Chapter 16
Mary moved down the stairs purposefully, trying to hide her anxiety as she went. With her corset tied up tighter than ever, it was already challenging to breathe, so the nerves only added to that. Still, it was there for a reason; it was there to hold her together and to make her look her absolute best. That was also the reason she had made Daisy quickly style her hair into a chignon, and she put a little bit of make-up on.
If Duke Edmund Smith preferred her natural, then she would be dressed up. Anything to prove to him that he did not control her at all. She no longer worried what he wanted ... not when he so clearly did not care about her in the same way.
As she laid her eyes upon him, her entire body turned upside down. The nausea that she had been trying to push down resurfaced, so much so that a sickness threatened to pour out of her mouth. Her heart went cold, yet somehow, her blood ran boiling hot. It was a confusing sensation that caused her to grip onto the rail in front of her just to keep herself standing upright. Edmund had her utterly lost, and she did not know what to do about it.
“Good afternoon,” she said coldly. “What are you doing here, Your Grace?”
There was still tension surrounding them, only this time there was nothing pleasant about it. It was so thick and unbearable, it could have been cut with a knife. Mary just wanted it gone; she wanted him gone. The last thing that she wanted to do while she was going through so much emotional turmoil was actually speak to the man who had caused it ... but he had not given her any choice. He had shown up unannounced without giving her the necessary time that she needed to prepare herself.
“Please, Lady Roberts,” Edmund pleaded; he actually clapped his hands together in a prayer-like gesture to make Mary see just how serious he was. “Please let me speak with you. Let me explain.”
“You can say what you have to say right here, then leave,” she replied, refusing to get anywhere near him. “I do not know what you are doing here. I believe a letter would have been enough.”
Edmund glanced around, drinking in the appearance of all the staff members nearby. Maybe they were trying to act like they were not eavesdropping, but he could tell that they were. He did not even care what they thought about him, even though he knew it was not good. He only cared what Mary with her wide, sad eyes considered him to be.
“Please, Mary,” he continued desperately. “Please. Just give me a chance. I am only asking for five minutes of your time.”
There was something in his expression that got to Mary; she could not seem to help it. He seemed desperate and needy like he might do something crazy if she did not allow him to talk. She needed to remain strong and in control, but at the same time, maybe it was the adult thing to do. She could give him five minutes of her time, then she could cancel their engagement and move on with her life. Maybe this way was much better. Maybe a short talk was better than endless letters shared between them both.
“Fine.” She folded her arms across her chest and gave him a glare. “I shall give you only five minutes of my time, then I would like you to leave.”
She walked towards the drawing room, giving Daisy a look that only her friend would understand. She needed this conversation to be private and alone. She did not want her humiliating situation to be public knowledge until maybe she was ready to share. Even with her friend. It was bad enough that everyone already knew that the man she was falling in love with, the man who had told her that he shared her feelings, did not care about her enough to keep his kisses to himself.
Her eyes welled up with tears, but she blinked to keep them inside. She would not let Edmund see her cry; it was the thing that she was most determined about. She would not let Edmund know how much he had hurt her. That was the most important thing.
Daisy felt anxious leaving Mary in the room with Duke Smith; she did not like to leave her friend in the hands of that man. The Duke had always appeared very pleasant to her, and she assumed that her Lady would enjoy being married to him, but now she had her eyes open. Even if it meant her losing her job, she did not want Mary to be stuck with a man who did not deserve her. Her biggest fear was that the Duke would talk her around and that she would end up believing him.
Mary waited until the door clicked behind her before she allowed her arms to unfold. Then she stood in front of Edmund expectantly, waiting for him to speak. She was not about to make this any easier for him by talking first. She was not the one who had done anything wrong.
As they waited, she ran her eyes over him. Everything about him still appeared exactly the same; there was no indication that anything had changed. Duke Edmund Smith was still devastatingly handsome; he still had innocent sparkly eyes, which meant he had always been a terrible person. She just had been blind to it until today.
“I am sorry for what you have heard,” he started in a grave tone. “That must have been terrible for you to hear.”
“That you kissed another woman?” Mary said scathingly. “Yes, that was not the most pleasant.”
“It was not like that ...” Edmund suddenly realised that he had chosen his words wrong. He did not mean it to sound like something had happened. “What I mean to say is Lady Victoria Hartmon is not telling the truth about me.”
“So you have never met her?” Mary demanded. “You did not go to the Miller ball which happened after you first met me? You did not speak with her? You did not dance with her?”
“I did all those things,” Edmund admitted with his head hung low. “But it was not as it sounds.”
“Yes, you keep saying that.” Mary forced herself to turn away as her eyes filled up once more. “So what was it like? Please tell me. I would love to hear just what your side of the story is.”
Her heart raced quickly. In reality, she was not sure that she wanted to hear his side of the story after all, but she could not take it back now. She had already demanded that he tell her. To back down would show weakness which she simply could not do.
“I only went to the ball after our very first meeting because I did not believe that we would ever be able to find common ground ...”
