Chapter Twenty-One
When Lonzo arrived at the E.R., a team of doctors were already waiting to take over the EMTs and stabilize Jordana’s condition.
Hospital personnel prevented him from following the medical team as they wheeled Jordana into the operating theater. He was so crazed with fear at that point and made such a nuisance of himself that one of the doctors approached and asked him to get a grip on himself or he’d be asked to leave. That sobered him up.
Almost an hour passed before the same doctor went back to speak with him.
He stood up as the doctor approached.
“Mr. Vitale?”
“How is she?” he asked anxiously. “Is she okay?”
The doctor shook his head.
“There were complications,” the doc told him gravely.
It sounded like a death sentence to him.
“What complications?” he asked with dread.
“We’ve been trying to stop the bleeding but her blood pressure is very difficult to manage. We’ve already talked with her GP and we found out she has mild pre-eclampsia during the middle part of her pregnancy. For now, Mr. Vitale…we’re trying our best to prevent eclampsia.”
His knees almost gave way when he heard the prognosis. It took him a moment before he could respond.
“Do everything in your power to make her well, doctor. I don’t care about the cost…”
“Mr. Vitale…I have to be honest with you. Her chances are fifty-fifty. The baby, even less. We are still trying to bring her blood pressure down to normal levels. Once she’s reached that, then we’ll induce the baby’s delivery. But it’s critical that it normalizes in the next hour or so.”
“Do whatever is necessary.”
“As I said, both mother and baby are in critical condition. Both of them could die. Your girlfriend had lost a considerable amount of blood,” the doctor continued, but he ceased to listen.
He closed his eyes, his chest heavy. If the baby died, Jordana would hate him forever. The mere thought of losing her…Dio, no! He won’t be able to bear it!
“Save her first, if it comes to that. But try saving them both,” he replied with a heavy heart. It was the most difficult decision he had ever made in his life and he never wanted to be in this situation again. Ever.
He’d never felt so helpless in his life. If it was possible, he’d gladly trade places with Jordana. Better him than her. But he can’t.
Even with wealth at his disposal, there was absolutely nothing he could do but hope and pray for her and their child’s safety.
In the ensuing hours, that was what he did. He fervently prayed for deliverance.
It came three agonizing hours later, when the doctor came out of the operating room, carrying a pink bundle in his arms.
The doctor beamed as he approached.
“Say hello to your daughter, Mr. Vitale—” the doctor beamed as he placed his newborn child in his arms. “Congratulations.”
A daughter. He had a daughter!
Lonzo opened his mouth to speak but no words came out while he stared down at his firstborn. He gently touched the baby’s face and instantly felt a strong gush of emotion bubbling from deep within him. A huge lump formed in his throat as his eyes watered.
Rocco was right. Love was real, because for the second time in his life, he fell in love with a female.
His daughter slept soundly, blissfully unaware of his attention. He didn’t mind at all, as he looked at her in wonderment.
She was a miniature Jordana, her features exquisitely feminine; except for her chin, which she definitely got from him. Somehow, that made him proud. Without a doubt his little princess would put him into hoops; he’d be bashing a lot of heads by the time she reached her teens.
He held the baby against his chest, his arm supporting her tiny head while his hand stroked her petal-smooth rosy cheeks.
He knew people would think he was being a bit biased, but she really was the most beautiful baby he had ever seen. And she was his. He was now a father! He wanted to shout it from the rooftops.
But the feeling of joy was short-lived when he remembered Jordana.
His gaze shifted to the doctor.
“Doc—”
The doctor gave him an encouraging smile. “She’s almost stable, although we have to insist that she remain in our care for a week. She’s very weak from the delivery and from all that blood loss. But as far as her overall health is concerned, we’re very confident she will recover without lingering complications.”
The heavy pressure on his chest was finally lifted.
“Thank heavens for that,” he said as he cradled his daughter closer. “Can I see her?”
The doctor considered his request for a moment. “I think you may… but she’s unconscious. Anesthesia.”
“It doesn’t matter, I just want to see her.”
The doctor cleared his throat. “We also need to know if you and your girlfriend had thought of a name for the baby. Of course, if you wish to name the child after your girlfriend wakes up—”
“I’ll give her name now,” Lonzo quickly racked his brains for a suitable name. “Gianna. Gianna Vitale,” he supplied.
