Brooke
We have a busy few days ahead of us. Everyone in the bridal party will be here shortly for the rehearsal dinner and I have to say my body is racked with both nerves and excitement. I’m really excited for Remy and Kenzie’s big day tomorrow, but I haven’t seen or spoken to Vaughn much, and I know he’ll be here tonight. We’ve managed a few text messages throughout the week, but that’s it. I can’t help but feel like he’s avoiding me. We really need to talk or I need to move on, and that will crush me. I’m hoping he at least gives me the chance to tell him how I feel about him.
“Hey, sis.” Keaton walks in the door and for once he’s early. Actually, now that I think about it, he hasn’t been late since that family dinner when Mama yelled at him and smacked him hard on the back of the head. I guess she’s finally gotten through to him.
“Hey, Keaton.” He kisses me on the cheek and hugs me.
“Look here,” Mama calls out, picking up her camera and taking a photo of my brother and I. Mama has become quite the photographer. I heard her telling my father she wants to take some photography classes when she retires to give her something to do. I can’t really see her giving up teaching, she loves her kids, but I can tell she’d also make a great photographer, so maybe she can combine her loves and photograph children. “Keaton, can you go help your father with the chairs around the yard?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’m just going to drop my stuff upstairs first.” She nods at him and he runs off.
I point over my shoulder with my thumb. “What’s up with him?”
“Whatever do you mean?” I give Mama a look. “To make up for scaring me, he promised to help with the setup today. He apologized, and now he’s trying to be better about being on time.”
I nod. “Good. What’s with the bag?”
“It’s hot, dear. The man will need a shower before the party starts later.”
“I’m glad he’s here to help.”
“Me too. Now come here and help me with this mac and cheese. I’m surprising Kenzie with it as part of dinner.”
My eyes go wide. “Is that her mama’s famous recipe?”
Mama smiles. “It is. I managed to get it from Aunt Kenderly.”
“Oh, you sneaky woman, you. You love this dish. Did you do it for Kenzie or so you could have it too?”
Mama gives me a side grin. “Brooke Leah Bennett, I did this for Kenzie. Now if that happens to mean I have the recipe for future use, well, I guess I’m a lucky woman, but I will always give credit where credit is due.” She gives me a stern look.
“Yes, ma’am.” I nudge her jokingly with my shoulder and she giggles, but we both get busy following the directions for the recipe, hoping to do it justice. I have no doubt it will be delicious, Mama is an amazing cook, and the recipe isn’t hard to follow.
Keaton comes running through the kitchen and out the back door to help my father get the backyard set up. We aren’t doing any decorations because people will be here early tomorrow to set the yard up for the wedding, and we don’t want a ton of cleanup at the end of the night. Mama is having some of today’s food catered to make life a bit easier. She’s ordered pulled pork, fried chicken, shrimp, and a vegetarian dish. We’re busy making the sides to go with it all. I made potato salad yesterday and Mama is boiling eggs for deviled eggs. As always, she’s over doing it, but that’s the way Mama is. I keep trying to remind her that the caterer will have tons more food tomorrow, but she won’t hear it.
Everyone is due here in a couple of hours and Keaton just ran up to shower. That means I’ll need to go next. I throw the green bean casserole into the top oven to get it going. “I’m heading upstairs to get my stuff ready.”
“Okay, dear. Thanks for your help.” I kiss Mama on the cheek and run upstairs to get ready.
I pass Keaton in the hallway. He’s walking toward his room wearing nothing but a towel. I shake my head. He’s always doing that and it used to annoy the hell out of me. Of course, he’s lived alone for a while now, so he probably thinks nothing of it. I grab my clothes and run to the bathroom to begin the process of getting ready. I’m making quick work of it. I want to be back downstairs when Vaughn gets here. I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen him and I’m hoping to spend some time with him today.
I make it back down before any of our guests arrive, but Kenzie and Remy are here, along with her aunt and uncle. I quickly say hello and go back to the kitchen to see what I can help Mama with. When she tells me she’s all set, it leaves me feeling antsy and lost. I need to keep myself occupied or I’ll go crazy waiting for him to get here. I begin wiping down the island in the kitchen where Mama and I had been working earlier. “I already did that, dear, but thank you.” I nod my head and dry it off. I’m starting to wish I took longer to get ready when Dawson comes in carrying Becky, and Kayla has Beau.
“Hey guys.” I take Becky from my brother. “Hey pretty girl.” She giggles and squirms from me tickling her.
“Dad’s out back. I’m going to go take her into the yard.” I walk out back with her and put her down in the grass. She runs to the bin my parents have with her yard toys in them. When I get back inside, Remy is holding Beau, playing with him.
“We should all go outside. People are going to be arriving soon.” We all step back outside, and sure enough Lilly is walking into the backyard.
