CHAPTER EIGHT
Connor muttered darkly to himself as he grabbed an old paint can and threw it onto the growing pile of trash behind him. The “garbage patch” was worse than he’d thought. They were going to have to spend a couple of days just clearing everything out before they could even think about beginning to renovate it.
His eyes fell on a large, dust-covered shape, propped up in the corner of the old shed. Pulling it out, he chuckled to himself as he realized what it was—an old punching bag. It was heavy but looked to be in quite a good condition still. Connor couldn't remember who had put it there or when, but if it could still be used, then he might find a way to get it hung up in the yard somewhere. Maybe it would be a good way to get his frustrations out.
“You’re smiling.”
Startled, Connor stuck his head out from behind the punching bag to see Jenny standing in the doorway holding two cups of coffee.
“Is everything OK?”
She laughed quietly. “Yes, everything’s fine. I just thought you might want a fresh cup of coffee. You’ve been out here for hours.”
It hadn’t felt that long. “Let me get this outside first.”
“Sure.” She stepped back and let him wrestle the punching bag outside. “Where did you find that?”
He snorted. “Where do you think, Jenny?”
Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, he took the cup of coffee from Jenny, grateful for her consideration. He grinned at her, seeing the laughter in her eyes.
“OK, I guess I deserved that,” she replied, tossing her head. “Although what I said, I meant. It’s nice to see you smiling again, Connor. We’ve missed this side of you.”
“What side of me?”
She leaned against the stable wall. “This side. The laughing, joking, always-got-something-to-say side.”
Connor accepted what she said but didn’t quite manage to agree. “I’ve always been that way, Jenny.”
She lifted one eyebrow, taking another sip of her coffee.
He sighed. “Fine, maybe I’ve been a bit off lately, but that’s just because I’ve been tired from the trip.”
Jenny sniggered into her coffee. “And it’s got nothing to do with Beth?”
“Beth?” he repeated, trying to sound shocked. “No, of course not.”
Shaking her head at him, Jenny fixed him with her gaze. “Connor, I’m not the only one who’s noticed what’s changed with you. When we first got her here, you were as angry as I’ve ever seen you. I don’t think you smiled for the entire trip back home!”
“That’s because I didn’t want her here!” he retorted, growing frustrated with the way she was pushing him to deal with what he was really feeling. “You can’t blame me for that.”
Pausing, Jenny took a step closer. “Connor, Ross told me that you mentioned you were able to almost see the bond between me and him.”
“Yes, I did,” he replied, not sure what she was saying.
“Well, in the same way, I can see that there’s something growing between you and Beth, and you’re afraid of it.”
It was as if he’d been hit over the head with a shovel.
“You don’t have to look so terrified,” she continued, putting a calming hand on his arm. “It’s OK to feel something for another shifter, Connor.”
The air left his lungs in one long whoosh, forcing him to draw in a long, shallow breath. “No, it’s not like that. I—” Memories of their kiss last night swamped him, and he knew he couldn’t lie. “I—I don’t know,” he finished, lamely. Scrunching up his face in frustration, he shook his head. “I just want to protect her, Jenny.”
Her gentle smile lit up her face. “So did Ross, and look how that turned out.”
Connor had to laugh, the sound pushing through the sudden awkwardness he felt. “I guess so.”
“She’s looking to you for so many things, Connor,” Jenny continued, searching his face. “Don’t deny what you feel just because you’re afraid of it.”
Taking another sip of his hot coffee, Connor thought hard for a moment. “It’s all too soon, too fast,” he muttered, looking away from her. “I thought I hated her, but now . . .”
Jenny grinned. “Connor, I’m guessing that the only reason you were so angry when we said we were taking Beth with us was because you were attracted to her. You’ve been battling this from the start and, now that we know who Beth really is, and what she’s gone through, it’s somehow more acceptable for you to feel something for her. You’re just not sure what to do about it, worrying about whether it’s too soon or if you’re just taking advantage.”
It was as if she’d scurried into his mind and read what he’d been thinking, what he’d been tormenting himself with. In fact, Connor hadn’t got much sleep last night, tossing and turning as his mind refused to leave Beth. He’d berated himself for kissing her, only then to wonder whether he could do it again. It had been a vicious cycle of thoughts that had lasted for hours.
"Just don't be afraid of what you feel, OK?" Jenny asked quietly, as though she realized he was having trouble responding. "And maybe use that punching bag if it all gets too much." She grinned at him then turned to walk inside, leaving him alone.
Connor sat down heavily on an upturned tree stump, drinking the last of his coffee. Jenny was more perceptive than he’d realized, but she’d certainly given him plenty to think about.
