Don’t stop yourself from dreaming. Dreams are what keep our hearts alive.

Lemon Fair, the Queen of Meringue

ELLIE

I slept in the next morning. I’d tossed and turned all night, unable to find sleep after my erotic dreams, and I simply couldn’t drag myself out of bed at sunrise. When I finally did limp out of my room after a quick shower, I turned in the direction of the garage, where I could hear Gabriel working. “Good morning.”

He looked over his shoulder, his smile immediate. “Good morning.”

I walked slowly to the table where William sat, feeling just a little bit uncomfortable, wondering if Gabriel was thinking about what had happened the night before, wondering if it showed on my face that I’d spent the night dreaming about him. Could he tell that I felt extra vulnerable and slightly confused, and that I was so aware of him that my cheeks were flushed? And yet underlying the awkwardness, there was a strange sort of excitement that I didn’t know how to categorize. Did he know? Gabriel’s expression didn’t tell me anything, and so my eyes moved to William. “He has ears.” I tilted from one side of the statue to the other as I took in the perfect little shells.

Gabriel chuckled. “And eyebrows. I need to go to my studio at the quarry to get a few things to finish him. Do you feel up to coming with me?”

“The quarry. Oh, uh, okay. Sure.”

Gabriel smiled. “Let me just grab my keys. It’s literally a three-minute drive from here. We can have coffee and breakfast when we get home?”

I nodded and when Gabriel went back inside, I ran a hand over William’s rough head, my lips tilting up as I traced a finger over one of his still-new ears. He seemed like a little miracle to me. I still couldn’t believe he’d been created as if from nothing at all. And yet here he was. “Sweet little man,” I murmured, laughing softly at myself, feeling silly.

I straightened up, pulling my hand back when I heard Gabriel approaching the garage. A few minutes later and we were turning around in the driveway, headed toward the road.

When Gabriel had helped me up into the cab, he didn’t seem stiff, which made me remember the first time he’d helped me out of the truck two weeks before. I thought about all the small touches, and the way he seemed to feel more confident around me by the day. Maybe I really was providing him some therapy, though it wasn’t purposeful. I liked the idea of that; it made me feel a little less useless, a little less … indebted to him.

A couple of minutes later we pulled off the highway into a parking lot with a large sign that read, dalton morgan quarry. Gabriel pulled into a spot directly in front of a commercial building. The area was heavily wooded to the right of and behind the shop, to the left there was another smaller building, and beyond that, I could see a glimpse of a large canyon, which must be the quarry.

Gabriel reached up and grabbed my crutches from behind the seat, leaning them against the truck and then taking my hand as I stepped down. The air had turned cooler in the last few weeks as fall swept in, but the sun was warm on my skin as Gabriel led me away from the front door of what looked like a showroom and offices and down a side path. In the distance, I could hear the hum of machinery and the shouts of men working in the quarry. Their voices echoed and carried.

Gabriel pulled a door open on the other side of the shop, and I followed him inside to a wide-open space with several tables around the perimeter of the room. There was a large window on the back wall that had a view of the trees beyond.

I walked slowly around, looking at carved pieces here and there, a few on the tables, some leaning against the walls, and others on a large industrial set of shelves. Some pieces were half-done, and others looked complete. I was speechless as I studied them, swallowing heavily as my eyes were pulled from one to the next. Gabriel was … my God, I hadn’t even realized the depth of his talent.

I stopped in front of a flat piece of rock with the face of a boy, eyes closed, emerging from the middle as if he were pushing through the hard barrier, desperate to reveal himself. It looked like a young Gabriel, and I wondered if it was a sort of self-portrait. Something about it made my throat feel clogged. I ran a finger delicately over the boy’s cheek and then moved on, looking at a small dog with only one ear, and a rose that looked as if the stem had broken off.

“Most of these are things I did when I was younger … still learning,” Gabriel said from beside me, and I startled slightly, having almost forgotten he was there. I glanced at him, one hip leaning against a table, his hands in his jean pockets as he watched me look at the things he’d created.

