The Heart Chakra is the fourth of the seven primary chakras in the body. It represents our ability to love, the quality of our love, our past loves, and our future loves.

“There is no love without pain, for we wouldn’t know the beauty of one without the other.” I sat in my quilted leather chair, crossed my legs, and looked over the rim of my glasses at the man seated across from me.

He sighed, eased his broad shoulders back against the couch, and stretched out his arms. A rather open gesture for someone so jaded.

“That’s deep, Doc.”

I half smiled, set my legal pad across my thighs, and shifted forward to rest my elbows on my knees. “There is a natural yin and yang to all things in life. Love, pain, joy, grief. The universe organically seems to balance these things out.”

He huffed. “Oh yeah? And what does it say about my cheating wife?”

“What does it say to you?” I bit the inside of my cheek so I didn’t react the way my heart wanted to. I had been in the same position once. It hurt like hell. As this man’s therapist, though, I needed to sympathize with him, not empathize, or we’d both go down a dark, winding, jagged path of grief.

He scowled. “That she has it coming to her?”

“And you don’t believe that you leaving and walking away without so much as a discussion didn’t hurt her?”

“Not even close. She fucked my best friend.”

His words hit like a thousand tiny icicles across the bare skin of my arms. I swallowed against the dryness that suddenly took over my throat.

This is not your life, Moe. Don’t put too much of your own experiences into your response.

“That’s got to be hard to get past,” I voiced sympathetically.

“You could say that again.” Dave clenched his jaw and glanced over his shoulder. “I don’t even know why I’m here.”

That caught my attention. “Yes, you do.”

He shook his head and placed his fists on his knees. “How could I ever trust her again? My best friend.” Dave rubbed at his chin. The sound of his callused hands rubbing across his prickly jaw triggered an unwanted memory. Kyle used to rub his jaw in that exact same motion when he was hiding something. Turned out he hid a lot—the most unsettling of which was the long affair he had with my baby sister.

Moe, this is not about you. Let it go…

I inhaled and exhaled slowly, giving Dave and myself a minute to calm down.

“I thought maybe if I laid it all out there, you know, told all the gory details to a professional, I’d feel better.” Dave sneered and picked at his fingernail.

“And do you?”

He shook his head. “No. Not at all. I’m still angry. So angry. I’m not sure if I can ever get past her betrayal.” His jaw seemed to tighten when he continued. “Do you think it’s possible? To get over it, I mean?”

No. I didn’t, but I wanted to. I desperately wished my own circumstances were different. That I’d been different. Better somehow. A better wife. Mother. Friend to my husband. Then maybe he wouldn’t have left me high and dry. Perhaps my sister wouldn’t have looked like the perfect escape from a life he didn’t want. A woman he didn’t want. A child he couldn’t even look at.

I pushed down my own secret desires and plastered on a smile. I looked at Dave with as much generosity and compassion as I could muster, and lied. Lied, because in this instance, my job was to be objective. “I think anything is possible.”

Big. Fat. Lie.

After years in this line of work, I’d seen many cases of betrayal. Having gone through it myself made me feel like an expert on the subject. In my experiences, I’ve come to realize a person may forgive a transgression because of the love they have for the individual, but they never ever forget. I most certainly have not. Kyle leaving me the way he did still plagued my dreams. Sometimes I thought he might have taken a piece of my heart and destroyed it forever. If that was the case, I had a hole in my heart—one I wasn’t sure could ever allow me to truly love again.

My phone chimed, reminding me that our hour was up. Instead of a buzzer, I used soft tinkling bells. It wasn’t as jarring and didn’t have the same rushed effect for the client.

“Our time is up, Dave. I know this was your first session, but if you’d like to continue with me, I’d be happy to take you on as a client.”

“Do you think you can help me?” He stood up and clasped his hands in front of him.

I reached out a hand for him to shake. He took hold.

With truth in my statement and honor in my commitment, I responded, “Yes, I believe I can.”

Dave nodded, sighed, and ran his fingers through his brown hair. “Okay, so what’s next?”