We’re now waiting on Vaughn and the priest to get here to go through the rehearsal. The caterer is talking to my mom about the food they have to set up and where she wants it. While she’s handling that, Keaton is playing with Becky in the grass and my father sits enjoying a beer. “Are you excited, Kenzie?”
“I’m so excited. It’s funny because I thought I would be nervous, but I’m really not. I can’t wait to get the ceremony over with and have some fun.”
“You may be nervous in the morning.” Aunt Kenderly nudges her shoulder.
“Maybe, but I don’t think so.” She smiles at her aunt.
Remy comes over and kisses her on the cheek. “She’ll be fine. She’s such a strong, confident woman, I have no doubt she’ll get through it no problem.”
“Awww, what did you do wrong that you have to kiss up, Rem?” I bust my brother’s balls.
He puts me in a headlock and starts to noogie me. “I didn’t do anything, brat.”
“Hey, stop. You’ll mess my hair.”
“Don’t mess her hair, dude. You’ll never hear the end of it.” I hear Vaughn’s voice and instantly smile. He lets go of me and shakes hands with his boy. “What’s up, man? Sorry I’m a bit late. Things are really crazy at work.”
“Don’t stress it, man, just glad you can be here.”
I smile shyly at him. It’s weird being with him with my family around. We haven’t spent much time together in front of them and the last time we were together at my parents’ we actually didn’t spend much time together, he hung with my brother more. He gives me a small smile, but I can tell he’s still keeping his distance. The smile looks slightly forced and it breaks me a bit. I need to hold it together through the wedding tomorrow and then I can discuss our relationship and where it’s going, if anywhere. It may even be time that I’m honest and tell him how I feel about him.
The priest shows up and he pulls Kenzie and Remy aside to go over the details of the wedding. When they are ready, he makes a quick announcement, and in no time we’ve managed to practice walking down the fake aisle that will be set up in the morning. The archway is already in place but it hasn’t been decorated yet. Mom had it delivered today, that way we could see where it would be and have an idea on how we would be walking through the yard.
As soon as we’re done, Mom announces that dinner is ready. Everyone walks over to the buffet that is set up on the deck to make our plates. I’m sweating and my stomach doesn’t feel well from the tension rolling off of Vaughn. We have to walk down the aisle together, and I know it was set up that way because we’re dating, but now I wish it weren’t. His touch lights my skin on fire, and right now I’m not sure I affect him the same way he does me.
I make a small plate and make my way down to the table to sit with Mom, Dad, Aunt Kenderly, and Uncle Jasper. I take a seat and Aunt Kenderly smiles at me. “How’s the new job?”
“It’s amazing. I absolutely love what I do.” I smile at the easy question.
“It has to be hard some days,” Uncle Jasper says.
“Of course. There are days when I’m on-call and I have to go in for emergencies, or we have to put a pet down, but I think the hardest part for me is when someone doesn’t pay attention to their animal and they end up eating something that can seriously hurt them. One woman told me she watched her cat eat something because she was afraid to reach into the cat’s mouth and take it out. We had to operate to remove a piece of her kid’s toy from its stomach.” I shake my head. “It’s hard to not let my emotions and my personal feelings get in the way.”
“That’s awful.”
“I know, and we had to give the cat back to her. Lord only knows what she’ll let the cat eat next.” I shake my head. The conversation continues on with crazy stories my father and I have experienced, he in the human medical field and I in my pet world, and before I know it, we’ve been talking for well over an hour.
I excuse myself to throw my plate away, and that’s when I notice Vaughn is no longer in the yard. He’d been sitting with Remy, Kenzie, Lilly, and Keaton. I can’t help but wonder where he’s gone. I’m standing by the food table, scanning the yard, when Remy walks over. “Hey, have you seen Vaughn? I’m a little worried. He disappeared about twenty minutes ago.”
“I’ll find him.” Dropping my plate in the trash, I head into the house to use the bathroom. The downstairs bathroom is empty, but I run to the upstairs one to leave it open for guests. When I get there, I see him.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” I stand behind Vaughn, checking out his muscular body through the fitted t-shirt he’s wearing.
He flinches slightly, then turns to face me and his eyes go slightly wide. “I wouldn’t call it avoiding you. I’ve just been busy.” His voice is snippy, like he wants no part of this conversation.
My brows shoot up. “I would call it avoiding me. Why? Why can’t you simply talk to me?”
