“Here,” Gracie said as she slipped into the bathroom. I was in the tub, bathing myself in the sweet scented milky concoction Gran created for me every full moon. “Gran told me to bring you this plate. She wants you to finish eating this, because if not, it’s going to go bad in the fridge.” She set a plate with sliced cucumber on the edge of the bathtub.

“Thanks.” I sighed as I picked up a slice and bit into it. I was over vegetables. I was over fruit. All I wanted was meat. Bread would even be a nice addition.

“Are you nervous?” Gracie asked the same question every month, but this time there was more weight packed behind it.

“Not really,” I lied, popping the entire cucumber slice in my mouth. Of course I was nervous. I was surprised she couldn’t see my hands shaking.

“I would be. I mean, you only have a couple of full moons left.” Her gaze drifted from me to her fingers. She picked at her cuticles. “What if you don’t become Moon Kissed?”

“I don’t know.” It was an honest an answer. “Life will go on, I guess.”

“Not the way it should.”

“Says who?”

“Cooper,” she whispered. “He says if you don’t, then you won’t be a member of the pack. Not really. You’d be an outsider. Someone with a glimpse inside, but nothing more.”

Damn Cooper for getting her all worked up.

“I’ll be fine,” I insisted, hoping to reassure her. “Sylvie Hess is fine.”

“I guess.” She fidgeted where she stood. “Don’t you want to be Moon Kissed?”

“Of course,” I scoffed.

“Then why are you acting like it doesn’t matter?”

I said the first thing that came to mind. “How I feel is the only the thing I can control.”

Silence built between us. I reached out for another cucumber slice and bit into it. Gracie continued to pick at her cuticles without looking at me.

“I think I’ll light a candle and say a prayer to the moon goddess for you,” Gracie said in a soft voice.

“Thank you.”

She headed for the door but paused before opening it. “I think your time is almost up. Gran should be in soon with your dress.”

My fingertips looked like prunes. “You’re probably right.”

I didn’t mind the cleansing bath. It was the best part of the whole purifying process. The herbs didn’t smell horrible, and the water made my skin silky smooth.

A few minutes after Gracie left, a soft knock sounded at the door.

“Mina, time’s up,” Gran called through the thin door before she opened it. Draped over her arm was the white dress I was supposed to wear. She hung it on a hook behind the door and shifted to face me. There was a wide smile stretched across her face. “This is going to be it. I can feel it,” she said as she clasped her hands together beneath her chin, her smile growing. She reminded me of a child excited by the prospect of something fantastic and wonderful occurring.

“I hope so,” I muttered before I could stop myself.

“It will happen, child,” Gran said as she reached for the knob. Had my doubt killed her confidence in the situation, or was she upset with me for being so negative? “Change into the dress. Then we can be on our way.”

A shiver slipped through me, and I pulled my knees to my chest. The full moon ceremony was nearly upon me.

I pulled the plug once Gran left the room and climbed out of the tub. My fingers reached for the soft, fluffy towel I’d set on the toilet seat before getting in. It was one reserved for full moons only.

After I dried off, I pulled the sheer white dress from the hook on the door. The fabric was still slightly warm from Gran ironing it. This was another good part of the ceremony—dressing up. I was more of a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl, but enjoyed getting dressed up once in a while. I slipped the soft fabric over my head and let it cascade down my body, falling to just above my ankles. The first time I wore it floated through my mind. Gran had to hem it because it pooled around my feet so much. A couple times a year, she let the hem out as I grew. A few months ago, she’d released it for the final time. There was no more fabric to be let out. No more length to be added. It was what it was, and I was about to completely outgrow it.

The time to be Moon Kissed was now, if ever.

* * *

Twigs snapped beneath my feet as I walked with the others to our secret place in the woods reserved for moon ceremonies and pack runs. Gran led us like always. She was the eldest of the pack. Although, if you stood her beside the Bell sisters, you wouldn’t be able to tell. Gran looked much younger than they did, even though she wasn’t. She had almost a decade on the oldest Bell sister.

Tree branches scraped across my skin as I continued along the path behind the others. Each of us hoped to be Moon Kissed tonight. Would it happen?

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Violet said from the front of the line. My heart went out to her.

“You’ll be fine,” Davey said from behind her. His voice was calm and gentle, but I could hear a slight quiver when he spoke. His mental state wasn’t any better than hers. It was sweet of him to offer her comfort, though.

“Shh, no speaking children,” Gran hissed. We were close to the ritual grounds, but not there yet. Gran thought it was respectful to enter the place in utter silence, so had the elders before her.

