CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX | OLIVIA
“You look like you could use a drink,” Gia Rogers declared, studying me over the rim of her black plastic-framed glasses.
“I’m fine--”
“No, I insist,” she said firmly. “You look like you just got dumped at the rose ceremony after fantasy suite dates on The Bachelor.”
“Huh?” I didn’t understand the reference, but Gia was already halfway across the kitchen.
Over the span of the last few days, Gia Rogers and I had gone from being cubicle-mates at the Fire Department, to being roommates in her one-bedroom apartment in downtown Hartford.
After the disastrous trip to the Hamptons, I knew that things could never go back to being normal. There was no such thing as ‘normal’ between Duke and I anymore, and there was definitely no going back from everything that we had shared together.
I knew that going back to that apartment wasn’t an option… but I also knew that I had nowhere else to turn. I didn’t want to go back to Rhode Island, but I didn’t want to run away again, either. I liked my new life in Hartford. I liked the people I worked with, and I liked my job.
I had liked Duke Williams, too, but I was trying not to think about that part.
Getting back to Hartford had been no small feat, especially since Duke had been the one with the car. In lieu of my own set of wheels, I had taken the Hamptons Jitney to Manhattan, then I had walked to Penn Station and booked an Amtrak train back to Hartford.
When I finally got back into town, I had been in desperate need of three things: a new place to stay, a shoulder to cry on, and lots of alcohol. Gia Rogers had provided all three.
Speaking of alcohol...
“What are we drinking tonight?” Gia asked as she cracked open the door of her refrigerator.
The inside of the fridge looked like the wine aisle at a grocery store. The shelves were stocked from front to back and side to side with bottles of white wine.
“I’m in a chardonnay mood, myself!” Gia said after surveying the selection.
Gia was always in a chardonnay mood. I had never met anyone in all my life that loved white wine the way that she did.
I knew that I was in no position to complain, and I knew that beggars couldn’t be choosers, but… I had reached my personal limit on chardonnay intake a few days ago.
“You got any beer in there?” I asked hopefully.
“I don’t have any beer, but…” Gia leaned forward and started rummaging around the shelves that were built onto the refrigerator door.
“I have this!” she said proudly, producing a silver can. “Technically it’s a wine spritzer,” she admitted, “But it tastes like grapefruit and it’s super yummy!”
“On second thought, I think I’ll stick with chardonnay,” I smiled stoically.
Gia grabbed a bottle from the fridge and carried it to the kitchen counter.
“So everyone’s been asking about you at work,” she told me as she peeled away the foil at the top of the bottle.
“Really?”
“They want to know when you’re going to come back to work! I think they miss having you around.”
“That, or they just miss the coffee,” I joked.
“Actually, Perkins started to make the morning coffee runs.”
“What?!” I blinked up at Gia in disbelief, and she nodded enthusiastically.
“Yeah! He thought your cooler idea was genius, so he’s been making Starbucks runs every morning!”
“I don’t believe that,” I shook my head. “No way! Perkins?!”
“Well you can see for yourself, if you come back to work!” Gia smiled. She shoved a corkscrew into the neck of the bottle and started twisting it around.
“I don’t know,” I sighed heavily, staring down at my hands. “I’m still not sure if I can go back.”
After getting back from the Hamptons, I had wanted to take a few days off of work to clear my head and figure out my next move. When I had talked to Perkins about it, he had been more than understanding. In fact, he was surprised that I hadn’t asked for time off sooner, considering everything that had happened with Scott…
I had spent my days off trying to process everything. Since there was nothing I could do about my feelings for Duke, I forced myself to focus on the problems that I could solve: finding a new apartment, deciding whether I wanted to stay in Hartford or move on, looking for a new job…
Those were all things that I had considered a lot over the last few days. I did want to stay in Hartford, but I knew that would mean constantly running into Duke.
“I got a job offer in New Haven,” I admitted sheepishly.
“What?!” Gia froze, cork partially dislodged from the wine bottle. “Have been applying for new jobs?”
“I sent out some feelers,” I shrugged, trying to downplay it. Now I wished I hadn’t said anything.
“Olivia, I had no idea you were that serious about leaving!”
“Nothing is set in stone,” I assured her. “I just figured that it wouldn’t hurt anything to weigh all of my options.”
“A job offer is more than just ‘weighing your options,’” Gia sighed. She gripped the bottle of fine and finished popping the cork. “It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind about leaving.”
She shook her head sadly as she poured the wine into a pair of wine glasses, then she slid one of them across the counter towards me.
“I can’t stay here,” I said, taking the glass. “I know what it’s like to have a bad reputation at work. That’s what I was trying to get away from when I came here--”
“Who said anything about a bad reputation?”
