Charlie
I can only stare at a muted TV for so long. I need to call Jett. If I do it over the phone, it will be easier for me. Plus, if I just do it, I can stop thinking about how I need to do it.
I start to dial but set my cell on the couch cushion next to me. How much of what we had was lie? Was Whit telling me the truth when she said he’d just found out? The list of questions I have for him just keeps getting longer and longer.
Commotion outside my door grabs my attention. I stand slowly to go spy through the peephole when a knock at my door startles me.
I freeze in the living room and want to break into tears. I’m so tired of being scared. Of never knowing who could just show up.
I tiptoe to the door and squint to see who is there.
I sigh and my shoulders relax as my head drops forward.
Jett.
I open the door only enough for my body to fit between the frame and door. I don’t say anything.
He releases an even bigger sigh of relief than I just let out when he sees me. He takes a step, but stops himself halfway through, returning to where he stood when I shrink back. Crap. Inside I’m fighting between hugging him and kissing him because nothing feels right without him, or slapping him across the face for betraying me.
“Charlie, please let me in to explain,” he begs.
I shake my head.
“Please.”
“Jett, you had more than enough time to explain anything and everything you ever wanted to me and you didn’t.”
“I would have told you, eventually, when the time was right.”
“No, you’re only telling me now because you got caught.”
“That’s not even close to true. I didn’t know how to tell you. How do you tell someone something like that?”
“Je—”
“Jett!” Sam hollers from behind me. “Did you come to play goalie with me and Max?” he asks, forcing his small body between us.
“No, bud, I came to talk to your mom today,” Jett says, his voice normal and cheerful. “Maybe next weekend?”
“Okay, yeah, why are you standing out here and not inside like you usually do?”
“Well—”
“Sam, Jett can’t stay to talk,” I cut in.
“Why not? Oh, we got our new jerseys! Want to see them?” he asks, completely forgetting the part where I said Jett can’t stay.
Both boys give me pleading eyes. I sigh and wave for Jett to come in.
“I’ll be right back,” Sam says, dashing down the hall.
Jett uses his invitation to his advantage and passes right by me for the living room.
“What are you doing?” I ask, keeping my voice calm so Sam won’t hear me.
“I will tell you anything you want to know about today, about your sister, about everything in between, if you just listen to me.”
His reaches down to pull my hands into his. He lifts them to his mouth and kisses my knuckles, pulling me closer to him.
“Please, Charlie. I don’t want to lose you.”
I need answers, but looking at him makes my breath catch in my throat. I knew I should have just called him.
“I can’t find it. I might have left it with Max,” Sam says, “Can I go next door to see if it’s there?”
I nod, wiping at my eyes. Thank goodness Sam broke the look Jett was giving me. The look that reminds me how much I’ve fallen for him and miss him.
“Yes, be really quick, okay?” I say to Sam.
“’kay!”
When I hear his small hand knock on Whit’s door, I turn back to Jett, ready to get all the answers I’ve been looking for. Now might be my only chance.
“How did you meet my sister?” I ask.
“During an assignment.”
“On Drew?”
“Yes.”
“Did she come to you? You know, to work with you.”
His head drops and my heart skips.
“I picked up on her fear of him, the way she kept their son away from him, and how she wanted him to leave her alone. But he wouldn’t stop. So, I thought I would give her an opportunity.”
I lick my lips and take a deep breath. An opportunity that killed her.
“I thought it would take a lot to convince her, but it didn’t. Her number one priority was that boy across the hall. She wanted him safe and away from Drew.”
I nod, knowing Kenzie really would have done anything for Sam. So, I have no doubts that Jett is telling the truth about that.
“How long did you two work together?” I ask.
“A month. Drew was my first assignment. Took me three months to get him, and I only did because of your sister’s help. That night, nothing went according to plan. I just needed him to say one more line and then we would have what we needed, but he saw the wire. That night was the worst of my entire life.”
“Why didn’t someone tell me after? I mean, why was it still a secret?”
“It’s just the way things work. We couldn’t reveal anything and put anyone she may have told in danger.”
I still feel … lost, on the part where he knew my sister and on the part where I always knew there was more going on than the police report stated. All these years, I just wanted someone to tell me the truth. Now I have it, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do next.
“How long have you known who I was?” I ask.
“Since the day you walked into the diner.”
“Well, that answers a lot of questions,” I say.
“I had no idea who you were, Charlie. And I swear, as soon as I found out, I wanted to tell you, but with everything else we have going on, this was the one thing I didn’t know how to bring up.”
“Yeah, I can see why it would be hard.”
He kisses my forehead and sighs.
“I don’t want to be one of those couples that doesn’t talk and lets things get mixed up. I don’t want to be one of those couples who let something they can fix with a simple conversation ruin everything they have.”
“I don’t either.” I expect the tears to come. To rush down my cheeks like they do any other time I’m in a situation that brings an overwhelming amount of emotion. But, for once, I’m not crying.
Jett grabs my hands, cupping them in his own as he brings them to his lips like before.
“Then let’s not be that couple. Let’s—”
“Jett.”
“What?” His wide, hopeful eyes meet mine.
“We won’t be that couple because we aren’t a couple,” I tell him. My heart races as he drops my hands, his brows dipping as he shakes his head.
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do.”
“No.” He’s still shaking his head.
“Jett, things between us will be fine, but I don’t think a relationship beyond friends is possible for us. At least not right now.”
“Why not?”
“You already know the answer to your question. The situation we’re in—”
“No, no. We talked … we figured things out … we, we …”
“We did things wrong, and because of that, this is where we are.”
“But this isn’t where I want us to be. If you can honestly tell me you don’t feel the same way I do, I’ll accept it, but if you can’t, I will fight for us.”
