CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE | DUKE
I could tell that something wasn’t right as soon as I twisted my key into the lock and pushed open the door.
The apartment felt so… vacant.
There was an eerie stillness and silence that bounced between the walls. The air felt stale and unlived in.
Something wasn’t right.
“Beck?”
My footsteps drummed through the wooden floor and my keys clattered loudly when I dropped them onto the kitchen countertop.
“Beck, are you here?”
I stood perfectly still as I waited for her voice to respond, but the only thing I heard was the dull ringing of silence.
Where the hell are you, Beck?!
That same question had been spinning through my head for the last twenty-four hours.
The last time I had seen Beck was when she ran away from me on the beach. I had chased after her, but my heavy canvas sneakers couldn’t tread sand the same way her bare feet could.
I lost sight of her. She was gone…
Still, I had followed the beach for what felt like miles, until I found myself back at our hotel. I had felt a flutter of hope as I took the elevator up to our floor, but when I finally reached our hotel room, I found it empty.
Beck wasn’t there, but she had left everything else behind: the pile of clothes that I had stripped off her the night before, the empty aluminum can of Summer Ale, the toothbrush and tube of cherry chapstick on the bathroom sink, the price tag that she had ripped off of the brand new white linen dress that she had bought just for me…
I had retraced her steps around the room, following the trail of breadcrumbs she had left. I had waited for her to come back…
When I watched the sunrise the following morning, I had finally realized that she wasn’t coming back.
I didn’t want to leave the Hamptons without her, but part of me knew that she was already gone. Hell, she had probably already found her way back to Hartford. Beck was resourceful; she didn’t need me… she could find her own way.
I had made the three-hour drive back home in complete silence. The whole time, I was trying to figure out what I could say to Beck once I got back to our apartment. It had never even crossed my mind that she might not be there when I got back.
Now, I pondered that possibility for the first time as I walked through our apartment.
Her bedroom door was ajar and when I raised my fist to knock, it swung open. My heart immediately sank.
All of her things were gone. The room was completely empty, and any trace of Beck was gone. All that remained was the Ikea bed and dresser that I had bought.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Just to be sure, I stepped across the room towards the dresser. I pulled open the drawers one by one. Empty.
Then I noticed a faded, wrinkled twenty-dollar bill resting on top of the dresser.
I stared at it for a few seconds, trying to understand.
Then I remembered. When I had met Beck for the first time at Vaughan’s, she had refused to let me pay for her drinks. She had shoved a crumpled up twenty dollar bill towards the bartender, then she had huffed off.
I had pocketed the bill myself and paid for the drinks. Later on, after we got back to the apartment, I had left the bill onto this very spot on top of the dresser.
She’s so damn stubborn… I wanted to chuckle, but I couldn’t bring myself to. Instead, I dropped down onto the edge of her bed and fell onto my back. I glared up at the ceiling as my head spun around and around in circles, trying to make sense of everything.
There were so many things that I couldn’t figure out: What had happened at the Maison Verte Gala? Why did Beck decide to leave like this? How did she get back to Hartford and move out all of her belongings in less than twenty-four hours? Where did she go?
I tried to search my brain for answers, but I just kept drawing the same blank, over and over and over again.
There was only one thing I knew for sure:
Beck is gone.
***
“How the hell is this so soft?!” Josh asked in awe, running his hand over the lapel of a brown blazer.
I glanced at the garment and grinned affectionately, remembering the last time -- actually, the only time -- that I had worn it.
“It’s vicuna wool,” I explained.
“Sounds expensive.”
“Eh,” I shrugged my shoulders. “Let’s add that one to the ‘donate’ pile.”
“Seriously?!” Josh blinked in disbelief, flicking his eyes between me and the blazer. “You don’t want to keep it?!”
“I’m sure there’s someone out there who needs it more than me.”
Josh shrugged, then he lifted the blazer by its hanger and added it to massive mountain of clothes that made up the ‘donate’ pile.
The Hartford Fire Department was hosting a month-long clothing drive, and Firehouse 56 was one of the designated drop-off points for donations. I had been meaning to clean out my closet and purge some of my old unworn clothes for a while anyways, but seeing the influx of donations that came into the firehouse every day had finally lit a fire under my ass.
Once I started pulling garments out of my closet, I couldn’t stop myself. I think Josh was starting to regret offering to help out…
“What about this?” he asked, lifting a suit from the rack.
