Light seeped in through a crack in the curtains, bathing the room in a dim light. I twisted my head resulting in my brains feeling like they were about to burst out my ears. Bastien lay beside me fast asleep. He looked adorable; his familiar snuffly snores were comforting and I wanted to touch him, but even moving my hand made all my muscles scream in agony. A cry of pain escaped my lips and Bastien woke with a start. I regretted disturbing him, but I needed painkillers urgently, plus my bladder was screaming for release.

“Help!” I hissed. “Pain.”

Quick as a flash, Bastien jumped out of bed scrambling around to my side where the doctor had left my meds. He picked up several blister packs of drugs and popped out the pills, then he ran to the bathroom for water. Despite the discomfort, I craned my neck to watch his decidedly jiggly little bum. One side of his briefs had disappeared into his crack exposing a delicious bubble butt cheek which I wanted to bite and lick. I took some consolation that my brutal experience had not killed my lust for Bastien, thank God.

The boy returned and helped me sit up so that I could take my pills. I felt each muscle protest as I worked my way up to a sitting position. Bastien passed me the drink and as I took a sip, my lips cracked again.

“Jesus, fuck, that’s sore.” I ran a finger along the seam of my mouth. It felt hideously scabby.

“Here.” Bastien handed me what looked like a lipstick.

“You do it.” I had no energy.

Bastien climbed on to the bed and straddled my waist. He knee walked nearer my face. I placed my hands on his thighs and rubbed his smooth skin. I couldn’t get enough of him. He took the lipstick cover off and twisted the end to reveal a white stick of what I assumed was balm, then he gently swiped it over my lips. It stung at first, then slowly began to soothe the abused area around my mouth.

“I used to have to do this a lot,” Bastien confessed to me in hushed tones. His expression was full of empathy and I hated that he could relate to my discomfort. Probably all of it. He placed the lip balm on the bedside table, then took my face in his hands staring at me straight in the eyes. “I promise you it will be better. I have been where you are now. I know how much it hurts here…” he thumped his abdomen, “et ici…” he thumped his heart, “at ici.” he tapped his head.

Tears welled in my eyes. The young man on my lap should not have been trying to make me feel better. I was supposed to be helping him get rid of all of his bad memories, but instead he was having to relive them through me. This is why I had asked for him not to be here. I tried to push him off of me, but of course, in my weakened state, he didn’t budge.

“I know what you are doing, Tal. But I’m stronger than you think. Just because I had a panic attack the first time we met, does not mean I am weak. Sometimes the flashbacks are too vivid to bear; I am not going to lie to you. Recovery is a long road ahead of us. Don’t you think we can help each other?” Bastien kissed my cheeks licking away my tears.

“You shouldn’t have to go through this again.” He had suffered enough of his own trauma; he didn’t need to get involved with mine.

“I am not. I am helping you get through yours. It is a sad fact that I understand your experience from a personal perspective, but that’s not going to change if I leave. Je reste…” Bas sat back and crossed his arms. His expression was stern, which looked kind of cute, but I could tell his stubbornness was immovable on this subject. And to be honest, I was grateful. I needed him.

“I need to go to the loo.” I jerked my hips indicating he needed to get off me. He climbed off and dropped to his feet, where he waited patiently for me to swing my legs over the side. He offered his arm as a crutch and I took it. I was worried I’d be too wobbly like the previous evening, however, my legs held, and with assistance I made it to the loo just in time.

“Fuck, that stings,” I yelped as I began to urinate.

“Your penis is sore,” Bastien told me with a grim expression. I refused to look.

“Everything is bloody sore.” My voice sounded a bit more normal since I’d rested it overnight. Once I’d had a hot coffee I felt like it would be even better.

“It will heal.” His hand at the small of my back offered warmth and solace.

“Thank you,” I croaked. My throat felt tight with emotion and I was certain I was going to cry again. I was a mess.

“Attends ici.” I understood Bastien wanted me to wait where I was. He returned swiftly with a pair of loose lounge pants and a worn grey t-shirt. “From Sanjay.” Of course, the man was an absolute saint. The soft fabrics felt amazing against my sensitive skin which was still a bit raw from Sanjay’s scrubbing last night. It was a good kind of irritation though; a reminder I had been cleansed. On bare feet, I padded back to the bedroom. I was feeling steadier now.

Bastien hovered close by. “Hungry?” he asked me. My stomach growled in response. “Do you want to go down for breakfast? If not, I can request it to come to your room.” To my surprise, I found I wanted to join the others. I needed their company, but I wasn’t sure I had the energy to make it all the way through the enormous house and down the stairs to the dining room. Bastien must have guessed my dilemma. “Liam is here, or Adam. They will come for you.”

