“You haven’t forgotten your promise to me, have you?” Melinda sounded more than a little concerned.

Hunter sighed, he was sitting on the sofa in his living room talking on the phone to his mother. Luke sat nearby and the movie they had been watching was paused mid-scene.

“Which promise?” asked Hunter. Whatever it was, he was pretty sure he’d forgotten it.

“Easter Dinner?”

“Oh. Right. When was that again?”

It was Melinda’s turn to sigh. “Sunday. This Sunday. You promised you’d be there.”

Yes, he had said he would be there. He’d also fully intended to find a job that would keep him busy that day so he didn’t have to go and spend the day with family. While his relationship with his mother felt a little bit stronger than it had in the past, the rest of his extended family were still distant to him. The thought of spending an entire afternoon trying to put together names and faces of people he didn’t remember and didn’t really care about was not his idea of fun.

“I’ll have to check my work schedule,” lied Hunter. He knew full well the gallery was closed on Sunday. “I should be able to make it work, but I don’t know. My boss can be a bit of a pain sometimes.”

“Just try to let me know soon,” said Melinda. “I need to get a final headcount for dinner. Also, if there’s anyone you want to bring along, like a boyfriend or something, then feel free.”

“Y-yeah, okay mom. I’ll text you once I check the schedule.” Hunter hung up before the conversation could get anymore awkward than it already had.

“Lying to your mom about work,” Luke laughed. “That’s terrible.”

Hunter ignored him and set his cell phone aside. “Did you tell my mom we were dating?”

“No, why.”

“Just something she said. She told me if I wanted to bring a boyfriend to Easter Dinner then I should just ‘feel free.’” Hunter looked sidelong at Luke. “Are you sure you didn’t say anything?”

“Scout’s honor,” said Luke, saluting him with a grin. “But in all honesty, she’s your mom. She was pushing us to get married only a few weeks after we met. She’s probably hoping you and I are at least friendly with each other and you’ll get the hint and ask me out or something.”

“There’s no way out of this, is there?” asked Hunter with a sigh. “I’ve got to go to this Easter Dinner thing. Unless I want to hurt my mom’s feelings that is.”

“You don’t have to go alone,” said Luke, sliding along the couch towards Hunter. “I actually love your mom’s cooking.”

“It’s going to be awful,” Hunter groaned and flopped to one side, resting his head in Luke’s lap. “I don’t want to spend an entire day surrounded by people I don’t know who are probably going to bring up things I can’t remember. Then they’ll act all apologetic and sorry for me that I can’t remember that really funny story.”

“You’re forgetting something important,” said Luke, stroking Hunter’s hair. “I know all of these people. I’ve been going to Easter Dinner with you for years. If anyone can help you thwart them, it’s me.”

Hunter sat up and looked him in the eye. “Do we have any pictures?”

“Of what exactly?”

“My family, all those people that are going to be there.”

“Um...maybe. I think your mom uploaded them all last year so they’re probably online,” said Luke, tilting his head slightly. “What are you thinking?”

Hunter bounced off the couch and trotted across the living room to the bookcase where his laptop was stored. He came back a minute later and handed it to Luke.

“I want you to quiz me. I want to be able to put names to faces before we go. When we get there I want to see the confused looks on their faces when I greet them all by name.” Hunter was excited by the prospect. He might not be able to share any of their memories of him, but he could certainly stop them from showering him with their pity.

“Okay, yeah,” said Luke, opening the laptop and warming to the idea. “If you can memorize them all and maybe a story or two we can definitely unsettle them. They usually tell the same stories every year so it’s not that difficult to figure out which ones they might bring up.”

Hunter smiled and laid a hand on Luke’s arm. They were partners in crime now. They shared a secret plot no one else would know about or be in on. It was like their very own spy movie, and he was the secret agent preparing for a mission. He had to learn the material perfectly or their ploy would be revealed and the mission would fail.

“What are you grinning about?” asked Luke, meeting Hunter’s gaze.

“It’s nothing,” Hunter shook his head slowly. “I guess I just really like this idea.”

