Chapter Ten

“Dammit Trace, will you hold it still?” Logan scowled at his brother.

“If you think you can do better, then you hold it and let me pound that in.”

“Right.” He handed over the mallet, more than happy to give his sore ribs a break. By bracing his left hip against the workbench, he was able to hold the broken harness in place for Trace to complete the repair.

“Let’s test it. If it holds, we can deliver the new one to Sanders before dinner.” Trace hauled the harness off the table and they walked out to where Cyclone was tied to the corral. Except Cyclone wasn’t there.

“Damn horse.” Logan stared at another broken fence rail.

Trace pointed. “That’s going to be a problem when Tiny Dancer goes into heat next year.”

Logan looked to the south corral where they left Tiny Dancer. Cyclone was standing just outside the fence facing the petite, crooked-legged horse. Macy and the colt were in their shelter. “We’ll have to stable her at Cole’s. Cyclone won’t be happy about that either.”

“I know.”

He followed his brother to the Clydesdale. As soon as they set the harness on the horse’s back, he gave them his attention. Buckling it on, Trace walked Cyclone to the pile of lumber at the back of the barn where it was dumped by the delivery truck earlier that morning.

While his brother loaded the old wagon, he attached the harness to it. “That’s enough. The more trips Cyclone has to make, the better.” He handed the reins to Trace.

“Thanks.” His brother flicked them and Cyclone started walking.

Logan watched the two head down the dirt road toward Cole’s house. His cousin was in for a surprise if Trace made it all the way there. He had no idea the lumber for his small stable had arrived.

Logan turned away and strode into the barn to put away the tools. Trace had been the only one he’d spoken to except his daughter today. Gram stayed overnight in Prescott, which was just as well. It pissed him off that her betrayal hurt so much, but he still wouldn’t budge on his stance about Kylie. Neither would she.

She could rule her own home, but he would have the final say in his daughter’s life. That was his decision to make and his alone. But she’d been right about one thing. He had to decide what he would allow.

After a long talk with his lawyer, which he was sure cost him a month’s salary, he’d decided to agree to supervised visitation if he had to. If she asked for anything more, he’d fight her. His lawyer said the more he would allow, the easier it would be to convince the court, but that was as far as he would go.

He still couldn’t believe a court would take Charlotte from him and hand her over to a woman who abandoned her and admittedly had worked on the wrong side of the law. Unfortunately, his lawyer didn’t think those issues would be difficult for her to sway to her side because as he said, the courts were partial to the mother—child bond.

Screw that. He slammed the mallet into the cabinet and the shelf shook. Two loose shoeing nails fell onto the barn floor. Damn. Crouching down, he picked them up and returned them to the shelf. His ribs were as much a pain as his Gram’s words right now. The old woman had really burrowed under his skin and sent his mind in a hundred directions. Unfortunately, one of those directions was about Jenna.

Closing the cabinet, he ground his teeth. Gram’s attitude about him and Jenna had been pretty clear. Jenna deserved the best and if he wanted her, he needed to step up to the starting gate. That scared the bull crap out of him. A day at a time he could handle.

But Gram was right. What if after months of days at a time Jenna’s feelings changed? What if getting to know him made her not want him anymore? The last person he’d had a close relationship with was his dad and that had blown up in his face. Not only had his dad become incapacitated, but he’d lost who he was.

Logan cracked his knuckles one by one and leaned against a stall. He’d never admit it to anyone, but the man he’d admired and loved with soul-seared adulation, had turned mean, selfish, and nasty. He didn’t like the man his father became after the first stroke and the second made it worse. It was like his father was a stranger.

He’d put his dad on a pedestal and then…his heart constricted at the remembered pain. The fact was, he lost his father long before his dad died and that had colored his memory and their relationship. He hadn’t wanted to get that close to another person again and then his daughter arrived. She would change and grow into her own person forcing him to risk his heart with her. Did he dare risk it with Jenna, too?

Pushing away from the wall, Logan strode out of the barn. He didn’t want to think about any of it anymore. He needed to get some work done and keep his mind on easy tasks, not soul searching. Heading for the south corral and the new colt, he stopped at the sound of a vehicle.

