I knock on the door to dad’s office with a fucking weight in my stomach. It’s been three days since the limo. Since I was balls deep into Jocelyn. Just thoughts of my hands holding her supple, curvy, lithe body inspire my cock into a frenzy of twitches. Fuck. I can’t be thinking like this because while my cock doesn't seem to care, I’m dying of fucking guilt here.

That’s right. I’m feeling guilty. I hope that doesn’t surprise you.

I’ve never in my life done anything like this. This goes way beyond just fucking a married woman. First, she’s older than me. I’m 15 years younger than her. I would have never considered anything like this before coming back to the city. Second, she’s married to my dad. That makes her technically my stepmom.

Now hold on there. I know based on everything you’ve seen so far, you’re going to tell me to calm the fuck down. That 15 years is nothing. You probably know a couple where the woman is 15 years older than the man and they have a happy marriage. And then you’re going to move on to tell me that Michael Anders married my mother after I was already born. That when she died a year later, he assumed the role of guardian, but he’s not technically my biological father.

Fine. From a technical standpoint, no one is related, okay. You fucking got me.

But we’re not talking about technicalities here.

This is the man who fucking paid others to raise me. The man I resented my whole life for always being busy and never having time for me. The man who was always wrapped up in his life and viewed me as an accessory to trot out to make him look good by talking about how he was raising the son of his dead wife.

In short, he’s the only father I’ve ever fucking known.

And so what do I do? I fuck the one woman who maybe he thought he would find happiness with? Really? Is that what I’ve come down to?

Have I fucked so many women in my life that now I need to do things that shock the senses? Has normal fucking just gotten too boring for me?

“You going to stand there or are you going to come in, Lance?” dad asks from his desk. He's staring at me, an annoyed look on his face. He’s got two tablets and a computer open in front of him and it’s obvious he’s busy. The television is on in the far corner of the room and he puts it on mute.

I step into the office and walk to the desk. What am I even going to say here? Hey dad, how’s the mayoral race coming? By the way, I’m fucking Jocelyn. Just thinking you should know because it's the right thing to do.

How do you even go about telling another man you’re sleeping with his wife?

“What do you need?” dad asks, cutting through all the clutter in my head and going straight to the point. “I’m busy so I can’t give you that much time. So be quick.”

I sigh. He looks at me with sharp eyes.

“I wanted to talk to you about Jocelyn,” I say after a moment.

He looks at me and sighs as well. Does he know?

Dad leans back in his chair. “Sorry I didn't invite you to the wedding, Lance,” he says and takes off his glasses. “But there really was no wedding.”

“Yeah, but you know, there wasn’t even any advance notice,” I reply back to him.

Dad looks at me for a moment. “Lance, you’ve been here for quite a few days now and you’re just coming to me with this question?” he asks. “What’s prompting you to ask now? If you were really this upset about not knowing, this would have been the first thing you asked me.”

What the fuck? Leave it to this guy to search for the ulterior motive.

Although, to be honest, don’t I have the ulterior motive here? I mean, I’m making this conversation because I feel guilty about Jocelyn. He’s right to an extent.

“I’m just asking you because it seemed like a good way to get into the conversation,” I tell him, trying to appear nonchalant. “It’s not like we’ve gotten much time to talk since I got back.”

He appears to consider this.

“But I mean, that’s the usual, though, isn’t it?” I ask, adding that one last bit in.

It seems to convince him that I’m legitimate. He sits back upright and places his elbows on the desk.

“I knew her father. You were away at school and you’re old enough now that you’re not really much of an asset to someone who’s looking to portray being a family man. Plus, your…antics aren’t really going to endear any of the demographics I need help with. And the only grandkids I’d have would all be illegitimate. So I needed a wife.”

I’m silent, processing everything he’s just said. It sounds so cold. So fucking calculating.

“So just like that, you what? Introduced yourself and got her to say yes?” I ask him.

Dad sighs again, as if stalling for time.

“Let’s just say,” he says and pauses, considering his words. “Let’s just say it was in the best interests of Governor Carter to give me Jocelyn’s hand in marriage.”

Whoa. What the fuck is dad just telling me right here. Best interests?

“Wait one second,” I say, forgetting the guilt for a moment. “Best interests of the Governor? Are you telling me this is some sort of payment?”

“I’m telling you that this is none of your business, Lance,” dad says, a hard edge of steel hiding behind his voice. “And it’s in your best interests to drop this.”

“I’m not fucking dropping something when you basically tell me that you may have coerced someone to spend their fucking life with you, dad!” I say heatedly. “Especially when there’s unanswered questions about…”

But I can’t finish because dad whips his head in my direction.

“Unanswered questions?” he snaps at me. “Unanswered questions about things we shouldn’t be talking about?”

I’m quiet as I watch him bring himself under control. Then, with an almost deathly chill in his voice, he says to me. “Be careful how far beneath the surface you want to dig, son. I’m used to this world. I have no problem burying anyone. Especially someone who’s past his useful life as my son.”

Was that a fucking threat? Are we fucking going to war?

“Work on the campaign and help the family and I promise you, you’ll be rewarded,” he continues. “But start bringing up the past or stick your nose where it doesn’t belong, and don't be surprised if you start getting burned.”

This man did not sit here in his ornate fucking office and threaten me. I’m the closest thing to a son that he’s fucking got. This would just be a dark wood-paneled room with an old man if all the shit that I’ve suspected comes out. The late night visits with Kenneth. Seeing the two of them kissing on the balcony.

No, I can’t let this man bully me here and now and not respond back to him.

“If you want to sit there and threaten me, Dad,” I say to him as I stand up. “Then I’m ready to take this to the next level. But I’m not leaving till I get some answers as to why Jocelyn felt forced to marry you.”

“Oh, give it a rest, okay? Your dad seduced the Governor, kept the evidence, and then when he was ready, went to Governor Carter and has been holding it over his head since then,” a voice says behind me. I turn around and see Kenneth Loomis standing there with a grin on his face. “Don’t tell me you never suspected, Lance?” he asks me as he steps closer.

I turn my head to look at dad. At first there’s a momentary flash of annoyance and concern on his face. Then that changes to annoyance.

But apparently my own father thinks I’m not worth the fucking effort required to lie.

“You…you fucked the Governor to marry his daughter?” I ask, turning around to face dad. What kind of fucking man is my father? For maybe the millionth time, I’m so fucking relieved that I’m not related to him by blood. That I’m really just his stepson.

Dad, yeah I know, but I’m used to calling him that by now—he just shrugs. “I didn’t do anything to marry Jocelyn, son,” he says to me, raising his head to look at me.

“That’s right,” Kenneth says coming over to stand by dad’s side. “That woman was just a fringe benefit. An afterthought to the real goodies that the Governor helped him get.”

I’m still trying to fucking comprehend. Dad, blackmailing the Governor. Getting God knows what from him. Favors? Power? But Jocelyn Carter, probably the single most beautiful woman I’ve ever fucking met ending up as just a fucking afterthought.

Holy fucking Christ.

My world is in a state of complete numbness. Shock.

Just fucking kill me now. A forced marriage that was just icing on a much larger cake.

This is too fucking much. I can’t believe the callousness. The fucking waste. I get up from my chair.

“Close the door on your way out, will you please?” Kenneth says to me as I stalk to the door. I turn around to look at him. His hands are on my dad’s shoulders, a lascivious smile playing on his lips as he brings out his tongue to lick them. “We’re going to be a little…busy…in here.”

I don’t have the fucking strength to argue.

I do as Kenneth asks, close the door, and go toward the front door.

I need fresh air.

I need to find Jocelyn.