CHAPTER 7
Max
T he Christmas before my deployment was the best I’d ever had. It was good to be back home to see my folks and to spend time with Harper. The time I shared with her flew by, but the memories would last me a lifetime. I planned to hold on to each and every one of those memories whenever things got tough in Iraq. Unfortunately, I would be recalling those times with her sooner than I’d realized. Brody and I knew we were being deployed to Anbar Province. From everything we’d heard, things in Iraq were settling down. Troops were withdrawing and the President declared more would follow, but the situation in Anbar was far from settled. Sunni insurgents had taken control, and it was up to us to help Iraqi forces take that control back.
I’d spent the past year and a half preparing to take the battlefield. After boot camp and SOI, I was assigned to my first unit as a rifleman in the 1st Marine Division. Brody and I had both spent a year receiving specialized training in mountain warfare, conventional tactics of fire and maneuver, and urban operations, and once we were done, we were ready for whatever they had planned. Brody and I, along with the rest of our unit, left California with a fleet consisting of: a small aircraft carrier, two troop ships, two destroyers, and a submarine—and headed for the Middle East. Five weeks later, our MEU arrived in the Gulf, and we were deployed into an area Northwest of Fallujah in Al Anbar Province.
After being there several months, Brody and I were becoming accustomed to our new routine, but the climate was another thing altogether. There was no way to prepare yourself for the heat, especially when we were out patrolling our assigned area. Dust swirled around our boots as we walked along the dirt road, making my mouth feel even drier, like it was crammed with cotton. With our guns in hand and our eyes constantly surveilling the area, Brody eased over to me and teased. “You know, all we’re missing is a lawn chair, a cooler, and a big, fat ass waterhole to jump into.”
“You got that right. I’d dive in right now, fatigues and all,” I agreed, as I wiped the sweat from my brow. I could use a quick dip, even if it was only for a few minutes. We were wearing over seventy pounds of gear; with our flak jackets with armor plates, our helmets, water, ammo, kits, and gloves. The sun blazing down on us only intensified the heat.
Duncan, one of the guys from our unit, chuckled and said, “Yeah, a good ol’ dip in the pool would be great right about now. I can almost hear Terrance’s big ass hitting the water.” He was tall, lanky, and goofy as hell with a crooked smile which made him look younger than he really was. We all liked having him around. “Can you imagine that shit? He’d make one hell of a splash.”
“Fuck you, Boots,” Terrance grumbled. I glanced over at the big brute of a man next to me and couldn’t help but smile when I saw the disgusted expression on his face. “You talk too damn much.”
Duncan just laughed and shook his head. “You know I’m right. Hell, I’d pay money to see that shit.” He paused for a minute, then added, “Damn, I could use a cold beer and a cigarette.”
“Stupid jarhead,” Terrance complained. “It’s too fucking hot to smoke.”
Tate and Joey chimed in, giving their two cents, and before long, we were all wishing we had a pool to dive into. These men had become family to both Brody and me, and being with them was one of the best parts of becoming a Marine. I’d lay down my life for any one of them and knew they’d do the same for me. As we continued to walk, I looked over at Brody and noticed that he was soaked in sweat, so I stopped and grabbed my water bottle. “Time to hydrate.”
Following my lead, he took his water and guzzled down a quick drink. I knew I didn’t have to remind him, but before we were deployed, Brody’s folks asked me to watch over him while we were gone. They were worried, so even when I knew he could take care of himself, I did what I could. Brody replaced his water bottle and continued walking forward. Our group was almost done with the day’s patrol, and our final stop was just a few yards away when I said, “Harper’s letter said it was snowing back at home.”
“Now, why did you have to go and put that thought in my head,” he grumbled. “Were they getting a lot?”
“Yep. They’d closed the schools.”
“Damn. I’m sure Harper’s loving that.” While I regretted not telling him sooner, Brody had taken the news about Harper and me better than I’d expected. When I first told him that I was falling for his little sister, he laughed. Apparently, he’d known for months and was just waiting for me to have the guts to tell him. After I tried to apologize for not being upfront with him, he hugged me and said he couldn’t think of a better guy to date his little sister.
Thinking of her laid out on the sofa in her pajamas watching it snow, I looked over to him and replied, “I bet she’s laid up watching TV and eating popcorn right about now.”
Ignoring me, Brody suddenly stopped, and his attention was drawn to a dilapidated house across the street. “Did you see that?”
My shoulders tensed. “What?”
The others from our unit hadn’t noticed anything unusual and kept walking. When they saw that we’d stopped, Duncan and Terrance motioned us forward. “It was nothing. Let’s go.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. It was just a reflection or something.”
It was easy to get spooked when you were so far from home and had no idea who you could or couldn’t trust. Add in the occasional gunfire, explosions, and members of al Qaeda running around in disguise, and any man would be a little jumpy. Assuming everything was okay, we followed the others back to camp.
Our unit was holed up in an old, two story house they’d bought from one of the Iraqis who fled the area. Anbar was covered with insurgents, and they wanted nothing more than to kill each and every one of us. Doing what we could to keep the place safe, we’d double bagged the windows and used the large, bastion roof as guard posts. Each day we’d monitor our area, engage in counter attacks, and fight to keep our territory safe. It wasn’t always like the games we’d played or the movies we’d seen. We all knew that at any moment there could be another strike against us, like the day one of our convoys was hit with IED devices, or the time snipers killed two of our guys. Something about seeing your fellow soldiers—your brothers—on CNN made everything seem more real.
Once we were all back on site and settled, Brody sprawled out on his spot on the floor. One thing we’d learned since being in the Marines was how to sleep just about anywhere with little or nothing between us and the ground. His eyes were closed, and I’d thought he’d fallen asleep until I heard him ask, “Remember the time we went sledding down that hill behind the high school?”
