CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
KATE
I didn’t realize it had been a month since I moved in with Gray until my brother, Paul, knocked on the door. His surprise was one I hadn’t expected, and I found myself hugging him tight and being hugged back just as tightly. A rush of emotions came over me at the sight of him, and it was only then I realized how much I missed the guy.
When we finally eased back, I hit him on the arm. Paul winced and rubbed it, then grinned. He looked around the place in appreciation, then turned back to me as I ushered him to the kitchen and began to take out some cookies I had.
“This place is pretty impressive,” he commented.
“Isn’t it?” I said. “You just missed Gray, he hits the track in mornings. But he’ll be back late afternoon, I think.”
I was expecting him to be pleased with the news, but Paul simply looked regretful. “Unfortunately, I have a flight at one this afternoon.
My face fell. “Oh.” Then I gave him a bright, determined smile. “In that case, sit down. I’m going to pack you a lunch you’re never going to forget.”
He chuckled, then settled down. I began to prepare the makings of turkey-cheese sandwiches. Then I badgered Paul into sharing details of his police conference with me, particularly some of the cases he handled. While most of these were confidential, Paul trusted me enough to give me some tidbits, and really, it wasn’t the names I was interested in but more the details—particularly the ones about serial killers that resulted in cold cases. It was awful, but it was like watching a train wreck where you simply couldn’t look away.
Time flew. Chuck was wary of him at first, but warmed up to him eventually and eventually sat down beside his leg. By the time I was done preparing the sandwiches and extra cookies in a Tupperware, it was time for Paul to leave. It made me feel sad, but at the same time happy that he managed to drop by even if he was only in the city for a short time. I promised him I was safe here, and Gray was treating me great.
“Enjoy your time here, Kate,” Paul said. “Get out some more. Take some pointers from Gray. That guy knows how to have some fun.”
That he did. I hugged him goodbye. Then I watched as he left, the door closing with a soft click. Feeling thankful he didn’t bring up the gossip in the news. I wonder if he heard the rumors.
*****
“Let’s go out to see a movie.”
The way Gray blinked confirmed that he didn’t expect me to say that. It was actually a surprise for me, too, mostly because I never really bothered to invite him out before. Mostly, it was me visiting the race track to check out his race, secretly enjoying the thrill of the newly-discovered sport and play my so-called part in the girlfriend thing.
After that party kiss and all the hidden emotions it took out of me, we quietly decided to keep the girlfriend thing strictly on a touching basis—an arm on the waist, a hand on his, and the likes. It had worked so far, but there was no denying that something brewed between us and was just waiting to rise to the surface. We were still friends, but we were so careful around each other that we might as well have been tiptoeing. I was tired of it, and I wanted things to be back to normal between us.
I wanted him, too—sometimes so much that it boggled my mind. But I wasn’t going to broach that topic, because Gray didn’t, and he clearly didn’t want to, based on how friendly and casual he was acting. Maybe the kiss was a mistake for him.
“You want to watch a movie?” he asked. He was still standing by the door, as I’d accosted him the moment he came in from practice and didn’t even give him time to step in. I watched him step in now, wearing black jeans, a plain white shirt, and looking so fresh and showered that my mouth watered. I gulped down the thirst and ignored my racing heart.
The man was too handsome for his own good, but I wasn’t going to be beaten down by it.
“I want us to hang out together,” I said stubbornly. “Watch a movie, eat popcorn. As friends do.”
He obviously noticed the way I emphasized the word friends. What he didn’t notice was the tenseness in my body as I prepared for him to reject my invitation.
But Gray tilted his head, placing his small duffel bag beside the door. Then he smiled.
“Let’s.”
*****
The nearest movie theater was way across town and I spent the ride killing time by being extra cheerful and talking nonsense about the movie we were about to watch. It was an action flick, one that was a blockbuster and promised to be full of car chases and shooting bad guys, which I believed was what he needed. Gray was a bit subdued, which had me concerned.
“Is…everything okay?” I asked once I was no longer able to take it. Gray glanced in my direction, then nodded his head.
“Just had a bad practice day,” he said.
Automatically, I placed my hand on his arm. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Nah, its fine. How’s work?”
His arm was so warm, and I had to take my hand away and get back in my lane. I looked ahead and nodded. “It’s great. The client loves my articles and wants to take me on as a permanent writer ahead of time.”
“That’s great,” he murmured, his voice sincere.
“Thanks,” I murmured back.
Silence settled in again, and I did my best to fill it up. Finally, we arrived at the theater, purchased our tickets, and took our seats at the back with a huge tub of popcorn between us. This was the first time in a while we’d sat side by side without any pretending going on or any other eyes on us, and it felt refreshing.