Luke glanced back at the computer screen. “Here are the pictures from last year,” he said, pulling up a series of photos. “Your parents usually have dinner for twelve on Easter. There’s you and I, and the two of them. Then there’s your mother’s sister, her husband and their two kids, as well as your grandparents from both sides. However, your Aunt had another baby last year, so there’s likely to be thirteen of us.”

“See I’m already better off than I would’ve been alone,” said Hunter, peering at the images. “Now, let’s get started.”

***

OVER THE NEXT THREE days, Hunter poured every free moment into studying the pictures and names Luke had given him. Luke had also provided him with several of the most common stories that several family members were prone to telling over and over again.

By the time Sunday morning rolled around, he believed he was ready.

“My mother’s sister’s name is Molly, her husband is Louis. My cousins are Dean and Cora, and the baby is Felix. Mom’s parents are Ruth and Joe. Dad’s parents are Susan and George.” He recited the list as he checked his appearance in the mirror. “Joe served in Vietnam and Ruth was a nurse who tended his wounds after a bullet caught him in the shoulder. George was a draft dodger, but he says it was because of his poor health on account of being born prematurely. Susan worked in a department store and they fell in love when George saved her from an armed robber.”

Hunter shook his head slowly. There was so much to remember already, keeping it fresh in his head was proving to be difficult. It wasn’t helped by the fact that apparently his grandparents’ stories grew more elaborate with each retelling, and it seemed they had some sort of unspoken rivalry that required them to one up each other almost constantly.

“You’re going to be fine,” Luke reassured Hunter as he approached from behind and laid his hands on his shoulders.

Hunter met Luke’s eyes in the mirror and confidence surged in him. Yes, he was as ready as he was going to be. He had prepared himself for this situation as much as he possibly could. All that was left was to put their plan into motion.

***

IT WAS IMMEDIATELY obvious something was off when Luke parked on the street outside of Hunter’s parents’ house. There were far more cars shoved into the driveway and lining the street than there should have been.

Half a dozen children were running around the yard collecting brightly colored eggs, while a small crowd of people lined the driveway watching.

“You said twelve,” said Hunter as he clenched the door handle. “You said twelve.”

“Dammit Melinda,” sighed Luke, sinking back into his seat. “Looks like she dragged out the Christmas crowd too. Your dad’s siblings, your mom’s great aunt and her children, and grandchildren. You’ve also got a couple of close family friends and their kids thrown into the mix as well.”

“She must be making up for the quiet Christmas we had. She kept everyone away while I was  recovering. Please tell me you know them all,” pleaded Hunter, looking over at Luke with desperation.

“I never managed to master the Christmas guest list,” admitted Luke with a mournful expression. “But since I was just the boyfriend then it was to be expected. I didn’t put too much effort into trying to track them all down.”

Hunter stared in stunned silence for several minutes.

“Do you want to go home?” asked Luke at last. “I can turn us around and we can go right back to the loft.”

“N-no,” Hunter shook his head. “We told her we’d be here. She’s always been there for me when she said she would. I can’t just tuck tail and run now.” He sighed. “Even though I really want to.”

“Okay,” said Luke. “But if you get too uncomfortable, we can always tell your mom the baby is getting rowdy and we need to leave. Okay?”

“Yeah, good idea,” said Hunter. Knowing they had an escape plan in place made everything a little more bearable. He placed a hand on his pregnant belly. It was hard to believe he was over halfway through his pregnancy now. He’d even felt the baby kick the other night.

“Hunter!” Melinda shouted as Hunter and Luke approached the house. She emerged from the crowd and rushed down the driveway to meet them. “You came! I’m so happy.”

“I told you I’d be here, Mom,” said Hunter as she pulled him into a hug.

“And you brought Luke!” Melinda quickly hugged him as well. “I didn’t realize you two were back together. And just in time for the baby!”

“W-well...” Hunter’s voice trailed off. They still hadn’t explained everything to Melinda just yet.

