We had to go back to the hotel to clean up since we were both a sweaty mess in the front of the truck. I didn’t mind spending more time with her. I wasn’t sure how much time I had left with her after Tim told me the real reason he wanted me back home. I was heading straight for Laney and didn’t even know it.

I had no idea she left. It wasn’t something I thought she would’ve done. That was her home. It was mine as well, but I didn’t have any ties. She didn’t have any after her father went to prison. With her mother dead and no brothers or sisters to keep her there, she really didn’t have a reason to stay.

I wasn’t sure I would’ve changed my mind about leaving had I known she was leaving, too. Too much had happened there for me to start over. I got my second chance after I destroyed that bar. I didn’t deserve another one.

I looked at Maggie while she blow-dried her hair for the second time that day. I didn’t know what was happening with us, but I was grateful for whatever it was and for however long I had it. When the banker put the form in front of me for my personal information, I was halfway through with it when I realized I’d written her address down. It did feel like home to me there.

I could be myself and have bad days without them being thrown back in my face. She witnessed some of my moods and still hung on to me. I didn’t deserve her, but I wanted her. I needed her in my life.

Part of me wished I’d never learned about Laney’s child. I would’ve been on the way back to the gym with Maggie to start a life that was new to me. I wanted that life with her. I wasn’t sure how she did it, but she crept into my soul. I didn’t think I’d ever feel whole without her again.

“Hey.” Maggie had finished drying her hair, but I’d stopped paying attention. “What’s with this heaviness in the corner over here?” She lifted my face up to look at her. “Talk to me.”

I placed my forehead to her chest and gripped her hips. “I’m just nervous.”

“I think you should call her. Set up a time and a place to meet.”

“She thinks I’m dead. I’m supposed to just call her up and say by the way?”

“It’s better than showing up like a ghost.” She bent over my body that was still clinging to hers and rubbed my back. “You could always call Bryce and meet with him first.”

“I don’t trust him.”

She backed up and held my face up again. “I thought you said he was a good guy.”

“He is to Laney. He hates my guts. There’s no way he’s going to agree to any kind of test. He’d rather not know.”

“You have to decide what you want before you go to them. What are you going to do if he’s your child?” She sat next to me on the bed and took my hands. “Forget about Laney, Bryce, or anyone else. What does Brody want?”

“You’re forgetting the most important person.” I looked at her and tried to keep the emotion out of my voice. I didn’t cry. It wasn’t in me, but the thought of ripping this kid from the only parents he knew was gutting me. I was selfish to want to know if he was mine, but I couldn’t wonder that for the rest of my life.

* * *

I tried to talk to Tim before Maggie and I boarded our plane, but he refused. He didn’t go into work, and he wouldn’t answer his phone. He was a grown man who didn’t need me as a babysitter. We had to fly back to pick up my truck before heading home, so I’d try to talk to him again then.

I rented an SUV from the airport. I didn’t know the area at all, but I didn’t want a cab driver listening to our private conversations. I also didn’t want a witness if Maggie decided to do more off-roading. I smiled and looked at her while waiting for the light to turn green.

“Hey, do you think there’s more room up here than in my truck?” I waggled my eyebrows when she looked at me.

“Oh, I’d really love to test this car out.” She patted the gearshift. “This should be real comfortable for you.”

I eased out when the light changed. “Damn. I didn’t think about that.” My truck had bench seats. There was no threat of impaling gearshifts there.

I glanced down as Maggie stroked the gearshift as if it were a cock in her hand. “You don’t think this looks enticing?” She flicked her thumb over the top as if it were the tip of my dick.

I smiled and shook my head. “I’ll order one for you if you’d like to take it for a test drive, but I’m not willing to lose my deposit on this car.”

She shoved me before she laughed. “Just keep driving. It might be the only thing you drive for a while.”

“Is that a challenge? I’m up for a challenge no matter how easy it would be.”

“Did you just call me easy?”

I reached over and squeezed her leg. “Only for me, babe.” The banter between us helped to keep the mood light and my mind off what I was about to do, but we would need to have a serious discussion regardless of the outcome. Witty banter and amazing sex were great, but I wanted to know if there was more between us. I needed to figure out if I wanted more before I asked what she thought of us.

I drove down the street, looking at the house numbers. My stomach was tied in knots. I wasn’t sure how I was going to react when I saw Laney again. I spent the last few years trying to push her from my mind, and it wasn’t easy.

