Chapter Eight
Tonight she chose a cream off the shoulder dress which dipped to the small of her back. The skirt rested mid-thigh. The fine material crested over her curves like a second skin and Lila had to admit she looked good in it. But she couldn’t shake the feeling of being some kind of mannequin dressed for Hunter’s pleasure.
Glancing at herself in the full length mirror, Lila ran her fingers through the hair that fell to her shoulders to assure her appearance was in order. She’d stalled as long as she could. It was time for dinner.
“Miss Lila?” Mrs. Coates’s voice chimed in over the intercom.
Lila rolled her eyes, realizing she was being summoned. She walked over to the offending box on the wall and pressed the talk button. “Yes, Mrs. Coates?”
“Dinner will be served in five minutes.”
“I’m on my way down.”
“I’ll let Mr. Jamison know.”
“I’m sure you will.” Lila spoke softly, but she heard every word.
“Did you say something, Miss Lila?”
Damn. Her finger was still on the button. Still, the woman had bat ears. “Umm, no.”
“Very well. I’ll see you shortly.”
Lila felt like she was in grade school all over again and teacher had caught her passing notes. There was no point in delaying the inevitable. She had to face Hunter sometime. With an impending sense of doom, she trudged down the stairs and walked to the dining room.
Hunter was waiting for her. He stood when she drew close, his bright eyes gleaming with naked appreciation. She didn’t want to be pleased by his blatant desire for her, but a tingling sensation spread through her body.
“You look lovely tonight.”
Keeping her lids lowered as she took her seat, she gave him a brief smile. She didn’t see why they couldn’t at least be cordial to one another. “Thank you.”
If it was his intention to play nice, she was willing to go along with it. Frankly, all the bickering was starting to wear on her nerves and she hadn’t even been here that long. Lila didn’t like the hostile feelings she harbored toward this man, even if he did deserve them. Perhaps for her own peace of mind it was better to try and get along with him rather than look for an argument. Her father’s words came back to her and Lila steeled herself to get through the rest of this night with as little conflict as possible.
Hunter sat once again, taking the bottle of white wine and pouring some into her glass. “Try this. I think you’ll like it.”
“I’m not—” It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him she didn’t want any, but she stopped herself. If she was going to get through the next several weeks with her nerves intact, arguing with Hunter wouldn’t be the way to go.
She brought the glass to her lips and took a sip. She wasn’t much of a drinker but this wasn’t bad. In fact, the mixture of fruity flavor with just a hint of sweetness was pleasing to her taste buds. “It’s very good.”
“I’m glad you like it. It’s from my vineyard.”
Lila raised a brow in surprise. This was news to her. “I thought you were strictly into property development.”
“That’s my main interest, but my fingers are in several pies. For instance, I’m part owner of a car dealership, several restaurants and various businesses.”
“You must stay pretty busy if you’re running all of those things.”
“I don’t do it all on my own. There are people who work under me who see to my business holdings.”
“Figures,” she muttered before taking another sip of wine.
He stared at her from over the rim of his wineglass. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.” Lila silently cursed herself for letting her mouth get ahead of her thoughts. If she didn’t want to start any arguments with him she’d have to guard her tongue more carefully.
“Are you by any chance surmising that I sit on some kind of throne while the worker bees do everything for me?”
She shook her head vehemently. “Not at all. Forget I said anything.”
“I assure you, Lila, I don’t demand anything of my employees that I’m not willing to put out myself,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “A company can’t run properly if it has a weak link in the chain and as the leader, it’s my job to keep that chain strong. Most days, I’m working from dawn until well after midnight.”
“That can’t be healthy.”
He gave her a lopsided grin. “You actually sound like you care.”
“I guess it’s the nurse in me. I’d feel this way about anyone.”
He raised his glass and brought it to his lips and took a sip before saluting her with it. “Honest to a fault. If I had any ego before you arrived, I certainly won’t have one for very much longer.”
Lila nibbled on her bottom lip. There she went again, putting her foot in her mouth. She would get this conversation on better footing if it killed her. “I didn’t mean it that way. And of course I’m genuinely concerned. You’re not doing your body any favor by working such a grueling schedule.”
“Probably not, but work is all I’ve had since…” His eyes narrowed slightly before he took another sip from his wine glass.
“The accident?” For the first time since she’d joined him, Lila looked at his face. His hair which he still wore parted in the middle and hanging down on either side of his head obscured most of his scars. She could still see angry red lines peeking through, however.
They weren’t so bad, compared to some of the things she’d seen throughout her career. Probably having one side of his face still untouched was a constant reminder to him of how he used to look. If the society papers were correct about his former playboy lifestyle, having half of his face disfigured would be harder to deal with for him than it would have been for other people.