“Yup,” agreed Luke, sliding an arm around Hunter’s shoulders and kissing his forehead. “We’re back together. We even went ahead and got construction started on the house.”

“Really!?” Melinda sounded astonished. “I’ve missed so much! Hunter you need to call me more and tell me things. I shouldn’t be finding out after the fact like this.”

“S-sorry mom,” said Hunter, running a hand nervously through his hair.

“It’s fine, let’s get you inside and off your feet. I remember carrying you was like having a bowling ball strapped to a watermelon sitting on my bladder all day. My entire sense of balance was thrown off and there was nothing I could do about it.” She sighed as she urged Hunter towards the crowd of people hovering outside the front door.

“Make way!” shouted Melinda. “We’ve got a preggo coming through. If you don’t want me to kick you in the shins then you’ll get out of the way.”

“There’s no reason to threaten everyone, mom,” said Hunter, blushing with embarrassment as the crowd of gathered family members slowly made a path to the front door for him.

“Nonsense,” she said with a laugh as she followed him inside. “They’re all a bunch of savages anyway. They’d force you to walk through them and then get mad when your big ol’ belly knocks into them.”

“I...” Hunter’s eyes bulged as he stepped into the semi-familiar living room that was now full of at least a dozen more people. Exactly how big was his family, and why were they all here right now?

“Right then. Up you get Zach, that chair’s reserved for people who need it,” said Melinda, kicking the foot of a disinterested teenager staring at his cellphone while sitting in one of the overstuffed recliners.

“I was sitting here first,” groaned the teenager, glaring up from his phone and making no effort to move.

“Well, it’s my chair, in my house, and I say you’re going to move. So move.” Melinda kicked at his foot again, this time with a little more force.

“Mom, you don’t have to do this. I can just sit over there.” Hunter gestured to one of the chairs on the other side of the room.

“Those metal torture devices are hell. There’s no way I’m letting my pregnant son sit on one of those things. Now, Zach, move or I’m going to tell your mom about the magazine I found in your backpack when you came to visit last summer. I’ve still got it. I’m sure there’s DNA evidence to back up my claim too.” Melinda smiled sweetly.

Zach vacated the chair and retreated across the living room.

“His mother’s a forensic scientist,” explained Melinda.

“She wouldn’t actually do that though, right? That seems a little excessive,” said Hunter, sinking into the recliner. The dull ache in his feet was instantly relieved, and the rest of his body thanked him for the soft cushions.

“Yes, she would.” Melinda nodded matter-of-factly. “One of his classmates accused Zach of breaking into his locker and filling it with girls’ underwear. So she tromped down to the school and dusted the kid’s padlock for prints.”

Hunter shook his head slowly. “What kind of crazy family am I a part of?”

“The best,” said Melinda with a laugh. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. Let me get you something to drink.”

“How are you doing?” asked Luke, emerging from the crowd and dragging a chair along after him. “You look a little bewildered.”

“Luke, this family is like something out of a movie. This can’t be real.” Hunter took Luke’s hand as he sat down beside him.

“Most families are like that in one way or another,” said Luke. “Yours just has a little more of it than most.”

***

DESPITE THE CROWD OF people gathered at the house the rest of the afternoon was relatively uneventful. Most of the people present steered clear of Hunter, and he wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. Luke remained at his side, ever ready for Hunter to give him the signal it was time to leave.

To Hunter’s surprise, however, the situation was far more tolerable than he had feared. He wondered if people who actually remembered their families dreaded dinners like this as much as he had. Did those people also come to find it wasn’t as bad as they had initially feared?

The afternoon wore on and people began saying their goodbyes. As the crowd thinned out, a brief altercation erupted between Hunter’s two grandfathers.

Grandpa Joe, proudly wearing his Vietnam Veteran hat, was shouting down Grandpa George and calling him a coward and a liar. Grandpa George was saying the same things about Joe. They were practically at one another’s throats.

Despite the death threats being made no one else seemed all that concerned about it.

“I don’t understand...why is no one stopping them?” asked Hunter as the scene unfolded before them. “Someone needs to do something. They’re going to kill each other.”

