Chapter Three

Veronica

MY FINGERS TAPPED AGAINST the soft gray joggers I’d borrowed from Jo as I looked at the doorknob in front of me. Stop being a baby and go in! a very confident voice inside my head urged. I stood there looking at it like it was going to burn me.

What if I went in there and Rolly said the very words I was dreading? What if he doesn’t? a small voice hushed.

“Stop being an idiot,” I whispered as I put the key in and turned it, opening the door, and my eyes went wide.

The living room looked like a real-life winter wonderland. A variety of trees, trimmed and decked out, stood all over the place. Judging by the smell in the air, some of them were real trees. Fluffy, fake snow pads graced the countertops, little houses and trinkets floated atop, and when I walked in, closing the door behind me, I noticed fluffy white bits covered the hardwood floors.

Fake snow.

Everywhere.

The dark hardwood was hardly visible because the fake snowy bits covered it so heavily.

“Oh my god!” I quietly said, covering my mouth with my hands. The living room looked like something from a dream it was so beautiful.

“You like it?” Rolly’s deep voice said, making me jump out of my skin as I turned to see him standing in the doorway.

My hands shook as I took in the sight of him, and damn, what a sight it was. Rolly was always handsome, and today, almost a full twenty-four hours after I’d walked away from him, as his olive-green tee stretched at his shoulders and chest and dark denim jeans covered his long legs he was even more so.

“Rolly…” I was confused. I didn’t know what to say because I had no fucking clue what was going on. He would hate this. He hated over-the-top kitschy decorations. He hated anything on the hardwood floors. Rolly was all about being tidy. He was anal about it. “You hate messes.”

“Do you like it?” he asked again, taking a couple of steps closer to me.

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s a simple question. Do you like it?” he said, now finally right in front of me. The cedar scent of his aftershave tickled my nose.

“It’s beautiful. It’s like something out of a movie,” I quietly admired, daring to take my eyes off him for a moment as I looked around. “But how or why? I mean, you hate messy and holiday—”

“I love you.” He placed a finger over my lips, and my eyes stung. “I love you. I know I said a bunch of shit when we first met I wish I could take back.”

“Rolly.” My lips trembled. He loves me.

“Please, let me say this,” he asked, and I nodded, biting my lower lip as I looked up at him.

His brow was heavy and lined like it was when he was trying to figure out just the right thing to say, so I stayed quiet.

“I told you I didn’t believe in love and marriage and label, but that was because I didn’t know you existed. It was what I knew and believed in up until I met you,” he shared. My knees felt a little weak.

“And now?” I dared asking. My heart felt like it was about to explode.

“Now I want it all. With you. Only you.”

“But you’ve been so distant and cold and—”

“Stuck in my head,” he answered for me before he shook his head. Rolly wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me in closer. I looked up at him. “I was stuck in my head figuring out a way to tell you I love you. I didn’t want to mess up and just say it out of nowhere. I wanted it to be special because you deserve special.”

“Special,” I repeated as a tear escaped. Before it could slide down my face, he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. “But what about the sex?” I blurted out.

“What?” He stilled, and worry hit my gut.

“You’ve been different. Softer. Sweeter.”

“And this is bad?”

“It’s always good, but it just felt like you’ve been… I don’t know…”

“What?”

“Holding back. Like I didn’t do it for you,” I said honestly and watched his inquisitive face melt into laughter.

“That you…” His deep bark of laughter kept on going, and I was tempted to roll my eyes. “You didn’t do it for me?” he asked before his hands slid up my body and a warm shiver ran down my spine. This was the Rolly I knew. The one who touched my body with fierce purpose and intense need. “Do you have any idea what you do to me, Veronica?” His voice dropped an octave, and I licked my lips, trying to focus and not give in to the moment. I needed to be clear about what had happened.

“Obviously not,” I muttered even though the room was suddenly warmer. “I thought you met someone else and were trying to figure out a way to kick me out.”

“Kick you out.” The amusement washed away as his face turned to stone. “Baby, there could never be anyone else but you for me. Ever.” I let out the breath I had been holding as a weight shifted off my shoulders.

“I’m sorry about yesterday.” I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“I’m sorry for being a jackass who doesn’t know how to say how he feels,” he said, pulling me into his chest. I took a deep breath, inhaling of his scent. My lungs filled with cedar and home. He was my home. “You coming into my life threw me for a loop,” he said, and when I tried to look up at him, he held on to me tighter.

“Rolly—”

“A good one. A really fucking good loop, babe. You made me see exactly what I was missing. How fucking wrong I was to think the shit I did. That shit I had with Minnie, that wasn’t love. That was wrong on so many different aspects. What I found with you was so damn eye opening, and fuck,” he groaned. “What can I say? I’ve never been good with change. I’m sorry it took me so long to get everything I needed to say to you.” His embrace lightened, and I looked up at him.