“They’re beautiful.” Wonderful. Amazing. Impossibly magical. “You’re …” I almost told him he was beautiful, too, but stopped myself, the words left dangling in the air. I felt sure he knew exactly what I’d been about to say. You’re beautiful. Examining the things that spoke of Gabriel’s incredible talent made me feel brittle, vaguely ridiculous. Made me wonder again what this man saw in me and why. He possessed the ability to bring forth life from rock, to summon beauty from stone, and I … I took my clothes off for men and let them watch my tits bounce. Gabriel was a brilliant artist and I was a disgusting, talentless joke.

I turned, obviously startling Gabriel, who looked suddenly surprised, moving away from the table and standing to his full height. “Did you get what you need?” My voice sounded cold, and I grimaced inside.

Gabriel tilted his head, looking at me thoughtfully before his lips tilted up in a smile. “Yeah, I’ve chipped away at William enough. It’s time to start smoothing him out now.”

“Smoothing him …”

“Yes, eventually he’ll look like this.” He picked up the dog, and I saw that although he was missing an ear, he was completely smooth whereas William still showed all the rough spots where he’d been chipped and chiseled, the nicks and grooves of his creation.

“Oh, okay. Ready to go?”

“Yeah. Come with me and I’ll show you the shop real quick. I’d take you to the quarry, but the walking trail is too steep for crutches. We could take the road and drive, but I’d rather show you when you can stand right at the edge.” He smiled. “You get a better idea of how massive it is that way.”

Gabriel locked up his shop, picking up a canvas bag he must have left by the door while I was looking around. I followed him back around to the front of the shop. A bell jingled when he pushed the door open and he held it for me as I limped in after him. Classical music played softly through speakers somewhere in the walls, and there was a fountain to my left that had water cascading down a pane of glass, contributing even further to the relaxing atmosphere.

The whole interior was done in stone from the floor to the walls, and tall counters with granite tops held small samples and catalogues. A couple sat in stools at one of the counters, arguing softly about two different samples.

There were doors on the wall to my right that must lead to offices. Just as I had the thought, one of the doors opened, and Dominic walked out wearing khakis and a button-down shirt and tie. His expression, first one of casual ease, morphed into distaste when he saw me. He gave me one short, quick nod. I fidgeted on my crutches, feeling even more ridiculous than I had in Gabriel’s studio. Feeling damaged—worthless—I had nothing to combat Dominic’s blatant dislike of me.

The phone rang, and Gabriel reached over the counter and grabbed it, nodding at Dominic in greeting. “Dalton Morgan Quarry.” He listened for a few seconds as I attempted to look everywhere except at Dominic as Gabriel told whoever was calling that they’d be open until five and it was best to make an appointment.

The bell over the door rang again, and the man I’d met earlier in the week, George, walked in, a kind smile on his face when he saw Gabriel and me.

“Okay, let me write that down …” Gabriel walked around to the front of the desk and grabbed a pen, then spoke into the phone again as I said hello to George. Gabriel hung up and walked back around the desk.

“I see you’re showing Ellie around.”

Gabriel smiled and leaned against the counter in that way of his I’d come to know—so casually masculine. “Yup. I needed some supplies to finish up the cherub for the French museum. I should have him mostly done in the next few days.”

George chuckled. “Him.”

My heart felt heavy at the mention of William being almost completed. Then he’d be shipped away. Gone. Get a grip, Ellie. I fidgeted on my crutches again. A look of concern came over Gabriel’s face, and he moved to my side. “I think it’s been enough of an outing for today.”

Dominic made a sound of disgust in his throat and rolled his eyes. I blushed with humiliation, moving away from Gabriel. “I’m fine,” I murmured, trying to stand as straight as possible without stressing my rib cage.

George’s eyes moved slowly from Dominic to me and back to Dominic, his lips pursing and his forehead furrowing. When he looked back to me again, his forehead smoothed and he smiled before saying, “I gotta get back to the quarry anyway. But I’ll see you later at dinner?”

“Dinner?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Gabriel interjected. “Chloe is going to make dinner for all of us. Insisted on it, actually. She’s sort of … enthusiastic.” He chuckled but there was warmth in his eyes.

