at the moment, I grab my phone and press camera. Needing to be certain, I zoom in and snap a picture. Backing away from the window before I lose anything else, I look at the photo.

Oh, my God is right.

Cam is reading Summer’s Ménage.

That bastard has my book and iPod from the plane.

What is he up to?

After washing my hands, I don’t waste another minute before I stomp over there to find out. Yes, I make a short pit stop and tuck the vibrator under the cushions of one of the lounge chairs. Never know if I might need it again.

“Raspberry Beret” is playing when I cross the threshold from the beach to the small square of grass in Cam’s backyard.

I feel a flush of heat at the sight of his bare chest.

Not the time for gawking.

With my hands on my hips, I clear my throat. “What are you doing?”

Shading his eyes, he peers up at me. “Oh, hey, Makayla, I thought I’d read a little before it gets too hot.”

Damn that quirk of his lips. It causes that swarm of butterflies in my belly to take flight every time. Needing to ignore my body’s reaction to Camden Waters, I narrow my gaze. “That is my book.” And then I circle my hand in the air as if the tunes could be seen. “And that music is from my playlist.”

Closing the book and setting it down, Cam sits up. Sitting like that, there is no ignoring that six-pack or his muscular thighs. “Yeah, you left them both on the plane. I brought them over yesterday to give them to you, but you were rather rushed. Since you were so busy and all, I thought I’d bring them by another day and then this morning, well, the mood struck me to read.”

Playing it sweet or I might just slap him, I smile and say, “You could have just left them on the counter for me.”

There’s a water bottle beside him, my iPod, and a Bluetooth speaker he is using to broadcast my Songs About Me playlist. He picks up the water and screws off the cap. “You know, I could have, but I didn’t think of it. Interesting song, by the way. What is it about it that made you want to add it to your list?”

Sure, I could snatch my things and go, but he is toying with me, playing a game, and I decide to play right back. “I always wanted to wear a raspberry beret…and nothing else.”

Choking on his water, he practically spits it out. “Come again?”

“I said,” I shout, “I always wanted to wear—”

“Got it,” Cam interrupts, and then he picks up the iPod and changes the song. “I think this one is one of my favorites,” he tells me, and “Black Coffee in Bed” now blares in his backyard.

Now completely bemused, I tsk, “Oh, right, that one. After Sebastian and I broke up, I went out with one of his friends.”

Cam harrumphs like he’s jealous. He can’t be jealous. “I thought you said you hadn’t had sex since you broke up with that asshole fiancé of yours?”

I can do this all day long. “Oh, I didn’t. That doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it, though. This playlist is more like a fantasy list about me, I suppose.”

Another change of song. This one lands on “Dance for You.” He makes absolutely no comment as he clicks to the next.

More than amused, I decide to take a seat. It’s not until I’m sitting down in the lounge chair beside him that I remember I’m not wearing panties. Oh, shit. Small detail that hopefully he won’t notice.

When “S&M” starts to play, I should be embarrassed at the sexuality in my song choices, but I’m way past that. And besides, at this point, all humor has disappeared from Cam’s demeanor, and it looks like he’s struggling to keep it together.

Good.

Before moving on to the next song, he turns it off and looks over at me. “Well, your taste in music is interesting, I can tell you that. Me, I’m more of a Doors, Kinks, Grateful Dead, Radiohead kind of guy.”

Grabbing my iPod, I scroll out of that playlist and find another. “I like those bands too.”

He moves to peer over my shoulder as I hit play on “Rockaway Beach.”

“The Ramones, now there’s a band for you.”

Feeling a little full of myself, I throw him a saucy look. “What can I say? I have it all.”

Smirking at me, he mumbles something under his breath that I don’t catch.

We smile at each other for a moment, me almost forgetting how badly he blew me off after he fucked me, and him, I don’t know what he is thinking.

“I should get going,” I tell him.

He opens the book that’s still on his lap. “Why don’t you stay for a few minutes and find out what Summer and company are up to?”