At least he was eager to seek help. Who knew? Once we got into the reasons why his wife cheated and his feelings around it, perhaps there would be the option for reconciliation. For the first six months after Kyle left me, I held on to hope. Every situation is different. I still believed in love; I just wasn’t sure it would ever happen for me again.

“Just schedule your next appointment with my receptionist in the lobby. She’ll take care of you. And Dave?”

He stopped just as he grasped the doorknob.

“It gets easier over time. I promise.” And it did. Every day I found new ways to be happy. My daughter. Mila, my best friend and confidant, was another. And last, the yoga she introduced me to. My hobby. I had things in my life that gave me joy.

He closed his eyes in what looked like relief. “Thanks, Doc. See you in a week or two?”

I nodded. “Whatever you need. I’ll be here.”

Dave left and I gathered my things. My phone buzzed on top of my planner.

“Hey, crazy, we still on for dinner?” I asked.

“Of course. Dinner doesn’t make itself in my world,” Mila scoffed dramatically.

I laughed and held the phone closer to my ear while I put my legal pad and laptop into my briefcase. “Atlas coming? Lily wants to see PowPow.” I used the cutest of many nicknames my daughter had come up with for my best friend’s boyfriend. Just thinking of my love bug made me smile.

“Yep. Lily told me if PowPow didn’t come to dinner he could no longer be the Prince of Secret Garden Land. I reiterated this to Atlas, and the man practically teared up. Wuss.” Her voice was playful, and I loved the sound of it.

Ever since Mila and Atlas became an item last year, my best friend had been happier than I’d ever seen her. They still bickered like an old married couple, but it worked for them. Two feisty personalities could manage if there was mutual love and respect. One day, I had hoped for that for myself. Of course, that would mean I’d have to do more than work, take care of Lily, and go to yoga. I sighed knowing how unlikely it was I would put myself out there again.

Without a beat, I changed my focus back to my friend. “I’ll have to talk to Lily about empty threats.”

Mila chuckled. “I don’t know. She seems pretty serious. Aren’t you, honey?”

My girl hollered through the phone. “Hi, Mommy!”

I grinned, thinking about my daughter’s happy face. “Did Auntie surprise you and pick you up from daycare today?”

“Uh-huh, and she has a prize for me!”

“A surprise?” I added more inflection on the “sur” part so she’d hear the difference.

“’S’wat I said! A prize.”

I laughed and waved to my receptionist and Dave, who was still making his next appointment. The elevator dinged, and I hopped on. Luck was on my side tonight. Having an office on the twentieth floor of a building in downtown San Francisco usually meant waiting for an elevator.

“Yeah, well, she can’t have her sur-prize until after dinner,” Mila confirmed.

“Ah, Auntie bought you some sweet treats, I think.”

“Yay!” I heard Lily clapping wildly.

“See you at home. You have a key still, right?”

Mila made a gurgling sound through the line. “I only moved out last month, Moe. And I’m never giving my key back. Though I do have one for you for our pad,” Mila said with more happiness in her tone than I’d heard in a long time. It had taken the better part of a year for Atlas to get Mila to move in with him after their big blowup last year. Since she took over half ownership of the Second Chances Gallery his father and grandfather had owned before him and he went to work for the music label, life had been coming up roses for the two artists.

“Okay, well, make yourself at home. There’s white wine chilling in the fridge. It will go best with the chicken dish I’m making.”

“Oh, and I have a pretty exciting surprise for you too!” Mila taunted.

“Really?” I asked while stepping off the elevator and into the underground parking garage.

“Yep, and it’s going to blow your saccharine-sweet mind.”

“Please tell me Atlas proposed!” I squealed, wanting so much for my friend to take the ultimate plunge and put that man out of his misery.

“He does that almost every day since I moved in with him. I have a feeling a certain recent development is going to make it a lot harder for me to keep saying no.”

“No way! Seriously?” My heart started thumping a mile a minute. Last I heard, Mila would only marry Atlas once he knocked her up. From what I understood, they were technically not trying to get pregnant, but not preventing it either. Oh my God. My insides were jumping for joy in anticipation. I crossed my fingers.

“Are you?” Tears pricked the back of my eyes. “Mila…” I gasped and swallowed down the emotions clogging my throat.