I looked away and nodded. “Then yes, I’ll see you all at dinner.” Dominic shot me one last disapproving look before Gabriel led me from the building, helping me up into the truck and driving home.

Home.

No, Ellie. Don’t start thinking of Gabriel’s home as your own. That would be very, very stupid. Don’t do it.

And yet I suspected I already had.

* * *

Chloe and Gabriel spent another several hours together in the living room as I tried to keep myself occupied in my room.

I called the shop about my car and was told it was ready to be picked up. Ricky had heard about me being in the hospital and generously offered to keep it stored there until I could get over to pay for it, which was a relief considering at the moment, I didn’t have a dollar to my name. It wasn’t as if I’d be able to drive for a while anyway.

I called my landlady and explained my circumstances, and though she seemed annoyed, she agreed to give me an extension on paying my rent. I had another month and then I’d owe her two months’ worth. I sighed, having no idea how I’d come up with it, but deciding to cross that bridge when I came to it. I was used to juggling financially—I’d been seemingly doing it all my life.

I still hadn’t called Rodney to find out the state of my job, but that could be put off for another day. He was well aware of my circumstances. Not that I’d received as much as a get-well card from him. He was probably pissed that I’d inconvenienced business by getting beat up in his parking lot and causing the police and local media to swarm the building. If there was anything men who frequented strip clubs disliked, it was a bright light and a news camera being turned their way.

At the thought of the clients at the Platinum Pearl, anxiety streaked through my body. Sooner rather than later, I’d have to go there and get back to work. I wondered if Kayla was right, though … wondered if Rodney would let me bartend, not just for a little while, but as a job change. If I studied, I could learn how to mix drinks. Couldn’t I?

Outside my door, the buzz of conversation could be heard. Today they weren’t laughing. Today their conversation sounded hushed and intimate. I pictured their heads bent close together as Chloe learned all the deepest secrets in Gabriel’s heart, those soulful eyes focused on her pretty face. I got up and turned on the bathroom fan, keeping the door open. I didn’t want to hear them. And yet … the envy I felt knowing Chloe was hearing all Gabriel’s most private thoughts rather than me caused an ache to settle in my chest.

You could ask him, Ellie. If you were brave enough, you could ask him to share with you, too.

But then he’d want you to share your secrets as well, a small voice whispered.

A little before five, a knock sounded at my door, and I opened it to find Chloe there. Her smile was radiant. “Hi!”

“Hi, Chloe.”

“I don’t know if Gabriel mentioned that I was going to cook dinner here tonight?”

“Yes, he did. It’s very nice of you.”

She waved her hand in the air. “I’m happy to. I’d have taken them out, but I want you to be as comfortable as possible and so I thought a home-cooked meal would cover all the bases.”

“You’re very kind—”

“And I was hoping you’d keep me company? You don’t have to help if you don’t want to, but I’d love to get to know you a little better. I’ll get you set up on a chair if you can’t stand for long.”

“Oh, um …” Me? Why would she want to get to know me?

She looked at me so hopefully. “Please?”

“Okay.”

That exuberant grin spread over her face again. “Awesome.”

I sat at the island on one of the stools as Chloe unpacked the bag of groceries on the counter that she must have brought with her when she arrived.

Gabriel came in the kitchen and took us in, his eyes lingering on me for a moment before he turned to Chloe. “You sure you’re okay doing this? We could just order takeout.”

“Gosh, no. I’m so happy you’re letting me cook for you. Honestly, Gabriel, after all you’re doing for me, a home-cooked meal is the very least I can do. Don’t deprive me of showing my gratitude. It wouldn’t be nice of you.” She shot him a teasing smile.

He chuckled. “All right, then. Thank you.” He turned back to me. “You good?” His eyes were soft as he seemed to assess how I was sitting, where my leg was propped, his gaze like a warm ray of sunshine washing over me.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Okay. I’m going to do a little yard work while you two are in here. I’ve been neglecting this place, and the weeds are taking over.”

“Six o’clock,” Chloe called as he left the kitchen.

“I’ll be here,” he called back.

Chloe turned her smiling face to me, halting in her work. “He’s really … God, he’s just extraordinary, isn’t he?”