Considering he just shortened my current to-do list by two items since I no longer need to go to the bookstore or get a new iPod, I figure why not. “Sure, but when I leave here, that book is coming with me.”

“Only if you promise that you’ll only read it when I’m around.”

“What is this, a book club?” I laugh.

“It can be whatever you want it to be,” he answers in a much more serious tone than my own.

Still laughing, I look over at him. When I do, I see a guy a little lost in life, not the asshole I thought him to be after we had sex. Feeling that kindred spirit thing again, I let my animosity go. So what, we fucked? Who knows, maybe we’ll do it again. Maybe we won’t. Either way, my seatmate turned neighbor turned lover now wants to be my teacher and my book club partner. As long as I keep my head on straight and remember that’s all this is—fun—what do I have to lose?

Turning the music down, I sit on the lounge and pull my feet up, stretching them out and getting comfortable. “Sure, I’ll stay. Go ahead and read.”

Ooey, gooey caramel drips from his mouth. Not really, but I swear it might, his voice is that low, deep, and thick. “‘The summer was about pleasure. Not only for Summer, but also for the two men she was sharing it with. The day had been spent at the beach. No touching was the rule outside of the house. Everyone was filled with pent-up sexual tension by the time the evening arrived. That night a storm was batting against the windows. The electricity had gone out and candles lit the room. It was the perfect time for fun and games. As usual, Gabe found himself on his knees. Summer rather liked him that way. Submissive and in trouble, the two most perfect ingredients to get them all off.’”

Holy hotness. I can feel myself growing wet and worry it might show through my dress.

Cam’s voice doesn’t waver as he continues. “‘Gabe had tried to kiss Summer on the lips. That was simply not allowed. Punishment was necessary. He looked up at her as she wrapped the end of the silken rope first around one wrist, then the other. He smiled when she tugged it up and around his neck. And he looked down when she looped it around his already hard cock. As she tugged it, he seemed to drink in the pain. The sound of leather slapping skin wasn’t unfamiliar to him.’”

This book is beyond erotic. My girl parts are just as hot and bothered as I am. I find myself squirming.

Cam looks over at me and laughs a little. It sounds like syrup, smooth and sweet. “You okay?” he asks.

Squeezing my thighs together, I smile at him. “Super great.”

Almost nonchalantly, the hand not holding the book lowers and his fingertips tickle the bare skin of my thigh.

I draw in a breath.

He does the same and then continues. “‘When Summer finished her lashings against Gabe’s bare thighs, she slipped her finger in his mouth. He bit playfully. Summer immediately stood and took him hard by the chin to make him go still. She pulled his face toward Owen, making him watch what she was about to do. Owen was standing still in front of the bed as instructed. And as further punishment for Gabe, she ran her wet finger down Owen’s chest and circled the head of his erection, which was tapping his belly. Owen knew better than to make a sound unless told to. And because he followed the rules, he was rewarded. Summer moved her hands down to cup his balls, and then tugged. She knew Owen loved when she touched him like that.’”

Cam stops there.

My eyes are on his bare torso, that tattoo he has yet to tell me about, and I have yet to ask about, and the way it moves up and down faster and faster with each word.

This is dangerous. Reading something like this together.

Hormones are everywhere, whirling and swirling around us, pushing those sexual thoughts way past friendly. At this point, we may be outside, but it seems all the air is gone.

“Shit,” Cam says, “this is getting intense. I don’t think I could be in either of those guys’ shoes.”

Needing water, I pick up his bottle, using this opportunity to shift a little so his fingers are no longer touching me. “Mind?”

He shakes his head.

After taking a sip, I ask, “If you had to be one, though, whose shoes would you wear?”

Pondering it for a moment, he says, “I’ll tell you after a few more pages.”

“Why a few more pages?”

“Whichever guy gets laid first, that’s who she likes better. And that’s who I’d be.”

I laugh. “Okay, I follow your logic. I think its Owen.”