“Just come home. We want to tell you together.” Her voice was loud and jovial, which meant I was probably right.

Chills raced up and down my spine, and a lightness filled me with such excitement I could hardly breathe. I wanted this for my friend. “Okay. Home. Thirty minutes if traffic is light.”

“See you then. And Moe, be safe.”

“I always am.” I clicked off the phone and walked in a daze to my car.

If my assumption was correct, Mila was about to tell me that she was pregnant with Atlas’s baby and they were getting married. Everything I could have ever hoped for my best friend was about to happen. Life could not get any better than this. For her.

“Stuck-up fucking cunt,” a voice growled from a dark corner behind my car.

I spun around and came face-to-face with a masked man. I could only make out two holes for his eyes and one for his mouth. My hands shook, and I dropped my keys as I backed up toward the center of the garage, closer to the light. That’s when I saw the knife. A small blade, about four or five inches. The man walked toward me as I scrambled back on too-high heels. Each step sounded louder than the last.

“What do you want?” I pointed to my purse that I’d also dropped when I saw the man. “I’ve got money and credit cards in my purse. A couple hundred dollars. And my keys. Take my car. Just leave me alone.” I put my hands up in front of me to show I wasn’t going to be stupid.

“You think you’re so smart. Rich and powerful. You’re nothing but a filthy, greedy bitch.”

“Wh-Wh-What do you want?” I backed up as he moved closer. The lights were directly overhead, and if anyone came down or drove up, they’d see me. Someone had to come. They just had to.

I stayed as calm as I could. “Please, just take whatever you want.”

“Oh, I will. I’m going to take your life. Then all that money will go to the right person. Not you and that little fucking beaker baby.”

Tears fell down my cheeks as the man advanced. His voice was familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it through the roar of fear. He growled his words as if to mask them the way he did his face.

The man lifted up the knife in all its heinous glory. “Time to die, bitch!”

At those words, I screamed, turned, and ran as fast as I could. My pencil skirt was tight around my legs. I pulled it up a few inches to gain more speed. It wasn’t enough.

With every step, he gained on me. “Run for your life. That’s right. Run, bitch, run. There’s nowhere you can go I won’t find you!” he roared before getting so close I heard the heavy gusts of air bursting past his lips.

I tried to zigzag, but it was too late. A searing pain ripped through me as the knife pierced just above my hip. He yanked upward, the blade slicing up my back and knocking against my upper shoulder blade. The entire right side of my body had caught the blade, and I roared out as I crumbled to the ground in a ball of agony. The wound felt like an intense fire licking along the entire side of my back. Before I could react, my attacker was on top of me, straddling my sides and crushing my hips into the pavement.

He dug a forceful hand into my hair and tugged my head back hard. As I tried to push myself up, blood poured down my back and onto my hand. I screamed, kicked, and pushed off the concrete, but nothing would get him off me.

That’s when I heard it. Laughter. He was laughing as he held me down. “Not so all-powerful now, are you, Monet…”

When he said my name, I knew who was hurting me.

Jesus. Lord no. Why?

“Kyle! Why are you doing this to me?” I pressed back, attempting to look at him and make eye contact, but my vision flickered in and out. Everything around me got darker around the edges.

He put the knife to my throat and dug the tip in. I cried out when I felt blood trickling down my neck.

My thoughts scattered. Lily. Kyle. Getting him off me. “Kyle, please, we have a daughter. Lily…”

“That beaker baby is not my daughter. Never was, never will be.” His voice was angry, violence seeping off his tongue with each word.

“You’re listed as the father on her birth certificate!” I groaned in pain, trying to remind him. We’d made that decision together. The two of us. I thought we’d wanted the same things, but no. He didn’t. He’d wanted a child of his own. One I wasn’t able to give him. But I wasn’t the problem. It was his ineffective sperm that weren’t capable of doing the job. I thought choosing donor sperm would settle the problem and bring us closer together. I had never been more wrong. It tore us apart beyond repair.

Kyle’s spittle hit the side of my face when he sneered against my cheek. “Which will only make it easier to take all the money when you’re dead and we put her up for adoption.”