The doctor smiled. “That’s a very pretty name. Suits her.”
He lifted his eyes from his daughter. “I think so, too. I just hope her mother will like it.”
“I’m sure she will, Mr. Vitale,” the doctor told him reassuringly.
Dio, he really hoped that when Jordana woke up, she’d be magnanimous enough to forgive him for all the hurt that he had caused her.
If only for the sake of their little Gianna.
Jordana drifted in and out of consciousness. She was feverish and racked by chills for what seemed like...days. At one point, she thought she heard Lonzo’s voice, whispering a mixture of Italian and English words in her ear.
“Amata—” his voice said softly. “Sei tutta la mia vita.”
She tried to respond…to tell him to stay away from her but her lips were too parched to move.
Had she just felt his lips kissing her forehead? Was it him clasping her hand? Was she dreaming or was this drug-induced hallucinations?
Definitely the latter, she thought as she drifted in and out of limbo.
“You! You foda! Filho da puta!” he heard Bastian cuss before he saw a meaty fist aiming for his face.
Lonzo only had a split-second to move his head. He swung his arm in retaliation at the marauding man.
He should have expected this less-than-amiable reaction from Jordana’s manager. Mel had tried to warn him when she called a few hours ago, after they arrived at Heathrow.
Mayhem erupted in the receiving area of Jordana’s room as Bastian went for him again. He was held off by Rocco, Mel and his own security detail.
“Get out of here before I kill you for what you did to my sister!” Bastian shouted.
He froze. Sister? Was the man drunk? That the fuck...?
“Long story. Trust me, Leandro’s family,” Mel explained after she saw his puzzled look. “Her only sibling.”
Bastian was like a bull roaring for a fight.
“Get out!” the man furiously told him.
Rocco tried to intervene.
“Guys…come on…we’re all adults here. Can we discuss this in a more civilized manner? Lonzo, can you please shelve the fighting stance? Thank you,” his bestfriend said dryly.
“I am not going anywhere,” he declared. Damn it, he won’t leave his woman’s side just because her brother said so.
Jordana’s brother went livid.
“Oh, yes you fucking will!” Bastian responded.
“I am not moving an inch unless she tells me to,” he replied firmly.
They were about to slug it out again when they heard Jordana’s weak voice…telling them to stop.
“Please…stop it! Leave us, Lonzo…” she said tiredly but succinctly.
He was rooted to the spot at what he heard.
“Cara—” he said, as he strode to reach her, but she turned her head away.
Unfamiliar pain ripped through him.
“You heard her, Vitale. She doesn’t want you here,” her brother stated.
He turned to Bastian. “You leave us! I want to talk to her without you harping like a girl in the background!”
Bastian looked like he was ready to trounce him but Mel held him off.
“Okay, Lonzo. You have five minutes. Dana, honey…we’ll be right outside, okay?” Mel pacified as she led Jordana’s brother out of the room. Rocco followed suit, leaving him alone with Jordana.
He only had five minutes. Five minutes to win back the mother of his child and convince her to forgive him.
“Cara…please look at me,” he pleaded quietly at her bedside.
Jordana turned to face him, her eyes hard with disdain. “You shouldn’t be here,” she told him in a hallow, cold voice. “I hate the sight of you.”
Her frigid tone made him wince.
“Jordana—” he beseeched as he tried to reach for her hand.
“No!” She jerked herself away from his reach and forced herself to sit on the bed.
He dropped his hand to his side.
He couldn’t blame her. He had repeatedly treated her like shit. He knew it wouldn’t be easy getting back in her good graces
“I can’t blame you,” he murmured. “I’m everything your brother accused me of. Everything I did and said was inexcusable.” He took a deep breath. “I was a prick. I hurt you deeply. I was a jealous, distrustful bastard. I never felt this way before and I was foolishly fighting myself. Cara, I was falling in love with you, too. But I was just too scared to admit it.”
He heard her loud gasp at what he just outpoured. His heart soared, hopeful.
“Don’t talk to me about love, Lonzo,” she told him contemptuously. “From the start, all you did was judge me. You never gave me a fair trial. You wanted to ruin me. But you went beyond that. You rejected my child. My beautiful, innocent baby!” she said furiously.
