J ames

My first instinct is to pour myself a drink. Never did finish clearing out my liquor cabinet: It’d be the work of a moment to grab a bottle ....

I don’t have it in me. Even getting drunk seems too much like work. Besides, Diana will be back...Won’t she? We didn’t resolve anything, and her clothes—she’ll have to come back for her clothes .

Or not. I remember swinging by her place in Fenwick once, to pick up her favorite chair. She had half a closet of old shirts and dresses. “House clothes,” she called them. The sort of thing you might well wear to sit at home, licking your wounds .

And she actually took the dog. Never thought she’d take Percy .

I let my head droop. I’m starting to see spots. Haven’t had a headache this bad in a while. I can actually hear my head pounding, great noisy clangs, like a doorknocker. No—that is someone knocking .

She must’ve forgotten her keys, running out the way she did .

“It’s open!” I think about sitting up, putting on a brave face, but I feel like I might not survive moving my head .

“Jim?”

Tom. Fuck. What’s he doing here? It was his advice, his stupid advice, that —

“Hey! You all right ?”

I stifle a groan. Maybe if I don’t answer, he’ll go away .

The couch dips under his weight. Jostling my head—he’s... Ugh. Gonna make me puke. Or have a stroke. “Whaddaya want ?”

“You left in kind of a hurry. Wanted to make sure you were all right.” He squeezes my shoulder. “Sit tight. Let me grab you a couple of aspirin .”

“Mmph.” I burrow my face into the cushions. The pressure on my forehead helps a little. And aspirin could be good. But Diana will be back any minute. I know her. Her temper’s like a sparkler: spitting hot, and then it’s done. Tom can’t be here when those sparks die out. Can’t have him screwing up my last chance to make this right. I force myself to sit upright .

“Here.” He thrusts a glass of water into my hand, followed by a couple of pills. “These aren’t the coated kind. Swallow ‘em quick, if you don’t want a bitter tongue .”

I toss them back with a grunt. Fucking gross. And now they’re stuck in my throat .

“So... She’s gone ?”

I go to nod, but it hurts too much. I settle for a pained shrug .

“She say where she was headed ?”

“Home, I suppose.” I don’t want to talk about this. “Think I really hurt her.” And I’m not so sure it was worth it. In fact—“Won’t it look even worse, kicking out my pregnant wife, when I ought to be standing by her ?”

“Definitely.”

My stomach churns, and I swallow hard. “Wait—what did you say ?”

Tom taps my glass. “I said ‘drink up.’ You need to stay hydrated .”

Oh. That makes sense. I drain my water. It’s cold enough to send an icepick into my brain, and I curl in on myself. Hurts...hurts all over. My glass slips through my fingers and rolls off the couch. I grit my teeth, waiting for the sharp sound of it shattering on the floor, but it never comes .

“Think I fucked up. Again.” I’ll throw myself at her feet. Tell her it was a mistake. Soon as she gets back ....

Tom’s voice sounds oddly distant. “Don’t worry about it. This truly will work out for the best .”

The hell it will. My mouth feels weird, wet and tingly, like I’m going to be sick. I close my eyes and wait for him to stop talking .

“Going to be able to buy you out for a song, once you crash and burn .”

Wait... Did he say...? I blink. My eyes feel funny, too. Heavy, and sort of scratchy. “Sounded like you just said....” Oh. Oh. He’s joking. I fake a polite laugh. “Crash and burn, right .”

“Should’ve listened to me in the first place. Had a nice little fling with an appropriate girl, put the shine back on your reputation, and we’d be quietly showing you the door right about now. Just in time for Dr. Wells to finish what you started.” He’s got one hand on my chest, the other on the back of my neck, and he’s...helping me lie down. Suppose I could use a rest. The room’s really spinning, now. Diana—she’ll fix this. Nice massage...good night’s sleep ....

I can’t feel my hands .

I actually...can’t feel ....

This isn’t right .

“Pa....” My tongue’s swelling up. Filling my whole mouth. Feels like...cotton. “Paramedics—you need to call— I’m — “

Tom smiles. “You’re all right .”

“No—I ....”

He smooths my hair back from my forehead. “Ssh. It’s all right. You’re good. You’ve really made this easy on us .”

I’m not following. Made what easy on... Huh ?

“Gonna buy you out for pennies on the dollar, make out like bandits when your work pays off. Shame no one knows you were almost there .”

Almost.... I squint at him, trying to make sense of his words. “You ....”

He’s going to...kill me? No—that doesn’t make sense. Going to tank Dovecote, make it look like I...like I flamed out before I could accomplish much of anything? And then ....

“That’s right. Relax .”

Drowning—I’m drowning. Black water rushes in—Granddaddy’s pond, that time I fell through the ice... Guess I never climbed out. Must’ve dreamed it, dreamed a whole life .

“Look on the bright side: you might get to share that Nobel Prize. Your name’s still on everything short of the real breakthrough .”

Can’t see the light, and I’m panicking, swimming for the surface. Tom’s peering down at me from a great distance, features rippling, indistinct. “Please—I....” I reach for his hand. Don’t let me die !

“Ssh. Slow, deep breaths. Going to take a little trip, and next thing you know, it’ll all be over .”

All...over? But wasn’t I just— “Where are we going ?”

“Don’t you worry about that .”

I blink hard. This is death. I’m dying. Choking—that’s right. He...someone was...drowning me? But I feel fine. “Don’t worry ?”

“That’s right. Give in to it .”

I let the water into my lungs, but it’s not real; there’s nothing there. Never was. I manage a dusty cough. If I could get up ....

“You can let go now.” Tom’s stroking my hair—sick, sick; he doesn’t care; he’s killing me... Isn’t he? We were fighting, or... I can’t remember. If I could just get outside ....

Outside... What was I going to do? Might be peach pickers in the orchard. I could scream. Someone would hear me .

“Better?”

I sit up. Outside. Outside. We were going for a walk. Me and —

“Diana...?”

“That’s right. You’ll see her soon. No reason you can’t be together now.” Tom’s smile wavers and ripples. “See? All working out for the best .”

Right...for the best .

“Ready to go ?”

Go... Yeah. With Diana. Pick some peaches .

She takes me by the hand, and I can’t remember what I was so upset about. This was what I wanted, right ?

“That’s okay—you don’t need your shoes .”

‘Course I don’t. Just gonna walk in the orchard. Feel the grass between my toes. Peach juice on my chin. Sun’s so warm, this time of year. Like back home. “Can we go fishing after ?”

“Sure. Get you a twelve-foot marlin .”

I step into the light without a care in the world .