Life took on yet another different turn, and this time it was marked by the comings and goings of the Russian billionaire in my life. Moving to Florida, the greatest thing that worried me was that we’d eventually drift apart, and that it would hurt me.

But the opposite happened.

The distance between us actually made our friendship stronger, and there wasn’t a day that I didn’t talk to him over the phone. Most weekends, Sergei also flew over to visit me, and every time he did I’d put up a token protest.

You’re spending too much money. You don’t have to visit me all the time. I don’t want to cause you any trouble at work.

But the Russian billionaire only brushed off my every excuse, and whenever he did, I didn’t try too hard to convince him otherwise.

Before I knew it, the day I turned the big three-oh came, and it was also the first time that the Russian billionaire had canceled on me out of the blue. To be fair, he did try to call me several times, presumably to explain his reason for canceling, but even so.

“That’s like the eighteenth time your phone rang,” Alyx remarked in amusement from across the table.

For my birthday, I had reserved one of the private rooms of a popular Japanese restaurant downtown. I had also planned to finally introduce Sergei to the girls tonight, but obviously that plan was moot, and it was yet another reason the Russian’s billionaire standing me up had me so bummed.

“Aren’t you going to answer it?” Anneke de Konigh prompted. Blonde and blue-eyed, she was a cool Dutch beauty made famous by her connections to the royal family of Contini…as well as the fact that she was married to Italian billionaire Marcus Ravelli.

“No,” I answered shortly, glaring at my phone. I knew I should silence it, but…I liked hearing it ring, liked to imagine that it was the sound of the Russian billionaire begging my forgiveness. “Anyway, let’s not talk about him---”

“What? No, we have to,” Alyx protested. “He’s the most interesting thing to have happened to you, and you’ve been so closemouthed about him. Seriously, it’s like the paps know more about you and Sergei Grachyov than we do.”

“Which isn’t right,” Anneke added primly, “since we’re your best friends.”

I made a face. “You guys are horrible.”

“Come on,” Alyx wheedled. “There must be some deets you can share with us.”

“What do you want to know?” I asked helplessly.

“Have you hooked up with him yet?” my cousin asked right away.

I gasped. “No!” But I couldn’t help turning red at the same time, and my friends crowed at seeing my expression.

“You’ve made out,” Anneke said slyly, “haven’t you?”

“No.” But my face turned even redder as I uttered the lie.

“Oh my God,” Alyx half-moaned, half-laughed. “I can’t believe it! You, my super-conservative cousin, actually made out with one of the world’s greatest heartbreakers!”

“Don’t confuse him with other billionaires,” I immediately protested. “He’s nothing like Yanna’s husband!” And by that I meant Constantijin Kastein, a billionaire married to one of Alyx’s high school friends, and who had once been known as Netherlands’ #1 Playboy.

“Whatevs.” Alyx simply waved my protest away. Leaning forward, she asked eagerly in a whisper, “Did you make it to second base? Third base?”

Again, my flushed expression gave me away, and Anneke and Alyx gasped simultaneously.

“Really?” Alyx looked stunned and impressed at the same time.

“And to think,” Anneke murmured pensively, “you kept telling us you were never going to have anything to do with a younger guy.”

“It was just once, okay?” Both of them sent me dubious looks, and I groaned. “I’m not lying. It was really just once. Okay?”

“What makes him different from the rest?” Alyx asked with undisguised curiosity. “I mean, that Russian professor you were crushing on was hot, too, wasn’t he? Why didn’t that push through?”

I responded with a tight-lipped look, determined not to say anything that could incriminate me.

“Is it because he’s huge?”

“Alyx!” My phone rang at the same time, and the three of us started, looking at each other guiltily even knowing Sergei Grachyov wasn’t around to hear us talking about his package.

My phone continued to ring, but before I could cancel the call, Alyx completely took me by surprise as she reached for my phone and pressed the answer button.

“Alyx,” I hissed, but it was too late.

The call had connected, and Alyx only flashed me a sly grin, mouthing, Loudspeaker please.

No way, I mouthed back furiously. My gaze flew back to the phone, and with the time counter still running, I knew Sergei still hadn’t dropped the call. I reluctantly reached for my iPhone, mumbling, “Hello?”

“I’m sorry, pchelka. I would have been there if it were possible.”