I felt like an idiot having to be carried like a baby, but Liam didn’t seem fazed in the slightest. He held me in his strong arms and never once made me feel like I was a burden. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and whispered my thanks. He kissed the top of my head as he deposited me carefully on a dining room chair. Sanjay hurried over with a cushion indicating to Liam to hold me up. I was pathetically grateful to sit back down on something soft, saving my already painful arse from further discomfort. My chin hit my chest in shame. I couldn’t look at my friends. Bastien held my hand, but even so, I was too flustered to face them.

“Tally.” Izzy’s voice cut the silence. “Please look at me. You have no reason to hang your head.” His Dom voice did the trick and I slowly raised my head. Every single person around that table wore an expression of compassion. I saw no pity or mockery, simply an out-pouring of love. I don’t know how I managed to ingratiate myself into this wonderful family, but I sent a silent prayer of thanks to God, that I had. Izzy smiled at me. “We’re happy to see you. How are you feeling?”

“Much better now I’m clean and rested.” I spotted Liam and Sanjay with Rob at the end of the table and smiled at them. “Thank you,” I told them and they smiled back.

G & T shifted in their seats, evidently keen to speak up. I nodded at them to proceed with whatever they had to say. T spoke first.

“Tolya and Slav are in police custody.” I gasped. That meant I’d have to go public. G held up a hand to me.

“Don’t fret, Tal. We have them on other charges. There is enough evidence to put them away for a long time without having to involve you at all.”

Rob cleared his throat from the other end of the table. “May I?” he asked the Twins. It was a rhetorical question as he continued anyway. “We have discovered enough evidence to link them to the death, or more specifically, murder, of Doron Sagall.” I gasped, so it was true, my client was dead. I felt both sick and relieved. “Furthermore, when investigating into the crime, we discovered an email trail that clearly negates you of any involvement in Mr Sagall’s fraudulent financial dealings.”

My eyes went wide. Email trail? How could that be? I knew for a fact that Doron kept everything verbal so as not to incriminate himself. I twisted my head to seek out G & T, but they were suspiciously busy with their phones. My chest grew tight. They had obviously devised an entire scenario to prove my innocence. It was kind of maddening as I was actually innocent, but I guess having proof worked better in court. I couldn’t deal with the extent of my gratitude towards these men who had put themselves on the line for me. They’d all taken enormous risks.

“The atmosphere is entirely too morose so early in the day,” Jason quipped. “Prosecco and eggs anyone?” He plonked several bottles of the fizzy stuff up and down the table and had Cook serve breakfast. It altered the mood immediately as everyone tucked in. I reached for a flute but Bastien stopped me.

“I don’t think so.” He replaced the prosecco with a glass of orange juice. “Boire ceci a la place.” I frowned at him.

“Darling, he wants you to drink the OJ instead. What a bore.” Jason scowled at Bastien who responded in rapid fire French, way too fast for me to understand. It ended when Angel intervened, setting himself firmly between the two men.

“Jason, mon amour. Bastien is perfectly correct. People on medication cannot drink alcohol.” Angle was so serene, I found him mesmerising.

“All the more reason,” Jason huffed. His pout earned him a growl from Remi, who yanked the Lord on to his lap. “Remiiiiiii,” Jason whined, then yelped then groaned. Remi was clearly doing something interesting to Jason under the cover of the tablecloth.

“Behave,” Remi barked. Jason rolled his eyes, but reluctantly complied.

“For the love of God,” Izzy complained in his sexy Dom baritone. “Can everyone please calm down.”

I held my hand up and the room fell silent. “It’s ok guys, honestly. Just carry on as normal because it’s like a tonic to my fevered mind. Seriously.” And it was true. Their antics were both amusing and distracting.

Rob piped up again. “As I was saying, before the Good Lord interrupted. You have no need to be concerned about landing in trouble. That’s all over. You can go back to your life and to your work when you’re ready.”

Bastien took my hand and laced our fingers together. He must have sensed my anxiety at Rob’s suggestion.

“Actually, I think I’m going to take a break. I think I need a holiday.” The idea was taking root. I wanted to ask Bastien to come with me, but not in front of all these people.

“Tally, your mum called like a million times. I had to tell her you’d been mugged. You need to speak to her.” Izzy passed me his phone. I sighed.

“I’ll call her, but not here.” I rose with some difficulty. “Ok to use the conservatory, Jase?”

“No need to ask. Only room off limits is mine.” Jason smiled at me.

Bastien lent me his arm once again as I shuffled alongside him to the glass roofed room. I sank into the sectional sofa and once he was assured I was comfortable, he left me to speak to my mother.

“Oh God, Tally, I’ve been so worried. Izzy told me you were mugged?” He’d prepped me on the story he had concocted for my parents’ benefit. There was no need for them to know the real details. I could at least save them the heartache of their son’s ordeal.

“I’m fine, Mama.” I knew how she loved when I called her that. “A little battered and bruised, but otherwise unharmed.” I tried to be as convincing as possible, however there was an ominous silence at the other end of the phone.

