I woke up slowly, stretching like a cat. I had to giggle a bit at the analogy. Late morning sunlight streamed in stripes across the wrecked bed. I sat up, feeling sore in places I normally didn’t feel or think about at all. Mute had reached for me several times in the night, making love to me tenderly each time, bringing me to a fulfillment I’d never experienced before. Just recalling the way he touched me, as if I was a treasure he’d found, brought a warm glow to my middle. I read the note he left me about him attending the biker church meeting. I knew it was a serious meeting, and the club would need as much support as it could get.

I went into the bathroom to do my business and take a shower. There was only one towel, slightly damp from Mute’s shower earlier. The soap and shampoo was also his and smelled very masculine. I inhaled the scent, and couldn’t help but break out in a goofy grin, like a teenager experiencing her first crush. He had brought along a couple of extra changes of clothing, and some of my personal toiletries, so I had my own shampoo, body wash, and toothbrush.

I got under the warm spray, just letting it run over my head and face while I leaned against the cream-colored tiles. My thoughts were a jumbled mess. Part of me was thrilled, influenced by the rose-colored glasses of new romance. The dream of husband, kids, and a white picket fence around a cozy house was something I’d thought I would never have, and in truth, wasn’t exactly the future I could envision with a biker. But the reality was, this club was a family, solid and loyal to each other, something else I’d thought I would never have, but was more real to me than the Hollywood version of a happy family. Someone would always have my back. I wanted it. I wanted it bad.

Part of me was scared to death that this was all a dream, an illusion that I would never really fit into, one that would disappear as soon as Mute decided he wasn’t interested anymore. I didn’t know what to expect, and the uncertainty was killing me. I couldn’t be invisible anymore. Mute took care of that last night. People knew my name. I’d made friends, good ones. If this was all going away, would I be able to handle going back to being invisible again?

I heard a click and glanced behind me. Church was over. Mute had entered the bathroom and was in the process of stripping off his clothes. My mouth went dry, and I turned around to face him. I didn’t think I could ever get tired of looking at his body. His chest was wide and strong, and he had perfectly delineated abs. Strong arms, strong legs, strong man. His colorful tats stood out on his arms, shoulders, and chest. No piercings, other than his ear. I stared at the juncture of his thighs, where his penis jutted out hard, full, and ready.

He opened the clear glass door and came into the oversized shower stall. He loomed over me, placing his hands on either side of my shoulders. My breasts tightened up, and my sex started pulsing.

“I thought you already showered,” I said, not intimidated by him in the least, my voice husky.

He smiled and let the spray cascade over his head as he leaned in to kiss me. He tasted vaguely of coffee as he slipped his tongue inside my mouth. A moment later his hands were on my breasts, lifting and massaging, brushing his thumbs back and forth over my sensitive nipples.

“Alec,” I sighed, running my hands over his chest, gliding through the water rivulets. I tweaked at his nipples as he pulled at mine. He jumped a little. I became bolder, slicking over his ribs until I had him in my hand, stroking his length, and cupping his heavy sac. The power I had over him was intoxicating, but I was still unsure. I didn’t want to go too far.

I didn’t have to worry for long as he lifted me against the wall and slid inside me. I was sore, but I still wanted him there. He fit me perfectly, as if he belonged there. His hips ground into me, driving me higher, filling me. The cool tiles against my back, the warm water cascading around us, and the hard, hot man inside me was too much. I came hard with his name on my lips.

He kept pushing in and out of my body. When his grip on me tightened, I knew he was close. He jerked out of me and sprayed across my stomach, his cock pulsing with each jet.

We rested for a moment, breathing hard.

“Good morning to you too!” I declared, grinning up at him. He laughed his grunting laugh, and I couldn’t help but think this was mine. Just mine.

He washed my hair, digging his fingers into my scalp. I let him do it, enjoying every minute. He spread conditioner and combed it through, stroking the length. He took my bath puff and washed my body, paying special attention to my breasts and legs. I let him do that too. The water started growing cold and both of us were getting pruney before he got us out and dried us off with the somewhat damp towel. He insisted on wrapping us up in the comforter and getting on the bed, even though my hair was still wet. He laid me on my back, curled next to me. His arms wrapped around me, and those feelings of safety and security did too.

This was foreign to me. Even though I was warm and safe in his arms, I was still unsure and scared. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me physically. Club members protected women and children, no matter what. Even the club women like Donna and Nikki were safe here. What I was scared of was whether I would get too used to this feeling and it would be ripped from me. Mute had done a complete switch from the gruff and growling badass biker to this wonderful, giving, gentle lover, and I was having a hard time figuring out which one was real.

I’d not taken a lot of chances in my life. I’d seen a lot of people get hurt taking risks. Broken spirits, broken hearts, and broken bodies littered those pathways, and I had never wanted that to be me. My foster families took care of me, but I was still always the foster kid, the extra that could be removed if needed. If I ever started to care about those people, I would get hurt when I was moved to a different home and the process began again. Millie was the only one who really took a chance on me. When the social worker came to take me away, she told me that as long as she was alive I had a home to come to no matter what. Did I have that again, here with this club? Here with Mute? Could I risk my heart again?