“You really mean that?” There was no way I could stop or control the tears at this point.

“With my entire being, Veronica. I promise I will work tooth and nail to make being such a stupid asshole these last couple of weeks up to you.”

“And you still want me?”

“Only you,” he responded deeply, then his head lowered and our lips met. The kiss was sweet and short before he pulled away. Rolly tilted his head, silently requesting for me to follow him. His hand in mine, our fingers intertwined, we went to the bright jewel-colored decorated Christmas tree.

“What do you think?” he asked. I stared at it. It was bright with happy colors. From top to bottom, it was filled with ornaments that glittered and shined.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It’s you.”

“What?” I turned my attention away from the tree and all the happy ornaments only to see Rolly’s hand held out for mine

“This one I did thinking of you. Everything about it represents you.”

“Rolly, that is seriously sweet.” I sighed, seeing him in a new light. As I glanced over my shoulder toward the tree, my nose stung. “Is this really how you see me?” I asked in awe.

“If I could fit another ten strands of lights, I would have.” he shared, and I had to take a sharp breath because he was killing me. I was bright and shiny and happy in his eyes.

“I—” The words died as I looked at him now kneeling in front of me. My heart froze mid-beat.

“The tree behind me was me before you,” he said, and I peeked over at the tall, thin tree that had one sad stand of lights. “I was empty. Just living to live, Ronnie. No purpose or direction. Not any that really mattered, at least.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is. I’m man enough to say it. Sure, I had a great business and friends, but what you bring to the table… Veronica, you brought life to me,” he said, kissing the top of my hand. My breath stuttered with the tears that fell.

“I don’t think I can handle this much sweetness, baby.”

“Marry me.”

“What?” Sure, he was on his knee, obviously making a grand gesture, but I honestly didn’t expect him to ask that. Not that the tone he said it in sounded like a question; it was more of an order.

“Marry me,” he repeated. I tried to read him. Is he being serious right now?

“Are you playing right now?”

“Marry me.” He shifted to get something from his pocket and took it out. I was surprised my eyes didn’t pop out of their sockets. In his hand he held a rose gold ring with a cushion cut pink diamond set in the center.

“It’s pink.”

“It’s you,” he responded confidently, and I pressed my lips together, muffling a cry and laugh at the same time. “Those tears kill me.”

“I can’t help it. I’m just so happy,” I mumbled.

“You’re killing me, Ronnie. Tell me you’ll take me as your forever.”

“You really want to do this? You said you didn’t believe in this, and I can be okay with Kurt and Goldie-ing it,” I reassured him.

“I was a dumbass. I want everything with you. You’re my light, baby. You add color to my life. Of course, I want to be tied to you, and you to me.”

“Yes,” I whispered. The look of incredulous joy that fell over his face made my smile so big my face hurt. Almost.

“Say it again,” he grunted halfway up from kneeling.

“Yes!” I laughed, my face and hair a mess. “Yes!” He took me in his arms and spun me around as I laughed and held on tight.

“You just made me the happiest man in the world, baby,” he growled into my ear.

“No more holding back anymore, Rolly,” I whispered back. His face pulled back slightly so he could see me. The lust and need reflected in his stare made me ache.

His lips crashed to mine, and before I knew it, my legs were wrapped around his waist and we were headed to our bedroom.

“I need to see you with nothing but my ring on your finger.”

“I think we can make that happen,“ I playfully answered. His firm grip pulled and tugged on the material of the clothes I was wearing. Taking each and every piece until I was standing in front of him exactly like he wanted me.

Naked.

Only wearing his ring.

My breathing was heavy, like I’d been running. My chest heaving, rising and falling. His gaze burning over my skin until I looked past him at the room, and I gasped, placing a hand over Rolly’s warm and solid chest.

In the lusty haze I hadn’t noticed the room, but I was seeing it now. The winter wonderland hadn’t been exclusive to the living room.

“You decorated,” I whispered. His hand covered mine over his chest as I took everything in.

Warm twinkle lights hung all around us, casting an almost ethereal light over our bedroom. Red roses were everywhere. Different vases held bouquets all over the dresser and nightstands. The bedding was white with red rose petals all over it. I looked away to see him.

“You did all this?” I asked in wonder.

“I had a little help.” He shrugged like what he had done wasn’t a big deal. I couldn’t help myself anymore.

I jumped into his arms, my hands cupping his gorgeous face.

“I love you so much, Rolly Baxter,” I announced a second before our lips met. His hands firmly gripped my bare ass. The kiss was deep and hungry. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” I complained against his lips.

“Shh…” he hushed against my mouth before pulling my lower lip into his mouth, sucking roughly. A tingle of pleasure and pain shot down to my toes.

“You’re all mine now,” he hoarsely announced, moving his kiss away from my lips, down my chin, and into my neck.