“What are you not telling me?” she finally asked. She was freaky like that. I had never been able to lie to her and get away with it. The truth, however, was something I wanted to shield from her.

“Nothing, honestly, Mama.”

“Don’t you ‘Mama’ me, young man. I can tell you’re holding something back.”

I sighed. My throat was thick with tears. For the first time in years, I needed my Mum’s loving embrace. “Please don’t push me on this.” My voice was a desperate whisper.

“Put Isadore on the phone. Now.” She sounded mad. I covered the voice piece and yelled for Izzy. He came running. “Gayle wants a word.” I sounded defeated even to my own ears. Izzy raised his eyebrows and took the phone.

“Um, Gayle? How can I help?”

Izzy jolted and held the handset well away from his ear, as my mother’s high-pitched rant continued for several harried moments. Izzy sighed. His own mum was just as cloying. He strolled off to the other side of the room where I couldn’t make out his words, but he sounded controlled. When he returned he looked a little sheepish.

“What did you do?” I asked him.

“Don’t kill me ok, but she wants you to go home so she can look after you properly.”

My mouth fell open. “Do not tell me you agreed.”

“I may have.” Izzy shrugged. “She’s your mother, Tal.”

I dropped my head to the back of the sofa and closed my eyes. There was no point in arguing. If he’d said no, his own mother, Valerie, would have had his guts for garters.

“When am I going?”

“Tomorrow morning. G & T are heading back to London – they’ll drive you in the Range Rover.” His voice was tight.

“And? What else?”

“I told her you were bringing a friend.”

I bolted upright, jarring every single one of my injuries which had me yelling in agony. Bastien skidded into the room scowling at Izzy. My brave boy. “What the fuck, Iz? Didn’t you think to ask me first? She’s going to be a fucking nightmare. And supposing Bas doesn’t want to go?”

“I want to go,” Bastien piped up. I rolled my eyes and tutted.

“That’s not the point.”

Izzy rolled his shoulders. “You would never have asked him. I saved you from worrying about it.”

“You’re such a control freak. There’s a reason I never wanted to be your friend. Now you’ve even made me do that.”

Izzy threw his head back and howled with laughter. “Oh my God, Tally, would you get over yourself? You love me, just like everyone else does. All I’ve done is hurry along the inevitable. It’s clear you two are stuck on each other. And Gayle is gonna love Bas, you know it.”

The man was insufferably arrogant and way too smug. He was right of course, about everything, but that didn’t help my angst over bringing Bastien home. I needed Izzy to go away. As if on cue, Adam appeared.

“Sir.” he called quietly. Izzy responded immediately.

“Boy?”

Adam entered and immediately dropped to his knees beside Izzy. “May I speak?”

“Of course, Pet.’’

I was intrigued by their dynamic. It should have been cringey, but it was utterly mesmerising.

“I’ve been bad, Sir,” Adam confessed. Izzy sat up straight. Adam leaned up to whisper in his ear. The expression that crossed Izzy’s face made me catch my breath. No denying the man was sexy, but when he was appropriately aroused? Well, that made him gorgeous on a whole other level. Adam dropped his chin to his chest.

“Apologies Tal; Bastien. My Boy has indeed transgressed and is due some punishment accordingly. Please excuse us.”

Izzy permitted Adam to stand and they left. Izzy led while Adam trailed behind. He quickly turned to me and winked. I gasped. “He bloody contrived the entire thing!” Bastien giggled. It was such a happy sound it lightened my spirits immediately. “So, it seems you’re going to meet my mother. It’s a little sooner than I anticipated.” Bastien didn’t need to know I had never taken anyone home before.

“Mr Woolf told me you have never taken a boy home before?”

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” I muttered through gritted teeth. Bastien giggled again. He was so sweet. “I’m glad you’re my first. I wish things had been different, though.”

“I want to meet your Maman. She is sure to be a wonderful person.” Bastien looked so wistful, I didn’t want to burst his bubble. And in truth, Gayle was fabulous. Cloying, overbearing, interfering, yet still the best Mum in the world. I loved her. She never made me feel bad about being gay, or that it was unacceptable to be so. That was a big thing in her community, but she dared anyone to say anything about it and get out alive. I knew she would be fiercely protective of Bastien, especially once she knew he had no contact with his own piece of shit mother.

“Can we please stick to the mugging story?” I requested. “I won’t be able to handle her knowing the truth.”

Bastien nodded. He looked sceptical. “I think she will guess it is not this.”

“She already does.”

“Et votre Pere?”

I thought about my Dad. “He’s probably better not knowing. Fancies himself a bit of a bruiser, especially when he gets together with Izzy’s dad, Jack. Probably want to go on a rampage.” I made light of it, but one day, Izzy had told me that our fathers had made up a sort of a gang in their day. Being that they were both affluent and Jewish, their strength was in manipulation rather than brute force, but I understood violence was involved too and that they were a group to be reckoned with back then.