“I was thoughtless. I was so blinded by jealousy…but I realized that she’s mine. I was on my way back--” he tried to explain to her but she cut him off, laughing at him scornfully.
“I don’t give a shit, Vitale.”
He wanted to drop dead.
He deserved it for everything he did but damn, he didn’t expect it to hurt like this. Was this what people call heartbreak? They lied. The hurt was so great it didn’t just break his heart but his entire soul.
He would never love another woman the way he loved her.
“All I want is your forgiveness.”
She eyed him icily.
“A chance, Jordana. That’s all I ask,” he pleaded, casting away his pride. “A chance for us.”
“There is no ‘us’, Lonzo,” she answered dismissively. “There will never be because I will never, ever forgive you.”
“We have a child to consider! This is beyond you and me!”
She narrowed her eyes. “The baby’s mine. I will raise her alone!”
“You can’t just cut me out of Gianna’s life! She’s also my child!”
“She’s not yours! You rejected her, remember? My child is better off without a father than have a deceitful, faithless bastard like you around!” she spat at him as tears began to cascade down her face, which she hastily wiped away with the back of her hand.
Seeing her tears made him feel so ashamed. If he had any decency at all, he would leave now.
“Jordana—” he said in a broken, anguished voice. “I do love you and Gianna.”
“Don’t you talk about love! You don’t know the meaning of the word.”
He couldn’t speak. His heart constricted. He did this to her. He made her build an impenetrable wall. Walls so tall and thick, he won’t be able to scale it.
He sighed.
“I do now,” he said softly. “After I almost lost you forever.”
“I don’t want to hear it. Just go.”
“I just want a chance…a chance to show you, cara. To prove that I love you—” he said hoarsely.
He had gambled and won many battles in his life but he’d give up all of that just to have this one victory.
Jordana couldn’t believe what she was seeing and hearing. Lonzo’s olive eyes were shimmering. Tears?! Impossible! Lonzo Vitale was powerful, ruthless and selfish to the core. He was merely toying with her, playing with her affections.
She recalled their time at the island, how he played his cruel mind games with her, making her hope and believe that they had something to look forward to.
No. She won’t fall prey to his selfish games again. She crossed her arms and drew her chin up.
“You want me to test this so-called love of yours? Very well… promise me one thing: you’ll never come near me or my child again.”
He looked like he just got punched in the gut. “Don’t do this to me, cara. I’ll do anything, Jordana. Anything but that.”
“Then prove it! Stay away from us!” she insisted.
He just continued to look at her face. Then without warning, he made a move for her, pulling her into his arms before lowering his head to kiss her. He kissed her so tenderly. And for a moment she almost got lost in the wistfulness of his kiss. She almost believed he meant to cherish and love her forever.
But she remembered the taunting words he uttered .
We didn’t make love. We had sex. Sex I paid for, remember?
It was enough to put a fresh blanket of ice around her heart again. She pushed him away savagely.
“Do not touch me. Ever.”
He stood back, his hands clenched at his sides. His usually vibrant green eyes were cloudy with…pain?
“Don’t ask me to stay away from Gianna.”
“She is not your child.”
He didn’t speak for a long time after that. Then he drew another deep breath.
“I’ll stay away from you. For now. But I’ll make you see, Jordana. One day I’ll make you realize that I meant every word I said,” he uttered dejectedly.
She steeled herself from feeling anything.
“Then you shall wait in vain, Vitale. That day will never come.”
He didn’t reply to that. He turned and slowly left the room. And out of her life.
As expected, the news of the latest unfolding drama involving a supermodel, a billionaire and their secret love child created another media frenzy. Various publications had already tried to reach her or Leandro in the hopes of getting an exclusive. HELLO magazine offered a huge sum of money in exchange for the first pictures of Gianna, while O.K. magazine, said it would double its rival’s offer.
But Jordana was having none of it. She already asked Leandro and her lawyers to file an injunction against any members of the press - both the legitimate and the gutter kind, from publishing pictures of the baby or face law suits.
She thought that was the reason the media relented a bit. That was until she learned that even without her agreement, Lonzo installed his security team around the hospital.
She found out about it when Thio Fredo and Zia Maria mentioned it when they visited her. It left her extremely annoyed. She’d hire her own security personnel, she vowed.
She didn’t involve the two in her conflict with Lonzo. Especially Thio Fredo. The old man burst into tears the first time he saw and held Gianna.
