Lucy

Lady Radnor stormed through the doorway of the morning room and pinned her daughter with a stare. “Lucy, I need you upstairs.” Then her mother turned on her heel, expecting her to follow.

Lucy set aside the embroidery she was working on. “I suppose it’s time to prepare for my wedding. Mother says it’s supposed to take place later today, and that I’ll have to be ready.” Lucy thought her friends’ expressions looked as she would have guessed they might. May looked happy for her, and Cora looked worried. “I always dreamed of my wedding. I thought it would be an event that we planned for weeks and invited our friends to celebrate with us. If that isn’t to be the case then I’m glad my two best friends will be here with me.”

Cora stood and hugged Lucy. “It will turn out all right,” she whispered. “I’ll make sure of that.”

When Lucy hugged May, she said, “Perhaps you should get ready as well. Then we could have a double wedding.”

“That would be a delight,” May replied, even as Cora’s face increased with concern. “What a happy turn of events. Cora’s little house party has become the most memorable event in our lives. I’m going upstairs to get ready too.”

May and Lucy walked to their rooms, leaving Cora in the morning room.

Lucy sat beside her mother on the little couch in her bedroom. Her mother held out a sapphire necklace. “I wore this on my wedding day, and you’ll wear it on yours.” Her mother dabbed her eyes with a hanky. “You have surpassed my hopes for you. Your father and I had hoped that by postponing a marriage to that other man, that you’d choose someone more suitable.”

Her brain had been feeling foggy all morning. Now and again she had glimpses of being held in a man’s arms and even his lips pressed to hers. “What other man?” Lucy asked. Although she concentrated, she was never able to discern his face. Saalfeld’s hair was dark while the man of her dream was light-haired. Perhaps her mother knew who he was.

“Exactly. There is no other man in your life now, only Lord Saalfeld. When your father returns with a willing rector or vicar or priest, we’ll have the wedding immediately. We don’t want this groom to get away.” Lucy’s mother’s words were teasing, but Lucy sensed a little desperation in the tone.

“I thought I would be married in my own church or at least my husband’s. Can’t we drive home for the wedding?” Lucy asked. Again she was confused at why she didn’t know where Saalfeld’s home was.

“No,” her mother snapped, her eyes flaming with anger. She blew out a breath, schooled her facial expression, and added, “Your father is quite determined to see this through immediately.” She stood and walked to the wardrobe and returned with a satchel. “You’ll need to pack a few things to get you by. As soon as you’re married, you’ll leave with your husband. He’ll buy you what you need, or we’ll send the rest of your things along later.”

Lucy vaguely remembered shopping for her wedding dress and trousseau. They had spent a few days in London. Why would she do that if she weren’t engaged? She searched her memories. It was like walking through a pool of treacle. She had an impression of standing in a gazebo and a light-haired man kneeling before her. Then it was gone.

“Lord Saalfeld hasn’t asked me to marry him,” she whispered to herself.

“Hush! We’ll take care of that too. After the scene you caused last night, a very public scene, you should want to redeem your reputation quickly as well.” Lady Radnor’s voice rose with each word.

Lucy had never seen her mother so passionate. She could only remember disappointment from either of her parents. She questioned the sincerity of their approval. She was also suspicious of her mother brushing off her question about another man. Her stomach and chest felt tight with nerves. When someone knocked on the door, Lucy jumped from the couch to answer.

“A lady walks,” her mother yelled behind her.

Lucy threw the door open, glad to see her friend Cora on the other side. “Please, do come in.”

Cora looked into Lucy’s eyes as if she were searching for something. Then she noticed Lucy’s mother in the room. “Hello, Lady Radnor.”  

“I can’t thank you enough for the lovely visit we’ve had in your home. It has quite set our world to rights,” Lady Radnor said. She turned back to Lucy. “Pack now. We don’t know when your father will be back, and you must be ready.” Lucy’s mother pushed past Cora, nodding to the duchess as she left.

“Are you leaving so soon?” Cora asked.