“I know Jack Woolf,” Bastien replied. “He joined us after the rescue mission for Remi with Izzy, Adam, Jason, G & T.” That floored me. I had forgotten. “Jack and Lord Ben Greenall, are good friends.”

“That means he must also know my Dad, Ira.”

“Ira Roth. That is a great name. Sounds like a gangster, non?” We chuckled. Mine turned into a yawn. Bastien pushed me back into the cushions. “Time for, how do you say, fifty winks?”

“Forty,” I corrected him. “Stay with me.”

Bastien covered me with a light grey cotton throw. I was snug and cosy. The painkillers had kicked in, and I felt less stressed than I had in the last 24 hours. Bastien fussed over me and I dozed off.

“Oh God, that feels so good, don’t stop.” My balls ached with need. My cock was rigid and wept with lust. The hand on my shaft tugged long divine pulls that made me quiver. My nipples peaked into hard nubs that had me panting with each pinch and flick. I was in heaven.

“The Jew faggot likes that, huh?”

Tolya’s menacing tone fucked with my head. I opened my eyes to find him bent over me. His latex covered fist was pumping my engorged cock while Slav tormented my nipples. I hated myself for enjoying what they were doing, but each brush of their hand on my sensitive genitals had me catching my breath. It was wrong but felt too good.

Slav threw me a lascivious grin. His smirk was crude and held promise of evil things to come. It excited me. It made me feel dirty with longing.

“Suck me, motherfucker,” I taunted him. “Put that mouth to good use around my fat cock.”

Slav snorted. I heard the snot gather in his throat then felt the wetness hit my cock as he spat it out. As it drooled downwards, Slav leaned forward and engulfed my length in one deep throated moment. I groaned.

Tolya stood behind me with his hands over my shoulders as he twisted my nipples relentlessly. I had never really been into pain, but this was exquisite. Every nerve ending was on fire. My balls drew up and the tell-tale tingle at the base of my spine grew stronger as my climax built.

Slav swallowed. Tolya pulled my nipples hard as he sank his teeth into the pulse points on my neck. It drove me wild. I arched my back and shot my load hard into Slav’s mouth. Tolya laughed. Slav released me and spat my come into my face, before he too began to laugh. A torrent of abusive words flew at me. The most revolting, offensive insults were hurled at me one after the other while I continued to orgasm. I couldn’t stop coming. The worse they were, the more it excited me. The heights of ecstasy continued to consume me.

“TAL!”

I jerked upright. I was sobbing hysterically. Bastien was shaking me trying to wake me up.

“Oh my God!” I cried. The nightmare had felt too real. It was horribly vivid still.

“It’s ok. You’re ok. Try to calm down.” Bastien smoothed my hair and cupped my face. “We’re going to go upstairs. Do you need Liam?”

“Upstairs?” I hiccupped. “Wwwhy are we going upstairs?”

Bastien chewed on his lower lip. I was reminded of a time I wanted him to put a stop to that nervous habit. Now I was glad of the signal that he was anxious.

“Just let us go to your room.”

I frowned. Bastien was behaving oddly. “Tell me why we are going upstairs.” I sounded harsh even to my own ears. He shrank back a little and I regretted speaking to him that way. I shifted on the sofa and…oh, fuck. I looked down. The front of my pants were soaked. I inhaled and the smell of my ejaculate filled my head. I swallowed hard.

“A wet dream?” I cried. “A wet, fucking dream?” I was desolate.

“It is nothing,” Bastien tried to console me.

“I’m not fucking twelve!” I roared at him. It was too much. I was mortified with shame. “Get out!” I yelled. “GET OUT!”

Bastien scrambled off the couch at the force of my words. I was immediately sorry for putting that look of fear and horror on his face, but I couldn’t make myself say the words. I was sitting in a pool of my own spunk. My arsehole throbbed like a motherfucker, and my lips had split again. I was not in a good frame of mind. My eyes welled up, again, for the love of God, and my chest grew tight.

“No fucking way.” A panic attack was coming. I tried to remember Liam’s remedy but my mind clogged too quickly. I was grappling at the collar of my t-shirt. My skin grew clammy and my vision blurred. I was dimly aware of Bastien running out the room. I couldn’t blame him. I was too much of a mess to cope with; I knew it. I tried to stand but my legs gave way and I crumped to the floor in a heap. I was gasping for air. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I felt like I was going to die.

My world spun. Literally. A set of strong arms hauled me off the floor and over their shoulder. I grunted, still in the full throes of my panic attack, but was aware that Liam was carrying me somewhere. Moments later my back hit a soft mattress. I opened my eyes to discover I was back in my room.