Sudden frustration flashes across his handsome face. “Because I’m broken, Brooke. I’m not the same man you met all those summers ago. You have no idea what my life is like. The things I’ve seen, they haunt me in my sleep. The roadside bombs I’ve watched wiping out half a convoy; the gunfire that takes place while we try to recover men and a few broken down trucks; or how about this…have you ever seen one of your guys drop as he’s standing right beside you, dying at your feet from his battle wound? These things haunt me on a daily basis. For a short time, I thought I had it under control, but I don’t, and I don’t know what to do.” He pauses, but he’s panting, and part of me wants to respond, but part of me wants to let him continue. I decide to give him a minute. “I can’t even fucking stay for the fireworks tomorrow night because I’m afraid I’ll either have a flashback or a panic attack, and I don’t want to embarrass you or your family.” A tear rolls down his cheek. “I’m standing here torn, Brooke. When you’re not with me…” his words trail off as he tries to calm himself down. “When you’re not with me, I’m a mess and I fucking miss you. When you’re with me, I fear I’m going to hurt you or embarrass myself again. I don’t know if I should push you away and fight the pain I feel in my chest when we’re not together, or hold you close and try to love you, risking it all.” I assume when he says risking it all, he’s referring to losing both myself and his friend, but Remy would never turn his back on Vaughn.
He’s leaning against my bedroom door, staring inside with tears running down his face. I get it now, he came up here to think about me, to think about us, and now I know what I have to do. I wrap my arms around his waist, pressing my face to his chest, and inhale his scent. “Oh, Vaughn, you may be a broken man, but you’re my broken man, and you need to see that love can heal many things. I made a mistake when I walked out on you the other day. I should have shown you that I would support you and be there for you, and instead I ran. I’m so sorry.”
He sniffles and kisses the top of my head. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed this, holding you in my arms. I feel like it’s been forever.”
“I’ve missed it too.” I plant a kiss on his chest.
He let’s go to wipe away his tears. “I’ve never thought I needed help before. I always told everyone I was fine. Shit, even at my evaluation after my last deployment I told them all I was good. I lied about the nightmares because I thought I could handle it, I didn’t think it was a big deal, but now I’m starting to think different. I’ve been home for quite some time now and the nightmares have gotten worse again. I had a panic attack the other day in my office.” I rub his back, encouraging him to continue speaking. “I’m so thankful I was in my office and not in front of my guys. I was able to calm myself down, but it took me a while, and then Callen walked in toward the end. He knew something was wrong and told me I needed to get fucking help.” He shakes his head. “Dude finally fucking yelled at me.”
“You’ve been through a lot and always have guys leaning on you. It’s time you lean on someone else. I’m not saying you have to regale me with stories of your past, but let me help you. I want to be there for you. I love you.” I gasp. I don’t want him freaking out at those words. I’ve been holding back because I wanted him to admit he needed help, and I wanted to wait until I knew it wouldn’t cause him to push me away even more out of fear, but the words came out so naturally
He pulls away and looks into my eyes, searching. I’m trying to show him I mean it. I’ve had a crush on him for so long now that I think I’ve loved him from the minute he first kissed me. “God, I love you too, Brooke.” His lips crash down on mine, hard. I can taste his tears mixed in with the beers he’s had.
When he pulls away, we’re both panting. “Go use the bathroom right there and wash your face. My brother is worried, but I told him I would look for you.” He nods and wanders into the bathroom to clean up while I wait for him by my bedroom. When he comes out he looks a lot better, but I can still see concern on his face. “Listen, I promise to help you through this.”
He gives me a tight smile and kisses me on top of the head one more time. “Thanks, Brooke.”
“Come on. Let’s get back outside.” He puts his arm around me and we make our way back downstairs. When we get there we find everyone picking up the yard in preparation for the big day.
We both start folding up chairs and setting them aside when Remy comes over. “You good, man?”
“Ya know, for the first time I’m starting to think I will be.” He winks at me and I know he’s slipping his mask back into place so he won’t worry Remy the night before the big day, but I won’t give up and I’ll stay on him. I have to. I love him and I want to see him get better.
They hug it out. “I’m glad to hear it. Remember, no matter what, Vibe, I’m here for you.”
“Thanks, man. Listen, do you guys need more help? If not, I think I’m going to head home and try to get some sleep before tomorrow.”
I give him a warm smile. “Go, we’re fine, but you have to do me a favor.”
“What’s that?”
“Give Brody a hug for me.”
He laughs. “You got it. He’s a good boy and is feeling so much better. Thank you for helping me find him. I’m not sure where I would be right now without him.”
“Drive careful.” I press up on my toes to give him a kiss.
“I will. Good night, beautiful.”
“Good night.” I watch him walk out of the yard with his head down. I can almost see the wheels turning as he heads toward his car.
My brother puts his arm around me. “Is he really as good as he says he is?”
“Not yet, but I won’t give up on him, and he’s made the first step. He’s admitted that he needs help, now we just have to help him get it.” He kisses me on the head.
I look up to see a pained expression on his face. “Please make sure you let me know if I can help in any way. That’s my boy and I want to be there for him.”
“I will, now go get some rest. You’re getting married tomorrow.” He chuckles and runs into the house. He’s spending the night here and we’re all getting ready at their place tomorrow. It’s going to be a gorgeous day for a wedding.