Charlie
Every inch of my skin feels cold. Frozen. Each step is like pulling a hundred-pound weight behind me and the tears are flooding down my face and soaking my clothing.
I just stand there, watching, not doing a thing.
They roll Jett farther and farther away. I want to reach for him, but he is already gone. The flashing lights in the distance are all I can see as my heart shatters and I collapse to the ground.
“Charlie, Charlie, wake up,” Whit’s soothing voice breaks into my dream, bringing me back to reality. Which unfortunately, is pretty damn close to that dream.
“How long have I been out?” I ask, my voice hoarse.
She hands me a cup of water. I take a sip and it hurts as it goes down.
“Probably a lot longer than you should be,” she answers. She’s hugging herself as she stares at the bed where Jett’s lying.
“He should be awake by now,” I say.
“They said it could take a few hours once the surgery was over,” she reminds me.
I want to scream at her. I don’t care what they said.
The last time he looked at me, he was saving my life, and now his own is on the line. I should have listened to him and let him handle everything. If I hadn’t been so stubborn, if I hadn’t led them right to Jett, we wouldn’t be here.
“I’m going to go get some coffee. Do you want any?” Whit asks.
“Please. I’ll wait here.”
I’m going to be here when he wakes up. I want to be here. I need him to know how much I love him.
“All right, I’ll check on the boys before I come back.”
“Thank you.”
The room remains as silent as it was even when she was still here. I keep my gaze on Jett. On his perfect lips, his tanned cheeks, his ruffled hair, and I tell myself I won’t cry. I won’t be a mess. I need to be strong for him.
“Do you mind if I join you?”
I startle at the burly voice behind me and look back over my shoulder to the door. It’s a hulk of a bald man I’ve only seen once before. In my apartment when the police arrived. His frame should put me on edge, but the soft look in his eyes tells me I don’t need to worry. I assume this is Captain, since that’s who has been sitting in the waiting room with Max and Sam.
“Sure,” I barely manage to say.
“You must be Charlotte,” he says, offering his hand. “We didn’t really get the chance to officially meet earlier this afternoon.”
“Charlie.” I take his hand. “I’m guessing you’re Captain?”
“That I am, but you can call me John,” he says, pulling out the chair on the other side of Jett’s bed. “Doc said it could be anytime now.”
Anytime isn’t soon enough for me.
“The bullet missed the major arteries,” he says, crossing an ankle over knee. I already know everything he's telling me. He scratches his ankle and sighs. How is he so calm right now?
When the nurse told me the bullet missed the femoral artery in his leg by half an inch, I did relax, but I won’t be convinced everything is okay until he’s awake.
“I know. I just wish he’d wake up now,” I say.
“Yeah, as do we all.”
I glance at him but don’t have a response. I mean, what do you say back to that? When he doesn’t attempt any more conversation, I return my focus to Jett.
I entwine my fingers with his and squeeze gently. I want him to know I’m here. If he won’t open his eyes to see me, maybe something as simple as touch will help. I watch him, waiting for a sign that it worked, but nothing changes.
I kiss the hand I’m holding in my own and then rest my head against them, closing my eyes.
“I’ve seen this boy grow into a man from the first assignment he ever had,” Captain says. My eyes spring open. Kenzie was a part of Jett’s first assignment.
“That assignment changed him. He’s worked harder. He dedicated himself to his job to make sure nothing like what happened that night ever happened again. He always kept going. He’s a strong man, Charlie. He’s nothing like he used to be, and I promise you, had he known who you were, he’d have done everything differently.”
“Did you know who I was?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Not until about three days ago. I don’t imagine finding out who you were and how it linked to his first assignment was something he wanted to share with too many people during the case. Not when it came to putting you in danger.”
“But he didn’t tell me everything either. If he’d of told me about my sister, maybe we wouldn’t be here.”
“Now that is something you will never know. But when people make a decision, at that time, they believe they are doing the right thing. If they aren’t doing the right thing, they won’t know till it’s too late. Don’t be upset with him for thinking he was doing the right thing.”
Captain stands, adjusting his pants and tucking his shirt back in.
“I’m not upset with him for thinking he was making the right choice,” I say.
“Then what are you upset about?” he asks.
I lick my lips and unlace my fingers with Jett’s. I stand, kissing Jett on the forehead, and then meet Captain in the doorway.
“I’m upset that I met this amazing guy who makes me happy, makes Sam happy, who treats me like I’m his everything, and who I can’t imagine my life without, yet … we kept so much from each other. People in love don’t hide things from the other, and maybe if we had just been up front from the beginning things would be different.”
His gaze grows soft as he places a hand on my shoulder.
“He’s going to wake up, Charlie, and when he does, you have the ability to change everything in your lives. You’ll have a second chance to get it right.”
You can bet your ass I’m going to change a lot.
Just as soon as he wakes up.
Jett
I haven’t even opened my eyes yet and I already know my body is going to be useless. I try to lift my arms to scratch the itch under my nose. Fuck, it’s like waking up the morning after doing the Murph three times in a row just to see who would give up first, me or Captain. Nothing feels good. Not a single spot on my body.