“Just watch,” said Luke, sounding just as unconcerned as everyone else looked. “They do this at least once every time they’re in the same room together.”

A few more minutes of verbal abuse flew between the two senior citizens until at last Grandma Susan and Grandma Ruth both pulled themselves away from their card game.

“George, quit being an ass and get your coat,” Susan barked with authority. She turned back to Grandma Ruth and gave her a smile. “I’m sorry to cut the game short, Ruthie dear. Georgie gets so riled when his blood sugar drops.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, Susan,” said Ruth with a smile. “Joe’s the same way. We can pick this up again next time. Never fear.”

The two ladies shuffled their respective men off to find their coats, and all four of them left without another word to each other. The few remaining stragglers took that as the sign it was time to leave.

“I’m sure that took you by surprise,” said Melinda with a laugh as she approached Luke and Hunter.

“I don’t honestly understand. I mean, Luke told me about their history. I just didn’t realize...”

“The bad blood between the four of them runs deep,” said Melinda, sitting down on one of the empty chairs nearby.

“Susan and Ruth seemed to get along okay.”

Melinda laughed abruptly. “Leonard!” she shouted towards the kitchen. A moment later, Hunter’s dad peeked his head out into the living room.

“Leonard,” repeated Melinda, “Hunter thinks our moms were getting along.”

Leonard chuckled as he approached, drying his hands on a towel, and joined Melinda on the couch.

“They were playing cards,” said Leonard. “I don’t even know what game they are playing anymore. They’ve changed the rules so much it’s practically its own game now. But suffice to say, their battle was just as heated as your grandfathers’.”

“At the end there, Susan was the first to speak. She was probably losing the match,” said Melinda with a laugh. “Ruth’s final words were essentially a much politer version of ‘this isn’t over. I’ll end you.’”

Hunter shook his head slowly. “I thought they were seriously going to hurt one another.”

“There was a time when they would have,” said Melinda. “At the rehearsal dinner for our wedding, they got into a huge fist fight. Neither of them wanted us to get married. It was really distressing. Ruth and Susan stood there flinging verbal insults at each other while their husbands rolled around on the floor punching each other.”

“We finally dragged them apart, set the four of them down, and told them to grow up,” said Leonard. “We were getting married and they needed to find a way to make peace with that. We said no more physical fights. You lay a hand on one another ever again and you’re not going to see your grandkids.”

“That seems a little extreme,” said Hunter with a frown.

“Honestly, there wasn’t much else we could do. As it was, at the wedding they both had bruises and black eyes. It was embarrassing to be honest. But they never touched each other after that. They still fought, but as long as they’re not killing each other, I’m happy.” Melinda sighed and sank back into the couch cushions.

“You could have at least warned me about it,” said Hunter, gently prodding Luke in the ribs with a finger.

“The look on your face was too perfect,” said Luke. “You didn’t warn me the first time you brought me over for a family gathering. I’m sure I was just as shocked as you were just now. And you laughed and told me you had wanted to see how I’d react.”

“Revenge for something I can’t even remember? That’s too cruel.” Hunter sighed. There was a slight flutter in his stomach as the baby began to move. He rested a hand on his belly. “Looks like someone just woke up.”

“Can I feel?” asked Melinda, her face brightened considerably as she leaned forward. “I’ve been trying to keep from asking you questions all day, but I just can’t hold back anymore.”

Hunter’s heart swelled at the sight of the pure joy on his mother’s face. She was ready to be a grandma. He couldn’t have possibly denied her request.

“Here.” Hunter took her hand and laid it on the last spot the baby had kicked.

A moment later, a wide grin spread across her face. “He kicked, I felt him kick me. Oh, now that’s a healthy baby.”

“Have you found out the gender yet?” asked Leonard.

Hunter shook his head. “The doctor asked us if we wanted to know at our last scan, but I said no.”

“Why don’t you want to know!?” Melinda sounded exasperated. “I want to crochet all kinds of neat little baby things but I don’t know what color to use.”

