Chapter 9
August
Matt tried to ignore the insistent text messages.
"Texts usually stop if you answer them," Julian said as he picked up the sheet of drywall.
"We're working," Matt said, lifting his end of the sheet as another text message alert chirped. They dropped the last of the sheets into the room just as another beep came from his phone.
"I've got this. Go ahead and deal with whatever you need to deal with. I don't want you distracted while we're working," Julian said as he sliced the first sheet of drywall with the blade.
Matt nodded and left the room with his cell phone in hand. He scrolled through the dozen messages from his brother. The last one mentioning an impromptu visit to the condo pushed him to dial the number.
"Why the hell are you avoiding me, Matt?" Alex said, skipping over any niceties.
"I'm not avoiding you. I was busy and couldn't answer your call or text."
"Well, I'm coming by the condo tonight so I'll see you then. I want you to meet someone."
"I'm not there anymore. I figured Mom would have told you—"
"I don't talk to Mom unless I have to, Matt. You know that."
Matt sighed and looked upward, hoping for a shot of patience to continue the conversation. He had given up everything in hopes of Alex repairing his relationship with their parents, not for it to grow farther apart. He was supposed to be the ideal son while Matt took the blame for the fuck ups.
"Alex, you need to try with Mom. You need to—"
"I don't want to talk about Mom. I met someone. I really want you to meet her. If you're not at the condo, give me the address of the new place and we'll come to you."
"My place is going through renovations so how about we meet at Alessiomano's instead?"
"That's the place on Flagler, right?"
"Yeah, that one. How about eight?"
Alessiomano's was a family owned, quaint restaurant that was quiet and allowed for conversation without screaming over children or crowds of people. He wanted Alex to straighten up his act but he never thought his brother would actually settle down with someone. He couldn't deny his piqued curiosity.
He finished the call and rejoined Julian who had already managed to cover two sides of the room with drywall. Julian watched him with interest but didn't push or ask questions. He rarely ever did.
They continued to quietly work for another hour until Julian decided to break for a supply run to the hardware store.
While Julian shopped for supplies, Matt grabbed a sandwich and drink for his lunch break. He sat on the back porch and took a bite of his sandwich while his mind raced with thoughts of seeing Alex again. He hadn't seen Alex in almost four years, and he was anxious, hopeful his brother had used that time to focus on becoming a better man rather than spiraling further with guilt. But he wouldn't kid himself, he was nervous as hell and couldn't do this alone, so he called the one person he thought could help him during this time.
"Hey there," Sam answered on the first ring. "How are the renos going with Mr. Pound-me-with-a-hammer?"
Matt laughed. "Things are going well. Do you have plans tonight?"
"I'm vegging out on the couch and I have a date with a comedy lineup. What's up?"
"Alex met someone and he wants me to meet her. So we're meeting up for dinner tonight at Alessiomano's. Can you come?"
"I take it Alex didn't invite me. What's going on, Matt?"
Matt fidgeted. Asking Sam to come with him was a low blow. Sam's paternal instincts caused him to be overly protective and he wasn't thrilled about the sacrifice Matt had made for his brother—an opinion Sam didn't hesitate to express when he went out of his way to meet Alex while Matt was in prison. Now, with someone else in Alex's life, the potential of another person knowing the truth of what had really happened, yeah, it was no wonder Sam didn't jump at the chance to join him.
"I don't want to be the lonely guy there. I just need a little support. I'm not really sure how things are going to go and I haven't seen Alex in so long, I'm just…I don't know," he finished with a deep exhale.
"What about Julian? Did you ask him?"
"No. I don't want to involve him in my family stuff." Matt absently ran his hand through his slowly growing hair. He wasn't going to deny he was growing his hair for Julian. The thought of Julian running his fingers through Matt's hair or gripping it during a heated kiss had him half-hard. He wasn't entirely sure what was going on between them, but he didn't want to ruin it by poisoning a potential blooming relation with the toxicity of his family.