She could tell how self-conscious he was about it by the way Hunter was constantly patting his hair down over the marks, which is what he was doing at this very moment. Didn’t he know it only drew more attention to him? Lila would have pointed this out, but the last thing she wanted was to make him feel more insecure than he already was.
“It’s all right if you don’t want to talk about it. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“You didn’t. I did. And yes, I’ve worked more hours since my accident, but I worked a lot before it so I’m used to it.”
Mrs. Coates appeared, wheeling in a cart with their dinners and then proceeded to serve them.
The Chicken Francese lined with roasted potatoes and asparagus had Lila’s mouth watering. She didn’t plan on making the same mistake twice by not eating dinner. “It looks delicious.”
The older woman nodded. “Thank you, Miss Lila.” She turned her attention to Hunter. “Will that be all?”
He nodded his head in approval. “Yes. Thank you.”
Only after the housekeeper was gone did Hunter reply to her last statement. “To answer your question, my work has pretty much been my life since the accident.”
“Why do you hold yourself away from the rest of the world? Maybe people make such a big deal about your face because you do.” She cut into her chicken, attempting to add a casualness to her voice she didn’t quite feel. The last thing Lila wanted him to think was that she was trying to get into his head. That was always the fastest way for people to shut down. A lot of people thought that a nurse’s job was simply providing medical care to patients and doing the things that were beneath a doctor, but her job required so much more than that. Patient care involved patient involved getting to care of a patient’s physical and mental health. She found that sometimes just talking to a patient often made them feel better.
Hunter stiffened, his fork halfway to his mouth. “You seem to have it all figured out don’t you?”
Lila took a sip of her wine before answering. “It’s pretty obvious. For instance, you keep your hair in your face. That probably draws attention rather than detracts from it.”
Hunter didn’t reply. Lila could have kicked herself. She’d resolved not to mention what was on her mind and did exactly that. This wasn’t a good time to suffer from run-of-the-mouth-itis. But for a moment Lila had caught a sad look in his green gaze which had touched something deep within her. In that moment there was much more to him than just the business tyrant or the scarred recluse. There had to be something charming about him. How else would he have earned the reputation of ladies’ man before his car wreck? She wondered what he was like before then.
Lila cleared her throat and began her next attempt at conversation. “What do you like to do besides work? Do you have any hobbies?”
“No.” The answer was curt and Hunter offered no further elaboration.
The remainder of dinner was eaten in silence, only broken when Mrs. Coates would come in to check on them. By the time dessert had come around, the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife. Lila couldn’t take it any longer.
“Hunter,” she began tentatively, “I won’t bring it up again if it bothers you. I didn’t mean any offense. I was only…”
“Making small talk?”
“No. Well, yes. But seeing as how we’re stuck together for the next three months, we may as well get to know each other better.”
He placed his fork down and leaned back in his chair. “Say what you really mean, Lila.”
She frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“You said we’re stuck together. What you meant was you’re stuck here with me. Isn’t it?”
Lila shook her head. “I said what I meant. You’re twisting my words.”
“Am I? So in other words, if I weren’t holding something over your head you’d be here on your own volition?”
“Probably not.” The words spilled out before she thought about how they may have sounded.
Hunter’s lips twisted into a grimace. “That’s what I thought.”
“I didn’t mean it as it sounded. No, I probably wouldn’t be here because our paths probably wouldn’t have crossed otherwise. I’m hot dogs and beer. You’re caviar and champagne.”
“Very nicely put, but let’s not pretend you meant anything other than what was said. I appreciate your honesty far more than your lies.”
“Okay, maybe I did mean it that way but I didn’t mean it to come out so harsh. And anyway, even if we did move in the same social circles, I wouldn’t want to be here because of your actions, not the way you look. You have to admit, your reputation wasn’t particularly stellar before your injury. And the fact you were trying to destroy something my father and me held dear didn’t make you a recipient of the good guy award, in my book. I wouldn’t care if you looked like a movie star, I’d still not want to be here, but since I am we may as well make the best of it.”
Green eyes narrowed. “So looks don’t matter to you?”
“Not particularly.”
He rolled his eyes, disbelief etched in every line on his face. “Go ahead and pull the other one. You may have fooled yourself into believing that bullshit, but you sure as hell haven’t convinced me.”
“That’s because you care so much about them, it puzzles you when someone else doesn’t.”
“Says the woman with the face of an angel. I bet you’ve had things pretty easy all your life because you’re beautiful.”
She shrugged. “So what? You think because of the way I look I’ve never face adversity? I have. I’m a woman of color in American, not everything is a cake walk. Besides, I can’t tell you how hard it is to be heard because people automatically assume I’m stupid. And trust me, just because you think I’m pretty doesn’t mean everyone does. I was teased when I was younger because kids said my lips were too big and my skin was too dark or my hair is too kinky. But eventually I had to learn to love the skin I’m in.”