“Count,” Liam instructed. He had a Dom voice similar to Izzy’s. I was compelled to obey.

“One.” My voice was husky.

“Two,” Liam urged.

“Two,” I complied, and so it went on. At thirty I was finally able to breathe on my own. “Thank you.” Liam merely nodded. I could tell he was disappointed in me. I dropped my eyes.

“We’re all here to help you, Tal. I get that you are traumatised, who wouldn’t be? But don’t be a cunt about it, eh? Bastien doesn’t deserve that.”

My hands flew to my face as I started crying again. I was an emotional wreck. I mourned the loss of my cocky, carefree former self. I abhorred feeling so vulnerable. Liam batted my hands away and cupped my chin. “The only way to get past this is to lean on those around you and accept their help.” I nodded. “And counselling. Believe me, therapy will help.” I nodded again. Liam stood up and left. I noticed Bastien hovering by the door.

“Sorry, baby, I’m so sorry,” I blurted out amid fresh tears. He ran to me and put his arms around me. “I think you should leave me. I’m not good for you now.” I was a hot snotty mess, but Bastien never tried to pull away. He held me until I stopped weeping. “Sorry,” I reiterated my apology.

“I get it. I really do.” Bastien looked sad. “I am the one who is sorry for reacting like a scared little rabbit. I know you would never hurt me.”

I shook my head violently. “You are too precious. I don’t deserve you.” I cuddled him to me. I felt him reach for something on the bedside table and the next thing I knew he was dabbing at my mouth with a soft tissue. I winced. He smothered my lips with more lip balm which soon soothed the sting.

“Try not to aggravate the cuts. They keep opening.” Bastien looked pained.

“I need to shower,” I told him.

“Perhaps a bath? Then I can join you, non?” Bastien blushed adorably and it warmed my heart.

“Oui?” I agreed. And he grinned happily. “That’s better.” I brushed his face with the back of my knuckles. “I like to see you smile.”

“You make it easy for me to smile,” he replied. I doubted that very much, but it was sweet of him to say it.

Bastien hopped off the bed heading for the bathroom. I lay there listening to the running water until he called me to get ready. I sat up and placed my feet flat to the floor. I was shaky but stable enough to make the short distance to the bathroom. Bastien was hardly visible beneath all the bubbles. I laughed at him. “You look cute.”

He chuckled. “Do not think that I am a child under this ‘cute’ exterior. I know what I want.” I lifted my eyebrows at such a bold statement. It was unusual for him to be so forward. “I think you need to hear that, so you remember I am not fragile. Scared sometimes, c’est vrai, mais…” He hesitated, “But mending.”

I was so proud of him for owning his feelings. He set a fine example. I was a lucky man in many respects, despite what I had recently endured.

Bastien stood up in the bath and gestured for me to join him. “Be careful, Monsieur.” It was strange to hear him address me that way, but he seemed ok with it so I let it go. I peeled down my sticky lounge pants and stepped out of them with a look of disgust. I grabbed my t-shirt by the hem and dragged it over my head leaving it in the pile. I noticed Bastien staring at me at the same time his lower lip disappeared between his teeth. It was fucking hot to see the desire in his eyes. I was covered in welts, bruises and paddle marks, but mystifyingly, he saw past them.

The bath was a massive claw footed tub, but there was a stool to step onto making it easier to get in. Bastien held up his hand as a guide. “Ouch that stings,” I hissed as I slotted in-between the V of Bastien’s legs. His arms captured my waist and he pulled me in close.

“Lean your head back.” Bastien placed his palm on my forehead directing my head to his shoulder. I closed my eyes as he licked and sucked at my throat. It felt good. The warm water had begun to feel amazing, leaving me feeling a little weightless.

“Hmm.” I was beginning to get aroused. The thought panicked me.

“Shush. Don’t overthink, just go with how you feel.” I nodded. “Want to give you good memories,” Bastien reassured me. I tried to focus on where I was right now and who I was with. Snapshots of my few hours in captivity crept into my thoughts every now and then, but Bastien was doing a good job distracting me. His hands caressed my skin with care not to aggravate any sore spots. He massaged my shoulders and arms and rubbed soothing circles around and around on my chest and stomach. I relaxed into his body, concentrating hard on the passage of his magic hands as they journeyed south. I tensed a little as his fingers brushed through the hair on my groin. His touch was non-threatening and so light, I wasn’t anxious at all.

“This is ok?” Bastien whispered.

“Uh huh,” I grunted back, unable to form proper words, I was so chilled. I lifted my hips slightly as a hint for Bastien to continue. I was keen to erase the memory of the abuse I had recently suffered, with something precious. I trusted Bastien. I was half in love with him if I was being honest with myself. I wanted him to be the one to heal me. “Touch me, baby,” I pleaded. “Make me forget.”