Mute shifted, picked up his phone from the nightstand and began typing, angling the device so I could watch the words appear on the bright screen.

Mute: Whats wrong?

I hadn’t realized that I had started crying. Big tears were flowing from my eyes, almost blinding me.

“Nothing, I’m good. I’ll be okay in a minute.” My voice quavered.

Mute: Whats making you cry? Talk to me.

“I’m just…. I’ll be fine.” I brushed away the moisture on my face and tried holding my breath to keep it in.

Mute: Talk to me Kat

“Mute, I’m good.” My breath hitched, and I fought harder.

Mute: In this room I’m Alec. Talk to me.

“Please, Alec, I’ll be fine.” I wasn’t fine. I was losing it.

Mute: Baby talk to me. Please.

I didn’t know if it was the “baby” or the “please” that did it, but the dam burst. I let loose, and with a strangled cry, I buried my face against his chest. All the emotions I’d been holding back for months came out in huge sobs. I couldn’t hold it back any longer. Alec held me the entire time, brushing soft kisses against my still-wet head.

When the deluge subsided, he handed me a tissue to wipe my face and streaming nose. I flushed with embarrassment at the mess I left across his chest, and wiped him up as well.

“I’m sorry. I don’t do this a lot.” I waved a hand at my face.

Mute: I know. Its ok. Talk to me.

I hesitated. His eyes were earnest, his caressing hands warm.

“I’m scared,” I blurted. “Not just scared, I’m terrified. So much has happened. The club. Betsey’s bar. Us.” My voice faded. “I don’t know how to handle it all, and I don’t want anyone to get hurt.” Especially me, I silently added.

Mute: We dont need to figure it out today. A lot is happening with the club and with us. Let it lie for now and we can deal when we need to. Betsey needs a lot for awhile so dont worry about work. got plenty of that shit.

I nodded, good for the moment. This was not much different than the way I dealt with most messes in my life. I got through them and survived. If it all disappeared tomorrow, I would still be breathing. Sad and hurt, but breathing.

Mute: don’t cry no more.

When we entered the main room, a few people applauded. I flushed from head to toe, both in embarrassment and in wariness. A quick look at the man standing beside me told me he was no longer the sweet, considerate Alec I’d met back in the bedroom. He was back to being rigid sergeant at arms Mute. Did that also mean he was going to start treating me like a pariah in public again?

He dispelled that thought by pulling my neck back and kissing me thoroughly in front of everyone. I heard the room fill with catcalls, whistles, and more applause as Mute filled my mouth with his tongue. There was no doubt to anyone he had staked his claim on me. I was now officially Mute’s old lady.

My body started pulsing with need, and I was shocked that I could still want more even after a very full night and morning of intimacy. Mute let me go, and gestured to the kitchen where Betsey and Tambre were working.

“Go help. Betsey needs you. I got stuff to do. Text later about plans.”

I smiled, thinking perhaps I could find work as a mind reader. Mute frowned, and I almost giggled as he tried to slip back into his Mute persona. It wouldn’t help his super tough guy image to have me laughing at his familiar scowl.

Betsey was pulling two oblong glass baking dishes filled with steaming breakfast casseroles from the oven, and Tambre was icing several more filled with fresh warm cinnamon rolls. Donna was loading the massive dishwasher with the breakfast dishes the kids had produced.

“I don’t see why we can’t use paper plates,” Donna was complaining when I walked in. She froze when she saw me, imitating a deer in the headlights.

Betsey sighed and explained in an aggravated voice, “For the umpteenth time, the trash cans are already overflowing. A group this size could fill them up twice over with garbage, and we ain’t got no big dumpster up here. Garbage truck can’t make it up the hill, and I ain’t gonna have a club dumpster at the road entrance. Looks tacky! Cain’t make no pile a bags ‘cause we got ‘coons out there that would get into ‘em and make a bigger mess. I gotta take the trash down in the utility truck to the bar dumpster to get rid of it, and I ain’t spending any more time on that than I have to.”

She paused, her eyes growing moist. “Prob’ly all that’s left of my bar is that dumpster. I hope it’s still there.”

I felt my nose tingle in response to her grief, but it was time to break the tension, and I knew just how to do it.

“Morning, Betsey. Looks like I missed the first rush. What can I do to help?”

The older woman’s face lit up and her tears vanished. She put the fragrant baking dishes on the stove and hugged me, her arms still encased in elbow-length oven mitts. “Woo-hoo, girlfriend! ‘Bout damn time you showed up. I was wondering when Mute was gonna let you up for some air! Good for you! Been waiting a sow’s age for that boy to settle down.”

Donna was not happy at Betsey’s exuberance, and Betsey paid no attention to her. She finished loading the dishwasher and left, not bothering to wipe the counters.