“Now I can die,” he said.
“Oh, Fredo...stop being melodramatic! Old devils like you live to a hundred. You’ll be here for Gianna’s eighteenth birthday!” Zia commented. Like Thio Fredo, she was excited to hold Gianna, who slept like an angel all the time.
“Gianna’s very beautiful. I know you’re very proud of her,” the contessa graciously said when it was her turn to carry the child in her arms.
She couldn't help but smile every time she heard her name. She was so proud of her daughter. She decided not to change the baby’s name when she found out that Lonzo had chosen it. Actually, Mel persuaded her.
“Come on, hunbun…that would be the height of pettiness! Besides, the name suits the baby. She does look like a Gianna,” her friend insisted.
“I still intend to change her surname to mine,” she said stubbornly.
Mel threw her hands in the air when she heard this. “Honestly…I still maintain you’re being too harsh on Lonzo. You ought to give the man a chance or at least an opening. He looked really crestfallen when he left. Besides, whether you like it or not, he’s your baby daddy. “
But she made up her mind. She wouldn’t let him in her life and heart again. She was hell-bent on being a single mom
And if he filed for custody of Gianna, she would fight him to the bitter end. Yes, when push comes to shove, she could be one vindictive bitch.
Six months later
Lonzo was slumped on the living room couch of his dimly-lit villa, drinking vodka straight from the bottle. Earlier, he had dismissed his staff, even his own security men. He wanted to be alone.
He held a printout of the report in one hand. It was the same supplementary report on Jordana that Titus Blackwell sent to him but had remained unopened in his inbox for months.
He finally got to read it after Jordana threw him out of her life.
Reading its contents made him sick to his stomach. Everything that absolved Jordana from any wrongdoing was in the report. Had he read it before following her to Rome a year ago, things would have ended differently and on a happier note.
He took another swig of vodka.
First, she wasn’t the one who sold the story to the press. It was his former lover, Natalia Agnelli…or more specifically, one of her minions. It was Natalya who paid one of the chambermaids at the hotel to make it look like Jordana was the one who sold him out.
And he, the ultimate fool bought it without question. He’d been so wrong about her.
He remembered confronting Natalya about the report and she laughed at his face.
“Hurts, does it?” she’d mocked. She relished telling him how she planned everything—that she was the one who orchestrated in getting him and Jordana drugged so they could be photographed in a compromising position. She admitted to arranging for the pictures to be printed by the tabloids.
“Now, we’re even,” she gloated.
The anger that he originally felt for the scorned woman died. Because before he met Jordana, he used women. He was a cold, calculating bastard. Now he understood what possessed Natalia to do it. He brought this upon himself.
“You’re right, Natalia...we’re even. But try it again and you’ll live to regret it,” was all he said before he turned away.
And now here he was, wallowing in shame and regret. He threw the report in disgust.
He felt a deep sense of remorse and guilt.
He allowed his past to taint his association with the opposite sex. He thought all women were avaricious. Like his mother.
Promise me one thing, my son…never let a woman control you! Never let a woman poison your mind with meaningless love words! Let me be an example. Vow it!”
Those were a dying man’s last words.
His father’s.
Lonzo shut his eyes at the memory. Not even the number of years can dull the pain his suicide created.
He followed a dying father’s wish.
He never allowed himself to love or be loved by a woman. If they fell for him, he always told them it was their fault, not his.
He was a cazzo.
From the beginning, Jordana was a cut above the rest. She had wanted him for himself.
In return, he treated her like a toy, not a person. His mind had been so distorted, so warped for so long that he couldn’t tell a genuinely caring person from a scheming one…
He glanced around the villa, remembering how they made love. He shook his head at the thought. These flashbacks were driving him insane.
And now it was too fucking late to make amends.
He hurt her really bad, even denying his own baby because of his self-centeredness.
He’d tried to forget her, to stay away from her when he left her and the baby at the hospital. He tried to convince himself that it was for the best, the decent thing to do.
But his heart was unwilling to forget. He just couldn’t move on. He had fallen in love with Jordana Almueda when he first heard her laughing.
Staying away from her and their child was slowly killing him.
