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Love At First Ink: A Woodbine Valley Romance (Tate Family Book 1) by Bridgid Gallagher (19)

Chapter 19

Lucy's bridesmaids—Elle included—had relocated to a posh brunch spot in downtown Asheville, where they took up a line of tables separate from the rest of the restaurant. There were mimosas and a bounty of food, and the level of conversation and laughter filled the room.

Although Elle wasn’t able to join the happy chatter.

After her talk with Lucy, she was out of sorts. She’d had one too many glasses of champagne before eating breakfast, which only made matters worse.

Elle never wanted to be like her mother, but all around her were signs that she’d become exactly like Caroline. Lucy wasn’t shallow and catty, but sweet and genuine. Carter looked the part of the perfect man, but never truly loved her. And Justin … he was the farthest thing from her vision of Mr. Right, but when she was with him, she was happy. He challenged her to be better. He made her see the world in a new light. He’d even offered to be her wedding date, and she’d all but thrown it in his face.

Elle started to think she’d made a big—no, huge—mistake.

So she did the only thing an adult woman having a revelation can do: she sent an emergency text to someone she knew for sure would call her on her bullshit. Due to the copious amounts of champagne, Elle wasn't certain what she texted, but whatever emoji were used, they got the job done.

Her phone rang and Elle picked up, apologizing to the table at large for the interruption, even though no one except Caroline seemed to notice.

"Start from the beginning," Theo said as a greeting.

"Hold on a sec," Elle said to Theo.

With her phone at her ear, she grabbed a basket of pastries. Her mother looked up from the table, and Elle pointed to the basket of fat, butter, and yes, please and thank you, carbs. She said, "Just going to take this back to the kitchen. I'll let them know we don't need this kind of food."

Caroline gave a stiff nod of approval before turning back to her conversation with a bridesmaid.

Elle found a server who directed her to a private corner on the opposite side of the restaurant.

"I'm back," she said once she was settled.

"The connection is bad," Theo said. "Your voice sounds funny."

Elle chewed and swallowed. “It’s not the connection. It’s because I’m stuffing my face with pastries.”

Theo paused. "Sounds like an excellent choice."

"Yeah, well. I also had champagne."

"A glass?"

"An unknown quantity." At least, Elle tried to say those words. She may have said something different. Words were being difficult.

"Eat then," Theo said. "But tell me everything."

Once again—this time between bites of donuts, danish, and chocolate éclairs—Elle told the story. She started from where she'd last left off with Theo, giving her the scoop on her dinner with Carter, up to the night she spent with Justin.

“All of this happened before you came to my inn, but I’m only hearing it now? No wonder you disappeared.”

“I texted you,” Elle said, feeling guilty.

“Not about this,” Theo argued. “Never mind that now. Tell me about last night.”

Elle paused to lick a bit of chocolate off her fingers.

Theo added, "I'm a single mother of two boys. You will give me details."

"I will," Elle promised. "I'm just trying to figure out how to put it into words. It started with this kiss …”

Theo made a noise. "Sounds like more than a kiss."

“The kiss was ... something else all right. There was moonlight and music, and hand to God, Theo, it was the most romantic moment of my life. When he kissed me, I felt it in my bones, you know?"

Theo sighed. "I hate you right now."

"What? Why?"

Theo sighed. "I haven't been kissed like that since before the boys were born. I don't even care about sex right now. Or orgasms. Well, I do, but really I just want to be held. Like I'm something ... cherished."

The line went quiet.

Theo's voice turned brisk. "But we're not talking about my pitiful lack of a love life. We're talking about you. What are you going to do?"

If her friend wasn't ready to talk, then Elle wouldn't push. She put aside the basket of pastries. Okay, yes, it was empty, but she was also was no longer ravenous. Progress.

"Well, Carter offered to go to the wedding with me.”

"I just threw up in my mouth."

“I didn’t take him up on it! But I thought about it. Then Justin offered to go with me … but I turned him down.”

“Oh, Elle.”

“I know.” Elle’s voice turned quiet. “I think I messed this up.”

Elle shook her head, even though her friend couldn't see her. "My feelings have been all over the place. First Carter doing what he did, then Justin being just so … annoying and amazing and unfairly attractive—“

“Amen. The man could make a garbage bag look sexy.”

"Theo, you're supposed to be helping."

"I am being helpful," Theo argued. "It sounds to me like you know the person your heart wants, but your head is getting in the way. And your head sounds a lot like your mother."

Elle hated that Theo was echoing the thoughts that had driven her into a panic.

“It doesn’t matter if I want Justin. My mother would never approve.”

Elle glanced at the other end of the restaurant, worried her thoughts might somehow summon Caroline.

Theo huffed. "Would that seriously be the worst thing that could happen? I mean, come on, Elle. You're an adult. You make your own choices. Last I checked you were a badass research librarian. You make giggling undergrads quiver in their skinny jeans."

"That's not really my job—“ Elle started.

"Don't interrupt. I’m making a point.”

"Right, sorry."

"Your mother would get over it. She’d have to. Go to the wedding and eat cake. Then find Justin and apologize for being a judgmental idiot.”

“That's a bit harsh."

"Elle?" Her mother came around the corner, looking agitated. "What are you doing hiding in the corner? Is that chocolate on your face?"

"I have to go," Elle said to Theo. She swiped at her face, then licked her fingers. Her mother’s expression soured.