Turning, he recognized Whisper’s truck. Damn, it had to be Jenna. He hadn’t called her since he bailed on their date. Did Cole call her? With little choice, he strode toward the truck.

She hopped out and came around the front, no bag in her hand. “Hi.” Her smile was friendly, so she must have forgiven him. She opened the passenger door and lifted Butterball down. “Now don’t cause any trouble this time.”

As Butterball trotted off, his significant backside swinging side to side, Logan greeted Jenna with a smile of his own. His mind was still conflicted but his heart was happy to see her. She walked right up to him, and he couldn’t resist pulling her into his arms and giving her a thorough kiss.

When he finally released her, her cheeks were flushed.

“Wow, I didn’t realize I was so missed.”

He grinned. “You were.”

She held her arms around his waist loosely, her head tipped back to meet his gaze. “I missed you too, though it turned out that had you made it to dinner last night, I would have had to bail myself.”

Relief helped him relax. “Why?”

“I had a tough surgery yesterday and last night it was touch and go. Luckily, by this morning, the kitty was already meowing for food, so it looks like a full recovery is eminent.”

He let her go and stepped back. “Then I’m glad it all worked out for the best. Did Cole call you? He didn’t say anything to me.”

She cocked her head and put a hand on her hip. “No, Cole didn’t call me. I’m not here on ranch business. I’m here to see you.”

Since she’d never come to the ranch except for the horses, it surprised him. “Me? But you work in the afternoon.” Now he sounded dumb. Get your act together.

“I work all day, usually. What I don’t usually do is work all night. I had Connie reschedule most of my afternoon so I could leave early and go home for some sleep. I just thought I’d stop over here first and see how you were.”

“Why would you need to check on me? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a horse.” He winked. “Then again, I have been compared to one on occasion.”

Jenna rolled her eyes. “Oh please, I’ve seen what you have. Remember?”

Their evening in the hay came to mind and his body responded. “Hmm, I don’t think I do. Maybe I need to show you again.”

She laughed. It wasn’t a dainty giggle. Jenna had a full sounding laugh that made him want to hold her tight and never let her go. Maybe that was exactly what he needed to do. To hell with the day to day thing. Maybe jumping in with both his feet was what he should do. It had worked with his baby girl.

“That sounds like fun, but how about after I get some rest. I’d be worthless right now. I just stopped by because last night when you called you sounded too polite. I figured something must be bothering you, besides your Gram not getting back in time.”

He took her hand and headed for the porch. “You are very perceptive. Let me get you a drink.”

“Okay. I’ll have some ice tea.”

He stopped in front of the two chairs to the left of the door. “You relax. I’ll be right back.”

He strode inside and poured two glasses of tea. What was he thinking? One minute he didn’t want to be close to Jenna and then she shows up and he’s all in. He needed to have his head examined. Or maybe Jenna was a good influence on him. Definitely something to think about.

Picking up the glasses, he brought them out to the porch and handed her one. Moving the other chair right next to hers, he waited for her to take a sip. “Tell me about this complicated surgery you had.”

She set her glass down and shook her head. “First, you tell me what was bothering you last night.”

“That? That was just me disagreeing with Gram the night before. It put me in a bad mood. That’s a daily occurrence around here.”

She reached over and took his hand in hers. “What did you argue about?”

“Who said we argued?” At her look, he gave in. He really didn’t want to talk about it. “We just disagreed about Kylie.”

She stilled. “You mean your grandmother wanted you to marry her and you refused?”

He chuckled. “Damn, right I’d refuse. But that wasn’t Gram’s issue. In fact, she thinks you are quite a catch.”

“Really?” Jenna’s genuine surprise was refreshing.

“Yes, really.” He cupped his hand behind her neck and gave her another kiss. When they separated, he continued to hold her there so he could be sure she listened. “I don’t remember her exact words but it was something about how smart and beautiful you are.”

She pulled out of his grasp. “Now I know you’re just laying on the charm. Your grandmother might approve of my independence, but looks would never come into it.”

“You’re right. Guess it was just how I remembered it.”

“So was that what bothered you? That your Gram liked me?”

