To have a healthy heart, you must allow any suppressed emotions to surface and heal. Ultimately, you need to have love for yourself in order to feel real love for others.

“Beautiful, I’m hitting the gym. You and Matisse okay with Lily alone?” Clayton curled a hand around my waist from behind.

I had just latched my hoop earring in one ear and was working on the next. “Of course. It’s been a full three weeks now since anyone has heard anything from Kyle. Matisse had even started talking about going home. I told her I’d have your security guy put a system in place at her house too if that would make her more comfortable. I also offered to help her move out of her current place and into something else.” Personally, I hoped for the latter. Leaving a place Kyle knew about was the smarter move. Alas, it would be her choice, and I didn’t intend to push her one way or the other.

“Yeah? What’d she say about that?” Clayton ran a hand through the spikes of his hair. It was getting longer on top, and he needed a haircut.

“Said she’d consider it and weigh her options.”

He nodded, found his gel, put a dime-sized drop in his hand, and ran it through his spikes so they’d stand up more fully.

I watched with interest as he styled his hair. “Why do you get all pretty before going to the gym?” I asked, pressing a hip against the vanity while giving my man a full onceover.

He’d worn his usual track pants—this pair with two stripes running down the sides. Covering his cut chest was a matching black ribbed tank and nothing else. Though he did have a zip-up tossed on the counter near him, I knew he’d be taking it off within minutes of entering the gym, showing off the toned body he worked so hard for.

Clayton caught my gaze in the mirror. “Why? You jealous I’m looking super fly to work out? Worried about the cardio bunnies?” He plastered on an innocent expression.

“Cardio bunnies? What the hell is that?” The words flew from my mouth without a filter. Now he’d know I was jealous. Busted.

He grinned, quickly tugged me to him with one arm around my waist, and smashed me up against his long, hard frame. “Cardio bunnies are the chicks that spend day after day at the gym only working on cardio and nothing else. Sometimes, they are using it to scope out a target of the male variety.” He waggled his eyebrows.

I scowled. “Really? And would you be taking them up on that offer?”

His playful smile turned into a grimace. “You know I get my ass to the gym and home as fast as possible when there’s you to come home to. Besides, I got all the woman I can handle, and I like my handfuls.” He proved this by cupping my left ass cheek in one hand and my right breast in the other. His skillful hand swiped a thumb across my nipple, which instantly made me melt in his arms.

“There’s my sweet, sexy woman. Now, we’ll pick this back up when I return. Yeah?” He clenched the goods one more time and kissed me soundly. So soundly I’d practically forgotten my name by the time he pulled away. His kisses were mind-bending every time.

“Hmpfh.” I grabbed a brush and pulled it through the tangles in my hair. “You need a haircut. Do you want me to make an appointment for you with Viv?” Genevieve was one of the Lotus House teachers, but she also owned and operated her own hair salon, which our crew took advantage of. She did the best work, but it was also nice to support a friend.

Clayton checked out his hair in the mirror. “Could use a cut. Yeah, beautiful, that would be cool if you could. See what she’s got available and just text me the date and time. I could take the queen for a trim if you think she needs it. Viv usually has Will in the playroom next to her chair, and I’m sure Lily would like to play with him.”

Leave it to my man to not only think about my daughter possibly needing a haircut but wanting to bring her to one of our friends because they have a child she could play with.

“You just want to show off your queen.” I pointed the brush at his reflection in the mirror.

He grinned, pecked me on the side of my mouth, and nuzzled my nose. “I am the king.” He winked, smacked me on the ass, and left the bathroom. He hollered out over his shoulder, “Be back in a couple hours.”

“I’ll make dinner!” I yelled out.

“Sounds good. Love you.”

“Love you too!”

I finished getting ready, taking my time to curl my hair just so. I wanted to drive my man’s mind away from any cardio bunnies when he arrived home later. About fifteen minutes later I made my way into the kitchen, looking for Lily and Matisse. I hadn’t heard from my girl, and she was not usually quiet.

The second I entered the kitchen, I knew it had all gone to hell. A person can plan for and anticipate the worst, but when it came knocking at the door, or in this case, was sitting in the living room, all that planning went to the wayside. I knew in an instant that I was wholly unprepared.

Sitting in the one cozy chair in the living area off the kitchen was none other than my ex-husband, Kyle. Only, he wasn’t alone. He had Lily on his lap with a knife pointed at her neck.

Oh please, God. No. Not my baby.

“Mommy…” she said in a broken, frightened voice.