“I understand,” I said very, very brightly. I had my pride, too, and I didn’t want him to realize how much his absence hurt.

“We had an emergency at the company, and with Papa still in Moscow, I was the only one who could take care of it.”

“I really understand.” I knew he wasn’t the type to lie about things like this, but even so.

“S dnem rozhdeniya.” The billionaire’s voice was soft but thickly accented, tender and fierce.

Damn him. The sound of his voice, combined with the birthday greeting, made my knees go weak under the table, and I hated it.

I hated this.

I hated him.

“I miss you, pchelka.”

No, you don’t, I thought. If he had, then he should have been here with me.

“I’ll be there tomorrow---”

“Please don’t bother,” I heard myself say in a sweet voice.

“Fredericka---”

“I think it’s good we spend a bit more time apart anyway.” In front of me, Alyx and Anneke gawked openly at my words.

“Is that so?” The Russian billionaire’s voice had become stiff.

I forced a laugh, asking, “You do know the paparazzi has taken to calling me Attorney Moneypenny, right?”

My “nickname” was due to the fact that my platonic-on-the-surface relationship with the Russian billionaire reminded people of James Bond’s friendship with M’s secretary, and as one tabloid had spun it, ‘I was the only woman to make the billionaire smile, the only woman Sergei Grachyov trusts because he knew my career meant more to me than being his girlfriend.’

They were right in a way, but they had also missed the pertinent fact that the Russian billionaire was exactly like me. As tonight had proved, work also meant more to him than our friendship did.

“I am aware of it.” The Russian billionaire seemed to be picking his words with care. “Does it displease you?”

“It does, actually. No single guy’s tried to approach me ever since people think I’m your Miss Moneypenny.”

Anneke’s jaw dropped at my words while Alyx simply looked at me like I had lost my mind.

“I see.” Sergei’s tone had never been colder than it was at that moment, but I told myself I was fine with it. “Prosti. I failed to realize how undesirable my presence in your life has become.”

The stiff formality in his words made me flinch, and I wanted to childishly snarl at him that 24-year-old guys like him shouldn’t speak English like he had a master’s degree in literature. I was the lawyer here, the professional, while he was the billionaire playboy who also happened to be six years younger. It wasn’t right that he was making me feel like I was the one acting immature.

“Yes, well, that’s how it is.”

“Ya ponimayu.” I understand. “I’ll make sure not to bother you too often then.” His voice was chillingly polite. “Da svidaniya.” It was a formal form of goodbye, followed by the sound of the Russian billionaire ending the call in a click.

When I lowered my iPhone back on the table, Alyx burst out, “What the hell was that?”

“It’s better this way, isn’t it?” I muttered. “I’ve become too dependent on him, and you two know it.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Anneke asked, bewildered. “You two enjoy each other’s company---”

“In more ways than one,” Alyx added.

I glared at my cousin. “ALYX!”

“But it’s true,” she argued. “Haven’t you ever heard of friends with benefits?”

I snorted. “Tell me that when you’ve done it, too.” For all her bold talk, Alyx was a virgin as much as I was and we both knew it.

“Well, if I had a friend as yummy as Sergei Grachyov, I wouldn’t let those benefits go to waste. Unfortunately, I don’t.” She looked at me pointedly. “But you do, and I think it’s stupid that you’re pushing him away for no reason.”

“It’s better this way.”

And I kept telling myself that, day after day. A full month passed, and it was the longest that Sergei and I had neither talked nor seen each other, and it was like having the sun stop shining on me. Yes, it was dramatic, but it was exactly how I felt.

The nights were the worst. To my utter shame, I tried relieving my loneliness by touching myself. But this time, my fingers were no longer enough. I even tried fantasizing about him, but it still didn’t work. I couldn’t make myself come.

In a moment of absolute weakness, I succumbed to another urge. A pretty package in black was delivered to my doorstep one Friday night, and I couldn’t make myself look into the delivery guy’s eye as I scribbled my signature on his ledger.

When he left, I hurried to my bedroom, pulled the blinds shut, and closed the lights before unwrapping the package in the dark.

The feel of it was strange but familiar, and I couldn’t help gulping at what I was about to do.

My first ever vibrator, I thought numbly.

Was this right or wrong? Was this an act of women empowerment or me sinking to the lowest of low? I had no idea. All I knew was that this might be the only way to forget him.

