Chapter 23
“Mary?”
Mary slid from the bed and made herself sit when she heard Charlotte’s voice. Everything had been feeling too difficult for days now; she could barely even force herself awake and get dressed. Being asleep was preferable because while she was asleep she could imagine that she was not trapped inside a nightmare. It was only when she was awake that she truly had to face reality. No money, no home, watching her sister suffer through a terrible marriage ... all of it was getting to her, bringing her down. Mary was starting to feel like soon there would be nothing left of her at all.
“Mary, how are you feeling today?”
Mary shrugged. She could not even drag her eyes off the ground to meet her sister’s gaze. As soon as she saw that sympathy, she would fall apart all over again.
“I have something to tell you,” Charlotte continued, knowing that she had to persevere, even though it felt incredibly challenging to do so. “Something important and ... well, I am not too sure if you are going to like it or not.”
That was enough to get Mary’s attention. There was only one thing that she understood at the moment, and that was bad news. It kept coming at her like a tsunami, a never-ending wave that she did not know how to prevent. “What now?”
“It is nothing terrible.” As Charlotte saw that familiar look on Mary’s face, she realised her incorrect choice of words. She had to stop beating around the bush, to just dive right into it. “There is someone downstairs who wishes to speak with you.”
“Is it Walter?” Still, even now Mary could not let go of hope. It was only a gossamer- thin thread, but it was all that she had. “Has he come at last?”
“No, no it is not.” Charlotte felt ice-cold guilt run through her as Mary’s face fell. “It is actually ...” She gulped loudly. “It is His Grace, Duke Smith.”
“What?” Mary’s head fell back onto the pillow. She suddenly felt absolutely certain that she was still right in the middle of a nightmare. “What do you mean? What is he doing here?”
“Well ... he wishes to speak with you.” Charlotte’s heart raced; maybe this was not the best plan after all. “I know you probably do not wish to speak with him, but I believe he might be able to help us.”
Mary propped herself onto her elbows to glare at Charlotte. “Why would he be able to help us? And how does he even know where I am?”
“I ... I told him.” Charlotte could feel her cheeks heating up as she spoke. “I sent him a letter informing him of what Mr Thompson had done.”
Mary felt sick to her stomach at her sister’s betrayal. She could not believe that Charlotte would go behind her back like that. Had they not grown close recently? Had they not gotten to a stage where they did not keep secrets anymore?
“He did not need to know that.” Mary stood and paced across the room to the window. She wanted to look out the window because nature was a better sight than her sister’s guilty face right now. “That was nothing to do with him.”
“But he was part of the inheritance; I thought he deserved ...”
“He deserved nothing,” Mary interrupted angrily. “He was supposed to be a part of the inheritance only in the way that he had to marry me. The home would not go to him.” Even Mary knew that he would have control over it because he was the man, but that point did not help her argument right now. “He did not need to know about Walter. You forget what he did to Lady Hartmon.”
“I have not forgotten anything.” Charlotte was so used to being yelled at, but when it was Mary doing the shouting, it hurt her deeply. “I am sorry; I can get rid of him if that is what you prefer ...”
Mary did not feel like she had the energy to face Edmund right now, but there was a deep pull in her chest encouraging her to do so anyway. She could not stop herself from feeling intrigued by his reasons for arriving. He had obviously come to see her for something, and she did not think he would come all this way just to be horrible to her. No matter what he had done, he was not a nasty, spiteful person with his words.
“I suppose I should see him,” Mary finally agreed. “He might simply want some practical information about how all of this affects him.” She sighed loudly. “I can just tell him that he has nothing to worry about and that he can continue with his life in the same way as before.”
“Right,” Charlotte replied a little hollowly. “Yes, of course.”
“I shall just get dressed.”Mary walked over to her dresses and made a show of looking through them, “Then I will be downstairs. Maybe if you could ask Jennifer to make him a drink while he waits.”
Charlotte was slowly growing used to Mary knowing Jennifer by her first name. She thought it rather nice, actually, not that she had found the confidence to call her that herself.
“Oh, before you go.” Mary turned to look at her sister curiously. “What did you say in the letter? To His Grace, to get him here.”
Charlotte heard the warmth in her sister’s tone, and she sensed that she had been somewhat forgiven. Of course, it would not be that simple; it would take some time to fully regain Mary’s trust, but it was a positive start. “I just gave him some vague details about what happened with Walter, nothing more. Luckily, that was enough to make him come.”
“Hmmm, luckily.”Mary rolled her eyes in an overly dramatic fashion. “I think I will be the judge of that.”
***
Mary’s heart skipped a beat when she saw Edmund. Her body continued to react to him after all this time, despite the fact that she had done her best to spend the last few weeks hating him. She felt her mouth run dry, her stomach burn, and her pulse flutter.
“H ... hello, Your Grace,” she stammered. “Thank you for coming to see me again.”
Edmund stood up to greet Mary, and his eyes instantly ran down her body. He liked the look she had today. It seemed that she had reverted back to the more natural version of herself, which he preferred massively. The last time he had met up with her, she had her face filled with make-up, hiding all of her most beautiful features, and she also looked like she had her waist tightened with a corset. Today she did not have any of that; she was simply herself.
For a moment, Edmund was transported back to the moment they shared at her bookcase when they finally started to realise that there was something very real to the pair of them. That moment was special, powerful, life-changing ... and now that was all gone. Not only the relationship that they shared but the house in which they met. That belonged to someone else now, and Mary did not have anything from the house deal. Walter Thompson had stolen it all, and that was not right.