He chuckled at that. “Damn, but you’re like a dog with a bone.”

“Funny, my dad says that about me.” She lifted her glass in salute.

“He’s right.”

She finished swallowing and stared at him. Her teal green eyes were fascinating. Sometimes the blue was stronger but other times, like now, the green was stronger. Could it be a reflection of her emotions?

“Logan, you’re stalling.”

He blinked. “No, I was just distracted by you.” She opened her mouth and he spoke before she could say anything. “Gram wanted me to let Kylie in Charlotte’s life. She said Charlotte deserves to know her mother, but you met her. She’s not mother material.”

Jenna’s expression turned serious. “That may be, but your Gram is right. Charlotte does deserve to know her mother, flaws and all.”

His gut tightened at the same time his heart skipped a beat. Not her, too? Was it some kind of secret woman thing? “I don’t agree. Charlotte doesn’t need Kylie’s influence in her life. There are plenty of good role models for her right here on the farm.” And I thought you could be one of them. Don’t prove me wrong.

“And that’s why it’s important for Charlotte to know her mom. Without that, there will always be a void in her life, no matter how many women fuss over her. No one is perfect. Even Charlotte is going to disappoint you one day.”

“She won’t. She can’t. She’s my daughter.”

Jenna leaned forward, her look intense. “And Kylie is her mother. That is a special bond that shouldn’t be severed.”

It was too much. Logan stood. “Kylie broke that bond when she left my daughter on the porch of my home in the middle of the night. That she comes back over a year later wanting to be a part of Charlotte’s life again doesn’t mean a thing. There’s a good chance she’ll just up and disappear again and then what do I tell Charlotte while she’s crying from a broken heart, thinking her mother has abandoned her and doesn’t love her any more? And then what happens if Kylie returns again?”

Jenna rose as well, her gaze sympathetic but determined. “Then Charlotte will be thrilled her mom is back and if she leaves again she’ll have you to turn to. You can’t protect her from that. You don’t have the right to keep them apart. You have to let Charlotte know her mother.”

“No, I don’t. I won’t let anyone hurt her. Not even her own mother.”

“That’s not your decision to make.”

He fisted his hands to keep from lashing out. He wanted to knock over the furniture, break a window, anything to stop the hurt of betrayal from eating away at his heart. He hadn’t expected it from her, which made it harder to take. “It is my decision to make and I have made it. Now I think you should leave.”

Jenna’s eyes widened in surprise. “That’s how you will settle this? By asking me to leave?”

“If you can’t support me, then we have nothing further to talk about.”

“It’s not that I—okay.” She turned to the steps and jogged down them. “Butterball! Butterball, come.” She patted her leg as she walked toward her truck.

Part of him wanted to grab her and keep her from leaving, but his heart hurt too much to act on that. If she was going to be in his life, she’d have to support his decisions regarding Charlotte. If she couldn’t do that, it was better he found out now before they grew too close.

Butterball waddled to her and she picked him up, hugging him before setting him on the seat. Maybe that was it. Maybe Jenna was so attuned to animals that she couldn’t see what it was like to be a parent to a child.

To be fair, he hadn’t known either until Charlotte arrived on his doorstep, but whoever shared his life would need to understand the bond he had with his daughter. A bond that was more precious than anything, even his own happiness.

As Jenna backed up the truck and headed down the dirt road, he tried to ignore the burning sensation in his chest, but he knew what it was. He was watching his chance at happiness drive away.

~~*~~

Logan held his daughter in his good arm as he stood outside the south corral fence. Today was his last day to have her all to himself. The DNA results would arrive and he wouldn’t be able to keep Kylie away any longer. His luck had run true to form.

“Horzie!” Charlotte squealed, pointing with cowboy teddy in hand at the colt as he jumped out of the shelter, shaking his head with his sudden starts and stops. “Horzie!” She pounded the teddy on his chest. “Da-da. Horzie.”

He smiled at her excitement despite his mood. “That’s right. It’s a horsey and it’s Charlotte’s horsey.”

She turned away from the corral and looked at him with wide eyes. “Horzie mine?”