“No!”

“Yes!” he growled, pulling my head back so hard my back bent unnaturally and I thought for sure he’d break my spine. “Any last words?”

“Go to hell.” I knew no matter what happened to me, Lily would end up with Mila and Atlas. She’d promised me when Kyle and I had divorced she’d be her guardian, and I had the legal papers in place to make it so. I knew Atlas and Mila would adopt her if the worst happened.

I’m so sorry, baby. Sorry to leave you.

“I’m already there,” he mocked as he sliced the knife along my neck.

Pain shot through my system like a lightning bolt.

“Hey! You! Get the fuck off her!” I heard a voice yell out like an angel’s call.

The knife left my throat and Kyle’s weight floated off my back. My head felt so heavy I couldn’t hold it up. I rested it on the concrete beneath me. Fire rippled along my back and down my neck.

Two strong arms lifted me up and turned me over. “Dr. Holland. Dr. Holland. Help is on the way.” I vaguely recognized that voice.

I opened my eyes as much as I could and saw Dave, my client. “Call Mila…” I said on a whisper. “Call Mila.”

“Okay, okay. Just stay with me. The paramedics are going to be here soon. Jesus, there’s a lot of blood. Where is it all coming from?” His voice shook, and I closed my eyes. “No, no, no. They say on TV to keep the person awake. Dr. Holland. Stay awake. Dr. Holland.” He patted the side of my face. “Please, don’t die.”

I blinked a few times and gripped his wrist as best I could. “Call Mila.”

“I will. I promise,” he spoke fast and loud.

“Has my daughter,” I whispered.

He nodded. “Okay, yes.”

Just then his head snapped up, and for a moment, I worried Kyle was back to finish me off.

“Thank fuck. The cops and ambulance are here. They’re here,” he said with unrestricted enthusiasm.

He lifted one of his arms and waved it above his head, jarring my side painfully. “Over here!” he screamed.

The paramedics got to me, and at some point I was shifted onto my side, and I felt hands working on my back.

“Oh my God. What did that fucker do to her?” Dave said from somewhere behind me.

“Ma’am. Where else are you hurt?” an unfamiliar voice asked.

“Back and neck. Knife,” I mumbled before everything went black.

---

“Wildcat, you can’t stay here all night,” I heard Atlas murmur as if I was in a dream.

“Oh, yes, I can. You take Lily home. Put her in bed with you so she’s not scared. I’m not leaving until Moe wakes up.” Mila’s voice was stern and direct.

I blinked a few times but couldn’t open my eyes fully. A groan slipped from my throat as the pain in my back ricocheted down every nerve ending.

“Moe.” I felt Mila’s small hand run along my bicep. “Moe, wake up.”

Again with the blinking. Darn, my lids felt like they had two-ton weights on them. Once I got them open, I looked into the worried chocolate-brown eyes of my best friend.

“So tired,” I mumbled.

Mila grabbed a cup of water with a straw and held it to my lips.

I sipped until the dryness in my throat cleared. Absolute heaven. “Thank you.”

Mila placed her hand on the side of my head and caressed my temple and hair soothingly. “You gave us quite a scare, Moe. What happened? All we know is that someone attacked you in the garage at your work.” A tear slipped down her face. Atlas put his hand on her shoulder.

“It was Kyle,” I croaked.

Mila’s lips went white and flat. “Kyle?” she sneered.

I coughed. Sparks of pain slashed down my back as I adjusted to a more comfortable spot on my side. “Yeah, he had a mask on, but I could tell by his voice.”

She shook her head. “Why? I uh…”

“He said something about wanting me dead for the money.”

“Money? He tried to kill you for money?”

I swallowed, and the severity of what happened finally hit me. My entire body started to tremble, and tears fell down my cheeks like waterfalls.

“What did I ever do to him?” I focused on my best friend.

Mila put her face close to mine. “Nothing. You did absolutely nothing but give him everything a wife could ever give. He’s a bastard and a lunatic, and now a criminal. Moe, he hurt you so bad.”

“How bad?” I flinched and felt aches all over, realizing I’d been here sedated a while. I knew he’d cut me pretty bad, but I’d survived. I would live another day, and right then that was all that mattered.

