CHAPTER 10
Harper
T here were things in this world that scared me. Clowns—any and all kinds of clowns, monsters under my bed, or being chased in the dark by a mad man with a knife, just to name a few, but nothing terrified me like the thought of having my heart broken again. I’d barely survived it the first time, and I couldn’t imagine going through it again. That fear was one of the main reasons I hadn’t taken that next step with Daniel. We’d been dating off and on for almost a year, and while he’d been patient, I knew he was growing tired of my excuses. In every way that mattered, he was the perfect guy. He was sweet, funny, had a great job, and there wasn’t anything in the world he wouldn’t do for me. There was just one problem. He wasn’t Max. It was the same problem I’d had with all the men I tried to date, but Daniel had been more persistent than the others. I knew he cared about me, and I hoped if I gave it time, I’d find a way to love him like he loved me. Unfortunately, those feelings never came. I just couldn’t see myself taking that next step with him. Deciding I needed to clear my head, I packed my bags and headed for Whiskey Creek. I thought the time away would help me make up my mind about Daniel, that I’d finally come to realize that he really was the right guy for me, but then I ran into Max and all thoughts of Daniel went flying out the window.
I tried to remind myself of all the heartache Max had caused when he’d left, but all I could think about was the way my entire body lit up when I saw him. I couldn’t let myself get wrapped up in him again. I had to keep my focus, so I stopped off at the grocery store, buying everything I could possibly need in hopes of preventing any future run-ins with Max. I figured if I spent all my time at the cabin working on my book, I could avoid him altogether. It was a well-thought-out plan, but unfortunately, Max wasn’t going to make it that easy. No sooner had I parked the car and opened my trunk, a black Mercedes pulled in behind me. Seconds later, the driver’s door opened and Max stepped out looking like something out of a Harlequin romance novel. His dark hair was tousled to the side, and he was wearing dark slacks with a white, button down pressed shirt underneath a long, black wool coat. He was wearing dark sunglasses, making it impossible to see his eyes as his broad body started walking in my direction. Damn. Why did he have to look so good?
He said nothing as he walked over to me. A familiar jolt of electricity surged through me as he stood there silently staring at me. His mere presence, along with the intoxicating scent of his cologne, had the butterflies in my stomach turning somersaults. No. I wasn’t going to let him get to me.
“What are you doing here, Max?”
He glanced behind me, critically surveying my small cabin and its surroundings. “I could ask you the same question.”
“You could, but then it’s really none of your business.” Ignoring the disapproving look on his face, I walked around him and glanced in my trunk. As I grabbed several of the bags, I looked at him and said, “Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to do.”
Like I hadn’t just blown him off, Max reached into the trunk and grabbed the remaining groceries, following me towards the front door. As he started up the steps, he grumbled, “What do you have in here?”
“Groceries, Max. You know … food and toilet paper .” I unlocked the door and started inside. “And what are you doing anyway? I didn’t ask you for help.”
Again, he acted like I hadn’t just sounded like a complete bitch and carried my bags over to the kitchen table. He took off his coat and tossed it over one of the chairs. As he started to unpack the bags, he looked around the small living room and grunted. Yes, grunted . And then, stupidly, his nose crinkled like he’d just smelled something bad. It wasn’t a five-star cabin to say the least, but I liked it here. It was cute and comfortable with its old, colorful Afghans scattered around the room and the spiral woven rug that covered the worn-out wooden floors. I was happy with it, and I certainly didn’t need his approval. When he noticed that I was just standing there watching him, he gave me a half-hearted smile.
“Nice place.”
I walked over to him and took the jug of milk out of his hand. As I started for the refrigerator, I told him, “You can go now.”
“What happened to the sweet, shy Harper that used to blush when I said her name?”
“She grew up!”
A sexy smirk crossed his face as his eyes roamed over my body. “That she did … that she did.”
“Like I said, you can go now .”
Disregarding my invitation to leave and my angry glare, he continued unpacking the other grocery bags. When he started putting things away in the cabinets, I realized he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. Feeling completely frustrated, I finished unloading the rest of my things, and then headed out to the front porch, leaving him alone in the kitchen.