“Yellow,” said Luke before Hunter could answer. “It’s bright and cheery and reminds me of spring.”

Hunter thought for a moment and nodded his head in agreement. “Yellow is a nice color.”

“Yes, but why don’t you want to know?” Melinda seemed completely baffled.

What would she think if he told her the truth? It wasn’t that he didn’t want to know, it was just that he didn’t really care. What would she think if she learned he didn’t plan on being a part of his child’s life?

He and Luke had talked and agreed that both sets of grandparents deserved to see and spend time with their grandchild. Just because Hunter had chosen not to take part didn’t mean they had to suffer as well. He still didn’t think his parents would understand his choice in this situation.

“We just wanted to be surprised,” said Luke, interrupting Hunter’s thoughts. “I’m going to love this child no matter what it turns out to be. So why does it matter if we find out what it’s going to be now or three months from now?”

“Yes, exactly,” agreed Hunter.

Melinda sighed, but seemed satisfied with the answer. “I still think you should find out, but it’s your child. I guess I’ve got to go buy some baby yellow yarn now.” She chuckled to herself. Despite her complaints, she still looked thrilled by the prospect of being a grandparent.

“I hate to cut this short,” said Luke, glancing out the window, “but unfortunately, we’ve got a long drive back and it’s getting dark. I’d like to get us on the road soon.”

“Awww, I wish you could just stay here until this little one is born,” said Melinda, laying her hand on Hunter’s belly once last time.

“Unfortunately, Mom,” said Hunter as Luke helped him to his feet, “I’ve got a job and commitments to meet.”

“You’re just about, what? Twenty four weeks? You really should go on paternity leave soon,” said Melinda as she followed after him and Luke.

“I’m not sure if I’m going to take leave,” said Hunter. They reached the front door and he paused. “My job isn’t too demanding, and my boss is really understanding. He’s actually throwing me a baby shower in a few weeks.” Hunter reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the invitation Allen had ordered him to give to her.

Melinda looked overjoyed. “Of course I’ll be there. I might drag a few other family members along as well. We’ll make sure you’ve got everything you need for the baby. Don’t worry about a thing.”

Hunter forced a smile. He didn’t really like the idea of a baby shower in the first place, but dragging his crazy overwhelming family into the mix was making him dread it even more.

“I think, honey, the whole reason he waited until now to give it to you is because he doesn’t want anyone else to be there,” Leonard suggested.

Hunter was beginning to realize his father was a man of reason.

“Fine,” relented Melinda. “But I’m at least going to bring your grandmothers. They should be there to help celebrate. Your grandfathers aren’t going to be interested so I won’t even try.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Hunter sighed internally. As long as his grandmothers didn’t break into an all-out fight, it shouldn’t be too bad. Right?

Luke opened the front door so he and Hunter could escape onto the front porch. Twilight had settled over the neighborhood. Crickets were chirping, cool evening air blew gently through the trees, and the flowers bobbed their heads.

“Be careful driving home,” said Melinda as Luke started down the front steps. “And be careful on those steps.”

Luke reached out a hand to help him down and Hunter took it. He slowly lowered himself to each step and fear that he would fall gripped the back of his mind. The baby had thrown off his center of balance, and more than once he thought he was going to tumble towards the ground. Thankfully, Luke kept him firmly upright.

Once both feet were firmly on the ground, Hunter breathed a sigh of relief.

“You okay?” asked Luke, releasing his hand and gently guiding him towards the driveway.

“Yeah, just a little unstable on those stairs,” said Hunter, willing his heart beat to return to normal. “Nothing to worry about, I’m fine now.”

Luke quirked a smile at him, but said nothing.

Hunter didn’t see the crack in the pavement where the driveway met the path. He didn’t have time to react after tripping. Gravity took over as the world around him seemed to slow down. Luke was desperately reaching for him. Back on the porch, his parents were already rushing down the steps.

He tried to throw his arms in front of himself or roll to his side, but he couldn’t move quickly enough. He felt as if his entire body was made of lead, so heavy he would crash into the ground at top speed.