“Don’t worry about that now. You’re fine. They were actually able to stop the bleeding pretty quickly. You were only in the OR for a little over two hours.” She stroked my cheek with her thumb and wiped away the tears as they fell. I couldn’t control them.

“Tell me everything now, Mila. Please.”

Mila let out a long breath.

“The doctor will go over it with you when he comes back. You had to have some internal stitches that will dissolve naturally, but, um, you have eighty or so in your back and another twelve in the wound on your neck. He didn’t hit any organs, but the slice up your back is pretty gnarly. If that client of yours hadn’t come upon you…” She choked on a sob. “Moe, you’re the only family I have besides Atlas. I can’t lose you.”

Mila pressed her forehead against mine, and together we cried. The evening’s events started coming to me in flashes of memory.

Kyle in a mask approaching me.

The light hitting the knife and reflecting off its shiny surface.

Kyle’s words so vile.

“You’re nothing but a filthy, greedy bitch.”

“That beaker baby is not my daughter. Never was, never will be.”

“Take all the money and put her up for adoption when you’re dead.”

“What happens now?” I asked Mila.

Atlas placed a hand on my lower leg near my foot and rubbed from ankle to knee. “We take care of you and Lily. That bastard is never going to get to you with me around.”

A knock on the door broke through our little huddle, and two men in suits walked in.

Atlas turned around, stood in front of me, and crossed his arms, making sure to show his brawn. I tried to smile at his possessive move but couldn’t through the pounding ache throbbing everywhere. Even my feet hurt, and nothing had happened to them.

“Who are you and what do you want?” he demanded.

“We need a few words with the victim.” One of the men looked down at a notepad. “A Ms. Holland?”

“That’s Dr. Monet Holland, and I think she’s dealt with enough tonight. Don’t you?” Mila stood up next to Atlas, creating a wall in front of the men.

“We understand, but when it comes to these types of attacks, it’s best to get the victim’s statement when it’s as fresh as possible.”

Victim.

That was what I was now. A victim.

“It’s fine, guys. I’ll be okay.” I’d rather get it over with. “Give me a few minutes, gentlemen.” I gestured to the detectives. The two men nodded and made their way out of the room.

I grabbed Mila’s wrist. “Who has Lily?”

“Uh, we had to move quick, and I was with a friend when Mila called,” Atlas answered while rubbing at the back of his neck.

“A friend?” I queried.

“Yeah, Clay.”

“Clayton Hart has my daughter?” I was unable to mask the shock in my voice.

Atlas looked down and away sheepishly. “He’s reputable.”

“That may be, but he’s never met her. Wasn’t she scared?” My goodness, my poor baby with a man she’d never met as her aunt and uncle left her to see her mom in the hospital. This was so messed up.

“Nope. It was the weirdest thing. I introduced her, and they stood in front of one another, squaring off, and then she grabbed his hand and asked if he liked secret gardens.”

I closed my eyes.

“What can I say? Lily’s easy to love.” Atlas shrugged.

“Yes, she is. Can you please go relieve him and send my thanks?” I asked Atlas.

Atlas nodded. “Come on, baby.”

Mila tugged her hand out of his. “No way. I’m not leaving the hospital until Moe leaves.”

“Wildcat,” he growled in what could only be taken as a warning. A man who didn’t want to be separated from his woman. Lovely to witness.

“Curly, back off. This is my sister, lying in a hospital bed, skewered like a fish on a hook, with detectives staring at her. And let’s not forget. She almost died. Died! I’m staying.” Her face turned red and she fisted her hands at her sides.

Atlas lifted up her fists, smoothed out her fingers, and kissed each hand. “I’ll be back in the morning with Lily and breakfast for both of you. Try to get some rest.” He shifted forward and pecked her on the lips, and then he kissed his fingertips and placed them over her stomach.

I knew it.

The two men entered as Atlas made his way out the door. “Dr. Holland, can we please ask you a few questions now? Then we’ll be out of your hair and you can rest.”

I sighed and sank back into the pillow. “I’m ready. Let’s get this over with.”