Everything in my world narrowed down to one focus. This small space. Matisse sitting opposite Kyle on the couch, her legs bouncing up and down nervously. Her fingers twisting in her lap. The TV had a cartoon playing on it. Dora the Explorer, I think. The clock on the wall dinged loudly, announcing it was four o’clock in the afternoon. Clayton had just left fifteen minutes ago. He wouldn’t be home for at least two hours. If I went for the phone to call for help, Kyle would kill my daughter.

“I suspect you’ve deduced how bad this situation is by now.” Kyle spat his venom-coated words.

Now was not the time to freak out. I had to be smart. Find a way out of this. For Lily.

“How did you get in here?” I clenched my teeth tight, trying to think of a way out of this for all of us.

He huffed and glanced at Matisse. “Walked right through the front door, didn’t I, Matisse?”

Matisse glanced down at her lap. I couldn’t tell if she was being submissive to him or hiding her shame.

“Mommy,” Lily cried again and wiggled.

“Baby, don’t move. It’s going to be okay. Kyle. Let her go,” I ground out through my teeth. Tears pricked at my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. Wouldn’t. I was scared out of my mind, but this bastard wasn’t going to see that. Not in front of my daughter.

Still, fear like no other slammed over my body as if an entire vat of acid had been poured on me. My fight-or-flight instincts were pumping wildly under the surface, but it was nothing compared to my mothering instinct raging like a tornado of energy in the room. I locked eyes with Kyle. I sent over hate, disgust, and retribution in my gaze.

“Let. Her. Go,” I warned again.

“Or what, Monet? What are you going to do about it? It seems that I’m the one who holds all the cards here. Isn’t that right, baby?” He grinned evilly and glanced at Matisse.

I focused on my sister when she said, “Yeah, that’s right.” Her entire body shifted, and a calm seemed to have settled over her. No more bouncing of the legs, twisting of fingers. Oh no, Matisse had put on a mighty act. Her best performance yet. And I’d fallen for it. Her dark eyes lifted and locked on mine, her lips turning into a sinister smile.

“Why?” I gasped, not being able to contain this level of betrayal.

She tipped her head back and laughed. The sound bounced off the walls and pierced my ears. Lily cried out.

“Mommy… I want my Mommy.” Lily tried to kick off her captor’s legs, but he held strong.

My heart practically exploded in my chest with the need to go to her. “Baby, don’t move,” I urged again and fell to my knees, barely catching myself with my hands.

“Why are you doing this to me? We took care of you. Took you in!” I demanded, my anger barreling to the surface needing a target.

Again, Matisse laughed and shook her head. “You’ve always had it all. Beauty, brains, money. And you took it all for granted. Our father chose to be with your family. Hid us away for years. Years!” Her voice rose to a screech as she proceeded. “Until my mother gasped her last breath, he chose you and your mother. Then, of course, your mom just offed herself like the weak fucking bitch she was.”

I wanted to cry, lash out. I trembled with the anxious energy to do just that, but I couldn’t. Show no fear. Don’t give them anything more to use against you. I had to figure out a way to get Lily away from Kyle.

“He hurt you. Cut you like he did me. Raped you!” I desperately tried to remind her of the attack she suffered three weeks earlier.

Never in all my days would I forget the look on her face as she smiled, looking like a villain from a horror movie.

“Kyle would never hurt me.” She thrust both arms out so I could see her forearms almost perfectly healed, barely a line to see. Nothing like the knifing I’d suffered.

“I did this to myself with a steak knife, not the hunting knife he’s got held to your daughter’s throat.” She grinned. “And the rape?” She scoffed. “Never happened. Just a hot round of hard fucking with a little breath-play action, and voilà! You got a certifiable rape.”

I couldn’t stomach one more word from Matisse, so I sat back on my heels and addressed my ex-husband, hoping to find some shred of decency. “Kyle, why not let Lily go play in her room. Do what you want with me. Just let her go. You don’t want to hurt a child.”

He scoffed. “You don’t know what I want.” He pulled Lily up into a standing position. I pushed forward and tried to reach out to grab her, but he pulled her away by the collar of her footed pajamas. She cried out, and I bit into my lip so hard the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth.

Kyle dragged my daughter close to me but not enough so I could reach her. Her eyes were beyond frightened and her lip quivered in fear.

“What I want, Monet, is to hurt you. Repeatedly, until you beg me to stop. Hurting her will do that. Besides, she and that steroid junky you’ve got living here seem to be your two soft spots.” He twisted his lips into a maniacal sneer.

I got up on my knees and put my hands into a prayer position. “Kyle, this is me, begging you to let her go. Take me. Leave her here. Do whatever you have to do, but just leave her behind.”