“That may be all well and good for you, but I’m sure whoever said that about you was simply jealous. Me on the other hand…when people call me a monster and point out these hideous scars, it’s because they’re actually ugly.”
Lila threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “Well, I guess there’s nothing I can say to make you see things my way.”
He leaned back in his seat and studied her with his intense stare as he absently swirled the wine around his glass. “There’s no need to pretend with me if they do. It won’t make any difference one way or another.”
“It’s the truth. I’m not that shallow.”
“Then you’re one in a billion. I’ve found more women of my acquaintance would rather cross the street when they see me coming than look at my face. I can’t see how you’re any different.”
“You must be exaggerating.” He had to be. Or was he? Perhaps that’s why he was so bitter. No one deserved to be shunned the way he had, even if karma had finally caught up to him. Lila squirmed in her seat, suddenly uncomfortable with this sympathy she was beginning to feel for him. The last thing she wanted was to care, to see him as a human being who hurt like everyone else. Getting along was one thing, but understanding was quite another.
“Am I? I can’t have imagined the look of horror in my lover’s face when the bandages came off. You see, the irony of the whole situation was, she was in the vehicle during the accident. We argued because I wanted to end the affair. She’d grown a little too clingy for my taste. Dawn, on the other hand, thought we should take the relationship to the next level. She made such a scene in the restaurant, I had to take her home.” He paused for a moment and gulped the remainder of his wine down.
Lila could see the pain radiating out of every pore in his body and it touched a part of her she didn’t expect. She sat silently, waiting for him to continue.
“When I was taking her home, she cried, yelled and begged for another chance, but it grew tedious very quickly. I was so agitated with her tears and protests of love that I didn’t notice that drunk fool driving down the wrong side of the road. Fortunately for her, she survived with a few minor abrasions, while I lay in a hospital bed for weeks in pain, bandaged like a mummy, not knowing how extensive the damage would be. Dawn came by to visit diligently and I was grateful for her company. I even began to think maybe she did love me as she’d claimed to. I’d certainly never given credence to that word before, but I started to depend on those visits. I even fantasized about a possible future with me and Dawn.” He closed his eyes briefly as if having difficulty getting the words out.
Lila’s heart ached for him. She wanted to wring this superficial woman’s neck for callously discarding Hunter at his most vulnerable. Lila most certainly could never have treated anyone so cruelly. “You don’t have to finish.”
He shook his head. “I want to. Besides, if you’re so eager to learn about my life, you might as well hear the bad. Where was I? Oh yes…then came the unraveling and I don’t think I need to go into detail, but, she couldn’t get out of the hospital fast enough. She, of course, said she’d be back, but it was the last time I saw her. I should have guessed right away, but I found out later she’d moved on to the next shlub—an heir to a toilet bowl company.”
“Then obviously she didn’t love you. She wouldn’t have been able to walk away so easily otherwise.”
“No shit.”
“You can’t lump all women in the same category just because one woman did you wrong.”
“She wasn’t the only one, just the first in a line of many. When word spread I was single again, my exes appeared in droves thinking they would be my Florence Nightingale, until they got a look at my face. I may have been able to handle the rejection a little better if it wasn’t for how other people would treat me. It got to a point where I couldn’t go to my office or out in public without looks of fear and disgust. I might have gotten past that, but I couldn’t take the pity. I made a small child cry once.”
“That’s horrible.” Lila wanted to offer words of comfort, but she knew he’d probably take them as pity.
He laughed humorlessly. “For the child, I’m sure.”
“No. For you. I can’t imagine how you must have felt.”
“Of course, you can’t. Because a person like you has probably had it easy. No matter what you said. So what if people think you’re stupid before they even speak to you. Clearly you’re not. But even if you were you’d get treated 100 % better than someone who isn’t attractive. Most beautiful people do. I took my looks for granted until I lost them.”
“I don’t spend time obsessing on how I look, Hunter. I have too much going on in my life to do that. Besides, as I’ve already people out, with so much hatred in the world, doesn’t it stand to reason that I’ve been judged by the color of my skin? It doesn’t feel good, but the people who do that to me aren’t worth my time.”
“I concede there are small minded people in the world, but it’s not exactly the same. I’m sure there are more people who admire the way you look than not.”
“Again, it’s way too trivial to dwell on.”
“Then you’re a rare human being if you don’t think looks matter.”
Lila shrugged. “I’m not so naive to think they don’t with most people and I acknowledge there has to be some degree of attraction between two people if they want some kind of relationship, but in the grand scheme of things, the surface doesn’t matter much. What counts is how a person is on the inside. One of my favorite quotes is ‘beauty fades, but dumb is forever’.”