Extraordinary. Oh yes, he is that. I nodded. “He is,” I murmured.

Chloe cocked her head, studying me. “I have to admit, when I first talked to him on the phone, I couldn’t help wondering if he was single.” Oh. There was a small, strange, sinking feeling inside me. “But now, seeing the way he looks at you …”

My eyes snapped to hers. “Oh, no. He’s just … we’re only friends, I mean.”

If we see each other naked again …

A warm blush moved up my neck at the memory of the words. Chloe shook her head, a smile tipping her lips. “Oh no, Ellie. The way he looks at you is many things, but friendly is not one of them. He has feelings for you. And if that man has feelings for you, you must be someone very special.”

Just as quickly as joy had run down my spine at her declaration that Gabriel had feelings for me, so now did insecurity and a sense of defeat. I laughed, a humorless sound. “I’m no one special, I can assure you of that.”

Chloe turned, setting a handful of vegetables that she had just gathered from the refrigerator onto the counter. A look of alarm came over her face, and she took my hands in hers across the island, startling me. “Oh, Ellie, I barely know you and I can already tell that’s not true.” She grinned and squeezed my hands before letting go. I couldn’t help the affection that flushed my cheeks at her compliment. Girls had never been kind to me, and I felt strangely shy. She was everything I wasn’t; she was friendly and open, quick to smile and easy to laugh. Pure. Sweet.

“So what do you do?”

Here we go. I watched as Chloe searched for something in a few cabinets, pulling out a cutting board and placing it on the counter. “I’m a stripper.” I stilled as I waited for her reaction.

She halted what she was doing, her eyes widening slightly. “Are you really? God, I’ve always had this secret fantasy about trying that. It must be liberating to feel so free with your body.” She grabbed an onion and started chopping it.

I frowned. “Um, no, actually. I’ve never thought of it that way. I don’t enjoy it. I just sort of … fell into it, I guess.” I sighed. “I won’t say it wasn’t a choice because we all make choices, right?”

Chloe glanced up at me, pausing only momentarily in her chopping. “I suppose, but ‘choice’ is such a loaded word, isn’t it?”

I turned that over, putting it away to think about later. “I suppose.”

“Anyway, if you didn’t like stripping, maybe your accident will be one of those things that you look back on later as the catalyst that changed things for the better. You know, the thing that motivated you to take a different path.”

You’re going the wrong way. You must turn back, sweetness.

I stared at her, thinking about how confident she sounded, how neat and tidy her conclusions were. If you’re not happy, just make a change. No problem. Easy peasy. Those were the conclusions of someone who had never really struggled, didn’t know that it wasn’t only fists that broke you and beat you bloody—no, life itself could do that just as easily, maybe more so. She didn’t understand the soul-deep agony of loss, of being left behind, terrorized, cast out, taken advantage of. She didn’t realize that your heart could hurt so badly you just wanted to curl up inside yourself and never come out again. And yet I couldn’t resent her for that. I envied her for it.

“It wasn’t exactly an accident. Three men assaulted me.”

The knife Chloe was using clattered to the granite counter. “Oh, Ellie! That’s absolutely awful. Were they arrested?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

She looked relieved. “Oh thank goodness.” Still she shook her head, a look of compassionate distress on her face. “God, you’ve had it rough. I’m so sorry.”

She picked up the knife and held it out, wielding it as if she intended to use it as a weapon. “I’d like to be left alone in a room with this knife and the so-called men who would attack a woman. I’d carve them up.” She swiped the knife through the air, and I felt a momentary twinge of shock before a laugh erupted from my throat. It was so strange to see this sweet, innocent-looking girl wielding a chef’s knife as if she were a pretty version of Zorro.

She stopped, the fierce look dissolving into a grin as she laughed with me. I bent forward, gasping for air, my ribs hurting with the hilarity moving through me. “Ouch.” I laughed again.

After a few minutes we collected ourselves, and Chloe went back to chopping, a few stray chuckles still bursting forth here and there.

“Is there another cutting board under there?”

“Yes, hold on.” Chloe grabbed another cutting board, a knife, and a basket of mushrooms and put them in front of me, and I began slicing.