“I …”
His lips capture my own with a deep kiss that I don’t want to end. But it does, and I hate everything about what just happened. We can’t be together. What happens when his job forces him to tell more lies? It would hurt me more than it already has, and if I’ve learned anything from what my sister was up to before she died and about Jett, it’s that love and lies should never be mixed.
“It doesn’t matter now,” I say.
“It does.”
“Jett, please just … give me some time to think about things. A lot happened in the last few days.”
He stands, kissing the top of my head.
“I won’t let Jimmy or Clint hurt you or Sam. Soon, this will all be past us. You have my promise.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I’m not. Not this time,” he says, and a few moments later he’s gone.
I wish I had more control over my life. I wish I could just say oh well, he didn’t know and so maybe this was fate, but even if I did, there would always be that little voice in the back of my mind wondering if he’s hiding something from me.
Leaving the couch, I step into the kitchen to grab my phone from my purse to see if Whit wants to take the boys to the park. A distraction sounds great right about now.
As I pull my phone out, it vibrates. I roll my eyes at Clint’s number. I just want this over with. He’s more talk than action, and I’m starting to wonder if they enjoy harassing me more than they actually want their money.
I open the text and my heart instantly breaks. A picture of me, hiding behind a tree outside the police station as Jett walks out the door of the building, peers back at me. My throat goes dry as I read the words attached to the message.
Clint: I knew there was something off about my friend. Thanks for leading me right to him.
With shaky hands, I dash out the door and see Jett pulling out of the parking lot. I dial his phone immediately. It goes straight to voicemail.
“Jett! Turn around. Come back to my place right now!”
I hang up and call again.
Same thing.
“Jett, seriously don’t talk to Clint or Jimmy. Call me and come back.”
I repeat this process two more times before I finally spit out the truth. “They know who you are!”
Jett
I’m in a funky mood by the time I get back to Clint’s apartment. I thought by explaining myself to Charlie, we could go back to how we were. The last place I want to be is here, dealing with the kind of fucking people who helped get me into the position I’m in with Charlie in the first place.
My life doesn’t seem real right now. I’m an undercover cop. I may have been all about this when I was younger. Wanting to follow in my father’s footsteps was everything to me. But I’m not so sure it’s worth it anymore. I saw what it cost him, and I don’t want that to be me.
“When the fuck is this shit with the girl going down?” I ask. I don’t have an update for Jimmy, so I need to detour the subject. I’m tired of being kept in the dark. Of not having control. If he wants my help, he better fucking fill me in. The sooner this over, the sooner Charlie and I can move past all this.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jimmy says. He doesn’t even glance in my direction.
But I am, I am so fucking worried and angry about it. His plan involves Charlie and anything that involves her involves me.
“You find my money?” Jimmy asks.
“Would I be asking when this is going down if I had?” I snap. It’s a risky move.
“All right. Soon, maybe tomorrow,” he adds when I don’t pry him more. Silence, huh, that’s what gets me answers?
“Why wait till tomorrow? Tonight sounds good,” I say as casually as I can.
“Why?” Clint cuts in the conversation. “I think tomorrow makes perfect sense. I’m gonna make this deal and he’s gonna get his cash. We’ll both be done in no time and then we’re gonna head out. Have you decided on a new plan?” he asks. He shares a quick look with Jimmy and they both stare at me. I’m not even going to comment on how he moved forward on a deal that isn’t with Hawley, the fake drug dealer name the team uses for a set-up. Not knowing who he’s working with makes my job harder, but I can still get it done.
“No,” I answer. “I didn’t even know what the original plan was. It was just a suggestion.”
I lean back on the couch and crack open a beer. I might actually drink it this time.
Fuck, I am in so way over my head with this one. I have no idea what to do anymore, and yet the first place I went was to my assignment’s place.
I need to tell Captain, and I need to tell him as soon I leave here.
“It’s a solid plan. I just need to get a few affairs in order before I do it,” Jimmy says.
I set the full bottle down and grab my jacket off the back of the couch before heading for the door. “I’ll call you both in a few hours when I have more to report.”
“Wait,” Jimmy says. “Tomorrow. Meet here around lunch.”
“You’re doing this in the daytime?” I ask.
“People are still at work at that time, and if I’m going to visit her at home, I don’t want any nosey neighbors around,” he explains.
“How do you know she won’t be at work herself?” I ask. The boil of rage building inside me is growing harder to contain. The wicked grin on his face doesn’t help.
“I have my ways.”
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
“Nice,” is the only word I can muster.
“I’ll meet up with you guys after my business is taken care of,” Clint adds, as if I have forgotten him.
Shit. Shit. They can’t both do this at the same time.
“You’re not helping him?” I ask with more interest than I should let on.
“No,” Jimmy says. “You are.”
“Yeah, man, what’s the big deal? I’m just dropping off some drugs and collecting cash. Done it once, done it a million times. I don’t need anyone else there with me,” Clint says.
I pull out my phone to text Captain and let him know we need to meet. Now. A notification of four voicemails pops up, and all the missed calls are from Charlie.
She’s already forgiven me!
I pound in my code and play them one right after the other. It’s her last voicemail that sends my body into alert. I glance at Clint and then Jimmy.
My teeth are grinding. I know Jimmy can see that something is up with me. He hasn’t taken his eyes off me since I stood from the couch.
“Cool, whatever,” I say and retreat for the door once more. “I have some things to take care of before this goes down.”
First, I need to get the fuck out of here.
“Need help?” Jimmy asks.
“Nope, I’ll call if something changes though.”
With that, I’m out the door.
I glance over my shoulder at least six times before I reach my Jeep. I shoot a text to Captain, Wade, and Michaels. It’s time to get this plan in motion, and with the voicemail Charlie just left me, I have the feeling she won’t be hard to convince that now is a great time for her and Sam to get out of town.