Hunter’s lips turned up in a half smile. “Is that something your father taught you?”
She grinned. “No. Judge Judy. But she had a point. If I had to choose between the two, I’d much rather be smart than pretty.”
“Says the beautiful woman.” His voice dripped with scorn.
“You’re the one who’s got a hang up about my looks, not me. Anyway when it comes right down to it, once you get used to a person you want more than just a pretty face. You want a little substance. When I finally settle down, I’d rather be with a man who makes me laugh and is a good person rather than a man with Hollywood good looks who is a jerk. Been there and bought the t-shirt. It’s not an experience I intend to repeat.” Her mind drifted to Jason with that last statement.
“You actually sound as though you believe that drivel you’re speaking.”
“It’s not drivel. And I do believe it.” She was beginning to get a little annoyed. Lila wasn’t used to anyone questioning her integrity or trying to find double meaning in her statements. “Anyway, you’re not completely innocent either.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I’ve seen some old articles about you in the society pages. I’ve never seen you with anyone who didn’t look like a supermodel. So don’t sit there and pretend like you’ve never judged anyone based on their looks. I bet there are plenty of genuine women who wouldn’t care about your wealth or position, but you didn’t give them the time of day because they didn’t have perfect bodies, or they weren’t up to your standards of beauty. You reap what you sow and if you chose to date nothing but gold diggers, you can’t expect them to be around in your time of need.”
Blood rushed to Hunter’s face, turning it a deep shade of red. His nostrils flared and he flexed his fingers as if he was contemplating strangling her. But finally after a moment of tense silence, he relaxed. “Perhaps.” Hunter leaned forward. “Tell me, Lila of the noble heart, why did you cry last night? You sit there with your Pollyanna attitude of the world while you can’t stand to look directly at me. And let’s not forget that you passed out the first time you got a good look at me. Oh, you claim it was because you hadn’t eaten but we both know it’s a lie. You’re no better than the other women I’ve come across. In fact you’re worse. You’re a hypocrite. The worst kind of woman.”
Lila slammed her hand on her the table. “Don’t compare me to the trash you used to date. They may wear expensive clothes and mingle in the highest of social circles, but they lack the one thing you can’t buy and that’s class. And I don’t appreciate you calling me a hypocrite.”
“I’m just calling it like I see it. They at least were more upfront. Everyone has a price, Lila. Some women are just more expensive than others. If you were honest with yourself you’d realize you have one as well.”
She took the napkin off her lap and threw it on the table, her appetite gone. All resolve to make it through this dinner with little conflict flew out the window. This man had to be one of the most obstinate people she’d ever met. It was no wonder he’d been dubbed The Beast, although she could think of a few more titles that would suit him even more. “I don’t have to sit here and take this.”
“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong. And I see you’ve neatly skirted around my original question.”
Lila stiffened. “What question?” She knew exactly what he was referring to, but admitting her reasons why would be her final humiliation. She should have known she couldn’t get away with that fib. Hunter was much too shrewd not to guess.
His lips twisted and eyes flashed his disbelief. “You’re trying my patience, Lila. I don’t make a habit of repeating myself, but I’ll ask one more time: why did you cry last night? Were you so disgusted by me you couldn’t take it or is it a habit of yours to weep after sex? If it is, it’s not much of a turn on.”
“It’s not something I ordinarily do.”
“Then answer my question.” He spoke with such dead calm, it sent a chill down her spine.
“I-I can’t.” As much as he’d just angered her, telling him the truth would probably hurt him and it wasn’t in her to do that to him.
“That’s what I thought. You make pretty speeches, but they don’t mean jack squat. You’re starting to sound tedious and I’m getting tired of it. When you speak to me, you’re looking everywhere but my face.” He pushed his hair behind his ears, revealing the full extent of his disfigurement.
Lila flinched, but not because she feared him, but because it saddened her as she imagined how horrible it must have been for him to suffer as he had.
“You say my scars don’t matter, so prove it. Come here and kiss me.”
Why did he have to ask of her the one thing she couldn’t do?
“Look at me, Lila.” His voice was soft but the underlying steel in his tone left no doubt in her mind that his statement wasn’t a mere request.
Tears stung the backs of her eyes at the raw pain she heard in his words. She didn’t want to look at him the way he ordered her to because then she’d start to care as she feared she was very close to doing so anyway. She couldn’t afford to care.
“Look at me!” he roared, making her jump.
A tear escaped the corner of her eye which she hastily wiped away. Lila shook her head. “Don’t make me.”
“You’ll fucking do as you’re told. I’ve had enough of your defiance and if you don’t do as I say, by God, I’m going to make you!”