CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
GRAY
When Kate said she was sorry and leaned in to kiss me, it was like she was saying sorry for giving me the hottest, most shocking moment of my life.
It certainly felt that way.
The first few seconds was me being frozen in shock the moment her lips pressed against mine, the touch soft and unmoving. Then she slowly moved them, gentle and almost caressing, like she was taking into consideration everything I confessed to her earlier—that I didn’t get hard unless I was in a fast driving car, and that I never had sex before. It was almost laughable how she interpreted it, considering I had probably gotten more action than the average man.
And I certainly knew how to kiss.
It caught me off guard because it didn’t feel like play acting this time. My blood was pounding, I wasn’t thinking straight.
And so I kissed her back.
It was safe to say that was a mistake…except it didn’t feel like one. It felt like heaven and hell at the same time as I cajoled her to open her mouth for me, sinking myself in her taste when she finally, surprisingly did. She tasted as good as she smelled, and the combination made me heady and intoxicated at the same time.
She was chocolate sin.
I delved deeper, kissing her harder and slipping my tongue in. A gasp came out of her throat, but I swallowed it and explored her thoroughly, not about to miss a single inch. She didn’t protest, instead holding on to me like her life depended on it. Her fingers tightened around my shoulders before eventually loosening and sliding up to settle at the nape of my neck. It tingled and burned at the same time, and I realized the attraction I’d been feeling and tamping down for a while now snuck up on me.
And there was no stopping it anymore.
I teased her. I tasted her some more, then almost groaned when her tongue finally, shyly came out. It tangled with mine, the simmering heat between us burning higher and higher until it turned to fire. Instinctively, I pulled her closer, wanting more—wanting to touch her right then and there, damn all the consequences.
Kate sighed into the kiss, wiggling closer against me. And then something happened that never happened before.
My cock went achingly hard.
She stilled. I stilled as well, unable to control my reaction and my shock. Slowly, we both pulled away, our breathing erratic and over each other. Our gazes clashed, and I knew mine was as heated as hers.
And as shocked.
“Gray…” she started, her voice throaty and making me grow harder against the side of her thigh. Fuck. I gritted my teeth, and she gasped. “I thought you said it only happened in cars.”
“This is a first time it hasn’t,” I bit out, resting my head on her shoulder. I wasn’t quite ready to move, but I wasn’t quite ready to let her go, either. “You’re the first woman…” I looked up.
She looked absolutely speechless at that confession. Kate’s hand slid back down my shoulders, and she visibly tried to steady her breathing. I did the same, though my blood was still pounding and my fingers were itching to do something—something naughty and was bound to get me in trouble.
I needed a distraction.
“I’m sorry,” I finally said. “I shouldn’t have…”
She swallowed, and my gaze was riveted to her throat for a moment before I dragged it back up.
Damn it.
“I started it,” she said stubbornly.
Our eyes met again—but this time, there was more determination mirrored in hers. I broke off the connection first.
“We should find a distraction,” I said.
“That’s a very good idea,” she replied. She cleared her throat.
Parted her lips.
My hands tightened around her waist for the beat of a second—and then, slowly, I was sliding her off my lap and placing my hands in my lap over my erection to cover it up. The awkwardness set in almost instantly, combating my hard-on, but it was coupled with the need to pull her on my lap and grind against her until I found release. I was aching so much, it was insane.
I fought it off. Then I did my best to act as normal as possible, not wanting this to be the end of our friendship. A quick sweep of the room determined that Darla was no longer around, which was a relief. But I couldn’t stand up yet, so I signaled a waiter and took more glasses, handing one to Kate.
“Thanks,” she said.
Her voice was steady. My heartbeat wasn’t, so I drank the champagne and let it sink in, then grabbed another and polished that off, too. By the time I was on my fifth glass, Kate was on her fourth, and she volunteered to grab some snacks. I nodded my head and watched her go, unable to take my gaze off even if I tried.
I finally managed a breath of relief when she was gone, using it to my advantage to keep myself steady. I thought of random, boring things, feeling my erection soften bit by bit until it was entirely gone. It was ironic how I would have easily been rejoicing if that erection happened with any other woman—but with Kate, all I could feel on top of the erection was a horror, not because I wasn’t turned on by her, but because being turned on by her was a surefire way of destroying whatever peaceful living conditions we had.
Then there was our friendship, which had come to matter to me.
And then there was Paul.
Fuck. It.
Thankfully, I was calm enough to act pleasant again by the time Kate got back with a plate of desserts and hors d’oeuvres. The combination was so weird but surprisingly delicious, and we balanced the plate between us as we still sat pretty close to each other and tried to go back to chatting about random things. I tentatively teased her until a smile slid to her face, and she began teasing me back.
Things felt calm on the surface, and we tried to maintain it. When it felt like our rhythm together was back, we got off the couch and stood up to roam around again. We ate more food. We mingled, and I introduced Kate to old faces and met new ones. I wasn’t necessarily a sociable person, but Kate was so naturally friendly that it became easier to get into conversations that didn’t revolve around racing and women. I found myself opening up to people more.
At the same time, I found myself looking at Kate in a new light—one I wasn’t sure was even safe for us.
But we kept pretending, keeping it at a minimal now that Darla was gone. We enjoyed our time there, and Kate’s genuine appreciation and awe for the luxurious party made me see everything differently as well. It was odd and refreshing at the same time, and I found myself getting addicted to it.
Kate kept steadily drinking champagne, which she handled better than the margaritas. I watched her out of the corner of my eye the whole time, feeling my throat grow dry every now and then and downing more drinks in the process. By the time midnight hit, we’d settled back on the couch, just sinking into each other and watching the crowd. I had my arm around her, just absorbing her in, and a part of me wanted to stay there for a long time.
But I forced myself to pull away.
“We need to go,” I said.
Kate, who had her head on my shoulder and was looking a bit sleepy, lifted her body straight. She nodded, and I breathed her in.
“Yeah, let’s.”
*****
I wasn’t drunk enough to forget everything that was happening at the moment, but I was drunk enough to not risk driving at this time of the night—so I left my car at the party and we took the car service instead, where Kate continued to place her head on my shoulder and promptly dozed off. I woke her up when we arrived in front of my apartment building, then ushered her out of the car and guided her to the elevator.
The elevator door closed once we were inside, and she leaned on the wall, looking flushed. Her lashes fluttered sleepily, and she eyed me with those coffee eyes that had the heat coming back again, despite me trying not to think about it.
“I had a really good time,” she murmured, smiling. It was a soft, sleepy smile, and the urge to kiss it out of her was so strong that I had to step back and lean on the opposite wall.
I placed my hands behind me and fisted them, keeping still. But I kept watching her, and she kept watching me. In her yellow dress, she looked like some beautiful dream—one I wasn’t quite ready for. She was like smoke that just came, smothering me with feelings I wasn’t quite ready for, either.
There was no getting around it.
I was intensely attracted to her, and there was nothing more I wanted than to reach out and touch her—to feel that soft skin, to taste those lips again.
To hear her moan out my name.
But there were consequences to such things, and those consequences were big. I knew right then that if I did touch her, I would be hard as a rock once more and no longer able to contain it as I was before back at the party. We were alone. We were adults with chemistry between us, one that was mind-blowing and threatening to consume us.
We were friends first, and I was going to do my best to keep it that way.
And that meant I had to rein the desire in.
I looked at her. Then I smiled, keeping it casual and friendly, eliminating any trace of the desire rushing inside me—the insane, unexplainable want for this sweet yet feisty woman.
Friends first.
“I had a really good time, too.”