Her awe was rewarding and humbling, making his eyes misty at the thought he would have to share these kinds of moments in the future. He kept his voice soft. “Yes. The horzie is Charlotte’s.”

Her green eyes sparkled with glee before she let rip an ear-piercing squeal.

He hugged her to him despite her squirming then loosened his hold. She held out both her hands toward the colt who now stood transfixed after her yell. “Horzie, mine. Want mine horzie.” She leaned precariously out over his arm and he grasped her torso to keep her from falling, wincing at the pull on his left side.

“Whoa, there. You don’t want to scare it. Shh.” Her eyes moved down, then to the right before she looked directly at him with that unseeing stare that told him her little mind was processing the information. She would be one smart young lady someday.

Finally, she pressed one of her chubby fingers to her lips and blew.

He barely contained his laugh. “Yes, we need to be quiet.”

She blew against her finger then turned with it still pressed to her mouth to look at the colt who was back to romping around.

Logan stepped closer to the fence and clicked his tongue.

The baby horse stopped and looked up.

Charlotte remained completely still.

He clicked his tongue again and the colt walked over. He held out his hand and the colt lowered his head and licked at his palm.

Charlotte remained transfixed.

He kept his voice to a whisper to signal her to be quiet. “Do you want to touch your horsey?”

She didn’t answer. Instead, she leaned over his arm forcing him to pull his hand away from the colt to catch her before she tumbled into the corral. The movement hurt, but it was nothing to what he’d feel if she fell.

The colt raised its head at the same time Charlotte reached out and her hand brushed its coat. As she waved her hand up and down at the surprise contact, squealing with delight, the colt bounded away.

Logan stifled a chuckle, not wanting his ribs to hurt anymore then they already did from his daughter’s antics. He readjusted her, settling her back onto his good arm. “Wait until daddy teaches you to ride. Then you will be really happy.”

Charlotte started to push up and down. “Ride horzie.”

He turned back toward the house. “Yes, you will get to ride your horsey, but first you will need to name it. Not everyone is happy with Charlotte’s Horse as a name.”

Charlotte didn’t pay any attention. She’d twisted around and watched her horse from over his shoulder.

He walked into the unusually quiet house. Gram was still in Prescott with her sick friend and Trace hadn’t arrive yet.

Since he was almost worthless in helping around the ranch, he planned to spend the whole day with Charlotte.

He brought her into the kitchen and settled her into her highchair. He should probably wake up Dillon, but he was enjoying his time alone with Charlotte too much. Grabbing her dry oat cereal, he dropped a handful onto her tray. She immediately put pieces in her mouth, and he surreptitiously pulled the teddy from the tray and set it on the shelf behind her.

Scrambled eggs with cheese was one of her favorite meals, so he took out a bowl and started cracking eggs.

“More, da-da.” Charlotte banged her tray with her hands.

He looked over his shoulder to find her tray empty. Wiping his hands, he poured out more cereal then went back to preparing the eggs. Rifling through the fridge, he found bacon and leftover potatoes from dinner the night before. Pulling them out along with half of a large onion, he started on hash browns.

A piece of cereal pinged the stove where he cooked, and he turned.

Charlotte laughed. “More, da-da.”

He stepped to his left to grab the cereal and his boot crunched beneath him. “What?” Looking down, he found cereal all over the floor. “Charlotte, you don’t throw your food.”

His perfect daughter hit him in the face with another cereal piece. He scowled. “No.”

A pop from the bacon forced him to turn back to the food he cooked. He waited until everything was done then he turned off the burners under the pans and wiped his hands on a towel. Moving to his daughter’s tray, which still held a few cereal missiles, he scooped them up and threw them in the trash.

“Bad da-da. More.”

“No, no more. Your food is not a toy.” He moved to the closet and pulled the broom out, sweeping up the cereal and disposing of it.

“Da-da more! More! More!”

He pulled a chair up to her and gave her his full attention. “Charlotte was a bad girl.” He kept his tone even and calm.

She looked at him and shook her head. “No. Da-da bad. More.”

“Charlotte, food is for eating not throwing.” He frowned at her, wanting her to understand this was an important lesson.

She stared at him and her bottom lip started to quiver.