I couldn’t take it a second longer. I had to get away from him, even if it was only for a moment. I walked over and propped my elbows on the rail as I looked out at the endless, blue ocean. I took a deep breath as I listened to the soothing sounds of the waves crashing on the rocks below. Just as I was starting to relax, I heard the door creak open. I didn’t have to look to know he was there. I could feel him. A warmth would wash over my entire body whenever he was around, and even after all these years, I still felt that same rush of heat. I hated that he still had such an effect on me. I held my breath as he walked over next to me, standing just inches away.
He was so close.
I could touch him.
I could wrap my arms around him. Hold him. Kiss him.
Make love to him.
It was all too much, and I was about to lose my resolve when he said, “You’ll never know how sorry I am that I hurt you, Harper.” I didn’t respond. I just kept staring straight ahead as he said, “I’m not asking you to forgive me. I don’t deserve forgiveness. I am just asking for a chance to … to be your friend again.”
I didn’t bother looking down at his hand. I knew the ring he’d once worn for me was gone, and I silently cursed myself for even caring. Without thinking, my hand went to my neck, seeking the necklace I’d once worn. For years, I’d kept Max’s ring close to my heart, and I was devastated when I lost it down the bathtub drain. Just thinking about how much it had meant to me made my heart ache, and I knew there was no way I could be just his friend. It would hurt too much. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Harper .”
“Don’t, Max. You know as well as I do that we could never be friends.”
“I don’t see why not. We were before. I don’t see why we couldn’t be again.”
“Maybe because not only did you break my heart, you ripped it out and threw it to the damn wolves.”
“That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?” He mocked. “And you weren’t the only one hurting back then. It wasn’t exactly easy for me either.”
“Then, you should’ve done something about it. You should’ve answered my letters.”
“Maybe … but I never opened them.”
“What?”
“I still have them … each and every one, but I never had the heart to read them.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I was completely stunned. Anger and hurt flooded over me as I shouted, “I laid out my heart and soul in those letters, and you didn’t have the decency to open them?”
“I couldn’t do it!” His voice was strained as he continued, “I knew if I read them I wouldn’t have the strength to stay away, and I’d only end up coming back and hurting you even more.”
“Or maybe we would’ve found strength in each other, and we wouldn’t be standing here arguing about it now.”
“I fucked up, Harper. I know that, but that was a long time ago.”
“You did. And I’ve moved on. It’s time for you to do the same.” I motioned for him to leave and said, “Just go, Max. There’s nothing else to be said.”
Thankfully, he didn’t fight me. Instead, he walked down the steps, got in his car, and drove away. I went inside and pulled out my laptop. I had it in my head that I needed to get some pages done, but after staring at the screen for almost an hour, I hadn’t written a single word. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t focus. My mind kept drifting back to Max and the hurt look on his face when I told him to leave. I finally gave up and went to the kitchen to make dinner. As I started cutting up the different vegetables, I started to worry that I’d made the wrong decision in turning him away. I even considered reaching out to him, but quickly realized I couldn’t. I didn’t have his phone number. I had no idea where he lived or who he worked for. Like it or not, I was stuck. It was times like these that I wished Natalie wasn’t a thousand miles away. I needed someone to talk to, someone who had the time to listen, but she was busy with her new job and three young children. The last thing she needed was another one of my venting sessions about Max Lanheart. I’d have to figure this one out on my own.
Just as I was putting my soup on to simmer, I heard my phone vibrating on the counter. When I picked it up, I saw that it was another message from Daniel. He’d been trying to reach me since last night, and with everything that was going on, I hadn’t responded. As much as I didn’t want to talk to him, I knew he’d just keep sending messages if I didn’t call him back.
It only rang once, when he answered, “Hey. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, Daniel. Everything’s fine.”
I could hear the concern in his voice as he said, “I’m glad to hear that. I was worried. I haven’t heard anything from you since yesterday afternoon.”
“I’m sorry. I got distracted with the book.”
“Are you getting much done?”
“I’m getting there.” I lied.
“Good. Since you’re doing so well with it, I was thinking I might come down this weekend and take you to dinner or something.”
I felt myself cringe at the thought, and quickly told him, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Daniel. I’m finally making progress, and I don’t want to lose my momentum.”