"Okay. I'll pick you up," Sam responded, as friendly and enthusiastic as always.
Arrangements made, Matt pocketed his cell and tried not to think about family for the next few hours.
* * * *
Matt arrived at the restaurant and immediately saw Alex sitting in a corner booth with a beautiful woman with long, flowing dark hair. He paused for a moment when his brother smiled widely before whispering something in the woman's ear. It was the first time in too many years he had seen Alex look happy.
"We can't stand here forever," Sam said, nudging him. "Just put one foot in front of the other and lean forward a bit. That'll get you going."
"You're worse than he is."
"Who?"
"Never mind," Matt said, running his fingers through his hair.
Alex stood as Matt approach, his smile faltered slightly when he looked over Matt's shoulder and saw Sam. To his credit, he tried to maintain the positive façade as best he could.
"Hi," Matt said, extending his hand in greeting to his brother.
Alex pulled him in for a hug. "I've missed you, man."
Matt tightened his hold on his brother. "Me, too. You look good."
Alex stepped away then looked over to Sam again, the smile slowly slipping. "Sam."
"Hi, Alex," Sam said in his usual cordial tone as he shook Alex's hand.
"I'd like you to meet my fiancée, Lindy," Alex said, reaching for her then wrapping his arm around her waist when she rose from her seat. She stood tall and proud next to Alex, her hand reaching up behind his shoulder to casually stroke him.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lindy," Matt said, shaking her offered hand. "This is Sam. He's a friend of mine."
They took their seats in the booth when the waiter arrived. Matt smiled at Alex's refusal to the offered wine. His brother had never actually been sober in a social setting since he discovered Dad's whiskey on his thirteenth birthday. Matt assumed it was how Alex coped with everything at home. He knew far too well how exhausting it was to live in the shadow of the Collings-Lloyd name.
"You look surprised," Alex said with a grin. "I told you I would quit. I've been sober now for four years and six months."
Lindy reached for Alex's hand which he squeezed tightly.
"He's told me how much he used to drink. He stays in touch with his sponsor and goes to meetings," she said, brushing away a stray hair from Alex's face. She looked over to Matt and her green eyes held a fire of determination. "He won't go back to drinking. He has no desire to touch the bottle at all and we owe that to you and what you did for him."
Alex reached over and pecked her on the cheek, earning him her focus and a smile.
"Excuse me," she said, rising from her seat then making her way to the restroom.
"I'm proud of you, Alex," Matt said, looking at his brother's vivid blue eyes absent of the glaze of alcohol.
"Thanks, Matt," Alex said, sighing deeply. "You have no idea how much that means to me."
"You told her about what Matt did?" Sam asked.
Alex looked over to Sam in disbelief. "I don't want to lie to her—"
"How long have you been with her? How serious is this?"
"Why the hell is he here?" Alex said to Matt.
"Alex, he's a friend and you know he's been there for me during all this. Please."
Alex threw his napkin on the table and stretched out. "I've been with her for almost two years. She makes it easier for me to be the guy Matt wants me to be…and the guy I want to be. She's important to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. That's why I proposed to her yesterday. So yes, Sam, it's serious."
"If anyone knew Matt had lied about your role in all this—"
"Stop, please," Matt said then sat back in his chair. It was too much information to digest at once. Seeing his brother after so long was difficult, but hearing he'd been seeing someone now for a while without him knowing was almost too tough to bear. Even through Alex's drunkenness, they had always been each other's support. And now, here they were, two completely different men, changed for different reasons. Alex finally had a chance at a life with a partner who loved him free from the baggage that had followed them for far too long.
"What if they break up, Matt? If she—"
"No, Sam, I don't want him hiding. They're getting married. He needs to be honest with her about himself."
Sam shook his head. "Matt, you spent five years of your life in there. Do you want to run the risk of going back in for perjury? What if she says something to someone? That's going to ruin you?"
