Lauren threw her head back, desperate to drag air into her lungs. The warmth of the hotel room closed around her. Heat thrummed off Garrett’s slick body underneath her. The mattress dipped where her knees dug in next to his hips.

She loved this position. On top of him. Surrounding him. Hands on his chest and staring down into that intense gaze.

Temptation pulled at her. Right then she wanted that mouth. It had been all over her. Licking and tasting, sometimes nibbling before kissing her sensitive skin again. She leaned down and his length pushed up inside her. The move had her gasping as her mouth closed over his. She breathed him in, taking his air as his hands smoothed over her breasts and around to her lower back.

He broke the kiss by tipping his head deep into the pillows. “You’re killing me.”

That was on purpose. The first time tonight had been fast. They’d walked in and he threw her on the bed. Stripped her and put her on her hands and knees. She’d never come so hard or so fast. But this time was for her. He told her to lead, to take control. And she loved the rush of power.

“I want to savor this,” she whispered.

He put his hands on either side of her face and pushed her hair back. Held it there. “You have more faith in my control than I do.”

That wasn’t true and she really loved that part. When his body had started to take over and his hips began to buck a few minutes ago, she’d lifted off him. Told him he didn’t have her permission. Damn if he didn’t grit his teeth and tell her to get moving.

Now she wanted to hold out, to prolong the sensual torture. To slowly lift and lower her body as he squirmed and begged.

She licked her bottom lip . . . just because. “I believe in you.”

“Fuck.” His arms fell back on the mattress on either side of his head. “Take pity on me, woman.”

She trailed her fingernails down his chest. Over the tight muscles and along the sharp dips. “You are so sexy.”

He groaned. Then he shifted. The move was subtle, just the lift of one hip, but that’s all it took. The last of the air rushed out of her. She sank deeper over him until the tightening inside her let go.

She rested her palms against his chest, felt his fingers brush over her arms and leaned in. Up and down. One last plunging fall and she lost it. The orgasm slammed into her. All that foreplay, all the touching, turned every inch of her into a sensitive quaking mess.

She could hear the noises in her throat as her head fell forward. Her back arched and her hair swept over her shoulder to hang in her face. With Garrett, she was free to be who she wanted and take what she needed. Without ever saying a word, he insisted she not hold back. With him she didn’t.

When the final waves of pleasure moved through her, she inhaled nice and deep. Her body hummed as she lifted her head just enough to look at him. Their gazes met.

A hint of a smile played on his lips. “I could watch you do that every single day.”

Before the words sank in, he wrapped an arm around her waist and flipped them over. Her back hit the mattress and on instinct her legs wrapped around him. The quick switch thrust him even deeper. Her skin and the tiny muscle inside her were already primed and sensitive. Having him rest there, pressing against her, was almost too much. Every breath he took echoed inside her.

“You okay?” He asked the question through rough breaths.

This man. In just a short time, and through all her defenses, her feelings for him pushed past attraction. She actually liked him, wanted to be with him . . . dreaded the idea of him leaving to go back home.

She’d expended every ounce of energy but she found the strength to lift her hand. She skimmed her thumb over the stubble on his chin, across that sexy bottom lip, loving every angle. “I’m great. Thanks to you.”

“I need—”

“Do it.” She brought his head down for another heart-stopping kiss.

Her hands slipped over him. Across those shoulders and traveled down his back. And she kept going. Her palms stopped their tour on his firm ass and she cupped him in both hands.

He lifted his head and a sexy smile lit up his face. “Well, now.”

“That was for me.” She tightened her thighs against his hips. “Now tell me what you need.”

“I have it.” He started moving then. In and out of her, pushing and thrusting, scooping her into his arms.

He balanced his body over hers, rubbed against her until the heat blinded her again. Without another word, he buried his mouth in her neck. One last push and he blew out a long breath. His wet mouth touched her skin as his hips flexed and the orgasm tore through him.

His body rocked against her. The rumble in his chest vibrated against her as the last of the tension eased from him.

Opening her eyes, the hotel’s white ceiling came into focus. Her fingers played with the damp ends of his hair. The way he sprawled over her anchored her. She felt complete and satisfied and more than a little punch drunk from the whip of adrenaline that was only now dying down.

She’d suspected it would be like this with him. Right and a little abandoned. Totally free and accepting. Garrett was one of the few people she’d ever met who didn’t disappoint her. He was exactly who he promised to be, beginning to end. She loved that about him.

The word floated through her mind and the exhaustion fled. No, not that. She’d been careful, even in her marriage, not to fall hard. She stayed in control, and that was certainly required with Garrett, the guy who held back as much as she did.

His past was a mix of memories and danger. None of that scared her. If anything, it reassured her that he could handle almost anything. For once, maybe she didn’t have to be the adult. But this was fun.

Fun only. She repeated that mantra in her mind.

He lifted up and balanced his weight over her on his elbows. “What are you thinking about?”

The question caught her off guard. “What?”

“I can almost feel you thinking.”

“That’s not a thing.” At least she hoped not.

He shifted to the side, easing out of her and taking some of his weight off her. “Honestly? You started making these strained noises. I think I could hear them because I was on top of you, but I’m guessing you weren’t thinking about getting something to eat. Though I’m game, if you’re wondering.”