“I don’t know when I’m leaving. I’m to be married when Father returns.” Lucy saw the look of concern that Cora had worn all morning, and quickly added, “He’s bringing a vicar with him. It seems so strange to marry someone I hardly know. I suppose that’s no different than when my parents married. Mother had only met Father twice, and it had been arranged by her father.”

“Will you agree to the marriage?” Cara asked.

It made Lucy anxious to think about the wedding. She had to have something to do and decided to pack. Lucy opened the traveling case. She thought about the question for some time, still trying but unable to discern the man’s face from her dream. She opened the drawer for socks and pulled out four pair—two woolen and two silk.

Lucy rolled a pair of hosiery as she walked back toward the bed. “I suppose I’ll agree. It’s Lord Saalfeld, after all.” After rolling each, she pushed them into a corner of the case, then walked back to the chest of drawers. “He’s such a wonderful man. He has kind eyes.” Her voice faded, but she tried to add more. “And he dances well.” Her brain tangled with confusion. “I’m sure he has other fine qualities. I’m just too flustered to remember.”

“Has he asked you? I mean, has he proposed?” Cora removed the stockings and set them on the bed.

Lucy pulled open the next drawer in the chest and rifled through the gloves, holding two pair up, then choosing the white ones. They would go with most things she would want to wear. “Not that I recall. But I had a dream, at least I think it was a dream, where I was receiving a proposal.” She lay them in the luggage and put the socks back inside.

“Tell me about your dream,” Cora said. Her voice rang with excitement.

“It hardly matters at this point.” Lucy entered the closet and chose some slippers and some half-boots and returned to the bed, setting the boots on the floor.

“I’d like to hear about it just the same.” Cora removed the gloves and socks from the case and closed the top.

That was the tone of voice Lucy wished her mother had moments ago. “I don’t remember much.” Lucy sat beside Cora and placed the slippers on her lap. “I was standing in a gazebo, and there was a man with light hair in front of me. He seemed to be proposing.”

“Light hair?” asked Cora. “Would you say it’s the color of Everett’s or lighter or darker than his?”

Lucy thought about it for a moment. She didn’t exactly know why, but thinking about Everett brought a smile to her lips. “I suppose it was exactly Everett’s color. Not many people have white hair that isn’t gray. That’s all I remember.” She tied and untied the lace on the tops of the shoes several times. “Oh, one more thing. The gazebo was just like the one in your garden.”

“Do you remember the season?”

The view of Lucy’s memory widened. She felt like ants were crawling through her mind, dragging up bits and pieces and laying them near her. There wasn’t the crispness of autumn that they had now. It was very warm. Lucy looked at the tiny flowers printed on the gingham dress she was wearing. “Summer,” she said. “I’m sure it was summer. The roses were still in bloom, and the trees and the grass were green.”

She was recalling more. Hope pulsed through her. Perhaps she would learn the man’s identity. She stood and walked to the wardrobe again. This time, she pulled two dresses from the shelf.

Cora stood and took the dresses from Lucy’s hands. “Let’s try something. Perhaps if you relax, you’ll remember more. Lie down on the bed.” She put the dresses back in the wardrobe then sat beside Lucy’s feet.

“You don’t think it was a dream?”

Cora shook her head and gave Lucy a sad smile.

“I’ll try anything to learn the truth.” Lucy sank into the soft mattress and closed her eyes.

“This past summer, you were at Nellie’s house. That’s where we met. Do you remember how?” Cora asked.

“I went to the music room.” Lucy paused. “I went there to meet—meet—someone—and then you were there.” She knew she was missing something important, but her mind tried to skip right over it. The music room had been dark, except for the single candlestick she’d taken with her. The shadowy outline of a man’s face, close enough to kiss, tickled her memory. She felt the excitement of that moment again sparkling in her stomach. And piano music. “You played the piano.”

“Then your father came and took you back to the dance.” The mattress depressed near her hip. Cora must have scooted closer to her. “Why did he take you back?”

“He thought I’d met a man there. I had, but you hid him and pretended we were alone.”

“Was the man the same one in your dream?”

