“Thanks for getting me here in one piece.” I handed back his helmet, knowing this was goodbye.
“No worries.”
I stood there, close enough to see the downcast look in his eyes, and I knew something was brewing. For some unknown reason, I was the one to break away from the gaze. I had never felt this nervous.
“Well, I better go,” I said. To my surprise, he got off his bike, hooking the head protectors to the back of the seat. He took a slow, deep breath as his eyes ran up the length of the black brick building, then descended back to mine. Something seemed to have changed since we’d left The Little Orange, like he had forced himself to come all this way. One thing was for sure; the man was a mystery. Too bad he’s not mine to solve.
“Let me walk you in?” His eyes held mine for a beating moment.
“Okay.” My voice squeaked. I should have said goodbye and been on my way. Why couldn’t I let this go? Sure, there was some unexplained gravitation pulling me to him, making me wonder if there was something else. I hated myself for wanting to read more into this than there was … that’s what always got me into trouble. I knew at this point it was not love—just raw attraction. But there was a question that kept crossing my mind every time I met someone new—the what if. What if he were my red thread? The myth that attaches two people: no matter the circumstances—the thread will knot, twist and bend, but never break. No matter what, we were meant to be lovers. I knew this was a long shot, but it was always nice to hope.
Inside, just off the lobby, was the entrance to the Cellar Bar. But when I got to the top of the staircase, I paused. If I had had any inclination that tonight would involve descending so many steps, I would have chosen a pair of flats instead of my stilettos. Simon shot me a glance like he must have read my mind.
“Are you okay getting down on your own?”
Before I could answer, he slipped his hand into mine, offering support as we descended. I didn’t even flinch. I welcomed it like it was the most natural thing. The velvety multicolor leather bands he wore around his wrist lightly brushed against my skin—such an insignificant thing, but it caused such friction inside me, and suddenly I wanted more. Even though Simon was a stranger, I knew just one smile from him would disarm me, relinquish any small doubt still pegged at the back of my mind. As we took each step down, I could feel his warm eyes burning on me. I knew if I looked at him there was something I would see on his face. Maybe we both wanted something to happen—or continue—I don’t know. The only sure thing I knew was that I shouldn’t be ready for it, because the logical side of me told me I was in the midst of a kerfuffle. I was planning to leave the city. So why bother to start something you couldn’t finish?
But the other half of me waited desperately for this moment to pass, to pick up the pace. I didn’t want to behave the way I should. Every molecule in my body wanted him to pin me up against the wall. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to see him again.
At the last step, I knew this wouldn’t play out.
Inside, the décor had the allure of a grand reception hall within the walls of a Gothic castle, but it was nifty enough for me not to dislike it. My eyes scattered over the heads of people who were dancing to the tune coming from the DJ in the corner.
“Did you spot your friend?” he asked, letting go of my hand, only leaving me further disappointed. I looked up; he was now standing much closer than I had expected. At least this way I could try to read his lips. With the loud music and the excitement that the night had brought, my brain was in state of exhaustion, making it difficult to stay focused.
“I know. I’m late,” he said, but not to me. I followed his eyes to find Gloria walking closer to where we stood. Her expression was flat, almost matching her hairstyle, slicked back and tied into a ponytail. She wore a button-down navy silk shirt and white tailored pants, a charcoal knitted top knotted around her waist. Only Gloria could pull that off, making something simple look so chic and indispensable. I guess that’s why everyone in New York wanted to work with her.
“Hey, what happened? Are you all right?” Gloria looked puzzled, her eyes darting from me to Simon and back again.
“Yeah, I got my purse stolen, along with everything I owned.”
“Shit, that sucks,” Gloria said, her eyes never leaving Simon.
“Simon was nice enough to help me.” I felt I needed to clarify, but I wasn’t sure what to make of Gloria’s straight face.
“So you guys know each other?” I asked, but what I wanted to know was how they were connected.
“We work together.” He was quick to say. That’s when it hit me.
“Oh … Simon Rowe?” I let out, and he nodded. “So you’re the up-and-coming photographer.” I glanced at him. “But you’re not what I imagined.”
“Up-and-coming?” He frowned.
“Well, you know what I mean.”
“Cocky?” Simon playfully narrowed his eyes at Gloria. “What have you been telling her about me?”
“Only good things.” Gloria waved him off.
“Ah, well, I’ve added that part in,” I said, intertwining my fingers together. “I mean, I’ve only known you, what? About an hour?” I glanced at my watch. “Who am I to judge?”
“You’re drowning.” He let out a laugh.
“Anyhow, being cocky is not a bad thing, you know? Some girls even find that attractive,” I said, and this piqued his curiosity.
“And what about you?” He radiated interest, but in me?
“Um, well, not really.” I gave him a sideways smile.
“I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you find out for yourself—hang out with me a little longer? A drink at the bar?” Simon was staring at me.
How could I say no to that smile? I forced myself to look at Gloria and wished I hadn’t. “I would love to, but I can’t …” I said. “Anyway, it’s true what people say about themselves. So if you say you’re not cocky, then I’ll just take your word for it.”
“Well, I can’t be cockier than Jason,” Simon said, tilting his head in amusement.
My eyes widened. “Oh, you just had to go there?”
“Come, we’ll talk about your poor taste in men over a martini.”
“Hey— I’m beginning not to like you.” My eyes zero in.
“So, what did you mean by that—that I’m not what you imagined?” Simon crossed his arms.
“Well, can I be honest with you?”
“Sure,” he said, but his little laugh made me think otherwise.
But before I could respond, Gloria stepped between us.