“And I think its Gabe.”

I scoot my chair closer so I can read along silently with him. “It’s the whole bad-boy-versus-good-boy thing here. You know that, right?”

The smirk that crosses his lips is almost too much for me to see.

“Get reading so we can find out,” I tell him, trying to pull myself together.

He chuckles the sexiest sound and it’s so close to my ear that I can’t help but shiver. “By the way,” he says, “tying anything around a guy’s dick, that is a big no.”

“Gabe deserved it. He broke the rules.”

“I don’t know if what he did was severe enough to invoke bondage. My balls hurt just thinking about that scene.”

Laughing, I nudge him in the side. “Come on, you have to see he wanted it; that’s why he did it.”

Cam shivers, even though the sun is warm and bright. “Agree to disagree,” he says. “I am almost afraid to see what he does next.”

Trying my hardest not to cozy up to him, I still find myself closer than I know I should be.

“‘Summer slowly strode over to the dresser in her garter belt and bra and after opening a drawer, she turned around. She had a present for Owen for his good behavior. One she’d never gifted a man before, but she wanted Owen to feel pleasure like he never had.’”

“See,” I shout, “she likes him more!”

“We don’t know that for sure. Maybe she only wants to keep him busy so she can fuck Gabe.”

“Just keep reading.” I sigh, feeling way too angsty over what is to come.

“‘With a glass plug…’” Cam chokes a little and readjusts his body on the lounge.

“You okay? Want me to read?” I offer with a smirk.

“No, I’m good,” he says.

Needing to find out, I ask, “Is she really going to do what I think she’s going to do?”

“Yeah, there’s a chance she might be going for the male G-spot, but who knows, maybe not.”

I raise a brow. “Prostate stimulation is supposed to feel really good, so I’ve heard.” Keeping a straight face is difficult, and a bit of laughter escapes my throat.

Shooting me the evil eye, he starts reading again. “‘With a glass plug in one hand and a bottle of lube in the other, Summer ordered Owen to lie on the bed.’”

Now, my laughter can’t be contained. Yep, Summer is going for prostate gland stimulation.

Suddenly, Cam pauses.

I look over at him.

“Oh Jesus Christ, if this is going where I think it’s going, that would be another big fat no. My ass is seizing up just thinking about what she’s about to do.”

“Come on, Cam, live a little—no harm in experimenting,” I say with an elbow nudge.

“Okay, good girl, I will have to remember to remind you of your words next time we get together and I break out the lube and glass dildo.”

My girl parts should be seizing up, too. They aren’t. Just the fact that he thinks there will be a next time makes me a little excited. And I wonder if he really does have a glass dildo… “Shut up and read, Cam.”

“I got you thinking,” he says, and goes on. “‘Gabe was still kneeling and could see everything from his position. Summer gave his rope a tug as she walked by. She had set the scene this way. She wanted Gabe to see her as she straddled Owen’s thighs. See her ease the plug inside Owen, see the way the curve pointed upward toward his belly. The base had a ring on it for rocking back and forth. Summer gave Owen a nod, allowing him to vocalize his pleasure, and then tugged on the ring once. He cried out in lustful moans and his cock thrust upward into empty air. Summer shifted. It wasn’t his turn just yet. She did, however, lead Owen’s hand to the ring and left him to use the plug for his own pleasure. He knew his cock would get attention soon and for now, he was fine with his present. Summer turned to Gabe and got on her knees in front of him. She called him a very bad boy. He grinned. She liked it when he grinned like that. Then she bent to lick the pre-cum off his erection. Once, twice, three times. Restraint didn’t come easy for Gabe, but he wanted her mouth around him more than he cared about anything else.’”

Right now the tingling between my thighs is so severe, I know if I had that vibrator, it would only need to be turned on for a second and I’d come.

Cam stops and wipes the sweat from his brow.

I can’t help but look up at him and stare at the sexy stubble so close to my mouth that I’d love to lick my tongue over it.