"I realize you don't know me," Lindy said, her voice steady and low as she moved to take her seat in the booth. "But you need to know, without question, I love Alex and would never hurt or betray him. He loves Matt more than you can imagine and wants to rebuild their relationship. I would appreciate the chance to be a part of helping that happen because I know how much that would mean to him."
"And me," Matt said.
Alex looked over to Matt and his stunned look softened. He visibly relaxed in the seat when Matt smiled at Lindy.
Throughout dinner, he saw a different Alex, one who was happy, loved, and who laughed openly. When they left, Matt was at peace. Finally, it seemed his brother was on the right path to love and a future without the negative influences of their family or the aloofness the bottle seemed to cause. He was grounded, certain of his future with Lindy and his steady position at a reputable financial firm.
Sam turned off the engine when they arrived to the house and sat quietly in the car.
"Don't fight me on this, Sam. I know you're worried—"
"I like her."
Matt removed his seat belt and turned toward Sam. "Me, too." He smiled then looked through the front windshield to the lighted second floor of the house. Sam followed his gaze.
"It's late. He's still working?"
"He usually works really late. I try to get him to quit early sometimes but he's adamant about the deadlines," he said, still looking through the window, hoping the absence of construction noise meant Julian had finally stopped working for the night.
"You know, your brother seems like he's got things sorted in his life."
"Yeah, he does," Matt said, leaning back in the seat.
"Maybe you should too?" Sam said with a raised eyebrow.
"I am. The halfway house is on schedule—"
"I'm referring to this thing between you guys," Sam said with a chin up gesture to the house.
Matt ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what this thing is." He knew there was something brewing between them, but he also knew Julian was private and reserved most of the time. He held onto the promise of another kiss each time they worked closely.
"Matt, you need to do something for yourself for once in your life."
Matt turned again in his seat and paused when Sam held up a quieting hand.
"I'm not talking about the house. That's something you're doing for yourself, yes, and it's a wonderful thing that's going to help a lot of people. But it's also something you want to do for your aunt and Liam. I want you to do something for you. I want you to live your life for yourself, not as atonement to others. There's nothing selfish about that." Sam pointed to the house. "And if he makes you happy, then stop overthinking."
Matt turned away but his gaze absently wandered to the second floor again. "I don't want to push whatever this thing is between us. I'm taking things slow and following his cues."
"Maybe he's doing the same thing."
Matt shrugged. He didn't want to risk extinguishing the fire he felt sparking between them.
"You okay?"
Matt nodded. "Thanks for coming with me."
Sam laughed. "I'm always available for a free dinner. Give me a call next week, I think I might have your first resident."
"Yeah?"
"He still has some time in his term, but I'm trying to pull some strings to see if I can get him out a little earlier. I want to have a talk about his placement once I have more information on whether I can get the request for early release. I'm running into a few hurdles, so I figure the timing will work out with your grand opening."
"Okay, just let me know," Matt said before opening his door. "Thanks again."
Sam drove away with a wave goodbye. Matt turned to face the house and shoved his hands in his pockets then looked up. The breath left his lungs when he saw Julian outlined by the light, staring out the window and down at him. They stood, gazes locked on each other for a few moments until finally Julian squared his shoulders and stepped away from the window.
Matt yawned and walked to the house. Had Julian waited up for him? Why had he been watching him?
He thought of Alex and how happy he had been with Lindy over dinner. He looked up again to the second floor and saw the light switch off. He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face at the thought that maybe Julian had waited up for him to get back home.
* * * *
"Dammit," Julian mumbled as a lump of plaster fell on him. He wiped off his forehead and continued to apply the plaster to the seam of the new ceiling drywall.
"Morning," Matt said with a yawn as he entered the room.
"Long night," he said, scooping more plaster as he continued his work, trying to ignore the new desire to rip apart this Sam guy.
"Can I help?"
"No," he said, slapping the spatula against the drywall a little harder than needed.