"Be strong," Theo said.

Elle thanked her friend then turned to face her mother, thinking she didn’t need strength, but a really strong drink.

* * *

Elle followed Caroline to the restaurant bathroom to, as her mother said with a pointed look at Elle's face, "freshen up." There was a long powder room with a mirror lit by low, flattering light. The flattering light didn't hide Elle's hair, which was a mess from her morning attempts to comb it out with her fingers. Nor did the light hide the remnants of pastries—powdered sugar and thick chocolate icing.

"Elle, I don't know what's wrong with you," her mother was saying. She removed a compact from her pocketbook and began touching up her makeup. "It's your sister's wedding. Couldn't you be a bit more presentable? You are the Maid of Honor, after all."

Elle watched her mother.

Caroline had fine lines running from the corners of her eyes and mouth. Lines she tried to hide beneath thick makeup. Elle thought her mother might have had work done, too, but she wasn't sure.

She knew Caroline wanted what was best for her daughters. She wanted them to be accepted and treated with respect—those were the values she herself had been raised to desire. Now, it was what she wanted for Elle and Lucy.

"Mother," Elle said. She met Caroline's gaze in the mirror. “I need to tell you something.” She took a deep breath. “I broke up with Carter.“

Caroline froze. “Excuse me?”

“He had sex with another woman. But it was more than that. He wasn’t right for me.”

“What are you going on about?” Caroline’s forehead pulled taught, the skin unlined but strained. “Surely there was a misunderstanding. If you and Carter had a disagreement, I’m certain you can apologize. It’s not like you want to go to your baby sister’s wedding alone. I mean, really. What an embarrassment.”

Caroline turned back to the mirror. She pulled a tube of lipstick from her bag and applied it with quick, angry swipes. The red was stark against the pale powder on her face. "Come now, Elle. We don't have time for this. Freshen up, then we can return to the brunch." She fluffed her hair.

Elle couldn’t look at her mother for a full minute. When she glanced up, she saw her mother's bone structure in her own face. The fine lines of her jaw, her upturned nose, her smooth cheekbones. But she also saw beyond her reflection. She saw a future of loneliness and spite, of always worrying about what others thought. She saw herself becoming a brittle shell. Just like her mother.

The thought scared her. More than that, it shook everything she'd ever believed about the way the world worked to its core.

Elle thought of Justin.

Of his laugh, his kindness, his understanding, and acceptance. She was horrible to him and he'd been nothing but ... well—heaven knew the man wasn’t perfect, but he was sweet and romantic, challenging and sexy. He was good for her, in a million ways she would never have guessed.

What have I done?

Elle had pushed him away because he’d hurt her, made her angry. No, because he hurt her pride and she didn’t want to want him because he didn’t fit her perfect vision of her future. Even admitting it to herself made her feel sick.

She couldn't turn back time. She couldn't erase her mistakes.

But she could stop living beneath the dictates of her mother's world. She could start living for herself.

Elle squared her shoulders. This time, she turned to face her mother—without the mirror, without anything between them. She’d ruined her chances with Justin—something she'd carry with her for the rest of her life—but she wouldn't let her own life pass her by, not for another moment.

"Mother, I’m not going to apologize to Carter. I didn’t do anything wrong. He did.”

Caroline’s gaze was heavy, tinged with judgment.

Elle wasn’t done. “I know how much you wanted me to be with Carter, but he didn’t treat me the way he should and I’m tired of pretending that’s okay. I’d rather be on my own that with someone who doesn’t love me.”

She stopped, breathing hard as though she’d just sprinted to the finish line.

Caroline’s mouth twisted. “I should have known you’d ruin your relationship with Carter. I should have known better than to waste my time by trying to help you.”

Elle crossed her arms over her chest. She hadn’t expected her mother to understand. Not really. But a tiny kernel of hope was crushed with each and every word.

“I don’t nag you about how you dress or who you date because it’s fun, Elle. Everything I’ve done, all the connections I’ve made, I did it for you, so that you could have a good life. All that, and you throw it in my face.” Caroline shook her head. “Fine, Elle. You broke up with Carter? That’s just perfect. Do what you want, I know you will no matter what I say.”

She stepped close to Elle. “But you will not speak one word of this to anyone. Do you hear me? I won’t have you cause this family any further embarrassment. I won’t have you ruin Lucy’s special day. We’ll say Carter is sick. Or had a work emergency. Anything but the truth.” She looked Elle up and down. “Now I want you to clean yourself up and get back to the party. People will talk, and I won’t have it.”

She waited until Elle nodded, reluctantly, then pushed past her, leaving Elle in a cloud of her favorite perfume. Elle waited until she was certain her mother was gone before she turned to face her reflection.

Her hair was a mess. She wasn’t wearing makeup, and a bit of powdered sugar was smeared on one cheek. Her lips were still stung from Justin’s kisses. His stubble had left her with red marks on her neck.

There were years of her life when she wouldn’t leave the house without straightening her hair or putting on “her face.” When she caught sight of herself without makeup, she’d cringe. It was like seeing a stranger, someone she wouldn’t want to be acquainted with if she met them on the street.

Now, though, Elle admired the glint of determination in her eyes. The way she stood, as though she were proud to be herself. Proud to be honest about who she was and what she wanted. Without changing a single thing, Elle headed out to rejoin her sister’s party.

No matter what her mother said, Elle thought she’d never looked better.

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