Betsey started rattling off random thoughts and plans, her grief forgotten for the moment. “Brick already told me the lockdown will be a soft one since we got people that still have to get families and get up here. Once they do, the compound will get shut down tight at night and no entrance from anyone we don’t know, probably till sometime tomorrow night but maybe longer. Supplies gotta get figured out before then. Brick’ll keep it that way for a few days or until the fire chief confirms what happened. I gotta sit down with Stud and Mute and go over the bar accounts. Stud says he keeps records in something called a cloud. Don’t know what all that mess is, but Stud knows all ‘bout that internet stuff!”

I started wiping the counters that Donna had left. Betsey continued. “I’m glad he’s doing the books. If I had all the paperwork stored at the bar, we’d be in a heap of trouble now! Kat, you kept the inventory records with Stud ‘bout the bar, right?

I nodded and said yes at the same time.

“Good, good. One less hurdle to deal with. Gotta call the insurance guy today. Brick or Stud may have already done it, but I’d best check behind them. I’m gonna need you, Kat, to do more around here if you can. Jonelle’s in rehab again, damn that woman! I gotta keep my grandkids after school every day now for the next six weeks. Maybe longer. I’ll have them here for most of the time, but not on a nightly basis. Homework, school projects, and now Shells is talking ‘bout gymnastics or tumblin’ or dancin’ or some such. Lord have mercy! I’m about to bust wide open!”

She grabbed her back and stretched. I could hear the popping from across the room. “That’s it, I’m done. Tambre, will you go tell the boys this is the last set of breakfast casseroles I’m makin’ today? Come get it or fend for yourself! Me and Kat’s gonna have us a sit down.”

I poured two cups of coffee and added the cream and Splenda I knew Betsey preferred. We settled at a corner bistro table. Betsey sighed loudly as she sat down.

“Ohhh, that’s good! I’ve been on my feet so long this morning I forgot my knees bent this way!”

A twinge of guilt hit me as I remembered what I was doing this morning when I could have been helping the older woman.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier, Betsey. If you need me, all you have to ever do is ask and I’ll be there.”

“No, no, darlin’, you were exactly where you needed to be. I been waitin’ a long time for this. Mute’s a good man and needs a good woman. Not just needs one, he deserves one.”

She leaned back in her chair and I prepared for a wealth of Betsey knowledge.

“I watched most of these here boys grow up, and they feel like my own. When they hurt, I hurt, and when they’re good, I’m good. Mute’s mama was not a good person. She was a drunk, and a mean one. She gave it a real go and did real good when he was a baby, took motherhood serious for a while, but the drink called her back. First time I seen him as a boy, he was wearin’ raggy clothes that didn’t fit him, and he was hungry. Lord have mercy! There’s nothin’ worse in this world than lookin’ at a hungry child. He started comin’ home with Blue after kindergarten, and kept comin’ all through school. I fed him and helped him and it would ‘bout kill me that he still had to go home to her every night.

“Lord only knows what he seen as a child. He grew up angry at the world, and I do mean angry! Used to pick fights at school, mouth off at teachers, make as much trouble as he could. I took him to the doctor to get him stitched up more than once from a fight. Through all that mess, he was always good to me, good to the club. Brick and me wanted to bring him home, but legally he wasn’t ours, and too young to prospect at that time. I wanted to bring in CPS, you know, Child Protective Services, but he didn’t want that. I think he wanted to be in our family whether it was just us or the club family, but he always felt unworthy, like he was dirty or somethin’.

“The minute he turned eighteen, he was out of here. Moved to Atlanta. Brick and me didn’t hear from him for over a year, until the hospital down there called about his throat. I did what I always do for one of my boys. I got in the truck and I brought my boy home. I still remember looking at him in that bed, all sorts of tubes and needles and beeping machines. He was awake and he knew what had happened to him. He knew he would never talk again, but he was alive and by the hair on Jehovah’s balls, he was coming home!”

Betsey’s voice broke as she shared about Mute, just as much her son as Blue. The fierceness of this woman for her family was amazing.

“He’s been here ever since. Mute’s one of the most loyal brothers in the club. He loves long and he loves hard and he loves complete, but he don’t love easy. I always said when he falls, it will only be once, and the woman that finally gets him will have his total devotion. He’ll spend every minute of the rest of his life to give her the world and make her happy. I ain’t never seen him like this with any other woman, Kat. That Maya girl messed with his head and his heart, but he never felt for her what he feels for you. I think he’s fallen and fallen all the way. I think you have too, but please have a care with my boy.”

I couldn’t help myself. I got up and hugged her.

“No matter what he says or does, Kat, he’s a good man,” she whispered. “Please give him a chance.”

I didn’t get a chance to reply, as the kitchen was suddenly filled with more hungry kids’ mouths.

“Lord have mercy, children! Stop acting like a pack of wolves and get in a line! There’s plenty for everyone.” Betsey barked out orders like an army drill sergeant, and I laughed at them snapping straight and lining up. She so lied. She would make more casseroles if they were needed.