Ah hell. He wanted to lift her up and hug her, but she’d never learn that way. “If I give you more, will you eat?” He took a fork from the table and motioned with it.

Her lip stopped and she gave him that far off stare as her mind worked. “Eat.”

He smiled. “Good girl.”

Getting up, he put a small amount of the eggs on her baby plate and blew on it to cool it off.

“Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat.” She was back to banging on her tray.

He set a plate of food at his seat then brought her dish. Sitting next to her, he scooped eggs into his mouth. “Hmmm, good.”

She watched him then picked up her eggs with her hand and stuffed them in her mouth. “Hmmm.”

He almost choked on his laugh, but quickly squelched it for both his rib’s sake and his daughter’s sake.

“What smells so good?” Dillon strode into the kitchen, his short black hair sticking up, his gray sweat pants hanging below his waist and no shirt.

“It’s breakfast, but you’re not getting any until you put on a shirt.”

His cousin stopped, his hand on the cabinet handle. “What do you mean, put on a shirt? I always eat breakfast in sweats.”

Logan gave him a frown. “Not in this house. I have a young daughter growing up here. So if you want some of the breakfast I cooked, you put on a shirt. Might as well comb your hair while you’re at it.”

“Are you serious?”

“Completely.”

“Okay, okay.” Dropping his hand from the cabinet door, he turned around and headed down the hallway.

Logan grinned as he heard Dillon running up the stairs. His food must smell exceptionally good.

He returned his attention to Charlotte who promptly asked for more eggs. Checking the floor around her and seeing none there, he scooped another spoonful onto her plate and cooled them before giving them to her.

“Now, can I eat?” Dillon walked back into the room, a black t-shirt with some rock band Logan never heard of plastered across the front.

Since the logo only had a name and a white convertible, he didn’t find it objectionable. Though the convertible just reminded him of what would happen today. “Go ahead, but leave some for Trace. I’m sure he’ll want to eat when he gets here.”

“Got it.” Dillon moved to the stove.

Having his cousin show up could actually benefit Last Chance since he was of so little use with his broken ribs at the moment. “You’re timing is perfect. Trace and I talked it over and we need you to keep Cyclone busy.”

Dillon piled his plate with eggs. “That’s the Clydesdale, right? The one that needs special attention?”

“Yes. In addition to attention and finding things for him to hall, his feathered feet need to be cleaned of any mud.”

His cousin nodded. “I can do that, though I doubt he’ll be seeing much mud around here.”

There was that. “I’d also appreciate it if you could take Black Jack out for a ride, that is if you don’t have any long-term effects from your crash.”

Dillon kept his eyes on the food, adding strips of bacon to his plate. “Just a couple sore muscles. Better if I move around anyway.”

Logan tried to imagine what his Aunt Bev could have done to piss off the second of her two sons so much that he’d leave their horse ranch.

At New Year’s, before Cole and Lacey’s surprise wedding, his aunt was still trying to get Cole interested in a wealthy woman she’d brought to the party with her, even though she knew Cole was engaged. “So, what did your mother pull this time?”

Dillon sat down with a heaping plate of eggs, bacon and hash browns. “Let’s just say she went too far. When I refused to do what she wanted, she threatened to take the horses away. I told her to take her fucking ranch and shove it.”

“Watch your mouth.” He looked at his daughter who held her eggs in her hand.

“Luck. Luck.”

He swallowed hard. “That’s right. Daddy has terrible luck.”

“Lucky da-da.” She stuffed another handful of eggs into her mouth and grinned.

He smiled at her before turning back to Dillon to scowl.

“Sorry. I’m not used to having kids around. I’ve been hanging out with too many cowboys. I’ll try to be careful.”

His cousin did look apologetic. “You do that.” He returned his attention to his own eggs, his mind racing. Would Kylie swear in front of their daughter? Would she even care? He liked having Gram in Charlotte’s life because she was a good role model, but Kylie could undo everything Gram did.

For the second time, he wished it had been Jenna who gave birth to his daughter. If that were true, they wouldn’t have fought over having Charlotte’s mother in her life.

Then again, Jenna would have never left her child on his doorstep.