Before I could offer a verdict, I was interrupted by the chime of the doorbell ringing from the front of the apartment.
DING-DONG
I froze. My heart slammed against my ribcage and my mind rushed straight to Beck.
It had been nearly a week since she left, but I still hadn’t accepted that she was really gone for good. I still felt my heart race every time the phone rang or I got a knock on the door.
But every time, it wasn’t Beck.
“Are you gonna see who is at the door, or what?” Josh snapped me out of my thoughts.
“That’s a good idea,” I nodded stupidly.
My heart thumped through my chest as I navigated the piles of clothes that were strewn over my bedroom floor and made my way through the apartment. I reached the front door and gripped the handle, bracing myself for disappointment. Then I turned it slowly...
The door swung open and I found myself face to face with the biggest bouquet of flowers that I had ever seen. I leaned forward over the threshold to get a better look, when suddenly a face popped up like a jack-in-the-box.
“SURPRISE!”
“Brie?!”
“I came to apologize,” she huffed in a strained voice, blowing a stray petal away from her face. “These are ‘I’m Sorry’ flowers!”
“I don’t want your flowers.”
“Actually, they’re for Beck!”
“Then you came to the wrong place. Beck doesn’t live here anymore.”
I started to close the door, but she kicked out her foot to stop me.
“What do you mean Beck doesn’t live here anymore? Did she move out? Where did she go?”
“I don’t know.”
“But… why?”
“Maybe I should be asking you that question,” I snapped. “What did you to Beck at the Maison Verte Gala? It must have been something bad about me, right? Bad enough that she would never want to speak to me again.”
Brie blinked at silently me through the bouquet. Then, in a strained voice, she stammered:
“Please, just let me explain--”
“Don’t bother. I have nothing to say to you, Brie,” I said firmly. I tried to close the door again, but she stopped me. The door swung back open and I sighed, glaring down at her wearily.
“I know that you have every reason to hate me right now,” she said slowly, “I was drunk and angry and I said some horrible things at the gala--”
“Just stop, ok?” I held up my hand. “Whatever you told Beck at the gala, it was probably the truth. You were right. I thought I had things figured out, but I’m just the same selfish asshole that I’ve always been. I don’t deserve Beck. Anyone at the gala could have told her that.”
“Duke--”
“I lost Beck all on my own,” I shook my head. “You were just the messenger.”
I gripped the edge of the door, and I thought about trying to swing it shut again. Then I stopped.
“You were wrong about one thing, though,” I told Brie. “I did care about her. I cared about her more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. She made me want to be better. She made me want to be the man that she deserved.”
“I know you cared,” Brie said, adjusting the giant flower arrangement around in her arms. “That’s what made me so jealous.”
“Jealous? You?” My eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“Don’t feel too flattered,” she rolled her eyes. “I never had those kinds of feelings for you. I never saw us as anything more than friends who liked to have fun.”
She let out a deep breath, and she pointed her eyes away from me.
“But when Beck came along, that changed. You changed,” she said. “A tiny part of me felt hurt that you had never changed for me.”
“Brie…”
“I know, I know,” she sighed quickly, glancing back up at me. “I know treated you like a bad habit. You don’t need to remind me.”
My glare softened and I actually chuckled.
“But that’s the funny thing about bad habits,” she said. “Usually they don’t quit you. I’ve never known a pack of cigarettes to sprout legs in the middle of the night and run away…”
“Fair point,” I agreed, and Brie smiled.
“You’re a good guy, Duke,” she said, swallowing heavily and pressing her chin down into the bouquet. “I mean that. Beck would be lucky to have you.”
“If only that had been the sentiment you shared with her at the gala,” I quipped grimly, letting out a heavy sigh.
“I know. That’s why I brought these flowers.”
“I wish I could help,” I shrugged, “But she didn’t exactly leave a forwarding address.”
Brie lowered the bouquet so that she could gawk up at me.
“Wait a second… you’re not giving up, are you?” she demanded.
“Not giving up, but--”
“Duke! You can’t give up on Beck!” Brie shook her head frantically. “You need to find out where she is! She must still be in Hartford, right?”
“I’m not giving up, but I don’t know what else to do!” I stammered. “All I know is that she isn’t here, and she isn’t at work. I’ve tried checking with Fire Department Headquarters, but they can’t tell me anything.”
Brie frowned thoughtfully, then she glanced down at the bouquet. A smirk spread across her face.
“What about bribery?” she asked. “Have you tried that?”