Bastien kissed the side of my head. I twisted my face to meet his lips and he licked at the seam of my mouth with the tip of his tongue. I opened to let him in and the familiar taste of him made me hum with joy. I sucked on his tongue greedily, eliciting moans that made my cock swell. He was so goddamn sexy. His alabaster skin was glowing pink from the heat in the bathroom. His hair was damp and pushed back off of his face. His unique amber eyes had turned dark with desire, almost obliterated by his blown pupils. Evidence of his arousal was prodding me in the back. It was an erotically charged moment that I burned into my brain for safe keeping. I knew in the dark of night when my terror was at its peak, I would be reaching for this memory to soothe me.

Long, lithe fingers circled the head of my cock, teasing me with feather light flicks and twists. It was exquisite. I moaned into Bastien’s mouth, feeling his smile. He pulled away to shower me with rapid-fire words in French that I didn’t understand, but I think he was too far gone to realise. I didn’t mind, it was damn hot to know that pleasuring me turned him on so much.

“Harder, Bas…I need…” I covered his hand with mine and pumped my cock hard. “Oh fuck, that feels…”

“I want to sit on your cock, Tal. Monsieur, may I?” Bastien was biting his lip shyly. I could feel his tremors at my back. “Is it too soon? Are you too sore?”

His nerves brought me back to reality. I had to remember that Bastien too was a survivor of abuse. He had suffered far worse than me, and yet, he was able to push aside his own torment to accommodate my needs. My heart squeezed in my chest. He was such a beautiful person on every level. I swirled around in the water to face him. I wanted to see his eyes to know if he was being serious, or if he was merely trying to be what he thought I needed.

“Is this something you want to do? For you, not me?” I croaked. My emotions were running high once more. He placed his hands either side of my face. His eyes bore into mine.

“I told you that I love sex.” I nodded, recalling our time in the Manor gardens. It felt like a lifetime ago rather than just days. “C’est vrai, Tal. Et avec vous…” He sighed. “I want to very much.”

I studied his expression. I took in the rigidness of his cock braking through the surface of the bath water. My mouth watered. We were in this together.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom,” I told him. He stood first and nimbly got out of the bath. He waited to assist me. I was pleased to note that the heat of the bath had eased my muscles somewhat. They were definitely less achy.

“I added lavender oil to the water. It is supposed to aid recovery,” Bastien told me. “Sanjay gave me the bottle.” He picked up a vial on the vanity unit to show me. “He said to use it often.”

“Ok. Good then.” I could care less for banal conversation at this stage. I was eager to get to the good stuff. I tugged him by the hand and dragged him to the other room. He giggled at my pathetic attempts to go all caveman on him. I was too wobbly for the most part, but enough of my strength had returned keeping me from actually keeling over. Bas had grabbed some towels and managed to throw them on the bed before we both toppled onto the mattress. I laughed at his tangle of limbs. His cock had softened and was a bit floppy when he bounced. For some reason, I found that extraordinarily erotic. It was a pretty penis, just like Bas. Not too long or thick, but perfectly proportioned from tip to base.

“I love your cock.” I kissed it for emphasis. Bastien giggled and pushed me away. He shimmied up to the head board and crossed his legs. He looked like a little kid ready for story time. I wiggled up to him and grinned. “I bet I can make it hard just by looking at it.” Bastien scowled and crossed his arms. I snorted and continued to stare at his cock. It twitched. Bastien gasped. I licked my lips and his cock plumped a little bit. I narrowed my eyes and exhaled slowly. He grew harder. I chuckled; Bastien huffed.

“How are you doing that?”

“I have magic powers.”

“Pah!” Bastien scowled again. His cock was fully erect and the longer I stared at it, the more it reacted. First it jerked, then a bead of pre-come appeared from his slit. My mouth watered once again as I yearned for a taste, but I wanted to drive him out of his mind before I touched him. I wanted him to beg me. I needed to make sure he really wanted me to fuck him.

“You have the most delightful balls. Small and tight and round. I bet they would fit in my mouth just perfectly.”

“Mon dieu.” Bastien banged his head back against the headboard. I watched as his Adam’s Apple bobbed as he swallowed repeatedly. He was close.

“And I can’t wait to get a taste of your arse. I want to rim you so badly. Can I do that before I fuck you, Bastien? Would you let me touch you there with my tongue?”

“Fuck!” Bastien cursed. “That’s my favourite!” His face lit up. “Would you do that for me?” He opened his eyes and shot me a look that made my heart skip a beat. He was trying so hard to trust me. I nodded slowly. “One of the boys had to do that to me when Henri had guests. They wanted to watch us.”

My face fell.

“Non, non, you don’t understand. It was the best time. He only wanted to watch, and Quatre, I mean, Pierre, he made it so good for me.” It was a lot to take in. Izzy had told me that the boys weren’t called by their names; Henri gave them numbers instead in order of their capture. Angel was Cinque.

