CHAPTER TEN
Kingston
Hibernating for the day turns out to be the perfect first date. Or second. Or third. Hell, I’d be happy to never leave this piece of shit mattress.
Heaven must be like counting the freckles on both of Ruby’s shoulders over and over again.
“So, you mentioned your momma earlier. You have a lot of family?” Her question surprises me, but I should have guessed we’d get down to some deep shit sooner or later.
“Nope. It’s just me and Wyatt. There’s no one else left.”
“Damn.” She plants a solid kiss on my chest and her hair fans across my sweaty skin. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“How could you? My old man died when I was young. Too young to remember much about it, really. He was a real hard ass and it eventually cost him his life.” I swallow back the big ball bobbing in my windpipe. “Momma raised two rotten, hard headed boys all on her own. We gave that woman hell. She worked double time to give us every chance she could. Her only vice was smoking. She died from lung cancer a few years back. So, there you have it. No big story. Now, it’s just the two of us. Well, the three of us if you count Fournette.”
She giggles and it’s like music to soothe my wild beast.
“Yeah, you can’t forget about Fournette. I thought he was family.”
I nod in full agreement. “He might as well be. He’s a brother to both of us. Momma worked at a little motel off the interstate. One day, she brought home this scraggly, underweight pain in the ass. He was about fourteen. She said he just showed up, but I knew better. I overheard the two of them talking one night and Fournette wanted to know what he had done so bad for his old man to leave him stranded. His dad skipped out on the bill and left his kid behind. He’s lived with us ever since.”
“Wow. Well, I haven’t known you long, but I couldn’t imagine you without him.”
“Yeah, me either.” I scoot myself back and prop myself up against the wall. She follows and the blanket shifts, revealing her bare, slender side. I trace her freckles with my index finger like a connect the dot puzzle that unlocks the key to every part of me.
“Ok, your turn. Tell me something about you. What about your family?”
I hate it when she turns away, throwing up a virtual wall. I wait and count her cute toes. They’re painted a dark purple. I make it to ten and back before she responds.
“I don’t have any family. I grew up in foster care. As soon as I saw an out, I took it. I dropped out of high school and ran away with a guy.”
“Oh, do tell.” I attempt to steer the direction away from her pain.
Fail.
She tries to laugh but a sob strangles her voice.
“So, it wasn’t really the fairytale rescue it sounds like then, huh?”
Relief floods my core when an actual giggle escapes her trembling lips. “No, definitely not. She smooths her palms over what’s left of the blanket’s hem and pulls at the tiny threads.
“Robbie was great, in the beginning. A real savior. Hell, anything was better than foster care. Or so I thought. He was established. Steady. I guess the best word to use is stable. He’s five years older than me and had a good job. He’d just bought a starter home. He really got me there. Talking about a home, knowing that’s something I’d never had and always wanted. So, I moved in with him. A rundown two story on thirteen acres. Things were great. We worked the land and raised some animals. Then, one day, the honeymoon was just… over. The bills mounted after the flooding from Hurricane Harvey and it ruined the season. Things snowballed from there. He got angry. Full of rage. And to make matters worse, he picked up a bottle of vodka and never put it back down.”
My muscles constrict, and my dry throat tightens. I know what’s coming and I want to save her all the torment. “You don’t have to say anymore. That son of a bitch doesn’t deserve your energy.” The cut across her cheek seems so huge now. So significant and evil.
“It’s ok. I got used to it. It was the only life I’d ever known. The shit became daily. He was just angry all the time. Nothing made him happy. No matter how hard I tried. I kept the house clean and made sure there was a hot meal on the table. I stayed in shape. Even wore my hair the way he wanted. But nothing worked. I stayed in a state of constant fear because I never knew what would set him off next.”
The air dies in my throat when she lugs my arm around her chest and wraps her hands around my forearm. She cradles her head in the crook of my elbow.
“The beatings escalated. Sometimes, twice a day. I found myself alone with no job or skills. No high school diploma. No family or friends. And zero self worth. I guess I probably could have gone on like that forever.”
Fucking gut me now.
“What changed?” I pepper soft kisses in her hair.
“I may not have much self esteem, but I also don’t have a death wish. If I had stayed, one of us was going to die. And the more I thought about it, it was gonna be him.”
I clench my teeth and strain to comfort her. “Sounds like it would have been justified to me.”
“Yeah, but that’s just it. I don’t want to be that person. If I become that hateful, I’m no better than he is. I’ve never really known love, but I’m not made for that kind of life, filled with violence and rage. Always having to watch over my shoulder, scared for my safety. Worried I was going to die or kill someone. Either way, I’d eventually losing myself, so he still wins.”
The dampness slips from her eyes and drips down my searing skin. She cries, and I don’t know why, but I feel honored that she allows me to hold her while she does. My heart skips a beat when her breathing changes. Calmer. Softer.
“You’re such a breath of fresh air. Gentle and giving.”
Her statement rattles around in my brain. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to wish away her hurt. I struggle to pretend like Ruby hadn’t just described my entire existence.
I’ve never wanted to be someone else more than I do right now. Not when I Changed for the first time. Not when I lost my momma, because she knew me. The real me. Shit, not even the night that I ruined Wyatt’s life.
How can I tell her? I’ve never had to explain my bear to a human. I’ve never had to explain that I live and breathe blood. Or that I’m a killer.
I struggle, fighting to recall words. Any string of words I can piece together to spit out. Then my back snaps straight. The air I pull in through my nose sends adrenaline surging through my body.
The scent is strong. It’s nearby and closing in.
Wolf.