I wasn’t sure how Laney would react, either. It probably wasn’t the best idea to tell her I died. It was selfish. I didn’t want to face her back then. I didn’t want to face her at all, but with the chance of that little boy being mine, I had to come to grips with how I felt, and I had no idea what that was.

I bent forward over the steering wheel and looked at the numbers again. “It has to be coming up.”

Maggie placed her hand on my leg and squeezed. “I know you’re nervous, but this is a good thing. I’m right here with you.”

I stopped the car a few houses up from where hers had to be. My heart was beating so fast. I had been thinking about the little boy who could be mine that, until that moment, I didn’t give Laney any real thought. I was about to see her after I swore I’d never look into those eyes again.

Maggie rubbed my back when I covered my face and leaned on the steering wheel. “You can do this. You need to do this.”

She was right. It needed to be done, but I wasn’t sure I could do it. I sat up, took a deep breath, and drove forward. I had to do it. Even though they wouldn’t admit it, Laney and Bryce would need the closure, too. It had to be eating at Laney if she was keeping it a secret.

I parked one house down and got out of the car. Maggie got out and waited for me on her side. I was grateful for her strength. I drew from it and took her hand. “Let’s go.”

“I’m surprised she wanted to meet you at her house.”

I didn’t respond. She expected me to make the call before we left. She didn’t want us to waste a trip, and I didn’t want to warn them I was coming. They could’ve taken the kids and run. I’d never know the answer.

She stopped and pulled on my hand to stop me. “Brody, you did call. Tell me you called.”

“And run the risk of them taking off? No way.”

“Oh, Brody. You just made this so much harder.”

I turned back to her and let go of her hand. “Then go back to the car. I don’t fucking need you.” I saw the hurt in her eyes before I turned around, but I kept walking. It was the biggest lie I’d ever told in my entire life, but I wouldn’t admit to anyone I needed them. I sure as hell didn’t need her disappointment or judgment.

I took the porch steps in one quick leap but didn’t move any farther than standing in front of her door. I could hear her inside, and I froze.

“William, will you please keep it down? I know you’re not tired, but the rest of us are.”

Her voice was exactly as I remembered it, though a little more exasperated. I startled when Maggie slipped her fingers into the palm of my hand. My shoulders dropped when I realized what I said to her.

I turned to say something, but she covered my lips with her finger. “Just ring the bell. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

I took her hand and kissed it before turning and hovering over the doorbell. She took my wrist and pressed my finger into the button. I panicked and stepped to the side before Laney opened the door.

Maggie’s eyes grew wide when she saw me hiding. “Get over here.” She stopped motioning with her hand and looked at the door when it opened.

“May I help you?”

“Uh, I’m sorry. Are you Laney?”

“Do I know you?”

“No, but we have a mutual, um, acquaintance.”

“Who is it, Mommy?”

I took one step toward the sound of what could’ve been my child, but stopped myself before I scared him. I didn’t want the first memory to be one he was afraid of.

“William, it’s nothing. Please go play in your room so you don’t wake your brother and sister.”

“Did she bring us something?”

“No, it doesn’t look like that. Now, go play or I’ll lay you down for a nap since you’re not listening.”

I heard the noise his feet made when he ran away. It sounded so tiny. I may have missed my only chance to see him, but I couldn’t scare him.

Laney sounded as if she was running out of patience. “I think I’m going to ask you to leave.”

“But, if you could just give me a moment of your time.”

“That’s just it. I don’t have time. I have to lay this one down before he wakes up and try to get something done before him or his sister decides to cut naptime short.”

“It will only take a moment.”

“Who sent you? What do you want?”

I took a deep breath and came around the corner. She was just as beautiful as the first day I saw her as she bounced a baby in her arms, hoping to keep him asleep. She looked from the baby to me and her entire demeanor changed. She stopped rocking the child and took half a step back as her eyes grew wide and her jaw opened in shock. I watched as her chest slowly rose, but no air had come back out. She had the same look when she passed out in my garage the first day I took her home.

Maggie and I reached out at the same time when Laney’s eyes closed. I held Laney up long enough for Maggie to take the baby, and then I picked her up and carried her back inside.

I looked at her face as I held her in my arms and prepared for the punch in the gut I thought I’d feel being that close to her again. It never came. I felt almost nothing for the woman in my arms. I laid her body on the sofa and looked her over. I felt none of the feelings I once had for her. I wanted her to be happy, but I didn’t want that to be with me anymore.