“Using the hood from Tommy Johnson’s car?”
“Yeah. That was awesome. I can’t believe how fast that damn thing would go.”
“I also remember you falling off that damn thing and almost getting yourself killed. You remember that ?”
“It wasn’t that bad!”
“You almost hit a fucking tree at sixty miles an hour.”
“But I didn’t,” he scoffed. “And it was fun as shit.”
Exhausted, I laid down and propped my head on my jacket. As I closed my eyes, I smiled, remembering the look on his face when he’d finally come to a stop. He was covered head to toe with snow, and there was a huge smile plastered across his face. “Yeah. It was fun. We’ll have to do that again someday.”
“You bet your ass we will.”
The room grew quiet as everyone started to doze off. Like most nights, none of us slept long. When we weren’t battling insurgents, there were always patrols that needed to be done, sandbags that needed to be filled, and posts that needed to be guarded. Days rolled into weeks, and weeks rolled into months. It was hard to believe that our first tour was coming to an end in a few weeks.
Some time later, we were filling sandbags when Brody turned to me and said, “I guess you know Harper got accepted to Central Washington.”
“Yeah. She seems pretty excited about it.”
“I can’t believe she wants to be a writer. I’m guessing all those letters to you had something to do with that.” He snickered.
“She’s good, man. You should read some of her papers.”
“You’ve read her stuff?”
“A couple of things.”
He gave me a disapproving look. “How come she never asked me to read any of it?”
“I guess you’ll have to ask her that,” I told him as I reached for another sandbag, but we were out. “Can you grab us some more bags?”
“Yeah. Give me a second.”
He’d taken a few steps forward when an explosion shook the ground behind me, and dust and debris scattered through the air. I could hear my commander shouting orders as we all rushed to find cover. Gunfire erupted around me as I ducked behind a wall of sandbags and aimed my weapon. As I started to return fire, Brody fell in behind me. My focus was on the gunmen ahead, and my injured brothers who were trying to pull themselves out of the line of fire. Terrance had been hit in the shoulder, and I was about to go to him when I felt Brody’s hand reach for my leg. I quickly turned to look at him, and my stomach twisted into knots when I saw blood gushing from his neck. I quickly dropped to his side and wrapped my fingers around his neck, clamping my hand firmly against his wound. A piece of debris must’ve struck him, ripping away at his flesh. Knowing he needed help I couldn’t give him, I shouted, “Doc ! We need you over here!”
Seconds later, Duncan rushed over to us. As soon as he saw Brody, he growled, “Fuck. This is bad.”
“We need Doc. Now !”
Duncan motioned to Brandon once more, then turned back to Brody and said, “He’s coming. Just hang in there, man.”
Brody’s eyes locked on mine, and a high-pitched whistling sound came from his mouth when he tried to say something. I knew he was in trouble, and panic washed over me as I watched the color drain from his face. “Don’t try to talk, Brody. Just take slow and easy breaths. In … and … out. In … and … out.”
I watched the slow rise and fall of his chest, and when his breathing became shallow, I shook him. “You’ve gotta stay with me. You can’t let go. Please, don’t let go!”
“He’s losing blood fast. I think they got him in the carotid.” Duncan reached into his side pocket and handed me a rag. “Hold this against the wound. Use lots of pressure.”
When Brandon finally made his way over to us, I could see that he was nervous about treating Brody. Brandon wasn’t a real doctor. While he knew more than the rest of us and had already saved many lives, he’d only taken an eight-week combat lifesavers course, and I doubted it had prepared him for a situation like Brody’s. Bullets zipped over our heads, causing both of us to duck and cover Brody’s body. Not wasting any time, Doc set to work on him. He removed the rag from his neck, and blood came rushing out of his wound. He quickly covered it with a bandage that had quick clot ingrained in it. He held it firm against the wound as he looked over to me and said, “We’ve gotta get him out of here.”
We were still under fire, and even though it was going to be tricky to move him, I knew we had no choice. Doc held his hand securely against Brody’s neck as we lifted him from the ground. When we started towards an abandoned building, I turned to Duncan and ordered, “Cover us.”
By the time we got him inside the building, Brody was in bad shape. I felt completely helpless as I looked down at him and pleaded, “You’ve got to hold on, brother. Hold on .”
His breathing was becoming weaker by the second, and he was having trouble keeping his eyes open. His head rolled to the side, and he strained to keep his focus on me. Once again, he tried to open his mouth to speak, but I shook my head. “You don’t have to say it. I already know. I’ll tell them. They already know, but I’ll tell them how much you loved them. I’ll make sure they know it.”
He blinked slowly, letting me know he understood what I was saying. I gave his hand a squeeze as tears stung against my eyes. The realization of what I’d done started to sink in. If I hadn’t sent him for more bags, if I had just gone to get them myself, then it would’ve been me who’d gotten hit. It would’ve been me fighting for my life, and not Brody. It was my fault. “I love you, man. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I have no idea if he heard those final words I spoke to him. As soon as I said them, his eyes glassed over and air seeped from his lungs. I sat there holding my friend’s hand—my brother’s hand, until the life completely drained from his body. I’d never experienced pain like I’d felt watching him die. The Marines had prepared me for just about anything, but they failed to prepare me for losing my best friend—for losing my brother. He was the one person who stood by my side, through thick and thin, and never once let me down. I didn’t want to believe he was really gone. Long after he’d taken his last breath, I stayed there with him, pleading and bargaining with God to let me take his place, but those prayers remained unanswered. As much as I hated it, I was destined to live out the rest of my life consumed with guilt and a heart forever broken.