“May I ask you something?” She didn’t have the right and she wasn’t dying to know, but the more time they spent together the more she wanted to collect these pieces of him. Gather one here and one there until she had an image of the whole man in front of her. Not just what he wanted to show her, but who he really was. She knew from experience those could be two very different things.

He winced. “Experience tells me when someone asks for permission first, the question is going to carry a wallop, but go ahead.”

“It’s about the killing.”

He rested his head on his palm and watched her. “Carl?”

“You.”

“Wait.” His hand dropped to his side. “What are we talking about?”

“You’ve hinted that . . . well, in your past . . .”

This time he shifted until he sat up, leaning against the pillows. “Are you asking if I’ve killed people?”

With the sheets wrapped around her, she eased up to sit next to him, careful not to touch him in case he didn’t want to be touched. “I’m trying to figure out why you’re familiar with killing.”

“You are strangely calm about this topic.”

She put her hand on his lap and sighed with relief when he slipped his fingers through hers. “I’m not afraid of you, if that’s what you’re trying not to ask.”

“Why?”

“Why?” He continued to stare at her despite her stunned response, not showing any signs of explaining the question, so she tried another tact. “I’ve lived my entire adult life detached after spending every year before that as the only responsible one in my household.”

His body came alive then. He didn’t move, but energy pounded off him. He was interested and engaged. “What about your parents?”

“My dad was long gone by the time I could talk.” That was the easy part. “My mom . . . uh . . .”

He squeezed her hand. “Would it be easier if you knew when I first met you I had a file on you?”

She shifted to face him. “Meaning?”

“It’s part of what I do for Wren. I collect information.” He brought their joined hands up to his mouth and placed a quick kiss on the back of hers. “I know your mom died when you were seventeen.”

“Do you know the details?”

“I didn’t look. Didn’t think they were relevant.”

She laughed but she there was no amusement in the sound or inside her. “Some people think my past explains why I am the way I am.”

“Loving? Smart? Driven? Sexy as hell?”

“Aloof.”

He shook his head. “I’ve told you before. That one doesn’t fit.”

“She battled depression and these incredible cycles where she moved and talked at hyperspeed. It was nonstop. No sleep. No eating. Just racing around and solving these puzzles that only seemed to exist in her head.” More than a decade later the memories clicked into place. She didn’t have to dig to find them. No, she’d spent years trying to smooth out the edges and file them away. “She hated the meds because they made everything dull and colorless.”

“That’s a lot to handle as a kid.”

“That was easy compared to the times when nothing mattered and she wanted out.” Lauren gulped in air but it did nothing to ease the lump in her throat. “She tried and failed, then one day she succeeded.”

“She killed herself.” Garrett cradled her hand in both of his now.

“Ran her car into a tree.” Lauren rested her head against the wall and fought off a punch of grief. This one was new, fresh. A reminder that her job had always been to take care of other people. The only thing she learned was not to let her emotions engage, not get close enough to get sucked under again. “She was on the phone with me at the time.”

He didn’t say anything but he did move. His arm came around her, tucking her in close to his side. His thumb rubbed her shoulder and his lips brushed her hair. He enveloped her in a comforting hold that made her feel cherished and safe.

She’d tried to explain her upbringing to other people. Told them parts of the story and watched the pity overtake them. Heard every comment about her mother “being in a better place now” and how everyone had someone like that in their family. They all meant well, but the words and those lame phrases only caused her to shut down faster.

Garrett didn’t try to make her feel better in the usual ways. The hug was so much more effective, so she closed her eyes and fell into him. For just a few minutes let her mind clear. Pushed out the list of things she needed to do and handle and worry about, and let the sound of his steady breathing guide her.

“The killings.” For almost a minute that’s all he said. “Before I worked for Wren I worked for the government. My official career was with the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency.”

She froze. She debated saying anything because she was desperate to hear him talk, to know more about what had shaped and created Garrett McGrath. “I don’t even know what that is.”

“It’s about monitoring and assessing data and images and where people and military equipment are located and how they’re shifting.”

“Just say spy stuff.”

He laughed. “That’s a line losers give in bars to get sex.”

“I can’t imagine it works.”

“Who knows? I’ve never tried it.” He settled deeper into the pillows as his body relaxed. “The point is I did do that work, but that’s not really who I worked for.”

She separated from him and sat up, letting the sheet dip in front of her but not caring. “Oh, my God. So, I was right. Actual spy stuff.”

“I did black ops work, which I can’t talk about and don’t want to, but that’s where I saw death. That and a mix of bad decisions, questionable management and unnecessary loss of innocents.” He exhaled. “And you are the only one outside of a small group of friends—small as in five—that know that.”

“I trust you, too.” The words popped out but she meant them.

He cupped her cheek. “I lost my parents when I was a little older than you were. Just a kid, really. Every choice I made after that, including seeking out a career that I believed allowed me to know the unknowable, both at the agency and now, stems from the car accident that took them.”

A chill ran through her. Their lives, so different on the surface, mirrored each other in some ways. Early deaths defined them and their decisions. Losing people they loved shoved them onto a path that made them responsible for others.

She understood him.

“If we were dating I’d say we just learned something important about each other.” She tried to make a joke but the tone didn’t come off right.

Tipping her mouth up, he kissed her. Slow and sweet until the end when he treated her to that sexy tongue. He lifted his head again. “I agree—we definitely learned one important thing over the last few days.”

Those eyes, that rough voice—she was mesmerized, hanging on his words. “What?”

“We are dating.”