I slowly open my eyes, focusing on anywhere but the light above me. I know exactly where I am, and I don’t need to ask questions as to why I’m here. I remember everything: Charlie, Jimmy, Clint, her apartment. Jimmy lunging for Charlie, and the gunshot. It’s after that I have no idea what happened. I have to find Charlie. Is she okay? Is she hurt? Is Sam all right?
I move to sit up but flinch.
“Whoa, whoa, you can’t move like that,” Charlie’s soft voice fills the room. “Keep trying to be Superman and they will keep you here longer than I’d like.”
“Charlie,” I croak out. It hurts. She passes me a cup of water.
“They said to tell you to take smalls sips when you wake up.”
I swallow a few sips and hand her the cup.
“I love you,” I say.
Her shoulders relax and she smiles.
But her gaze tells me she is thinking on her reply more than she should.
“You need to rest,” is what she comes up with.
“I’ll rest when I’m dead.”
“Which could have very well happened.”
“Are you okay?” I ask. I’ve surveyed her body at least ten times in this minute. The left side of her face is black and blue, but other than that, I don’t see any visible injuries.
“I’m fine,” she says.
“You’re not. Look at your face.”
“I’ve seen it and, trust me, it’s the worst part.”
“Bruises and all, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” I tell her.
She laughs and it warms my heart.
“Did they up your drugs?” she asks, moving to the board on the wall to read what it says.
“I don’t know, why?”
“Because you are talking like some guy who just went to sleep and woke up with orders to say the cheesiest lines ever.”
“They aren’t cheesy when I’m speaking the truth.”
“Jett—”
“You don’t want to talk about it now, fine, but we will talk about it.”
“I know, I just don’t think right after you wake up from being shot is the right time to talk about it.”
“Now is the perfect time,” I tell her. “I waited before to tell you something and look where that got me.”
Her tongue glides over her lips as she nods.
“I’m not letting that mistake happen again.”
“All right, well, at least let me go get the doctor and tell your sister you’re okay, then we can talk,” she says.
“Charlie—”
“I’m scared, Jett,” she says through choked words.
“Of what?”
“So much.”
“Tell me, and we’ll get through it together.” Again, I attempt to sit up, so I can reach for her, but it hurts too much. Charlie rushes to my side.
“What is it? Do you need anything?” she asks.
“I just need to know why you’re scared, so I can fix it.”
“I’m scared that you’ll take another job and end up right back here from a gunshot wound or worse. And I’ll be at home, spending every minute you’re not there, praying that you’ll come home.”
“You imagine us living together?” I ask.
Charlie sighs. “We should talk about this when you’re less drugged up.”
I begin to laugh, but it hurts. Considering the punches Jimmy gave me, there is no doubt I have a broken rib or two.
“We can talk about it now. I just … I thought convincing you that we should be together was going to take a lot more work.”
“You still want to be with me? Even after I followed you—poorly, by the way—and ended up being the reason your cover was blown?”
“That’s exactly why I love you,” I tell her.
She laughs slightly, wiping a tear away.
“I love the way you don’t take my shit, how you’re not afraid to fight for your family, how you follow your gut when you know something isn’t right, and how, despite every truth I kept from you, you’re still sitting here, holding my hand and staring at me with more love than I could ever ask of you.”
Gently, Charlie leans over to press a soft kiss to my lips.
“I’d say I’m in love with you, too, but I gather by that last remark, I don’t need to actually say it,” she says.
“I mean, I wouldn’t mind if you still said it.”
Her laughter makes all the pain bearable.
“I love you, too, Jett.”
“Good, I’m glad we got that settled.”
“It’s not going to be easy,” she says. “There is good chance I’ll freak out and cry a lot when you leave for work.”
“I’d be worried if you didn’t.”
“And no more secrets,” she says.
“None.”
“Okay.” Her lips touch mine.
“Kenzie would have liked you,” she says, pulling a chair up to sit as close to the bed as she can. “You know, not just as a cop, but for me.”
“I liked your sister,” I tell her. “Your sister was brave and strong and a passionate mother. Everything she did, she did for Sam. What isn’t there to like about a woman like that.”
It’s going to take a lot more than one swipe of my thumb to clean up the tears on her cheeks.
“She was pretty awesome,” Charlie adds.
“And for the short period of time I knew her, I have the confidence to say that I think she would be very proud of the way you have raised Sam. Of the way you have loved him and protected him.”
More tears fall from her eyes as she leans up to press her lips to mine.
“Thank you, Jett.”
“If we aren’t keeping secrets, you should know that I’m going to quit my job. You’ll soon be dating a bum.”
Charlie gasps and covers her hands with her mouth.
“You’re serious?” she says, revealing the smile hidden behind her hands.
“Yes, and I’m not doing it because you don’t like it. I’m doing it because, as much as you would worry about me, I’d worry about never seeing you again. I want you in my life more than anything else.”
I pull her to me and kiss her forehead before I’m finally able to relax into the bed. I got the girl, and that’s the only part that matters in the end.