It also felt nerve-wracking. Like we were on a first date.
The movie started and I tried my best to concentrate. Sip on coke, eat some popcorn. React to the gunshots. Laugh at some parts. It was a basic plot really, but with great special effects and it helped ease the nerves slowly. The theater was especially cold, the air conditioner turned up, and soon I found myself shivering while watching some pretty hot make out scenes between the actor and actress.
“You’re cold,” Gray suddenly murmured beside me, his mouth especially close to my ear. I shivered all the more at his closeness, then startled when he pulled the armrest between us up. Without a word, he pulled me closer and wrapped an arm around me. “Better?”
I swallowed. Not only was the cold gone, but a certain heat was spreading inside me, and a delicious tingle that simmered quite pleasantly.
“Better,” I said as calmly as I could.
He re-settled the tub of popcorn between us, and the silence resumed as we continued watching. A few minutes later, I was shivering again and wished I wore jeans instead of thin leggings.
A hand dropped to my knee. Then he began rubbing up and down, his touch strictly purposeful and never breaching the top part of my thigh. All the same, my breath hitched.
“Anything I can do to keep you warm?” he asked innocently.
Kiss me. Touch me. Press against me and let me feel your—
“I’m fine,” I blurted out, my cheeks turning hot. I knew I should leave it as it was and focus on the movie, but everything on the screen became a blur. I noticed Gray’s arms had goosebumps. He must be chilled as well.
Instinctively, my hand went to his knee. It felt so natural. But I felt him freeze all of a sudden, which puzzled me. I glanced at him, watching his face still focused on the screen. Then I looked down.
I froze, too.
There was a very visible bulge underneath his pants—large, larger than I was used to seeing. I gasped, realizing my hand was inches away from it. My fingers itched, and I had to fist them. Oddly enough, the action had the bulge jumping, and I felt his thigh tensing against my touch.
He was aroused.
Something achingly hot pooled in my belly then slid down in between my legs and had me biting my lower lip.
I wanted him bad.
The suddenness of it had panic hitting me in the chest. Before I knew it, I was mumbling an excuse and standing up, then stumbling out of there and into the hallway. I walked away quickly, not stopping until I was nearing the restroom of the theater. I pushed the door open and walked over to the sink, the bright lights illuminating my shocked, pale face.
Footsteps sounded behind me.
“Kate.”
I whirled around, watching with wide eyes as the door opened and in came Gray. He looked lost and just as shocked as I did, but also contrite. We stared at each other, our gazes clashing, and instead of assuring me, it only served to heighten up the emotions inside me—particularly the desire brimming on the surface and threatening to overflow.
“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to find the words to make everything normal again. I could hear the desperation in my tone, and I tried to reel it in. “You should go back and enjoy the movie. I just need a few minutes…”
But instead of going back, Gray stepped forward. I thought he was going to approach me, but he walked over to the space beside me instead. He placed his hands on the edge of the sink tiles, then faced the mirror. Frustration brimmed in his gray eyes.
“I want you,” he said. Just like that.
It wasn’t what I expected him to say, and the words washed over me like electricity, hot and full of charge. I didn’t know what to say other than I wanted him, too, but he was speaking again before I could say it out loud.
“But I want to be your friend so much, and this is killing me,” he continued. “You’re my only female friend, Kate. And Paul…he’s one of the few friends I trust.”
I bit my lip, then looked down. I wrapped my arms around me, suddenly feeling hot and cold at the same time.
“I want to be your friend, too,” I murmured. “And…I definitely felt something when we kissed.”
His hands tightened on the sink tiles. “Damn it.”
“Language,” I whispered.
A choked laugh came out of his throat—one that, frustratingly enough, turned me on. There were only inches of space between us, with the two of us facing opposite directions. The tension could have been cut with a knife; it was that thick. But we didn’t move out of respect, out of propriety.
“We can go back to our seats,” he finally said. “Keep the armrest between us, and just…be friends.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched his hands tighten on the sink some more, and my thoughts drifted to how it would tighten around my waist—on how those fingers would cruise all over and touch every inch of my skin. My breath caught in my throat, and my body ached.
Realization slammed through me like a rock breaking glass, so abrupt.
“Friends turned lovers are still friends,” I found myself saying.
There was a distinct stilling of Gray’s body beside me. Slowly, I looked up. I waited for him to meet my gaze.
When it finally did, the arousal I felt earlier hit me with an intense blast at the desire I saw brimming in his. Then I was moving forward and standing on tiptoe.
And I was pulling him towards me, consequences be damned.