“So, Gabriel said your paper’s about kids who were abducted and then came home?” I asked after a minute.

“Yes, specifically, it’s about the long-term psychological effects.” She tilted her head. “The majority of my research has been done using case studies, so I was really lucky that Gabriel agreed to be interviewed.” She shook her head, laying her knife down, and took the chopped onion in her hands and threw it in the large skillet on the stovetop. She turned back, grabbing a paper towel and wiping her hands. “I have to say, I expected someone … different. Not so well adjusted, so …”

“Solid,” I supplied.

Her eyes met mine and she smiled. “Yes. Solid. That’s a good word to describe him. There’s something so amazingly strong about him. Remarkable, really.” We worked in silence for a minute. “I’m fascinated by the reasons one person breaks while another who’s experienced a similar trauma survives and thrives. The mind is such a fascinating thing—and there are always so many variables. I could discuss psychology all day long.”

“So you want to be a psychologist when you graduate?”

She laughed. “You’re probably thinking the same thing my dad says. How will this girl stay quiet long enough to actually listen to anyone talk about their problems?” She grinned as I shook my head.

“No, I wasn’t thinking that.”

She laughed again. “You wouldn’t be wrong if you were. I like to chat. But I actually do love to listen, too.” She gave me a kind smile. “So if you ever need a listening ear, I’m available, and would love it if you considered me a friend.”

I smiled, continuing the chopping. We chatted easily as Chloe cooked and I took on the few prep errands I could do while seated.

Gabriel had come into the house a little earlier and gone to his room. He entered the kitchen just as Chloe was on her tiptoes reaching for a platter to use for the chicken marsala, which smelled heavenly. Gabriel had obviously just showered—his hair was still slightly wet, and he had changed clothes. He stepped up to Chloe and grabbed the platter easily, smiling as he handed it to her. She gazed up at him with adoration as she laughed softly. “Thanks.”

Gabriel looked at me. “You okay?”

I nodded, and when I looked at Chloe she was watching us, a smile on her face.

Gabriel brought the dishes into the dining area, and I laid them out at five places as Chloe finished the dinner preparations. As I was placing the utensils on napkins, the front door opened and Dominic came in, greeting us shortly and saying he was going to go to his room to change. He shot me one last cold stare before turning away. The small happy bubble I’d been in decreased in size, and for a moment I wanted nothing more than to return to my room and stay there for the rest of the night. But I took a deep breath, not willing to ruin the dinner Chloe had worked so hard to prepare, and continued setting the table, limping from place setting to place setting.

The doorbell rang and Gabriel opened the door to George, who came in with a warm greeting and a smile.

We all sat down to eat, and for the first ten minutes of the meal, everyone chatted and complimented Chloe on the delicious food. It was the first family meal I’d ever experienced, and even though I knew I wasn’t welcome by Dominic, I soaked in the experience, watching as everyone laughed and enjoyed each other. I stole a glance at Gabriel sitting next to me. He was relaxed in his chair, one arm slung casually over the back of mine, participating easily in the conversation, and when he caught my eye and smiled, I blushed and looked away, feeling as if I’d been caught doing something I shouldn’t do.

He has feelings for you. And if that man has feelings for you, you must be someone very special … I’d wondered why he was caring for me, why he might like me. Could I accept that maybe he just did? Could it be that simple? Did he see things in me I didn’t even know were there? Things that made me good and lovable?

You’re such a good, smart girl, Ellie. You don’t forget that, okay? No matter what, you don’t forget that.

The possibility surprised me, beckoned to me, opened up a well of hope within that caused a fluttering, something I’d thought long dead and buried coming to life. It felt as if a lure were dangling before me, something shiny and beautiful, and all I had to do was reach out and grab it.

The conversation droned on around me, the sound of Chloe’s light laughter ringing in small bursts. I followed some of it, what they were saying, but mostly I just watched as they interacted, the casual ease with which they all related.