I tilted to give him space, gasping and closing my eyes as he sucked just right on the spot that drove me crazy. He didn’t stop, and I knew I would be sporting a Rizzo-sized hickey in the morning, but I didn’t care. I would sport it with a proud smile on my face like I would the ring I was wearing.

“Did you really propose?” I moaned as his teeth grazed my pulse point and his hands firmly gripped my ass. I was faintly aware of him moving us as I held on but too involved in everything he was making me feel.

“You said yes. No take backs,” he groaned as I rolled my hips, my needy center right over the hard bulge behind his jeans.

“I’d never want to take it back,” I said, arching my back. I wasn’t stupid. I knew life would have its good and bad, but there was honestly no one I’d rather share those moments with than the man in front of me.

One moment, I was in his arms, and the next he was carefully placing me on our bed. Our bed with soft-as-hell brand-new bedding.

“Where did you get this?”

“You like it?” The tone in his got voice deeper with every syllable he muttered.

“Feels like a cloud.” I sighed, stretching my naked body on the bed.

“Good,” he grunted before taking something out of the dresser and placing it by my thighs, too far for me to see what it was.

I rested my weight on my elbows, no qualms about my naked body in front of him. We had been together for almost six months now; there wasn’t an inch of me he hadn’t explored, and vice versa. His hands went to the back of his shirt and lifted it up and over in that complicated way men undressed that made you think they were part feline and not the simple creatures they liked to claim they were.

Before I knew it, he moved fast and grabbed the scratchy thing by my thigh and shoved it into his back pocket, but I didn’t care. Not when his chest was on display. Tattoos moved and bunched. The colors in some of the pieces caught the pretty lighting cast in the room. My mouth watered to lick and trace each one.

“Lie on the edge of the bed, sweet thing,” he ordered and quickly helped put me where he wanted me. On my back, my hair fanned out under me, my breasts aching to be touched as I pressed my thighs together.

“Uh-uh. None of that, sweet thing.” His hands traced the line of my leg, and out of nowhere, he pulled out an ice-blue satin ribbon from his jean pockets.

“Rolly.” I squirmed. I couldn’t help it.

This, right there, was exactly what I had been talking about.

He had been holding back this angle of our relationship. He had been treating me like glass, soft and sweet. Not that there was anything wrong with it, but the control he took when it came to sex was another way we communicated. A way we connected. I had missed how he had taken me without abandon or care before. Knowing I could handle everything he gave, knowing he would never take things too far. His change in things had thrown me for a loop. Now I understood why.

“Tell me you’re mine,” he huffed as his hand wrapped around my ankle, the heat and roughness of his hand making me ache for more.

Then I stilled. A warm, electric shiver ran down my back. My thighs dampened when I felt what he was doing. The silky ribbon wrapped around one ankle and then the next. Breathing was suddenly difficult.

“Tell me,” he repeated the second he was done tying my ankles together.

“I’m yours.” I had no hesitation in saying what he needed to hear.

Roland rewarded me by tracing the lines of my body with a featherlight touch. I loved when he played with me. I might have been the one semi-tied up with him looming over me with all the control, but in these moments I was free.

His hand moved up the center of my body. A gasp escaped from me.

“Baby.” I arched, bending my knees slightly when his fingers hovered right over where I needed him. His thumb skimmed over my swollen clit before he moved his hand up and over my belly and above.

“Yes, you fucking are. All mine. For better or worse. Till death do us part?” he asked. I heard a shadow of vulnerability in his voice. My handsome, strong-willed guy, who was afraid to be soft.

“Yes,” I hissed as his finger flicked my hardened nipple and my thoughts went silent in my head.

“Hands above your head, pretty girl.” I did as I was told and again, he slipped out a matching ribbon, tying my hands together.

I loved it when he took control.

I loved this aspect of us, and I’d missed this part of us the last couple of weeks. He was adventurous and liked to push my boundaries in a way I more than enjoyed. We communicated, and there was never any doubt he’d never push me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with.

It was something I had only done with him.

Just him.

These kinds of activities would have freaked me out with anyone else. But everything with him was different. He had my complete trust.

“Good girl,” his thick voice said, and I watched as he pulled out what he’d been hiding from his back pocket.

“Mistletoe,” I whispered softly, and his dark, lust-filled eyes softened.

“I get to make wishes and kiss any part under this,” he said as he held the sprigs of greenery tied up in ice-blue and silver ribbons. The same shade of blue that was holding my arms and ankles together. Jesus, the man had an eye for detail.

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” I said, squirming slightly.

“Shhh…” he hushed, putting the sprigs over my shoulder, his long body bending and taking a moment before kissing the delicate slope of my arm, never breaking eye contact.

“Right now, you don’t have to think,” he darkly promised. “Right now, all I want you to do is feel.”