I stepped away from her and looked around the living room. One thing caught my eye and made me smile. The red soda can I crushed was on display on the top of a built-in bookcase next to the fireplace. As silly as it was, that was her link to home. Laney and Bryce met in front of a cooler at a convenience store and she couldn’t bear to part with it.

I allowed her the comfort until one night she pushed me too far. I crushed it, trying to crush her resolve to be free and dedication to Bryce. It didn’t work. She hid it from me and put it back together. When I found the can on the floor next to her bed, it was when I knew nothing would ever crush her love for Bryce. I knew I had to take her back home.

I went to look at the photos on the other shelves. Wedding photos surrounded the can. It wasn’t a big wedding, but they both looked happy. I looked closer. She had a small belly on her. She was already pregnant before their wedding. The date on one of the frames showed it was three months after she was released.

I looked back to her when she stirred but watched as Maggie rocked the baby she took from Laney to keep him from waking up. She looked good with a baby in her arms. I hoped she got the chance to be the mother she wanted to be some day.

My attention snapped back to Laney when she stood. “Give me my baby back.” She looked as if she was ready to rip Maggie’s head off. I had no doubt she’d give it a good try.

I stepped between them, and she backed off. “No one is here to hurt you or your baby.” I motioned for Maggie to give the baby to Laney. “See? No one wants to hurt you.”

She took the baby and held him close to her chest. “Then you should’ve stayed dead.” She covered her mouth with a shaky hand as the tears came. “Please don’t take me again.”

“Laney, have a seat. I don’t want you to pass out again with that baby in your arms.” I sat across the room from her and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “I’m not taking you. I’m sorry I lied. I’m sorry I had Tim lie to you, but this reaction proves I did the right thing. You’d constantly be worried about me coming back.”

She shook her head as she tried to stop crying. “You changed, Brody.” She covered her mouth again as she sobbed. She was trying to keep quiet. “I thought you did.”

“Because of you. I never would’ve had I not met you. I would’ve stayed that same sorry ass excuse for a human.” I reached down and adjusted my jeans over my shoes. I was nervous and fidgeting, but I didn’t know what to do. “I wanted to give you a clean slate. Your dad was going to prison for a long time, I hoped.” I stopped fidgeting and looked at her. “You deserved to be happy without looking over your shoulder.”

“It crushed me when they told me you were dead. The guilt suffocated me.” She took the tissue box Maggie offered her. “Why now? Why come back like this?”

A small child, whom I assumed was William, stepped out into the room, and I stood up. “Why are you crying, Mommy?”

“Oh, it’s just baby feelings, sweetie. There’s nothing to worry about.”

He turned to me and pointed at her. “She gets baby feelings a lot when we get a new baby.” He took a step toward me, but Laney stopped him.

“William, please come sit with me. You know how to stop the baby feelings the best.”

He turned back to me and nodded with his hands on his hips. “It’s true. I’m the bestest to stop Mommy from crying.” He ran up and jumped on the sofa next to her. She wrapped her arm around him and pulled him closer to her side. She knew he was the reason I came out of the shadows.

“It isn’t what you think.” Laney couldn’t say what she wanted to, but I knew what she was referring to.

“So, you’ve confirmed it?” I wasn’t going to ruin a child’s life no matter the outcome. Telling him that he had a different father would do nothing but confuse him. It didn’t mean I wouldn’t be a part of his life. I’d settle for the long-distance uncle until he was old enough to hear the truth.

“I don’t need to. I know in my heart.”

I sat back and shook my head. “Well, since I don’t have a heart to feel it in, I’ll take the scientific method, please.”

“You probly got a big heart.” He tugged on Laney’s sleeve. “Look how big his hands are.” He looked at his hands and looked at mine.

“I know, baby. Brody has a bigger heart than he gives himself credit for.”

The front door opened and shut, and I heard someone climbing the steps. Things were about to get real. “Laney. William. I’m home.” Bryce turned the corner as he was ready to yell Laney’s name again, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. He didn’t have the same reaction, though.

He charged me, rolled his shoulder, and shoved it into my gut. I was still sore from the tackle hit I received from Tim, but I would’ve let him take me to the ground if I hadn’t been sore. He needed to feel as if he was the one in control. I wasn’t there to threaten either of them, but I wasn’t above it if that was what it took to get the answers I needed.