As if hearing my dirty thoughts, he scrubs at his jaw before he continues. “‘Summer never left anyone out and she wasn’t about to start. Both men were not allowed to fuck her pussy in the same night. She had her reasons. Reward and punishment—maybe. Maybe not. Untying Gabe, she tugged on his nipple ring and led him to the bed. After the day they’d had, she was hot for them both tonight. She gave Owen a choice. He could leave the plug in and she’d make him come with her mouth or he could remove it and use it for himself in the morning before returning it to her. Normally masturbation and orgasms were allowed only in her presence, but this was his gift. He chose to remove it. He knew tonight would bring a pleasure he couldn’t pass up. Very soon, Summer had a man in front of her and one behind her.’”

That makes Cam stop reading.

He’s breathing heavily.

So am I.

My eyes drop to his mouth.

Arousal shoots through me, and I glance away quickly, afraid he’ll catch sight of my desire. When I feel a little more composed, I turn back and find his eyes trained on my lips.

Noticing he’s been caught, he switches his stare back to the book.

My mouth parts at the thought of his lips touching mine. At the many kisses we shared and how good they were. And at the memory of the things we did to each other’s bodies.

Cam’s gaze rises to return to mine. “Okay, time for a break. What do you say we hit the water? Preferably really cold water.”

Unable to be close to him for another minute, I hurry to my feet, so full of lust that I worry I might leap on top of him at any moment. My voice is hoarse and weak when I grab my iPod and tell him no, that I can’t. That I have to go.

“Wait,” he calls, lifting the book.

“Keep it,” I tell him. “We’ll finish another time.”

“Makayla,” he calls, chasing after me.

I stop just before my feet hit the sand.

“Go out with me tonight.”

Every bone in my body wants to say yes. “I can’t. I have plans with Maggie and some of her friends to go to the Underground. You could come?” I suggest.

He shakes his head. “I hate clubs. I try to avoid them whenever I can. It’s bad enough when I’m in New York and my best friend drags me out. But how about tomorrow night?”

I lower my gaze, kicking myself for suggesting he come tonight only to have him blow me off. Deciding that keeping things between us the way they are is probably best. “I’m not sure what my plans are yet.”

He bends sideways until he meets my gaze with his.

I laugh out loud. “What are you doing?”

“Making you look at me.”

To straighten him up, I physically place my hands on his sides to move him. As soon as my palms touch his bare skin, electricity courses through my body. This is too much. The temptation is so bad. Quickly, I move him to an upright position and drop my hold.

“Okay, I am. Now what?” I ask him.

He tips my chin to look at him and I think of the way Summer tilted Gabe’s head. His touch is much gentler, though. Just the same, the touch is sizzling and too much to bear. “I want to take you out. I want a chance to explain myself to you. I owe you that much,” he tells me, sounding one hundred percent sincere.

Sincerity isn’t what I need. I shake my head. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“That’s not true.”

“Cam, you don’t.”

“Makayla, I do.”

“Cam, stop it. Let’s let it go and be friends.”

He steps closer to me. “I don’t think I can do that.”

With a low laugh, I step back. “It’s not just up to you,” I tell him and walk away.

Hope that wasn’t too bitchy. I really am working on it.

“Makayla, just talk to me.”

I can’t do that. I already had one week of wondering what the hell happened. I really shouldn’t put myself through another. Not right now. Not when I’m trying to get my life together. He’s obviously full of regrets and confusion. Neither is something I need in my life right now. Yet, in a way, I wonder if it is.

“I’m not giving up,” he calls.

I can’t help but smirk to myself.

Really, I’m not trying to play hard-to-get.

Shaking my ass, I keep moving. I know just where I’m headed. To get that damned vibrator I tucked under the lounge cushion and hope to God this time it works for me.

I glance back.

Sure enough, his eyes are glued to my swaying behind.

If he wants me, he’ll show up tonight.

And we’ll take it from there.

Or we won’t.