“Mary, I am so terribly sorry,” he started, his voice thick with emotion. “What happened to you was terrible.”
“Yes, it was.” Mary could not keep the stiffness from her tone. “And it was very unexpected too. I assumed that my father had good taste in people, that he was smart, but it seems that maybe I was wrong.”
“Right, yes.” Edmund did not know whether this also meant him or not, but he chose not to pursue it. The last thing he wanted to happen was an argument with Mary. “I would assume that he did not expect this to happen.”
“No.” Mary folded her arms across her chest. “I guess not.”
They stood in an uncomfortable silence for a while, just staring at one another. Both of them had a whole lot to say, but neither of them knew where to start. A lot of tension flowed in the air; it was so thick, it could have been cut with a knife.
“Do you ...” Edmund started, needing desperately to fill the silence. “Do you have any plans? I mean, I know that things are limited now, I just wanted to ...” He shook his head, internally cringing. “Urgh, I am sorry, that is a stupid question to ask after everything that you are suffering.”
Mary could not stop the small smile from spreading onto her lips at the expression on Edmund’s face. She could tell that he was really trying, and despite herself, she felt touched. It was nice to actually be cared about; it made her feel important in a way that she had not in a very long time.
“It is alright; you are correct in your assumption. I do need a plan. I guess I just have not worked out what that could be yet because ... well, I have nothing. No money, no home, no marriage prospects ...” Her words trailed off as she realised what a silly thing that was to say in front of him.
But Edmund was pleased that she had brought it up. It meant that he could address it too. “I will still marry you,” he said kindly. “I know that things have been difficult between us recently because of the mess with Lady Hartmon – which is not true by the way – but we can get past this. We can still ... just be together.”
Mary was taken aback; she could hardly believe the words that Edmund was saying to her. “Are you serious?” she gushed. “You would still marry me now? Even though I am ruined, and I have nothing to offer you?”
Mary could feel her cheeks growing wet, but she chose not to acknowledge that. She left the tears there as she focused solely on Duke Edmund. She had not wanted to see him, but now that he was here, she could not stop looking. She was drinking every inch of him in, committing him to memory in case this was the last time she ever got to see him.
Why is it that every time I see Edmund, I feel like it will be the last time? And why do I never want it to be?
“Of course. That does not matter to me. I have never wanted to marry you for that.” Edmund was a little incredulous; he assumed that he had never given that impression across at all. “I have always wanted to marry you for you. That is why I regret even going to the ball with Lady Hartmon there ... that should never have happened.”
“But that would ruin you ...”
“I am already ruined.”
Mary was silenced. She did not know how to take this. On the one hand, it would solve absolutely everything. She would have somewhere to live, financial security, and a husband, but on the other, she was not sure if she could do it. Maybe it was childish of her to still worry about what happened with Victoria with everything else that was going on, but she could not totally shake her pride off.
“That is so kind of you, Your Grace. I do not know how to thank you enough.”
“You could say yes,” Edmund said with a small smile. He started to feel like this was not going well at all. “I know this is complex, but it could be wonderful. Before things got all mixed up, we were good together.”
“We were,” Mary whispered. “We were.”
Her brain span as she imagined what her future could actually look like with Edmund in it. She had not planned for this; she had spent a lot of time planning the opposite, but now with him in front of her, she did not know what to say.
“Mary, please.” Edmund decided to try a different tactic and to just lay it all bare. After everything that they had been through, it felt good, to be honest. “I want to be married to you; I have wanted you to be my wife for a very long time. I still want that. Is that not what you want to?”
His genuine honesty affected Mary. She felt it race through her system. “Yes,” she whispered, getting swept up in the moment. “Yes, I do.”
Edmund’s heart lifted. He could finally see a light at the end of the long tunnel that he had been stuck in for far too long. “You do? So you want to get married?”
Mary glanced from side to side, checking that no one was listening to her. Then she leaned in closer to Edmund so that she could whisper to him. He was intrigued, so he pushed his ear forward to meet her lips.
“I am scared to leave this house,” she admitted to him. “I do not ever wish this information to get out, so I hope you understand that I am trusting you here.” Edmund nodded a little fearfully. “Lord Jones has got a terrible temper, and I fear it is getting worse every single day. I am scared for Charlotte and her unborn child.”
Edmund could not disagree with this; he had seen the bruise, and he could recognise exactly what was going on here. He could also understand why Mary did not want to leave that situation. “I see,” he murmured sadly.
“I am sorry. I really appreciate you being so kind to me and offering to marry me.” Mary pursed her lips tightly together. She hated what she had to say, Edmund could see that by the way her hands squeezed tightly together. “But I am truly scared for Charlotte. I cannot think of doing anything until I know that she is safe. I know she has sent for you, so it probably looks like I am overreacting ...”
“No, not at all.” the Duke had to agree; he knew that she was right. “I understand completely. Maybe ... maybe this is something that we can revisit at a later date.”
“I do not wish you to wait for me; that is not fair.” Of course it was what she wanted, but she could not expect it. It would not be fair for her to ask Edmund to take himself off the market for her when she did not know when she would be free. This was everything that she had been wanting, but now that it was put in front of her, she realised this was where her priorities lay. She had spent too long wallowing in misery when she needed to remember that Charlotte needed her, “I just have to sort this, then ...”
“Yes.” Edmund pushed himself into a standing position. “Then ...”