“Okay,” he replied sounding overly disappointed.
Trying to keep things positive, I told him, “Just remember … the sooner I get done, the sooner I’ll be back.”
“Then get off the phone and get to work, woman!” He teased.
“I will. Goodnight, Daniel.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart.”
Once I hung up, I grabbed my coat and headed outside to walk along the beach. The sun had already set, and even though it was freezing cold outside, I needed a minute to clear my head. With each step I took, another memory came rushing back—the same memories I spent years trying to forget, but never truly could. I loved Max. I’d loved him from the moment he’d saved my cat from that stupid tree, and no matter how hard I tried, there was no way I could ever truly forget him. He meant too much to me, and I owed it to us both to at least try to make amends with him. Unfortunately, I’d have to find him first.
It was colder than I’d realized, and my ears and nose were practically numb as I started back to the cabin. I picked up my pace and was almost home, when I noticed a familiar figure walking in my direction. He was still wearing the same dark gray slacks and white button down. Only this time he wasn’t wearing a coat, and even though the wind was whipping around him, he was too busy staring at me to even notice. As soon as I made it over to him, he scolded, “You shouldn’t be out here at this time of night.”
“I’m fine, Max,” I told him as I continued towards the door. “I just took a little walk. No big deal.”
“It is a big deal, Harper. You’re by yourself out here in the middle of nowhere and …”
“Max ,” I huffed. “Relax. I’m perfectly fine.”
With his eyebrow cocked, he growled, “It’s not safe.”
“Point taken … and when you’re done with all your macho security stuff and need a break, I’ve got something I wanted to say to you.”
“Um-hmm, and what’s that?”
“I’ve decided to give the friend thing a try.” When I saw hope flash through his eyes, I added, “But I’m not making any promises, Max.”
“I’m not asking for promises, Harper. I’m just asking for a chance.”
“Then, I guess you have it.” I started inside as I looked back at him and asked, “It’s freezing out here. Where’s your coat?”
“I left it here.”
“Oh. Let me grab it for you.”
“I would’ve come back for it some other time, but I …” his voice trailed off as he started walking towards the stove. “What’s that?”
“Ahhh …That would be soup.” I laughed as I handed him his coat.
“Wait.” His eyes lit up with excitement as he asked, “That wouldn’t be your mom’s vegetable soup, would it?”
“Actually, it is.” Before I realized what I was saying, I offered, “You’re welcome to stay and have a bowl if you’d like.”
“Hell, yeah. There’s no way I’m going to pass that up.”
After I made up a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches, and by the time I got us each a bowl of soup, the entire cabin smelled like home. As soon as I sat his bowl down, Max reached for his spoon and took a large bite. “Oh, man. It’s even better than I remembered.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
Just as he was about to take another bite, he asked, “So, what brings you out to Whiskey Creek of all places.”
“I needed a little quiet time to work on my new book, and one of my co-workers suggested that I come out here for a few weeks.”
“Why didn’t you just go out to your folk’s place?”
“I would have, but they sold it.” I took a drink of my tea and tried to keep my voice from breaking as I continued, “It was filled with too many memories, so my dad decided it was time to let it go.”
“I hate to hear that.” Disappointment crossed his face as he leaned back in his chair. “I always loved it there.”
“I did, too. I had a lot of good times there.”
“We all did. And your folks? How are they doing?”
“They’re okay. Dad is getting ready to retire and is threatening to get an RV so he can take Mom traveling around the country. To say the least, she isn’t thrilled about the idea.”
Max laughed then said, “I can think of worse ways to spend my retirement.”
“You know Mom. She’ll go and end up loving it. I just think her idea of traveling didn’t include a house on wheels.”
“I’m sure it didn’t.”
“What about your girl, Natalie? Do you still talk to her?”
“We talk when we can, but she’s got her hands full with three small kids and a new teaching job.”
“Natalie is a teacher?”
“Yep. Believe it or not, she’s really great at it.”
We spent the next half hour eating and talking, and once we were done, Max offered to make a fire. I’d considered telling him no, but I wasn’t ready for him to go. I liked having him here. I liked it a lot.