Pulling the covers over me, I placed the vibrator beside me before undressing myself. My nakedness made me shiver self-consciously, but I deliberately pushed all my worries away and forced myself to concentrate on how I was already anticipating what I was about to do.

I was excited, and that was a good thing. For the past month, I had been living like a zombie, and this was the closest I felt to being alive again.

Reaching for the vibrator, I allowed my legs to part under the covers, wider and wider and wider, until my insides began to ache and my folds began to swell at the delicious pressure I had put myself in. I closed my eyes, and to my shock an image of Sergei Grachyov suddenly filled my mind, vivid and powerful.

This was bad. This was good.

Either way, it was too late to stop myself.

In my mind, it was the Russian billionaire who had parted my legs open, and my lips parted in a soundless moan as I imagined Sergei running his dark gaze over my naked body. My flesh trembled, my folds becoming wet, and I knew it was time.

My hands trembled as I attached the sex toy to my tiny, throbbing nub of flesh.

Click.

As it started to vibrate, I squeezed my eyes shut more tightly, my lips parting in a silent gasp.

Sergei.

In my mind, it was Sergei behind the powerful vibrations, and my body arched off the bed in a sensual shudder.

Oh God.

I squeezed my eyes shut as my insides started to tighten.

Sergei, Sergei.

The steady, powerful vibration against my clit had me slowly seeing stars. My breasts started to swell, and I slowly reached for them, cupping and kneading the flesh before bringing my fingers to the aroused buds---

I pinched my nipples, imagining it was the Russian billionaire doing it---

AAAAAAAH.

My silent, drawn-out moan bounced against the walls of my mind, and my naked body arched against the covers. The silk over my body brushed tantalizingly against the tips of my breasts, heightening my arousal, and I gasped silently again.

Oh God, Sergei, Sergei, Sergei---

I reached for my little toy, made the vibration just one level stronger---

BRRRRRRRRR.

Oh God, oh God.

Sergei.

My eyes rolled back as my body started to tighten, the exquisite sensation painfully and wonderfully familiar.

BRRRRRRRRR.

My legs trembled hard, the inner muscles of my pussy contracting and releasing as it prepared for my release, and God oh God, it was just like having Sergei torment me---

BRRRRRRRRR.

Sergei.

I could see him in my mind, his beautiful face made harsh with desire.

I could picture his thin, perfect lips moving, could hear his accented voice growling---

Let me feel your cum.

BRRRRRRRRR.

Pleasure swept over me as I came hard with a silent sob.

My body shook harder and harder with every gush of wetness, and I could feel myself going faint. But even so I didn’t reach for my little toy. I let it vibrate and torture my nub, wanting to prolong my release.

It took a long time for the sensations to fade to nothing, and every tiny bone of my pussy felt used and exhausted by the time I put the toy away. The experience had been good. No, it was great actually, but even so---

Why did I still feel empty now?

Another month passed. Playing with my “toy” was now a weekly thing, just as stalking Sergei online was. To distract myself, I accepted as many cases as I could and worked overtime every night. My diligence paid off, and I was eventually assigned to a high-profile case that had me representing Nick and Jason Christakos. The two younger Greeks were twins and billionaires in their own right, and if I won their case for them, making it to state attorney was almost a shoo-in.

Once the contract for legal representation was signed and my meeting with the twins over, I called my friends, wanting to celebrate with them but both girls asked for a rain check, with Alyx tied up at work while Anneke was still overseas.

And so it’s just me, I thought glumly. The weather outside the building matched my mood perfectly, with overcast skies and a steady downpour that had me tiredly snapping my bag closed before reaching for my trusty umbrella.

In the past, walking around had been completely out of the question with the way the paparazzi dogged my every step. But it was different now. They had seemed to figure out that I was no longer Sergei’s “Attorney Moneypenny,” and it had been weeks since I last made it to any gossip website.

Stepping past the law firm’s front doors, I snapped my umbrella open, and when I raised it up, the first thing I saw was…him.

I whitened.

Sergei Grachyov gazed at me with inscrutable dark eyes, looking more achingly gorgeous than I allowed myself to remember. He, too, was holding an umbrella, large and sleek and obviously expensive.

Burberry, I thought dazedly. Burberry actually made umbrellas?