It was a mystical place. Tucked into a mountain near the lake, it was one of the most beautiful places in Mirror Lake. A hidden gem. You could see the water, but there was also a cave and plenty of woods to marvel at as well. The best part was, it was ours. No one else knew it was here. At least not any humans. Besides the members of the pack, there were a few witches living in Mirror Lake who knew it existed, but only because they had created the spell that kept the place a secret.

We offered them protection, and in return, they kept the spell that hid our monthly rituals and sacred place up.

“Take your seats, children,” Gran instructed the five of us once we reached the clearing.

We did as we were told. My hair floated around my face as a gentle breeze kicked up, and I rested my hands in my lap, waiting for Gran to pass me my tea. I wanted to get this over with. The not knowing if everyone was right about this moon was eating at me. My heart thundered in my chest as my hands grew clammy.

I glanced out at the pack as they stood watching the five of us settle into a comfortable seated position. Gracie looked as nervous as I felt, but Dad seemed to buzz with excitement. When Eli stepped forward to start the ritual fire, I struggled to remember when his father had passed the responsibility to him. He lit it the last few months, I knew that much, but I couldn’t remember the first.

Gran crossed in front of me, heading to the lake with a silver bucket in her arms. She dipped it in the water and filled it halfway, taking only the water that resided in the reflection of the moon. I didn’t know much about the process, but I knew that was important. We were supposed to take a piece of the moon inside us during this ceremony. It was a way to allow the moon goddess a glimpse at our soul. She was supposed to use it to determine if we were ready to become Moon Kissed, to be given a wolf.

I imagined there wasn’t an inch of my soul the moon goddess hadn’t glimpsed by now. What more would she need to see in order to allow me to become Moon Kissed?

Gran carried the bucket to the fire Eli had started and poured the water into a black kettle waiting. Gracie then went to each of the families of those sitting beside me and gathered the sachets she’d given them the previous day. Their intentions for their loved one would be embedded within the leaves of the tea by now.

Thick smoke billowed into the air, drawing my attention back to Gran. She’d touched the tips of a bundle of dried herbs to the fire. This wasn’t unusual. I’d seen it a million times. In fact, I knew what would happen next—Gran would ward away negative energy that might have congregated in this area since the last full moon. She’d also circle each of us waiting to drink the tea as another form of purification. Still, the sweet familiar scent of the herbs induced panic inside me as it floated to my nose. I closed my eyes as Gran circled me first with smoke. My mind slipped away as I focused on my breath and forced myself to relax, tapping into my meditation skills.

Gracie slipped a small teacup into my hands, and I knew the moment of judgment was upon me. The sharp scent of heated salvia tickled my nose as steam rose from the mug. I kept my eyes closed tight, knowing from experience it was for the best. If I glanced at the faces of the pack while I drank, my anxiety would come rushing back full force and make keeping the tea down that much harder.

A tiny bell chimed—the signal to drink.

I placed the mug to my lips and tried not to shiver with disgust when the first droplets of tea touched my tongue. God, it was so bitter. Potent. Horrible. Exactly as I’d remembered. My stomach churned as I continued to down the nastiness. When I was finished, I held my breath, keeping my eyes closed, and waited.

Nothing happened. Maybe nothing ever would.

My skin tingled as I felt my face redden. The breath I’d been holding came out with a whoosh as pinpricks of ice shot through my chest.

I was never going to be Moon Kissed.

The moon goddess didn’t think I was worthy. She didn’t want me to be a part of my pack. She wanted me to be like Sylvie Hess. An outsider forever.

I opened my eyes and saw the faces of the others staring at me expectedly. If I knew how to fake this—if it were possible—I’d do it so I wouldn’t have to see the disappointment dull their happiness when they learned another moon had passed and Mina Ryan hadn’t walked away Moon Kissed again.

What would they say once they were back home, exhausted from their run, preparing for bed? Would they pity me, or would they talk about how they knew it would never happen for me? That this time would be no different from the others.

My gaze drifted across each of their faces. No one seemed to be looking at me specifically except for my family. Worry creased Gracie’s forehead, but Gran and Dad looked high on anticipation. I couldn’t look at them. I couldn’t look at any of them. At least that’s what I thought until my gaze settled on Eli.

His stare was intense, but I somehow found it calming. He didn’t show any sense of anticipation as he watched me. The ghost of a smile quirked at the corners of his mouth as we continued staring at one another. It caused butterflies to break into flight in the pit of my stomach, and my cheeks to heat for a different reason.

How was it possible Eli Vargas could elicit such feelings from me in a time like this?