He shoved my daughter into Matisse’s arms before getting up in my face. “I don’t think you understand. If she’s alive…” he whispered, his eyes black holes of nothingness, “then she gets the money. If you’re both dead, the money goes to Matisse, your next of kin.”

Money. This was all about the fucking money. Money that wasn’t even theirs.

“I’ll give you whatever you want. Take me to the bank right now. I’ll withdraw whatever you want. You don’t have to do this. Please. Kyle. You loved me once. I know you did. Please, please…just let my daughter go!” I begged.

Smack! An explosion of pain struck my cheek as Kyle punched me. “Shut the fuck up! Jesus Christ, I don’t remember you being this chatty.” He pressed his finger and thumb into his temples. “I need to think!”

“You need to think about letting my girls go before I kill you with my bare hands,” came the rumbling deep voice I woke to every morning, fell asleep to every night, and kissed quiet every day.

Clayton stood at the edge of the room with his eyes zeroed on Kyle, his chest moving with his breathing as if he’d run a mile. Each of his fists were locked tight and ready for some serious damage. Clayton was beyond angry. The veins on his forearms and neck stood out beneath his otherwise smooth, tanned skin. He held his lips into a tight white curl, nostrils flared. This man was two hundred and thirty pounds of solid muscle ready to stampede my ex into oblivion.

Kyle’s eyes widened when he saw Clay, as did my own. I wanted to jump for joy but kept calm as I moved slowly to stand. Once I got on my feet, Clay’s arm wrenched out and shoved me behind him.

“Forgot my gym bag. Thank fuck,” he said below his breath as I closed in on his back. I squeezed his biceps in gratitude and silently thanked the good Lord above for this gift.

Clayton’s voice rose loud in the room as he addressed Kyle again. “You think for a second you can come into my home, put your hands on my kid and my woman, and threaten their lives?” he growled, his timber so threatening I was scared. For Kyle. My man would and could kill him with his bare hands.

Matisse’s hands shook where she held on to Lily. My sweet baby was quiet, her eyes glued to Clayton. Her savior and mine. At least I hoped so. Right now, he was the only way we were going to get out of this situation alive.

“You think because you work out and inject your muscles full of ’roids, that makes you somehow stronger and smarter than me?” Kyle spat out.

Clayton didn’t take the bait or respond to the attempted blow. “Put down the knife. Let’s go head to head. Man to man.” He lifted an arm and waved his hand as if to say, bring it on.

Kyle snickered, moved quicker than I thought possible, and grabbed my daughter from Matisse’s hold, tugging her in front of him. Clayton got a step closer but not enough to get to her first.

That’s when the tears came. Big fat drops sliding silently down my cheeks. I knew, regardless of the outcome, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything happened to her or the man I was head over heels in love with.

I watched as Matisse shifted behind Kyle.

“What are you going to do now? Huh, boy?” Kyle taunted.

While he focused on Clay, I reached into my back pocket where I had my phone. I couldn’t let on what I was doing, but I hoped like hell I could hit the right buttons to call the police, or at the very least, someone who would pick up and hear the call. Using my thumb, I felt for the right spot and was pretty sure I got it. I glanced over my shoulder, easing more fully behind Clayton so they couldn’t see what I was doing. I punched the nine and the one and one as fast as I could and just left the line open.

When I thought for sure they were on, I announced as loudly as I could muster. “Put down the knife and let my daughter go, Kyle. She’s an innocent. She has nothing to do with this.”

Kyle shook his head. “You stupid people do not get it. I’m not leaving here until the three of you are dead, and I’ll do it one at a time if I have to. Matisse. Gun, baby?”

When I heard the word gun, I lunged at my sister. She’d barely had a second to get the gun out from behind her where she’d tucked it into her pants. Her arms came up and I went right back to my training with Nicholas. I grabbed her wrist, spun, and shoved the arm holding the gun through mine so it wasn’t facing me. I smashed my hand into her elbow, and she let the gun go. It clanged to the floor and bounced out of sight. Matisse clung to me and pulled me down, the couch breaking my fall before we hit the floor.

Clayton took the opportunity with the commotion I’d made to move on Kyle.

He went for him with hands out front. Out of the corner of my eye I could see he had no choice but to release Lily or he’d have Clayton’s hands wrapped around his neck. Knowing my man, he’d never let go until Kyle passed out or was dead.

Clayton grunted and pushed Kyle into the wall, breaking the glass mirror behind his head. The glass shattered to the floor in big chunky pieces.

I scrambled with my sister, shoving and pushing, trying to get a better position. We rolled back and forth, ripping at one another.

Lily stood in the corner of the room crying, her hands by her face.

“Run outside, Lily!” Clayton yelled, and my girl did what she was told. Unfortunately, she stopped when she got to me, seeing me down with Matisse on top.