“Come on, Gia. Bar fights at Rusty’s? Getting another EMT fired?”
“Nobody is judging you for what Scott Fuller did--”
“Fine,” I shrugged. “Maybe they won’t hold that against me, but there are plenty of other things that they can’t judge me for--”
“So that’s what this is really about, huh? Mr. March?” Gia glanced up at me pointedly.
When I told Gia the truth about my relationship with Duke, she had initially been starstruck. In her eyes, Duke -- and all the other firemen featured in the Firehouse 56 calendar -- were celebrities. Based on the way she squealed and jumped up and down, you’d think that I had just gotten back from a trip to the Hamptons with Ryan Gosling.
When I told her about what had happened at the gala, the stars in Gia’s eyes fade a little bit, but she was still adamantly ‘Team March.’
“I just wish you’d give him a chance to explain his side of things,” she sighed now, cradling her glass of wine under her chin. “You owe him that much, don’t you think?”
“I don’t owe Duke anything. What is there to explain?” I shrugged. “I was wrong about him. It’s as simple as that.”
“Puh-lease! It’s so obvious that Whatever-Her-Name-Is was just jealous! She didn’t want you to have Duke all to yourself, so she resorted to sabotage!”
Gia paused to take a long sip of wine, then continued: “I can’t believe you’d trust some bimbo at a party over your own boyfriend--”
“He was never my boyfriend!” I corrected her. “And Brie wasn’t just ‘some bimbo.’ They had history--”
“So what? Everyone has history!” Gia insisted. “You of all people should know that, Little Miss ‘Come-To-Town-On-A-Greyhound-Bus’--”
“Yeah, well Duke’s history is a little more recent,” I said, glaring down at my wine glass. “Maybe Brie was trying to sabotage us, but she was still right. Duke Williams isn’t the kind of guy who settles for one woman. Especially not for someone like me…”
“Oh God,” Gia grunted. “Do I need to give you a pep talk now, too? You’re beautiful, you’re sassy--”
“I don’t need a pep talk,” I cut her off. “I know what I have to offer. But I also know that what I’m not offering what Duke is looking for.”
“Ok, so what is Duke looking for?” Gia wanted to know. “Tell me: if you’re so sure that it isn’t you, then what does he want?!”
“Who knows?” I shrugged. “Probably someone like Brie.”
I pictured Brie will her platinum blonde hair and her slinky pink dress and her stiletto heels. I was nothing like her; we weren’t just ‘different,’ we were like two completely separate species...
“If he wanted Brie, he would have gone to the gala with her,” Gia pointed out.
“Duke wanted to make his parents think that he had changed,” I countered. I brought the wine glass to my lips and took a sip. I felt an immediate sense of relief. I couldn’t tell if it was desperation, or if the musty, warm taste of chardonnay was actually starting to grow on me…
“You don’t even know if this ‘ultimatum’ crap is actually true--”
“He admitted it!” I said, slamming my wine glass down on the counter.
“Ok, so there was an ultimatum,” Gia conceded. “But how do you know that going to the gala with you was part of it?”
“Why else would he bring an EMT in a TJ Maxx dress to a beach party in the Hamptons?” I demanded.
“His parents weren’t around to watch when he took that punch for you at Rusty’s,” Gia said. “They weren’t there when he called the fire department employee hotline and made a report against Scott Fuller. So who was he trying to fool then, huh?”
“Wait, what?!” my eyes flicked up at Gia. “Duke was the one who reported Scott?”
“Duh,” Gia said. “I thought you knew.”
“No. I thought it was anonymous…”
“Well his name is all over the reports,” Gia shrugged. “It’s all there… even the part about the fight. Duke put his entire career on the line for you. Do you really think that this was all about some stupid ultimatum?!”
I didn’t know what to say, so I funneled more wine into my mouth.
“There was something real between you two,” Gia continued. “You said so yourself. You can’t just imagine something like that--”
“He’s a player,” I said flatly. “That’s how he operates. That party was probably full of ex-flings who thought that they could be the one to tame Duke Williams. The only difference between them and me is that at least they looked the part.”
Gia sighed and swirled around the wine in her glass, then she glanced up at me:
“No,” she said firmly. “The difference between them and you is that you did tame Duke Williams. He loved you, even when nobody was looking--”
He loved you. The words sent an involuntary tremble through my body. My stomach twisted into knots and my cheeks burned. I fought off the feeling, forcing myself to swallow heavily and focus on the anger and hurt that was rotting in the pit of my stomach.
“Duke didn’t love me,” I insisted. Then I repeated Brie’s words from the party: “He doesn’t love anyone. He’s incapable.”
“Do you really believe that?” Gia challenged me. Then, in a softer voice, she said:
“Duke can’t change his past, but he can choose his present. And he chose you.”