I watched both George and Dominic smile at Chloe, captivated by her charm, and wondered what it’d feel like to be so happy-go-lucky all the time, wondered what it’d feel like to laugh so effortlessly. How good would it feel to be looked at the way the men at the table were looking at Chloe? With smiles and warm gazes. I smiled at her cheerful radiance, too, laughing softly at a story she was telling about a professor she had.

Under the table, I felt Gabriel’s hand as he laced his fingers through mine, his touch gentle and solid just like him, and goose bumps broke out on my arm. Oh, my heart seemed to sigh. Our hands linked together in a way that made me feel we’d been created together, that every part of his body might contain a place just for me, a place I’d fit like no other. As if we’d been sculpted with the other in mind. Silly idea. Fantastical even. Not me at all. And yet I wouldn’t dismiss it because the thought itself felt too good. I was flushed with happiness, and a sense of sudden belonging washed through me, dancing in my veins. When was the last time I’d felt as if I belonged anywhere? Long ago … so very long ago.

I looked over at Gabriel, and he was watching me, his eyes soft and his lips tipped up in a sweet smile.

“How’s your leg, Ellie?”

Hearing my name snapped me from my thoughts, and I blinked as I moved my gaze from Gabriel to Dominic, who’d asked the question. He tilted his beer back and took a long swallow. Two empty beer bottles were on the table next to the one he set down. I noticed a shine to his eyes, a slight drag to his words. I knew that look. He was drunk, or if not drunk, getting there.

“Better,” I said warily. Something mean came into his eyes. I recognized it, had seen it all my life, knew it like the feel of the stripper pole sliding between my hands—familiar yet unwanted. I braced myself for the cruelty I’d come to expect from men like him.

He nodded slowly. “Good. Can’t lap dance on only one good leg. Or can you? Maybe some men enjoy that kind of thing. You’d know.”

My lungs felt suddenly constricted, and I looked down at my plate, my appetite gone. Around me the conversation died.

“Dominic,” Gabriel said. A warning.

“What?” Dominic asked, taking another swallow of beer. “She is a stripper, right? I’m sorry, was it a secret? I was only inquiring about her ability to do her job. She’ll have to go back to work at some point, right?”

“Dominic, that’s enough. You’re being inappropriate and you know it,” George said.

I knew George was defending me out of kindness, but it embarrassed me, made it more obvious what Dominic was doing. Made me feel as if I should be humiliated by his words. Whereas moments ago I’d felt as if I belonged, now I felt separate, apart, my shameful differences highlighted for everyone to discuss. “Really, it’s okay, George,” I said softly, my gaze not leaving Dominic. “Dominic’s right. I can’t dance with only one good leg.”

I let go of Gabriel’s hand, linking my own under the table. Chloe had paused, and when I glanced at her briefly, I noticed her eyes move between all of us. Dismay flickered in her expression, before her lips set in a thin line.

Dominic held his hands up. “Sorry, didn’t mean any offense. Forgive me, Ellie, if I embarrassed you.”

Our eyes held for another fraction of a second before I looked away, but not before I’d seen the gleam of victory in his eyes. He wasn’t sorry. He’d succeeded in what he’d set out to do: make me realize how much I didn’t belong here, not in this house and not with Gabriel. I felt absurd and clownish as if he’d read the secret thoughts in my head, knew the hopeful wanderings of my mind, and made it clear how stupid I was to let myself even entertain such things. I’d let down my guard and he’d taken advantage. Why should it be surprising? Only it was because here I felt … safe. Less alone.

“I hope everyone saved room for dessert,” Chloe said in that breezy singsong way she had, obviously trying to change the subject and the sudden uncomfortable mood. “Ellie and I made something special.”

“I didn’t realize you had so many talents, Ellie,” Dominic said. His smile was immediate, and he posed the remark as if he was trying to make up for embarrassing me a few minutes ago with a compliment. But I sensed the mockery underneath his words as if he knew very well I had no talents and was attempting again to remind me and to ensure everyone in the room saw me just as he did. I shot him a fake half smile, shifting in my seat.

Chloe brought out the brownie sundaes we’d made, and there were compliments all around as everyone ate them. I’d lost my appetite and just wanted dinner to be over, so the second I could, I rose, gathering a few dirty cloth napkins and some napkin rings.