Lucy compared the slant of his jaw, the man’s height, the way the candlelight played along his white hair. “Yes,” Lucy gasped and sat up. She felt like she’d lost three months of her life that were suddenly hers again. Everett had courted her for two seasons, and at the end of the past one, they went to several house parties—the Cottrells’, Everett’s, and finally came to Simon’s home at the beginning of September for a hunting party.

They hadn’t been at the duke’s home long when her father allowed her to walk out with Everett, and her mother didn’t follow them. Lucy had known then that her life would change forever that day. Tears streamed from her eyes at the memory. He’d covered her hand at his elbow with his. The blue of his eyes was darker as he gazed at her lovingly. They’d walked to the formal garden together, and Everett had opened his heart to her.

“I’ve waited for this day for a long time. I can’t contain the happiness it brings me to just have you at my side. Being alone with you fills my world.” He’d moved her hand to his left and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close as if they’d promenade, and she’d reveled in the close contact. “I love your sense of humor, and your soft giggle. I want to wake every morning to your smile.”

The words, burned in her memory, again fanned the fire of her heart. Her voice was thick with emotion while she told Cora of their engagement. “We’d walked away from the driveway to a gazebo.” Lucy’s heart inflated in her chest, attempting to contain the happiness. It wasn’t possible; she gasped and held back a sob. She’d been dangerously close to losing this precious moment in her memory.

They stood in the center of the gazebo and Everett sank to his knee before her. His eyes looked up toward her with such love that she could barely breathe. “I love you, Lucy.” The words speared her heart then and again in this moment. “Please accept me as your protector, your confidant, your lover, and your husband.” He’d kissed her hand and held it to his face. “Lucy, will you marry me?”

She nodded and whispered through her tears, “Yes. I’ll love you will all my heart and for all my days.”

Lucy reached out for Cora’s hand. Guilt swamped her. How could she have been so fickle toward him? “I almost forgot him, Cora. How could I?” Regret and shame blanketed her.

Words filled her mouth and sought release but dissolved when she opened her lips. She struggled for each one. I want to mmmm. It was difficult to even think the words and couldn’t say them yet. I want to marry Evvv. An unknown force pushed them behind her teeth and tried to cover them with darkness. Her knew her mind would quiet if she surrendered and said Lord Saalfeld’s name, but she would not. It was a lie.

She was determined to speak only the truth from her heart. The strain of trying to force out her desire and hold back the false wearied her. Foggy forgetfulness hovered at the edges, trying to steal her happiness and memories again.

She found that she’d jumped off the bed. She stared at herself in the looking glass. Strength swept thought her, and she shouted, “Everett proposed. I love him, and I’ll marry only him.”

Tears washed down Lucy’s cheeks when she looked toward Cora. “It wasn’t a dream at all. He really proposed, and I accepted.”

“How do you feel about that now?” Cora asked.

“Like happiness is exploding through me. I remember it all. I’ve cheated on the only man I love, and I’m not worthy to be his wife.” After her acceptance they’d stood in each other’s arms, their lips hungry for the touch of the other. “Oh, what have I been doing? And with Henry? How could I betray Everett so? How could he ever trust me again?”

Her eyes welled with fresh tears and her breath hiccupped. She earned this unhappiness. Her heart broke, and she was glad for it. The pain was the torture she deserved. For the rest of her life she would remember the choices she’d made that ruined her. She would never marry.

Lucy hid her face behind her hands, bawling for several moments, then suddenly jumped up, her eyes snapping wide open and her hands fisting at her waist. “How could he? Everett and May were every bit as shameful as Lord Saalfeld and I have been. What was Everett doing speaking words of love to May?” Lucy threw her arms around Cora’s neck. “What am I going to do? We’ve all been such ninnies.”

Although rage coursed through Lucy, her emotions deflated as she remembered that Everett had waited for her for months, and her father had stood in their way. Everett had been a patient man. Truth be told, she loved him with all her heart.

“Everett isn’t himself and neither is Saalfeld. And May is still as confused as I was minutes ago. May has loved Saalfeld all of her life, and she’s suddenly forgotten him.”