“So it did not even occur to you that you would be doing me a disservice by allowing my inheritance to fade away?” Maybe she was being unfair now, but she wanted Edmund to realise the full consequences of his actions. “Most people do not like each other when they first meet, and they continue to not like one another long after they get married. It is all about convenience. If you were going to rob me of my childhood home just because I did not please you right away, then the least you could have done is send me a letter so that I was aware.”
“I know,” Edmund replied quietly. “I should have; it was unfair of me. I think the reason I did not is that I did not want to shut the door on us right away. I wanted to be certain before I said no.”
Mary did not have an answer to that. Her intense anger had subsided just a little bit. If she was honest with herself, through the red mist that clouded her judgement, then she was making plans to be with anyone but the Duke as well. Maybe she could not blame him for that part, but she certainly could for what came after.
“I believe Lady Hartmon set her sights on me right away,” Edmund continued, taking advantage of the silence for a moment. “I believe she chose me because I am a wealthy man with a title, probably just the sort of man that she should be with.”
Mary knew Victoria; she had seen her before, and she hated how much she agreed with Edmund on that statement. She did not really consider herself to be beautiful enough for him, even if he did seem to like her, whereas Lady Hartmon was absolutely stunning. The sort of woman who would look gorgeous on his arm.
They will have the most beautiful children, she thought sadly. Maybe they deserve one another.
“She made a point of following me. I believe that she had a plan. She wanted us to be seen kissing so I would be forced into marrying her. She knew that if we were caught in such a compromising position, it would only be decent of me to make her my wife. She probably knows that I am a good man and that I would do it ...” He took a step closer to Mary but was crushed when she took two steps back from him. Mary was nowhere near ready to forgive him quite yet. “But I did not want to. I was glad when I pushed her off to discover that no one saw us. I thought that I had escaped that fate when I put her straight, and I left. I did not know ...” He sighed loudly and sadly. “I did not know that news of our engagement would cause such a reaction within her.”
Mary felt uncertain. There was a part of her that knew what Edmund was telling her could have been the truth. Victoria and the entire Hartmon family were known for being very ruthless to get what they wanted. It was how they had made such a success of themselves. She also could not deny that there definitely seemed to be something very real between her and Edmund. Something so powerful that she had never felt it before.
But the truth was she did not know Duke Edmund Smith as well as she thought she did. She trusted him too much, and it had not got her anywhere.
“I know that you are capable of it,” she whispered. It was almost difficult for Edmund to hear her; he had to really strain his ears. “We both know that you are capable of acting in a way that is not really decent.”
As Edmund watched Mary slide the ring off her finger, he felt utterly helpless. It was not supposed to go this way; she was supposed to listen to him, to hear his side of the story, and to get things back on track. As long as Mary believed him and did not care what Victoria was saying, then he would not either.
“What are you doing?” he asked her with a crestfallen face.
“I cannot be made a fool of,” she replied harshly. She took a step closer and extended the ring to him. He did not take it right away.
“I do not wish to make a fool out of you,” he insisted. “Please, do not end things like this. It is a shame to turn our backs on something so incredible.”
“I need time to think,” Mary added, finally forcing him to take the item of jewellery off of her. “I do not know what I want, but for now, it is only space.”
“I promise you, I would not do this to you, Mary. I would not do this to anyone, but especially not you.” Edmund could feel his levels of desperation getting higher by the second. “You know me, Mary; you have spent time with me. You have seen me in ways that others do not. Please do not throw this away. Please, do not give Victoria what she wants.”
Mary’s eyes snapped off the floor at that last comment. “Are you telling me that if you cannot marry me, then you will her?” Edmund shook his head vigorously, but unfortunately, the damage had already been done. Mary felt completely and utterly done with the conversation; she wanted to be alone once more. “Because if that is the case, then I suggest you are with her.”
“No, I ...” Edmund did not like the way that comment had been taken, but he could not do anything about it. Mary had left the room, leaving him all by himself in an even deeper pit of despair than he was in before.
He sighed loudly and hung his head in shame. Maybe he should have taken his mother’s advice one step further. Maybe he should have kept away from Mary a little while longer until she had really cooled down ... or he should have at least warned her about his intention to visit. He stared at the engagement ring in his hand wondering how it had all gone so terribly wrong.
I cannot fix this today, he warned himself. Mary is too angry. I must wait and try again. I will write her a letter in the meantime and try to make my feelings for her very clear.
All he knew for certain was that he would not give up. What he and Mary shared was not over yet.
Daisy raced after Mary up the stairs, her heart beating furiously. Mary was crying when she left; something the Duke had done had upset her terribly, and it was up to her friend to pick up the pieces.
When she got into Mary’s bedroom, she was stunned to see the young Lady grabbing items of clothing and throwing them determinedly into a bag that was much too small.
“What are you doing?” she gasped as she surveyed the unexpected scene in front of her.
“I am leaving,” Mary bit back. “I need to get to a place where he cannot find me. I have a feeling that Duke Smith does not intend to leave me alone until I agree to marry him again, which I do not intend to do.”
Daisy was not as relieved as she thought she would be to hear that statement, not when Mary was acting in such a way. “Where will you go?”
Mary did not even miss a beat; she knew exactly where she intended to be, with the one person that could protect her and that she could protect back. “I will be with my sister,” she said with an air of nonchalance. “Until I see fit to return.”