“I hate to break up—whatever this is,” Gloria gestured with her hand in the air as if she were polishing us off. “Simon, you need to get your ass out there and have a serious tête-à-tête with the editor and chief of Nylon magazine. He’s the one hosting this party for you, remember?”
But before Simon could reply, people swarmed around him, prying us apart, and the space between us only grew. I looked back to find Simon talking to someone, but his eyes never left mine. I only turned around when Gloria tugged on my arm. She wanted me to follow.
“Mable, of all the men in the world, why Simon?” she asked.
“What’s your problem? Look, Simon was kind enough to pay my tab, and then he gave me a ride over … that’s all that happened,” I squared my shoulders.
“I thought you were meeting up with Jason?”
“He never showed up.” I feigned a smile.
“No surprise.” She half-rolled her eyes. “I hope you’ve learned your lesson, and that you forget about that idiot now.”
“Yes, I’m done. I never want to see his face again.” Even if I said it out loud, it didn’t make it true. I knew I would have time before my departure, and if Jason should call somewhere in between me packing my things till the day I left town, I might be tempted to make one more mistake. Unless I had another suitable distraction.
“Simon has to be off-limits, please.” She caught me throwing a glance his way. Well, there goes that idea.
“Why?”
“Because I said so.” Her eyes softened. “Look, Simon is a great guy, but—”
“So if he’s that great, what’s the problem?”
Gloria’s eyes focus on her wine glass. “He’s going through something … I’m not able to talk about it right now.”
“Oh, I get it. You think I wouldn’t be a good match?” I asked.
“Mable, you’re missing the point.”
“This is so funny. You’re protecting him from me?”
“We work together,” Gloria said, like I should get it.
“I thought you said he’s not your boss?”
She put her hand out to stop me from talking. “Right, but we have a great relationship. Enough that when he’s working on a new project, I’m the first person he calls.” She looked at me straight on. “What happens if you start fooling around?"
“Nothing is going to happen, okay?” I said, but she kept on going.
“He hasn’t been in a serious relationship in—like ever. He doesn’t even date.”
“Who said I wanted a healthy, steady relationship?” I teased, taking her glass and proceeding to drink out of it.
“I know you better than you think, Mable Harper. Everything starts off loose, and you act like you’re okay with it until you realize you want more.”
“That’s not true. I never wanted more with Jason.” Shit. Was I smiling? I hated when she was right. It would never be enough for me—a half relationship—because it never was. The need for more, to have someone you can depend on, a reassurance of love. Isn’t the whole point in life to find someone to connect with? The only thing is, my connections had been tangled and mangled up like a set of Christmas lights, long forgotten in the attic for years. But just because the lights were in boxes didn’t mean they weren’t good anymore. Or were they?
“What are you afraid will happen?” I asked.
“I’m worried if things go south, who’s left picking up the pieces? How do you think my relationship with Simon will continue?” she asked.
I wasn’t buying it. I knew for a fact she got plenty of jobs without Simon’s help. There was something she wasn’t mentioning. Or maybe Gloria was trying to protect me. Simon was an attractive man who took pictures of beautiful people all day. Who was to say he wasn’t some womanizer?
“You’re selfish. Don’t you ever think of my happiness?” I was coy with her, but it only intensified her agitation.
“I am thinking about your happiness,” Gloria sighed out of frustration.
Then I realized that maybe she had feelings for him. “Oh … are you guys …”
“What? Are you crazy? No! Never!” She adjusted her black-framed glasses. “I’m in a committed relationship with Tracy, remember?”
“I know, but you also left Jerry for Tracy.” My eyebrows went up slightly. How weird would it be to be interested in someone your cousin also wanted? It wouldn’t be cool.
“Jerry was a mistake, and you know it. Look, just because I don’t have romantic feelings for Simon, it doesn’t mean I’m giving you the green light.” Gloria looked past my shoulders, then diverted her eyes back to mine. “Simon is like the annoying brother I’m glad I never had. He comes with lots and lots of baggage.” Her eyes softened. “What I’m trying to tell you is—if he breaks my cousin’s heart, I won’t be able to work with him, because it will get nasty between us. Just trust me, okay?”
“I get it. Don’t worry, all right? Soon I’m going to schlep my irresponsible ass back to Montreal, and I’ll be out of your hair.”
“I didn’t say you were irresponsible. Shit, Mable, you always hear what you want.” She snapped her head back. “Wait, you’re going back home?”
“Uh-huh. I’ve decided I’m not looking for another agent, so there is no point of me staying here.”
“Oh, I don’t want you to go,” Her voice cracked.
I shrugged. “It’s for the best. So you have nothing to worry about. Nothing will happen between Simon and I.” I paused, taking in her expression.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because you’re smiling.”
“I’m not.” I looked around the room, and my eyes found Simon. He was in the corner now, talking to an older couple. His eyes focused in my direction, amused by the fact that I was being scolded.
Do you want me to rescue you? I thought he mouthed. I smiled, shaking my head discretely, so that Gloria wouldn’t pick up on it.
“I swear … I’m not interested in Simon.” I can’t keep a damn straight face.
She looked me over, relinquishing the air from her chest. “You’re impossible,” she said in a monotone voice.
I placed my hand on my heart. “Okay. I, Mable Harper, swear on my cat’s head that I will never sleep with, or have anything to do with, Simon Rowe.”
“You don’t even have a cat,” Gloria pointed out.
“Well, not now, but you realize you might have cost me my last chance of happiness. Now I have to resort to a lifetime of being a spinster living with cats.”
“So we’re good?”
“Perfect,” I chirped.
“Great. I’m glad we cleared that up. Now give me back my wine, crazy cat lady!”