Lucy pulled a pillow in front of her and hugged it close to her body. “My heart wants to make this right, but my head tells me there’s no way to fix this.” Lucy’s whole body felt the misery of the last two days. “How could we all be insane at the same moment?” She looked toward Cora, hoping for any shred of logic or explanation.

“There’s always a way to fix it.” Cora touched lightly atop Lucy’s clenched hands and her eyes gazed down at her with kindness. “I know you to be a kind and true person. I can say the same of May, Everett, and Henry.”

Her dear friend’s words spoke hope to Lucy’s heart. She wanted to believe it.

“We’ll get this all figured out soon,” Cora said as she hugged Lucy. “It must seem hopeless at the moment.” Cora’s eyes looked at her with kindness. “But this will all work out.”

Cora led her back to the edge of the bed, and they sat down together. “I have something to tell you that just two days ago you would have not believed. And even the other three would not believe it now under the influence as they are.”

Lucy watched as Cora’s eyes darted back-and-forth, the muscles between her eyebrows furrowed, then she nodded once and said, “You were under a spell.”

“A spell?” Lucy repeated, flatly. “There’s no such thing as magic.” At least she didn’t think so. There must be another explanation. “Once when I was little, I had a high fever and imagined the flowers outside my window where monsters that began eating each other. Have I been ill?” Lucy asked.

Cora shook her head, and stared directly into Lucy’s eyes. “You haven’t been sick and neither have the others.”

Lucy stood and began pacing. Her mind reeled with the possibility.  Lucy shook her head. “No, that isn’t possible. We live in modern times full of fantastic inventions. I won’t be thrown back into fairytales.” Cora opened her mouth and held her finger up, but Lucy continued. “Our nation has spread to every known continent, and men cross the ocean at will. I doubt there’s anything that is not possible to us if we should put our minds to it.” Lucy stopped before Cora.

“I can’t prove it to you,” Cora said, “but I can get you a witness for you to talk to. Are you willing to listen?”

Lucy was firm in her belief that an illness or an invention may have caused her experience. And there was much talk in London from this or that spiritualist. That was still the natural world, was it not? Perhaps spiritualism could explain the dilemma. “I would welcome talking to someone else about this. There has to be a logical answer.”

Cora led Lucy down the hallway towards the other end of the guestrooms. They had gone about halfway when Aunt Nellie met them, carry a half-eaten pie.

“I found a jar of strawberry and rhubarb preserve in your pantry,” Nellie said to Cora. “And Cook made a pie from it for me. I think he’s sweet on me.” Nellie smacked her lips and gazed toward heaven. “Ambrosia. It really is that good. Would you like a slice, Lucy? Well, I haven’t a knife or even plates, but you only need a fork.” She pulled one out of the air and handed it to her.

Lucy’s eyes popped wide with attention. Was that magic? She wasn’t sure she could take the chitchat. Her heart raced with wanting answers. Although she didn’t believe in magic, she hoped that was exactly what was happening, and that Aunt Nellie could set it to rights. Lucy stepped forward and put her hand on Nellie’s arm. She felt hot tears behind her eyes and had to exert to push out the words. “I feel as if my heart will break. Please tell me what happened, and what I can do.”

Nellie pulled Lucy close, hugging her as she cried.

“You poor dear. It is a terrible mess. But don’t worry. We’ll get through this, and the magic will wear off, and it will all be fine.” Nellie stepped backward and looked into Lucy’s face. “I did this for you, really. But it doesn’t appear that way, I’m sure. It got all messed up beneath the mistletoe. I thought a dab of magic would open May to the truth in her heart. I’d hoped a public display between you and Everett would propel your parents to finally bring you and Everett to the marriage altar. The plan was to spread love and happiness all around.”

Tears leaked out of Lucy’s eyes.

Aunt Nellie offered her a hankie. “I fear the opposite has happened.”

Lucy couldn’t speak but nodded.

“A bit of time will set all of this to rights. And hopefully the others will forget. I should go and make another spot of tea.”

Aunt Nellie left, and Lucy said, “I believe you, Cora. If I could snap out of that magic, the others can too.”