“Ellie, you sit down. You’re not doing any work,” Chloe said.

“I can manage a few things,” I said, picking up my crutches and moving toward the kitchen, not wanting to feel physically incompetent on top of the hollowness Dominic’s comments evoked in me. Even if my “help” was pitifully minor.

Gabriel stood. “You women cooked. We men will clean.”

“I can’t argue with that.” Chloe laughed. “Ellie, let’s go hang out in the living room.”

Gabriel took the things I was holding out of my hands, trying to catch my eye. I looked away, smiling at Chloe. “Okay, let me just use the bathroom and I’ll meet you in there.”

I turned, just needing a few minutes to myself, needing to rally my mood.

“Ellie—” Gabriel said, but I pretended I didn’t hear him, turning in the other direction.

I went to my room and sat down on the bed, taking a deep breath. Why did I feel this way? Only because I had entertained thoughts of … belonging and was brought back down to earth. But that was good. Letting my thoughts wander there had been dangerous. Really, Dominic had done me a favor with the reminder. After a few minutes I headed back out to the living room.

I stopped right outside my door, standing where I had the slip of a view of the kitchen. I leaned against the wall, watching Gabriel as he laughed at something someone said, grabbing a dish from someone’s hand and placing it in the dishwasher.

I heard both George’s and Chloe’s voices. They were obviously all helping clean up. Not just the men at all. Those who fit here were cleaning up. And the scene looked perfect, just as it should. Gabriel laughed again, tipping his head back slightly, and I had that same sense again about this being where he belonged—where he was calm and happy and at ease.

My smile faded as Dominic stepped out of the hall bathroom, stopping where I stood. His eyes moved to where I’d been watching Gabriel in the kitchen.

“He didn’t always laugh like that.”

I stilled, looking back to Gabriel. He’d moved to the right, and I could only see the tiniest sliver of him now.

“When he first came home, he was so … skittish.” He paused. “We were overjoyed to have him back, of course, but he wasn’t the same. He’d always been this kid who did everything well. School, sports. Everyone loved him, you know. He just had this … something that everyone flocked to—a sort of confidence rare in a grown man, much less in a kid. In the last couple of years, he’s started to get that back. And I’ll be damned if you take that away from him, Crystal. He’s suffered enough—he deserves the best in life. He deserves to have the life meant for him and nothing less. Just because he’s always had a soft spot for taking in strays doesn’t mean I’m going to let you make this permanent. You got me?”

Crystal.

He thought he was insulting me by using the name, but hearing it gave me strength, reminded me that I had a shield.

I shot Dominic my most flirtatious, insincere smile, and he looked momentarily startled before he narrowed his eyes, his gaze shooting to my mouth.

He rubbed his bottom lip with his index finger. “I see what he sees in you, though, I’ll give you that. You have the kind of beauty that causes a man to make stupid choices. Causes a man to lose control of himself.”

“Is that right, sugar? Sounds like you know something about stupid choices.”

His eyes narrowed even more as he looked me up and down. “The difference is, Crystal, I can afford to make them. Gabriel can’t.” He paused again. “You know why he went to that strip club you work at, right?”

I looked away, refusing to answer him, refusing to let him see I was shaking inside. “He wanted Chloe, but he was too damn insecure to make a move. He’d stare at her picture, talk to her on the phone, get all dreamy eyed. He only needed you for practice, Crystal. It was her he wanted. Then you went and got yourself beaten up, and Gabriel kicked into rescuer mode.”

My heart stuttered in my chest, and I focused on keeping my breathing even, my expression unaffected, not willing to let him know how much his words hurt. How they were like a knife stabbing me in the gut. Because I knew Dominic wasn’t lying.

You can help me practice being touched by a woman.

He’d told me the truth himself. Only it wasn’t just a woman, it was Chloe. Chloe with her pretty face and her vibrant personality. Chloe. Of course he would want Chloe.