"Why are you mad?"
"I'm not mad."
"You sound mad."
"I know mad. This is not it," he said, slapping the spatula against the seam while he fought off the images of Sam putting his hands on Matt.
"Just let me help," Matt said, picking up the other spatula.
"I've got this," Julian said, spreading more plaster, trying to catch the clump that was about to fall. He watched Matt grab the second ladder and set up his spot to start working. Matt climbed the steps and a rush of panic slapped Julian when he saw Matt wobble slightly. "Get down."
"I'm helping you," Matt said, applying plaster to another section of drywall.
Julian quickly climbed down and grabbed the base of Matt's ladder. "Get down, you're not stable."
Matt looked over his shoulder and grabbed the top rung when it shifted again.
"Get down," Julian said, trying to maintain a level tone while his heartbeat pounded in his ears. "Please."
Matt looked at him steady, then finally gave in and stepped down. "Why won't you let me help you?"
Julian wasn't sure what the hell was going on with himself. He wanted Matt close, always did, but he couldn't stop the visuals of Matt with Sam that continued to taunt him.
"Julian?" Matt said after a few moments of silence.
Julian shrugged as a clump of plaster fell on his head, down his face then hit the floor with a thump.
Matt tightened his lips, trying to hold in the laughter but couldn't hide the glint of humor in his eyes.
"Shit," Julian said, wiping away the plaster that had fallen on him.
Matt walked over to the corner of the room, grabbed a towel and bottled water. He sprinkled some water on the towel and walked back over to Julian.
"You missed a spot," he said, grabbing Julian's face and turning it to wipe his cheek.
Julian remained quiet while Matt wiped his head and face, enjoying the feel of Matt's hands on him.
"There, all done."
"How was your date last night?"
Matt cocked his head, questioning. "I wouldn't call it a date. I had dinner with my brother and his new fiancée."
Julian nodded and pursed his lips. He had no right to ask and doing so clearly crossed the line of keeping things business. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
"I noticed you waited up," Matt said, observing him.
Julian looked away. He wasn't sure what had driven him to wait up last night. He had just needed to make sure Matt came home and was fine.
"Julian?"
His vision snapped back to Matt. "Yeah, I…uh…wanted to make sure you got back fine. I noticed you were tense when you left."
Matt silently observed him for a few moments. "Okay."
Julian nodded and looked away again.
"Can I help you here or would you prefer I work in the other room today?" Matt asked in a low, careful tone.
Julian wanted Matt near, but the visions of him with Sam were overwhelming. He was mixing the plaster wrong and would probably open a hole in the drywall if he continued slapping it so hard with the spatula.
Julian rubbed his shaved head. "Can you paint the primer in the other room?" he said then lowered his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn't want to look at Matt with all these indecipherable emotions brewing within. He didn't want Matt to see him as anything other than solid, stable, and reliable.
"Okay. Those are the white buckets in the corner, right?"
Julian nodded.
"Okay, I'll get that done," he said, walking away.
"Make sure the ladder is stable before you climb on it," Julian said, stopping Matt before he walked out.
Matt smiled. "Okay."
Julian nodded and lowered his brows, hating that he was pushing away Matt right now and didn't even know why. He turned and snatched one of the bags of plaster to mix the compound again.
"Hey, Julian?"
Julian looked up, midway through pouring the contents into the bucket, and saw Matt standing in the doorway.
"My brother was the guy texting me yesterday while we were working," he said, shuffling his feet. "I hadn't seen him in years, so I was a little nervous about seeing him after so long. I asked Sam to come with me for support. It's complicated but it wasn't a date."
He finished with a pointed look at Julian before walking out.
Julian exhaled heavily. Somehow, Matt's words seemed to calm him.
He finished the new mix of plaster, grabbed his spatula again, and resumed his work.
It wasn't a date.
He half smiled as he smoothed the plaster on the drywall easily without a spill.