“What was your number?” I rasped hesitantly. I wanted it to be a high number. I prayed for it to be a high number.

Bastien bowed his head. He inhaled sharply. “Trois.”

“Three?” I choked.

“Oui. I was there for a while.”

How to kill a mood. My throat closed. My heart ached. I couldn’t comprehend what his life had been like at the hands of such a monster. My ordeal paled pathetically in comparison. I had no right to be so morose over suffering for a few hours, when Bastien had been taken for years.

“How are you so ok with it?” I asked him.

“Oh, I assure you I am not at all ok with it. But I refuse to let that man have one more second of my liberty. I will not lose more of my life to him. I want to live without his shadow always hanging over me. It is so hard, but you…” I held my breath waiting for his accusation? Declaration? I had no clue. “You have given me the most hope.”

“Hope?” I repeated. I was utterly captivated by this awesome young man.

“Of course. You are amazing. You are successful and clever; handsome and funny. And kind. You can have anyone you want, Tal, but you picked me. I am nothing special, but you have seen something in me that is attractive, non?”

Bastien wasn’t saying these words for sympathy or attention. He was merely stating what he believed. I sat up, wincing slightly at the jarring movements that worried my wounds. I sat facing Bastien mirroring his pose. I clasped his hands in mine.

“You are special.” Long black eyelashes fluttered. Predictably, Bas rolled his lower lip between his teeth. “Before I met you, I was quite frankly, a total slut. I fooled around with someone different every weekend. I never had a proper boyfriend, nor did I want one. And I never took anyone home.”

Bastien’s eyes widened. “No one?”

I shook my head. “You’re the first.”

“Oh, wow.” Bastien’s hands flew from mine to his mouth.

“You’re such a joy, Bas. Somehow, you haven’t lost your innocence, or your ability to remain positive even in the face of utter depravity.” I grinned. “I really like you a lot. I don’t want to save you or protect you, or be your Daddy.” We both snorted at how ridiculous that scenario would be. “I think I’d just like a boyfriend, if that’s ok? You’re smart and affectionate; very easy on the eyes…” I winked at him and he blushed. “Extremely fucking sexy, and great fun.”

“You want to be my boyfriend?” Bastien asked with more than a note of disbelief.

“Yup, I think we’re good together. I think there’s an amazing future waiting for us.”

“You do?” Bastien asked. “I mean, of course there is. But have you really thought this out?”

“Come here.” Bastien straddled my lap. We both stretched out our legs and it pushed us very close together. I felt his cock stir back to life, as did mine.

“It’s not going to be easy. I think we could both benefit from some counselling, but how do you feel about travelling?”

Bastien looked shocked. “But what about work?”

“Do you work?”

He shook his head. “I don’t have any money. Mr Woolf and Mr Cohen have a LGBTQ+ centre where I help out. They give me a room and food. I’m not ready to be on my own, so it suits us all.”

I pondered on our situation. It was certainly unique. In reality, we had only known each other a really short time, but the connection was strong, and I was certain we were destined to be together forever. I mentally berated myself for thinking foolish things. It was too soon.

“Tell me what you are thinking,” Bastien encouraged. He peppered sweet little kisses all over my face, studiously avoiding my cuts and bruises. The painkillers were beginning to wear off and my cheek bone was throbbing like hell. But nothing would deter me from my course now that I had put it out there. It had never occurred to me to take a sabbatical. I had always loved my job, or more accurately, the funds I roped in from the deals I brokered. It allowed me to live a frivolous lifestyle, going from one nameless fuck to another. I flitted from party to party wearing designer clothes, driving my ridiculously indulgent car, drinking too much, existing without any true compass. Suddenly, it all seemed pointless. I despised myself.

I blinked hard. I had just had a major eureka moment.

“I, I…I’m a horrible person.”

“Quoi? Non, Tal…” Bastien’s eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline.

“I have no values or morals. Money is my God. I drive a ridiculously showy car and indulge every whim without a care for anyone but myself.” I nodded. “Yup. I’m judgy and cocky and behave like an utter prick most of the time.”

“Where are you going with this?” Bastien huffed. “Because I haven’t seen any of those things you just described.”

“Because you don’t know me.” My heart sank.

“The old you,” Bastien corrected.

Could I change? I desperately wanted to be a different person. One that wasn’t caught up in designer labels and devil may care lifestyle. I was at an age where I should have more in my life. “Do you want children?”

“Whoaaaa,” Bastien gasped. “Seriously? Now?”

“What? No, not right now, obviously. But I’ve never even considered being a dad before.” My thoughts were running wild causing my head to spin. I felt like I’d opened a proverbial can of worms.