Not me. He didn’t want me, and he never really had. Or if he did, it was only because he still wasn’t completely comfortable with a woman, not quite ready to make a move on someone innocent and sweet like Chloe. How perfect: I was live-in practice. Someone to get close to behind closed doors, under tables. He’d grown comfortable with me because I didn’t really matter. I’d go back to the Platinum Pearl, and his relationship with Chloe would grow into something more and …

I smiled at Dominic again. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m no one’s permanent anything.”

He made a sound that was half agreement, half disgust, studying me as if trying to figure something out. He wobbled slightly, catching himself with a hand on the wall next to me, boxing me in. I met his eyes, refusing to look away, refusing to let him see how hurt I was, how unnerved by his closeness. He ran a finger down my cheekbone in the same way Gabriel had done the other night. Only this time it felt cold, hateful. This time I wanted to knock the hand caressing me away rather than turn into it. I lifted my chin.

“So beautiful … makes a man want to do such stupid, stupid things …” And then he moved in so quickly I was caught off guard. His mouth crashed down on mine, and I made a surprised squeak. His tongue darted into my mouth, and he pinned me against the wall, pressing his groin to my stomach. I almost brought a crutch up to beat at him, but the weight of his words crushed me just like his body was doing.

He only needed you for practice …

You can help me practice being touched by a woman.

I went still, letting him kiss me, letting his tongue invade my mouth and his hips grind against me, not caring. Not caring at all. Or at least that’s what I told myself. There was a crack in the ceiling and I focused on that … my mind drifting.

Dominic’s face was suddenly torn from mine with a wet-sounding pop, and I gasped, brought back to the moment, pressing my back into the wall, trying to rein in my mind from where it had started to wander. I turned my face away, clenching my eyes shut, expecting a blow of some sort.

“What the hell are you doing?” Gabriel’s voice, filled with anger. I opened my eyes, opening my mouth to respond. What was I doing? I … I …

“Jesus, relax.” Dominic was stumbling backward and Gabriel was standing still, one hand fisted at his side, one hand just letting go of the back of Dominic’s shirt. Dominic stumbled a few more steps, tilting forward. “I was just trying to figure out what makes her so damn appealing.”

It took me a second to register that Gabriel had been addressing Dominic, not me.

Gabriel’s chest was heaving as if he was having trouble catching his breath. Before I could even pull myself away from the wall where Dominic had had me pressed, Gabriel slammed his fist into Dominic’s face.

I heard a feminine scream. Chloe had just rushed into the hallway, George following her. Dominic reeled backward, hitting the wall behind him, his nose spraying blood as he yelled out a curse.

“Get out of my house,” Gabriel practically growled.

Dominic looked up at him, an expression of shock and deep hurt passing through his eyes. “Can’t you see what she’s doing to us?” he yelled.

“It’s you who’s doing this to us,” Gabriel shot back.

“Goddammit, Dom,” George muttered, pulling Dominic off the wall and practically dragging him toward the kitchen. Dominic followed George willingly, his hands over his bleeding nose.

Chloe looked between Gabriel and me, her face filled with shock and confusion. She seemed to be weighing what to do. After a second, she turned and followed George and Dominic, obviously having decided it was best to leave Gabriel and me alone.

My heart was hammering, a whooshing sound filling my head. Oh God, how did this happen? Gabriel turned to me, and an agonized look came over his face. He clenched his eyes shut for a second and then opened them. “Eloise …”

His voice made me react. I pulled myself straight, feeling horrified, the situation crashing down on me. Oh God, oh God. “Eloise,” Gabriel repeated, and his voice was a hoarse whisper filled with pain. His bloody fist was clenched at his side. An avenging angel. My heart pounded more harshly in my chest, and for a moment the ache was so intense I thought I might cry.

I shook my head, just needing to get away, away from his tormented eyes, away from the shame, away from the heart-wrenching despair coursing through my body at who I was and would always be. “Please,” I said, not knowing exactly what I was asking for. Time? Space? Distance? Help? All of those?

I turned toward my room and hobbled as quickly as possible to it. I saw Gabriel reach out a hand, but I moved away and it dropped, his head lowering as well. I closed the door behind me, sagging against it, wanting to disappear, wanting just to melt into nothing.

I limped to my bedside table, where I picked up my phone, texting Kayla five words:

Will you pick me up?