Fifteen

 

LUCAS

 

“How is she today?” Maddox asks me as I lean back in my home office chair.

“She hasn’t left the bed. I’m afraid I’m losing her.”

“Give her a few more weeks,” he says, and I groan.

“How long, Maddox? How long should I give her? It’s been two months,” I respond.

Cara has been closed off since the day she woke up in the hospital. I thought it would only last while she was in the hospital, and that she’d come around once we got home.

I was wrong.

So very wrong.

For the past seven weeks, she only leaves the bed if she has to go into the store. The only time we ever talk anymore is if it’s about work. And the only time we have intimacy anymore is when we’re having sex every night.

And as fucking amazing as it is, and I’m grateful I can still sink into her every night, I miss her just being in the room with me. I miss holding her close as we laugh at whatever we are watching. I miss watching her light up with joy as she tells me about her day.

God, I want my girl back.

I’m beginning to wonder if fate is playing a cruel game with me.

She gives me the one thing I’ve been wanting from the moment I saw Cara.

Just to pull it all away from me.

I just don’t see Cara pulling back from this.

“Listen, this is how she is. She pulls into her shell when she’s hurt. When we were younger, she’d only do it for a week or two at a time. We learned it’s how she deals with pain and grief. She has to compartmentalize it.”

“I hear a but coming and I’m not liking it,” I warn him.

“You’re right, you’re not going to like what I’m about to say,” Maddox sighs. “The last time she did this was when Mom and Dad died, and I told her I was joining the Navy. She's the reason I joined after they died, she reverted into her shell. But it lasted months. I knew if I stayed, I was going to lose my sister. I wanted her back. So, I joined the military. Within a month, she started to slowly go back to her old self. However, it took almost two years for her to get back to the sister I knew.”

“So what are you telling me here, Maddox? That I should just leave her so she comes out of the box she’s locking herself into? Not happening!” I shout and slam my hand down onto the desk.

“No, I’m saying that if she hasn’t fucking woken up in a few more weeks then it’s time to start worrying she’s in another long lock down. I never want to see my sister like that again. And I’m just as scared as you that she’s going to be there for a long time,” he explains. “Look, I’m putting in leave. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Maddox, wait,” I sigh. “You’re right. Just wait a few more weeks. If I can’t get her out of this, then I’ll need your help.”

“Just take care of my sister. She’s all I got left in this world, Lucas.”

“You’re wrong, Maddox. You have me too, brother.”

I hang up before he has a moment to respond.

Glancing down at the clock on my desk, I realize it’s late and I know Cara hasn’t eaten all day.

When I open the bedroom door, I take in the figure asleep on the bed. My heart aches at wanting her to turn to me and give me the smirk, telling me she has something sassy to say.

Hell, at this point I’d even take her telling me to fuck off. I just need some sort of emotion, other than desire, from her.

I crawl into the bed and gently press her back to my front. Her skin almost burns mine when I realize she’s still naked from this morning and I’m in just my boxers.

“Lucas,” she moans, sleepily.

“Mia, you need to eat,” I whisper into her ear then I nip the shell of it.

“No, I need you to fuck me,” she whimpers and reaches behind her pulling my cock out of my boxers.

“Promise me you’ll eat after I feed your greedy pussy?”

“Yes, please, Lucas. I need it,” she groans as she lifts her leg on my thigh and lines me up to her opening.

“You own me, Cara,” I warn her as I thrust my hips, burying myself deep into her.

Holding her, I begin to pound into her from behind.

“I need you, Cara. Please, baby, talk to me,” I plead as I slide my hand to the front of her and circle her clit with my fingers.

“I love you and I can’t lose you too, mia. I already lost one love, I’m not going to lose another one. Fate can fuck off. I’m not giving you up.” My voice cracks on the last word and I circle her clit faster.

I’m not lying. Fate already took my child, I won’t let her take my wife. She’ll have to kill me first.

“Fuck,” she screams as she clamps down on my cock. “I’m going to come.”

“Yeah you are, baby, and you know why? You’re mine and I own you just like you own me.” I pinch her clit and plant myself deep as we both dentate together in an explosive orgasm.

“Lucas,” Cara calls out after we both have caught our breath. “Don’t give up on me. I’m trying. I just feel like there was no closure with what we lost.”

My throat tightens. This is the first time she’s brought up our child since she found out in the hospital.

“There’s a hole in my heart and I need time to patch it up, since there’s nothing that’ll ever fully repair it.”

“Okay,” I clear my throat. “I love you, Cara.”

“I love you too, Lucas.”

As she drifts back off to sleep I start to think of things that I can do to help her through this. I’m ready to have my wife back.

 

Two weeks later . . .

 

“We’re all ready when you are. Just text when you’re on your way,” Rhys states as I pace the living room floor waiting for Cara to finish getting ready. “Maddox will be here in five minutes. She still has no idea?”

My eyes go to the bedroom door, and I worry that I’m not doing the smart thing in not telling her my plan.

“Should I tell her?”

“No, I think you doing it this way is the best. Even Maddox agreed.”

“Okay. Cara’s walking out. See you soon,” I whisper as I watch my wife make her way to me.

“Are you sure you can’t do, whatever it is you’re doing tonight, on your own?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I need your help,” I answer then pull her out the door.

I make quick work of helping her into the truck and getting buckled in before jumping in on my side.

“You look amazing tonight, mia,” I tell her. After starting the truck I lean over and give her a soft kiss.

“Thanks,” she murmurs before leaning back and looking out the window.

I pray to God that what I’m doing pulls her back to me.

I've accomplished a lot over the past two weeks. When I started to drift off to sleep beside her, I thought of what she said. That she needed closure.

Which reminded me of how we get closure when there’s a death.

A funeral.

We couldn’t do that, but we could have a memorial. Something that would allow us to grieve with those closest to us. What took so long to get it together was getting everyone here, and getting the statue made.

I had a bronze teddy bear statue made that held a heart and was engraved.

“Why are we here?” Cara’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

Glancing around, I spot the tent that’s up with everyone inside. Maddox begins to walk toward the truck.

“Lucas why is Maddox here and why are we at my parent’s graves?”

I stay silent as Maddox opens her door and helps her down. Quickly, I hop out and walk around to stand in front of her.

“Just let me show you something,” I reach for her hand and walk her up to the graves.

“Read what it says,” I choke out as I take in the statue that’s now between her parent’s name on their gravestone.

“Baby Fisher, you’ll always have a place in our hearts. Cuddle your grandparents until we can be there with you. Love, Mommy and Daddy. Oh, my God,” she sobs out and collapses in my arms.

Gathering her close, I take a seat that’s in front of the graves and just hold her as she cries hard against my shoulder as our friends talk about just how much our little one was wanted.

How much he or she were loved.

Please God, let this be what she needs. If it isn’t . . . then I’m just as lost as she is.