It was true that he’d been battling how he felt about Beth ever since he’d first seen her. He’d been furious that he’d had to fight so hard against her, and when she’d shifted and something had kicked into his gut, he’d hated it. He didn’t want to find her attractive, but he’d been unable to help it. Jenny was right. That was why he’d made such a fuss about her coming with them back to Rockshore.
The dark, slightly bitter taste of coffee filled his mouth as he drank the last of it, cradling the cup between his hands as his mind whirred through what Jenny had said. She’d told him not to be afraid, not to push what he felt away, but that’s exactly what he had been doing. He’d told himself that kissing Beth last night had been a mistake, even though his entire body had come alive the moment he’d touched his lips to hers.
Beth had refused to accept his apology. She’d been hurt by it, given that he’d somehow managed to give the impression that he regretted what had happened. The truth was he didn’t regret it at all. Jenny was right. He was just too afraid of what he felt and had been worried he’d been pushing Beth too hard, too fast. He was meant to protect her—but did that mean that his heart couldn’t be involved?
“Connor?”
Beth’s soft voice broke into his thoughts.
“Sorry, Jenny said you were out here, and I wanted to see if you could use some help. Thomas and Sarah said they’d be out soon.”
He cleared his throat, aware of just how much his heart had jumped when he’d turned to look at her. “Sure, as long as you don’t hurt that arm,” he replied, smiling at her. “I could use some company.”
"Great." Another smile lit her face, transforming her features as she walked over to him, following him into the rundown stables. Connor was still amazed by just how differently she looked from the first time he'd seen her in her human skin. Her eyes were glowing with happiness, her cheeks taking on a slightly rosy glow as she glanced up at him.
"How did you sleep?" he asked as he walked into the shack. He'd managed to make sure she was settled at breakfast but hadn't had time to talk since Sarah and Jenny had been busy chatting with her.
A flush slowly crept up her neck. “Very well, actually.”
“I’m glad to hear it. You need your rest.”
“Thank you for giving me your room,” she murmured, walking a little further into the shack. Connor grinned as he saw her nose wrinkle.
“Yep, it’s pretty bad in here,” he chuckled, casually wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Are you sure you want to help?”
He looked down at her, only just realizing how close she was to him. His eyes dropped to her lips, his heart suddenly thumping in his chest. Something in her expression told him she was worried about something, and he instinctively tightened his arm around her. "What's the matter?"
“Do—do you think Ross meant what he said?” she asked, worrying her lip.
“Ross always means what he says,” Connor replied, laughing. “What specifically do you mean?”
“About letting me be part of the pack?” Her eyes searched his, a quiet desperation in her voice.
Connor smiled at her, realizing what it was she was anxious about. “Of course, he did. He wouldn’t offer it unless he meant it. You’ve got to start believing that no one here is still holding a grudge. We’re not like that. If you want to join our pack, then you’re more than welcome.” He gestured around the old, dark stables. “And, if you’re very lucky, you’ll get to stay in this lovely place!”
She laughed, her eyes sparkling with tears as she rested her head against his shoulder. “I think I’d like to be a part of this pack.”
“I don’t think your stepbrother will take your change in allegiance well,” Connor warned. “Promise me you won’t go anywhere without letting me know where you are.”
Lifting her head, she looked up at him again. “I promise, Connor.” A slow smile spread across her face, her eyes lighting with humor. “Considering we’re both going to be working here most of the time, I don’t think I’ll ever be out of your sight—although you might have a hard time recognizing me under all the dust and cobwebs!”
Dropping his arm from around her shoulders, Connor laughed and picked up an old broom. Playfully waving it in her face, he grinned as she shrieked and stumbled back, falling into a huge pile of what looked to be old sheets. A cloud of dust spilt into the air, making her cough and splutter.
Slightly repentant, Connor grasped her good arm and pulled her, wiping the dust from her face.
“Sorry,” he apologized, trying not to smile. “I didn’t think it would be that dusty!”
Beth coughed again, but she managed a small smile. “This place is filthy.”
“Just as well we’re going to clean it then,” he quipped, pushing back her hair behind her ears. “Sure you still want to help?”
Nodding, she wiped her eyes with her fingers. “If I get to be near you, then I’ll do anything I have to,” she replied, her voice low. “I want to be where you are, Connor.”
Connor didn’t know how to respond. The swift urge to kiss her swept over him again, and he slid his arms around her waist again—only to hear Sarah and Thomas’s voices coming nearer.
The kiss would have to wait.