“Why don’t you calm down a little, Tal. Let’s just take one step at a time. We need to get to your Maman; make it through the wedding next week, then decide where to go from there. Let’s do today, today and tomorrow, tomorrow, and so on.” He pulled me in for a hug and I rested my chin on his shoulder. He rubbed my back until I felt the storm of my whirling thoughts begin to recede.

“You haven’t answered my questions.”

Bas sighed. “I’d love to travel, and yes, I do see beaucoup des enfants in my future.”

I relaxed even more. He was with me. “I’m sorry for going off half-cocked.”

Bastien smirked. “Doesn’t feel that way to me, maintenant.”

I snorted. It was true. Both of our cocks had sprung back to life due to the friction of our hug. I felt his cock leave sticky trails across my abs when he giggled. I wiggled my hips and a delectable little noise left Bas’s mouth on a breath. I loved how responsive he was. I kissed him and we spent what felt like hours just making out, until I got a cramp in my leg. I threw him off and he landed on his stomach with a huff. I smacked his bum, watching in awe as a pink handprint appeared. Bas moaned and lifted his hips.

“Do it again – not hard, but I want to feel it.” I complied and he moaned again. His hips jerked and he began to rut the mattress.

“Oh no you don’t.” I lifted him away. “On your knees.” He pushed out his arse, the little cock tease, and slid his knees under him. He supported his upper body with his palms flat on the mattress. I caught my breath as he twisted his head over his shoulder and shot me a smouldering look. “Jesus, you’re so fucking sexy.”

Bas wiggled his bum. “You promised.” He taunted me.

I couldn’t fucking wait to taste him. I prised his cheeks apart, marvelling at the dark crease punctuated by his rosy pink pucker. It was perfect. He waxed there too, it seemed. But I wasn’t complaining, it gave me better access. I shuffled in closer. My body was screaming for rest, but I wanted this more. I licked a stripe up one buttock and then the other. Bastien huffed with impatience. I blew on his hole resulting in him squeaking adorably. I flattened my tongue, and without warning delved in and lapped at his pucker. Bastien wailed.

I inhaled deeply letting the smell of him fill my head. He was musky and sweet and tasted delicious. I spat on his hole teasing the sensitive nerves of his pucker with the point of my tongue. Bastien rocked, all the while making sexy noises, filling me with an urgent desire.

“More, please, more. J’ai besoin de venir… Mon Dieuuuuuuu…” Bastien howled as my tongue breached the entrance to his body. He shuddered at the intrusion. I tormented him further by adding a finger. I probed with my tongue and prodded with my finger finally locating his prostate. The boy nearly flew off the mattress and I marvelled once again at his responsiveness to my touch.

“Touch yourself,” I mumbled into his arse. Bastien hesitated for the moment it took for him to decipher my garbled words, then hastily grabbed his leaking cock.

“Won’t last…” he gasped. “Too good.”

Bastien fisted his shaft and pumped away while I continued to eat him out. I sucked on his hole causing him to cry out. I leaned in and fucked him with my tongue and fingers until he was a hot, blabbering mess. Suddenly, Bastien froze. I felt his channel clamp down on my tongue and fingers as his orgasm barrelled through him. The hot, tight walls of his body pulsed around me as his balls unloaded, shooting ribbons of creamy come out of his cock over his fist and on to the towel. Oblivious of the mess, Bastien belly flopped, exhausted, to the mattress. He was panting hard.

“You ok, baby?” I asked licking my lips.

“Can you fuck me like this?” Bastien slurred his words. “I feel sloppy enough. Please, Tal?”

I really wanted to, but my body was aching all over with the effort it had taken to rim him. My cuts and bruises throbbed painfully and a wave of fatigue made me sway precariously. Bastien chose that moment to glance over his shoulder and with a cry of dismay leapt up just in time to save me from careening off the side of the bed. He guided me onto my back, away from the wet patch thankfully, and fluffed up a pillow placing it under my head. I watched through heavy eyelids as he dashed to the bathroom to clean up. He returned with a wet cloth and wiped gently over my face before removing the messy towel beside me and climbing back in to bed.

“Sorry,” I slurred.

“Non, non. You have done too much. You must rest. I shouldn’t have asked. I‘m so selfish.” Bastien sounded terribly upset. I pulled him onto my chest ignoring the agonising burn of my wounds, because I needed him to know he never had to apologise for asking for what he wanted.

“Don’t you dare feel bad for one second. I loved everything we did. I can’t wait until I’m well again so I can drive you out of your mind for hours. It would be my privilege to fuck you six ways ‘til Sunday, every single day, babe. It’s my fault, not yours. My body just isn’t up to it, but believe me, my mind is willing!”

Bastien’s mouth quirked upwards. “Really? You are not mad at me?”

I had no words that could convince Bastien, so instead I kissed him. I used my lips and tongue to reassure him, until gradually his body relaxed into mine and he returned the kiss. We fell asleep wrapped around each other. My entire night was dreamless.