“Mommy…” She reached her hands toward us.

“Go!” I screamed and grappled with my sister, the gun on the floor somewhere I couldn’t see. I prayed it would stay hidden and neither of us would find it before the cops arrived.

Lifting my arms, I got a good lock on Matisse’s head and wiggled my thumbs into position. I pressed them right into Matisse’s eye sockets and pushed as hard as I could. She let go, wailing like a banshee. I took a half second, pushed her over, and took my stance on top of her just as I was taught to get out of the rape hold. Her hands came up to protect herself, but she must not have gotten the same training I did, because she did all the moves Nicholas warned me not to do if I was caught under someone. As the good student I am, I took to heart everything Nick taught me and fisted my hands and wailed on my sister’s face until she stopped fighting and her face was a bloody mess. My hands were no better.

Pushing off her, I found Clayton holding one of Kyle’s arms up above his head. The other hand was wrapped around his jaw, where he pounded Kyle’s skull against the wall. But Clayton made one crucial mistake: he forgot about the knife.

I watched in utter horror as Kyle’s right hand came up from behind him and plunged the knife right into Clayton’s side near his ribcage. My man roared in pain, his body bowing powerfully, the knife wedged in his side. Kyle pushed him back enough to get his hands off him.

“Police! Hands up!” came a cluster of voices behind me. I raised my hands on instinct.

I watched everything happening around me take place in slow motion.

There was no sound.

Clayton fell to his knees.

His powerful arms going to his side.

His fingers split between the knife still lodged inside him.

Blood poured out around his fingers.

He lifted his head, his eyes a startling navy as I watched the light in my man’s eyes go dark and fade out as he fell to his back.

Finally, my ability to move returned, and the sounds of sirens and people yelling orders entered my consciousness. I ran to Clayton and fell to my knees at his side. “Clayton! Baby, hold on. Hold on!” I heard myself demanding. I placed my hands over and around his wound, attempting to stabilize the knife and stop the bleeding. The weapon was buried to the hilt. I was sure that he’d been stabbed with the same knife used on me.

Clayton’s eyes flicked and his mouth opened and closed. “L-Love you. L-Lovvve Lilyyyy,” he stuttered around a cough, and then his powerful bulk went completely slack in my arms.

“No, no, no, no!” I screamed. “Help! I need help!”

Paramedics with a stretcher appeared out of nowhere and pushed me back. “We’ve got him, ma’am. We’ve got him. Back up so we can help him.”

Help him. Yes. Help him.

Someone put their hand on my shoulder. A woman with kind brown eyes and curly blond hair. “Ma’am. Come with me.”

I nodded, following numbly until all that had occurred rushed back to the surface. “My daughter! Where is she? She ran outside.” I was panicked but continued to watch Clay as the men worked on him.

“He’s got a pulse,” one said.

“Oxygen!” another called out.

“Lift,” I heard before seeing his bulk being placed on the stretcher.

The woman tapped on my shoulder. “She’s outside with the neighbor. She needs her mommy. She’s really scared.”

I nodded. “Need him to be okay.” She led me out the door. “Need him okay. I love him.”

“Got that. We’ll get you guys off to the hospital where he’s being taken. Let’s get your daughter.”

As the cop led me outside, I watched as Matisse’s head was shoved down as she was placed into a patrol car. Kyle had been handcuffed and was being led to a different one.

My neighborhood looked like something out of murder mystery. Neighbors stood at the edge of the sidewalk watching the train wreck that was my life unfold for all to see.

Kyle’s pipsqueak voice entered my haze. “I’ll get out,” he mocked. “They can’t hold me forever, and when I do…I’m coming after you,” he sneered at me as the cop shuffled him past me and toward the patrol car.

The big burly cop leading him “accidently” pushed him so he ended up tripping over the curb and falling against the front of the cop car. “Shut the fuck up,” he growled.

“Don’t be afraid,” the nice blond woman encouraged. “He’s going to get at least forty-five years to life for two counts of attempted murder with special circumstances. He’s never getting out of jail in your lifetime.”

I nodded but didn’t say anything as she led me around the side of an ambulance, where my daughter was wrapped in a blanket and being held by the little old lady who lived across the street. Of course, my girl would go to her. Definitely the sweetest.

“Baby!” I cried out, and she jumped out of my neighbor’s arms and into mine.

“Mommy, I so scawed!” she cried.

“It’s okay, baby. Everything is going to be okay now. We have to go to the hospital and check on Clay.”

“Clay’s hurt? That bad man hurted him?”

“Yeah, baby, he did. Very badly. We need to go make sure he’s going to be okay.”