He stood up and paced around the living room like a caged tiger. He was clinching the bottle of vodka so hard that it hurt. Fuck, everything hurt. For months, he woke and slept with a bottle of vodka or whiskey for company, licking these wounds that would never heal, wanting to punch his fist through a wall.
“You stupid, stupid piece of shit. You finally believed in love but it was too fucking late,” he told himself as he downed another swig of vodka.
He had tried to get in touch with her when she returned to New York, but she closed the door at every opportunity.
He did every trick to soften her up. He sent her flowers, which she didn’t accept. He tried to make financial arrangements for her and Gianna but she made a fit at the emissaries he sent. Next, he tried showing up at the the fashion shows but he couldn’t get through her security posse.
He was grateful that Jordana gave Thio Fredo access to Gianna. His uncle, however, was still not talking to him. The old man blamed him entirely for this mess. Which was the truth.
It was only through Blackwell’s surveillance team that he was at least able to see Gianna’s progress through snapshots. Damn it, his child was now teething and he was not even allowed to be near her! Worse, Chris Falcone was playing Daddy to his kid and Jordana was letting him!
Damn. What if she had really moved on? What if she was really considering Chris to raise Gianna? What then? he asked himself miserably.
He can never cope if she loved another. He’d go mad if he lost her for good.
No! His heart thundered in his chest. He had to try harder, formulate a strategy to sort this tangled mess.
He would win her back. He must.
It was snowing heavily in New York. In fact, according to the weather bureau, NYC should brace itself for a blizzard in the next couple of days. The snow was so bad that Jordana’s cover shoot for Vanity Fair was canceled and rescheduled for next week. Not that it mattered much to her, she barely noticed anything nowadays except when it concerned Gianna. At this point, her child was the only bright spot in her life, aside from her career.
Ah, her career. Who would have thought that she would be the most successful comeback kid on the catwalk since Kate Moss?
She never expected this level of acceptance by the public after what happened to her personal life. Several fashion insiders said her career was good as dead when she had Gianna.
She proved them all wrong.
Not only did she conquer the catwalk again, but she tripled her product endorsements and fashion bookings. Leandro was also successful in renewing her contract with her former modeling agency and that made Francesca more than happy.
“Had I known your sudden notoriety would produce this much bookings, I would have ordered you to be a ‘wild child’ much, much earlier!” her booking agent exclaimed. “Why, you had practically every major designer clamoring to have you. I had to turn away some major labels. Now that, my dear, is what we call real staying power,” Francesca cheerfully added.
Jordana sometimes wished that Francesca’s bubbliness would rub off on her. Still, she had to thank her agent. Francesca had lined up so many shoots and shows for her that she barely had time to mope.
And then there was also Chris, she mused. She was more than surprised when he continued to seek her out after she returned to New York a week after she gave birth to Gianna. The man even threw a post-baby shower in her honor.
At first she was discomfited with his attention. Again, she reminded him about her emotional state. She wasn’t ready to date or to have a boyfriend. He looked at her steadily and told her that friendship was all he was after. He laughingly remarked that he liked to help out distressed damsels in high heels. And besides, he added, it was Gianna he was smitten with.
Jordana was relieved to hear this. She relaxed back into their comfortable friendship after that. Whenever Chris was in Manhattan or off the football pitch, he was, along with Leandro, her constant companions at many public functions and events. At one time, he even volunteered to babysit Gianna when her nanny phoned in sick.
“Honey, that hunky jock is in love with you and you’re just too blind to see it,” a fellow model remarked enviously when Chris dropped her for a shoot a few weeks ago.
“He’s just a friend,” she answered cautiously.
“Uh-huh. I wish I had a male friend who looks like that and who is straight, not gay-”
Jordana laughed at that observation. Yet it made her stop and consider things. Everyone deserved a chance at happiness, right?
Was Chris the man for her? Perhaps. For one thing, everything fit where it counted the most: Chris was successful in his own right, he adored her baby, he was patient, had a wicked sense of humor and even her own brother approved of him. In short, Chris was quite a catch and she’d been called a fool for not catching him.
She wished that she could say she could love another man…a man like Chris. But she couldn’t, no matter how many times she chided herself. She was an emotional icicle. And she knew the reason why.
Lonzo.
Let him go, she told herself countless of times. How could she, when there was Gianna to remind her practically every day of his existence?
Then remember what he did, her brain prompted. Shut him off.