“Zdrastvuyte.” His ‘hello’ was spoken quietly, his narrowed gaze trained on my face.

“Zdrastvuyte,” I whispered. I knew I was acting like an idiot. A thirty-year-old idiot, but I couldn’t help it. I also couldn’t help staring at him, even knowing that I was being obvious about it. Had he always been this tall? Had he always been this muscular? And had he always been able to make my heart hammer against my chest like it was Thor wielding it?

The silence stretched between us, making me feel terrified and desperate. Please let this be real. Please let him not be a figment of my imagination. Please.

When he started to speak again, I couldn’t help stiffening, already thinking of the worst. He would tell me he hated me. He would tell me he was here because he was looking for another lawyer at the firm, not me. He would---

And then I heard him ask tautly, “Do you still find my presence undesirable?”

Oh.

Oh!

Tears stung my eyes as I stared at him, knowing he could have made it so much worse. He could have prolonged my misery, maybe even forced me to beg. But he hadn’t. He could have chosen to act petty and immature, the way I had, and he would have had the right to do so.

I choked out, “No.” And before he could say another word, I said brokenly, “I’m sorry.”

The billionaire’s eyes flashed. A second later and he had taken hold of my hand, his grip punishingly tight, and it was exactly the way I wanted it. He was holding on to me like he never wanted to let me go, and I held him just as tightly, feeling the same even though I would never admit it out loud.

“Come share my umbrella,” he murmured, and I didn’t even think of arguing. We started walking, holding hands like our time apart had never happened.

“Are you representing the Christakos twins now?”

I almost stumbled in shock, and I looked up at him, blurting out, “How did you know?”

He looked back at me, unsmiling. “So you are.”

I said slowly, “Yes.” I didn’t see any reason to deny it.

“And it will do no good if I ask you to turn the case over to someone else?”

“Why would you ask that?”

“I have no quarrel with them, but the party you’re up against---”

“Abraxam Davos?”

He nodded curtly. “He’s bad news, pchelka. You must be aware that he has no qualms about having his enemies tortured and murdered.”

I gazed at him with sudden understanding, and I asked softly, “Is that why you’re here?”

“If not for Davos,” he said without hesitation, “I would have let you continue punishing yourself.”

Riiiiight. But I couldn’t deny it because it was the truth.

“If you are determined to see this through---”

“I am.”

His lips tightened. “Then at least promise me you will take care---”

I nodded.

“And that you will not hesitate to ask me for help if you shall have a need to do so,” he finished.

I frowned. “Sergei---”

“Promise me,” he said very softly, “or I will not hesitate to interfere and take this case off your hands.”

“Sergei!”

The billionaire’s hard expression didn’t soften. “Then your promise?”

Realizing that it was futile to argue, I said grudgingly, “I give you my word.”

“Good. And one last thing---”

I stopped walking, arms crossing over my chest as I snarled accusingly, “You’re having too much fun extracting your pound of flesh.”

Sergei’s expression slowly eased, his lips curving into a smirk that should have irritated me but instead had my heart hammering even more violently against my chest. “I suppose so,” he admitted equably. “But I do have one last condition, and you will agree to it.”

My back stiffened with suspicion at the way his tone turned serious, and I asked warily, “What’s your condition?”

“If you tell me you do not want me in your life again, make sure you mean it.”

My throat tightened at the savage note in his voice. “Sergei---”

“My mother has been a selfish creature all her life, and for as long as I can remember, she never hesitated to play with my father’s affections and her children’s. When she needed us, she would pretend to be what we wanted her to be. But when she didn’t, she made us feel like we were trash she couldn’t wait to get rid of.”

I whitened, never imagining that my moment of pettiness could dredge up such dreadful memories for Sergei. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t realize.”

“You weren’t supposed to. Only few people know how bad it had been between my parents.” His grip suddenly tightening, he said harshly, “You are important to me, pchelka. But I will not allow myself to be manipulated---”

I closed the distance between us, and as soon as his fingers loosened its hold, I hugged him as tightly as I could. “I promise,” I whispered against the hard, powerful wall of his chest. Heart aching at the pain I had inadvertently caused him, I said shakily, “No more games. No more lies.”

Even if being with him was like allowing history to repeat itself---

Even if being with him was the most terrifying risk I had ever taken---

I meant every word.